Chapter 4. One or two people thought that chapter 3 went a bit too far in
the nastiness, and yeah it did. But I guess I needed that to kind of set
up a lot of the angst that goes on later. This chapter is a little less
"out there" Enjoy!
********
I came round about two hours later. I could still hear the party upstairs and for a moment I had forgotten what had happened to me, but the stench of mould creeping into my nostrils brought it all back to me. In a state of shock, I refastened my blouse and skirt and silently crept back to our servant's quarters.
The clock chimed 2am as I quietly closed the door behind me. I prayed that mother and Riff Raff had gone to bed so that I wouldn't have to talk or think about what had happened. I felt unclean, like it was my fault that this had happened, like I should have tried harder to stop him. I crept to the living room, I'd sleep on the sofa for the night, it would save waking my family up. I was shocked therefore to walk into the living room to find him perched on the edge of a seat. His concern was immediately visible and he obviously hadn't slept at all. I stood in the doorway staring at my feet, not saying a word. Riff Raff walked over to me and gently lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. He wiped a stray tear from my cheek and his cold fingertips passed over the fresh bruise there, making my flinch slightly. He grimace apologetically.
"What happened to you?" I shook my head and said nothing. I never wanted to speak to anybody again, not even my own brother. He looked me up and down, his face changing from worry to horror as he surveyed my torn blouse and bloodied apron. I knew that he could tell what had happened, but he wouldn't admit it to himself without confirmation from me. "He did this to you." It was barely even a question. He knew that Frank was to blame for my injuries, but I was sure he didn't know what else had happened. Given the choice I would have kept it that way.
"I'm going to bed now, brother, I'm exhausted." I turned towards our bedroom.
"Magenta! Don't you dare just walk away!" He grabbed my arms and pulled me around to face him. There was little I hated more than when he got like this. I loved him and I know that he treasured me above anything else, my brother was a wonderful creature but he could be so jealous and quick to anger. "I want you to tell me exactly what happened." I shook my head, trembling once again, with a few hot tears still falling down my face. "Don't ignore me!"
"Nothing happened! Please, Riff Raff, you're tired, please, don't be so irrational, I fell over into a doorframe, that's all, we can talk in the morning." I sounded pathetic, nobody would believe that, but it was all I could think of. Riff Raff let go of my arms and stared at me with a look I could only describe as disgust.
"You slept with him didn't you? You only got those injuries because you let him have his way with you? You gave him what he wanted!"
"No!"
"You told me, PROMISED me, you were saving yourself!"
"I WAS! I mean, I am."
"Then what happened?"
"It's none of your concern."
"You're my sister, of COURSE it's my concern if you're whoring yourself out to the master!"
"Please, don't ask me any more questions, Riff, I can't stand this right now."
"I thought this was something we could talk about. I thought you cared enough about me to tell me these things."
I hated it when he used lines like that. He knew that I would always try to defend my loyalty to him, I couldn't bear the idea of him thinking I didn't trust him 100%, and it hurt me so badly that he would suspect willing unfaithful behaviour.
"Riff Raff, I didn't.it wasn't.I mean." I started crying again. I had tried to resist it, but there are some things you can't argue with. The urge to break down was too great. My brother's anger instantly faded, his tone once again gentle.
"Magenta, my love, my beautiful sister, what happened?" I shook my head defiantly. How could I tell him that I had let somebody do this to me? I was filthy, an ugly, dirty creature. It was all my fault that this had happened, I didn't deserve to even see my dearest brother again, I had betrayed him and, from the expression of dawning realisation on his face, he had worked it out too. Incensed does not even begin to cover his reaction. "He fucked you?" I once again cast my gaze to the floor and said nothing. "The bastard raped you, didn't he?" I pressed myself against the wall convinced that he was going to act out his anger on me, I was sure that I would be the root of his frustration, I was his sister and I had let him down in the worst way I possibly could have. Riff continued to rant "How DARE he? He could have had anybody on the planet, how could he do this to you, my sister, blood of my blood? I'll kill him. I'm going to rip him limb from limb and feed him to the dogs, I-"
"SHUT UP!" I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't bear the tension. Something had to snap. There was no point in trying to calm myself down now; I was absolutely hysterical. It was a wonder that mother didn't come downstairs. I continued "Just stop it, I beg of you, I can't stand hearing you like this, especially because it's Frank who's driven you to this. Please, brother, don't speak that was!" I collapsed, gasping for breath, into his arms. I continued to sob and Riff Raff's anger seemed to dissipate instantly. He held me closely and provided the compassionate contact I so desperately needed at that moment. He gently kissed the top of my head, stroking my hair as he led me over to the couch. I curled up into a foetal position, my head resting in his lap, now crying silently. He placed one arm protectively across my body and stroked my hair with his free hand. I felt safe. Just his touch restored a part of my shattered feelings of security.
******** hmm, not entirely happy with this, but it's the best I could do. I'm not writing from experience of being in either magenta OR riff's situations, so I've kinda had to go out on a limb. Please R and R, I really want to know what you think of this so far.
********
I came round about two hours later. I could still hear the party upstairs and for a moment I had forgotten what had happened to me, but the stench of mould creeping into my nostrils brought it all back to me. In a state of shock, I refastened my blouse and skirt and silently crept back to our servant's quarters.
The clock chimed 2am as I quietly closed the door behind me. I prayed that mother and Riff Raff had gone to bed so that I wouldn't have to talk or think about what had happened. I felt unclean, like it was my fault that this had happened, like I should have tried harder to stop him. I crept to the living room, I'd sleep on the sofa for the night, it would save waking my family up. I was shocked therefore to walk into the living room to find him perched on the edge of a seat. His concern was immediately visible and he obviously hadn't slept at all. I stood in the doorway staring at my feet, not saying a word. Riff Raff walked over to me and gently lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. He wiped a stray tear from my cheek and his cold fingertips passed over the fresh bruise there, making my flinch slightly. He grimace apologetically.
"What happened to you?" I shook my head and said nothing. I never wanted to speak to anybody again, not even my own brother. He looked me up and down, his face changing from worry to horror as he surveyed my torn blouse and bloodied apron. I knew that he could tell what had happened, but he wouldn't admit it to himself without confirmation from me. "He did this to you." It was barely even a question. He knew that Frank was to blame for my injuries, but I was sure he didn't know what else had happened. Given the choice I would have kept it that way.
"I'm going to bed now, brother, I'm exhausted." I turned towards our bedroom.
"Magenta! Don't you dare just walk away!" He grabbed my arms and pulled me around to face him. There was little I hated more than when he got like this. I loved him and I know that he treasured me above anything else, my brother was a wonderful creature but he could be so jealous and quick to anger. "I want you to tell me exactly what happened." I shook my head, trembling once again, with a few hot tears still falling down my face. "Don't ignore me!"
"Nothing happened! Please, Riff Raff, you're tired, please, don't be so irrational, I fell over into a doorframe, that's all, we can talk in the morning." I sounded pathetic, nobody would believe that, but it was all I could think of. Riff Raff let go of my arms and stared at me with a look I could only describe as disgust.
"You slept with him didn't you? You only got those injuries because you let him have his way with you? You gave him what he wanted!"
"No!"
"You told me, PROMISED me, you were saving yourself!"
"I WAS! I mean, I am."
"Then what happened?"
"It's none of your concern."
"You're my sister, of COURSE it's my concern if you're whoring yourself out to the master!"
"Please, don't ask me any more questions, Riff, I can't stand this right now."
"I thought this was something we could talk about. I thought you cared enough about me to tell me these things."
I hated it when he used lines like that. He knew that I would always try to defend my loyalty to him, I couldn't bear the idea of him thinking I didn't trust him 100%, and it hurt me so badly that he would suspect willing unfaithful behaviour.
"Riff Raff, I didn't.it wasn't.I mean." I started crying again. I had tried to resist it, but there are some things you can't argue with. The urge to break down was too great. My brother's anger instantly faded, his tone once again gentle.
"Magenta, my love, my beautiful sister, what happened?" I shook my head defiantly. How could I tell him that I had let somebody do this to me? I was filthy, an ugly, dirty creature. It was all my fault that this had happened, I didn't deserve to even see my dearest brother again, I had betrayed him and, from the expression of dawning realisation on his face, he had worked it out too. Incensed does not even begin to cover his reaction. "He fucked you?" I once again cast my gaze to the floor and said nothing. "The bastard raped you, didn't he?" I pressed myself against the wall convinced that he was going to act out his anger on me, I was sure that I would be the root of his frustration, I was his sister and I had let him down in the worst way I possibly could have. Riff continued to rant "How DARE he? He could have had anybody on the planet, how could he do this to you, my sister, blood of my blood? I'll kill him. I'm going to rip him limb from limb and feed him to the dogs, I-"
"SHUT UP!" I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't bear the tension. Something had to snap. There was no point in trying to calm myself down now; I was absolutely hysterical. It was a wonder that mother didn't come downstairs. I continued "Just stop it, I beg of you, I can't stand hearing you like this, especially because it's Frank who's driven you to this. Please, brother, don't speak that was!" I collapsed, gasping for breath, into his arms. I continued to sob and Riff Raff's anger seemed to dissipate instantly. He held me closely and provided the compassionate contact I so desperately needed at that moment. He gently kissed the top of my head, stroking my hair as he led me over to the couch. I curled up into a foetal position, my head resting in his lap, now crying silently. He placed one arm protectively across my body and stroked my hair with his free hand. I felt safe. Just his touch restored a part of my shattered feelings of security.
******** hmm, not entirely happy with this, but it's the best I could do. I'm not writing from experience of being in either magenta OR riff's situations, so I've kinda had to go out on a limb. Please R and R, I really want to know what you think of this so far.