The jarring ring of the telephone woke Irene. She rubbed her eyes, and
then glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Who would be calling at
3:15 in the morning? she wondered. If she wasn't positive her girls were
safely in their beds, she would've become alarmed. But instead she was
annoyed. This intruder was invading her life. It was a game to him. He was
in complete control because she had no way of knowing who he was. She could
only guess. It was as though the caller knew the moment she found
happiness, and then tried to put a damper on it by reminding her that he
was still there.
She grabbed for the phone, but the ringing stopped. She lay back against her pillow. Now she'd have trouble falling back to sleep. She thought about Ken and smiled. She didn't know where this relationship would take her--she only knew she was happy and that was what mattered. Nothing had the right to get in the way of her happiness. She had suffered far too long and worked far too long to get to where she was today. She wasn't financially secure yet, but with the new book finished, in a year from now-- depending on her public's view of the book--she would be well on her way. And it couldn't come at a better time. Serena would be finishing her first year of college and Lita would be planning to enter her senior year of high school. She had dreams for her daughters. But she was realistic enough to know those dreams could only come true with the best education her daughters could get. And a good education cost money. Irene wanted to give them the start to a secure future. They deserved that and so much more.
She wished she could turn back the hands of time. She wanted to keep them close to her for just a little longer. There were so many things she'd change if she could. But not the time she had spent with them guiding, nurturing, being their friend as well as provider. Sometimes she wondered if that was enough. Would they only remember the bad times? Would they even realize the sacrifices she had made for them? Or would they only remember her mistakes and eventually resent her for them? She tried to be the best parent she could be, but it wasn't always easy. There had been so many times she wished for a strong shoulder to lean on. Alexander had promised her that shoulder, but then abruptly pulled it away--leaving her vulnerable and alone.
She had to take this relationship with Ken slowly and with her eyes wide open. She couldn't bear the pain of another failure. Even though the first two weren't her fault, she had allowed herself to enter into these marriages. No one had forced her. She was a statistic, twice divorced. But did they ever look at the extenuating circumstances? She had no way of knowing the type of men Ben Johnson and Alexander Copeland would turn out to be. She'd gone into each of those marriages with confidence and hopes for the future. But no matter what her intentions had been, both failed miserably and painfully, leaving her wounded and rejected.
She'd always been acutely optimistic and believed somewhere out there was the perfect match for her. Someone who would give her all the tender care and security she'd always craved. As the years marched on, though, she wondered if time was running out for her. Was she getting too old to have these dreams? She knew she would have no more children. Would that dissuade Ken? Would he be turned off by the details of her two marriages? Would he somehow misconstrue the facts and blame her? After all, he was a man. Was the saying true that all men stick together? Or was that something some bitter woman had once told her and it had somehow ingrained itself in her memory?
She yawned. She was exhausted, but it would be a while before she could get back to sleep. Her mind was too wired. She grabbed her notebook and pen, deciding to take advantage of the moment and jot down her feelings and thoughts.
The morning dawned dark and dreary. A cool rain was falling. Lita and Serena sat at the kitchen table, finishing breakfast, when Irene sauntered into the room.
"Was Ken here last night?" Lita asked with a sly grin.
Irene turned to her youngest. "What? No good morning?"
"Just get to the facts," Lita answered.
"Yes, he came over for a cup of coffee." She put a pot of coffee on to brew.
"And?" Serena asked impatiently, looking up from her bowl of Frosted Flakes.
"And what?"
"Come on, Mom," Serena persisted.
"We're going to try."
"Try what?" Lita asked with a toss of her head, rolling her eyes at her sister. "Tell us what happened."
Irene laughed as she pulled up a chair and sat across from her daughters. "Okay." She rested her chin on her hand. "Ken and I are going to be seeing each other, but we're going to take things very slow."
The girls smiled at each other.
"But I want you both to know," she continued, "that your opinion is very important to me. If you pick up on any warning signs I might miss, please tell me."
"Sure," Serena agreed. "But he's different."
"He's not bad looking for an old guy either," Lita added.
She laughed. "So, what's on the school agenda today?"
"The seniors are having a rally. Then we get to sign yearbooks and just hang out."
"Sounds like fun. What about you, Lita?"
She shrugged. "We won't do much in class. Probably just review."
"Do you girls want to do anything special tonight?"
"Sure," Serena said.
"We could go out to dinner," Lita suggested.
"Okay, you two decide and let me know after school."
Serena stood up and put her dishes in the sink. "I have to get going. I promised Lisa I'd meet her."
"Have a good day, honey." Irene kissed her cheek.
"Oh, I almost forgot--did the phone ring in the middle of the night?"
"Yes, but I didn't get to it in time, so I can only assume it was our 'friend'," Irene replied. "Ken is having a tap put on the phone this morning."
"Good." She picked up her books. "Gotta go."
Irene poured herself a cup of coffee, and then sat back down. She turned her attention to Lita and noticed how tired she looked. "Is everything all right with you, Lita?" she asked.
"Sure. Why?"
"I don't know." She patted Lita's hand. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
She raised her head and sighed deeply. It was a sigh that Irene knew too well. It meant life was getting complicated, too much was happening too fast.
"Everything's changing, Mom."
"Like what, honey?" she softly asked.
Lita's eyes narrowed. "Serena will be going to college pretty soon and it'll just be different. That's all."
"She'll be home for vacations," she assured her.
"It won't be the same."
Irene gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're going to miss her, aren't you?"
"It's not just that." She stared into her mother's eyes. "Its scary thinking about growing up and being on your own."
"You've got time, Lita." She squeezed her hand again. "Besides, you and Serena both know that you can live with me for as long as you want."
"What if something happened to you?"
"Nothing's going to happen to me. And even if by chance it did, remember that you still have your Dad."
Lita laughed bitterly. "Yeah, right. He's so critical of everything we do. Nothing ever pleases him."
"Don't worry. I'm fine and I promise I'll always be here for you."
Lita stood up. "I guess I'd better get to school."
"Aren't you going with Morrison?"
"No, he had to go early to make up a test."
"Well, don't worry. Everything is going to work out. We'll have fun tonight." She smiled. "Have a good day, honey."
Lita kissed her mother's cheek. "See you later, Mom."
Amy Madison laughed heartily. "You're something, Irene. I'm happy that you finally took the plunge. Ken seems like a nice young man."
"He is." Irene grinned. "I can't believe we almost didn't get together because our signals were crossed."
"All that matters is that you did."
"I'm glad he understood why I couldn't get involved last year. But I feel bad he thought it was because I wasn't interested in him and didn't realize I wasn't ready for a man in my life."
"It's going to be exciting getting to know him. You need someone to take care of you." She saw Irene's eyes narrow and she put her hand up in protest. "Let me rephrase that. You deserve to have someone take care of you for a change. God knows the suffering you've been through."
"But it made me stronger and better."
"That it did," Amy agreed.
"I don't mean to run, but Ken's coming over. The police finally put the tap on the line and he wants to check it out."
"Good," Amy said with obvious relief in her voice. "But I still won't rest easy until you find out who the caller is, even though I have my suspicions."
"Let me guess," Irene said with a sly smile. "Could you possibly suspect Alexander?"
Amy lowered her eyes. "You know perfectly well, Irene, that I have always suspected him even though I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Well, you're not alone in your suspicions. Ken is convinced it's Alexander."
"You stick with Ken. My intuition tells me he's the right one for you. And I rarely read people wrong."
Irene chuckled. "Yes, Mrs. Madison."
Amy gave her a quick hug. "It does my heart good to see you so happy. Now get going," she said as she opened the door. "And don't forget to give me all the details later!" she called after her.
She grabbed for the phone, but the ringing stopped. She lay back against her pillow. Now she'd have trouble falling back to sleep. She thought about Ken and smiled. She didn't know where this relationship would take her--she only knew she was happy and that was what mattered. Nothing had the right to get in the way of her happiness. She had suffered far too long and worked far too long to get to where she was today. She wasn't financially secure yet, but with the new book finished, in a year from now-- depending on her public's view of the book--she would be well on her way. And it couldn't come at a better time. Serena would be finishing her first year of college and Lita would be planning to enter her senior year of high school. She had dreams for her daughters. But she was realistic enough to know those dreams could only come true with the best education her daughters could get. And a good education cost money. Irene wanted to give them the start to a secure future. They deserved that and so much more.
She wished she could turn back the hands of time. She wanted to keep them close to her for just a little longer. There were so many things she'd change if she could. But not the time she had spent with them guiding, nurturing, being their friend as well as provider. Sometimes she wondered if that was enough. Would they only remember the bad times? Would they even realize the sacrifices she had made for them? Or would they only remember her mistakes and eventually resent her for them? She tried to be the best parent she could be, but it wasn't always easy. There had been so many times she wished for a strong shoulder to lean on. Alexander had promised her that shoulder, but then abruptly pulled it away--leaving her vulnerable and alone.
She had to take this relationship with Ken slowly and with her eyes wide open. She couldn't bear the pain of another failure. Even though the first two weren't her fault, she had allowed herself to enter into these marriages. No one had forced her. She was a statistic, twice divorced. But did they ever look at the extenuating circumstances? She had no way of knowing the type of men Ben Johnson and Alexander Copeland would turn out to be. She'd gone into each of those marriages with confidence and hopes for the future. But no matter what her intentions had been, both failed miserably and painfully, leaving her wounded and rejected.
She'd always been acutely optimistic and believed somewhere out there was the perfect match for her. Someone who would give her all the tender care and security she'd always craved. As the years marched on, though, she wondered if time was running out for her. Was she getting too old to have these dreams? She knew she would have no more children. Would that dissuade Ken? Would he be turned off by the details of her two marriages? Would he somehow misconstrue the facts and blame her? After all, he was a man. Was the saying true that all men stick together? Or was that something some bitter woman had once told her and it had somehow ingrained itself in her memory?
She yawned. She was exhausted, but it would be a while before she could get back to sleep. Her mind was too wired. She grabbed her notebook and pen, deciding to take advantage of the moment and jot down her feelings and thoughts.
The morning dawned dark and dreary. A cool rain was falling. Lita and Serena sat at the kitchen table, finishing breakfast, when Irene sauntered into the room.
"Was Ken here last night?" Lita asked with a sly grin.
Irene turned to her youngest. "What? No good morning?"
"Just get to the facts," Lita answered.
"Yes, he came over for a cup of coffee." She put a pot of coffee on to brew.
"And?" Serena asked impatiently, looking up from her bowl of Frosted Flakes.
"And what?"
"Come on, Mom," Serena persisted.
"We're going to try."
"Try what?" Lita asked with a toss of her head, rolling her eyes at her sister. "Tell us what happened."
Irene laughed as she pulled up a chair and sat across from her daughters. "Okay." She rested her chin on her hand. "Ken and I are going to be seeing each other, but we're going to take things very slow."
The girls smiled at each other.
"But I want you both to know," she continued, "that your opinion is very important to me. If you pick up on any warning signs I might miss, please tell me."
"Sure," Serena agreed. "But he's different."
"He's not bad looking for an old guy either," Lita added.
She laughed. "So, what's on the school agenda today?"
"The seniors are having a rally. Then we get to sign yearbooks and just hang out."
"Sounds like fun. What about you, Lita?"
She shrugged. "We won't do much in class. Probably just review."
"Do you girls want to do anything special tonight?"
"Sure," Serena said.
"We could go out to dinner," Lita suggested.
"Okay, you two decide and let me know after school."
Serena stood up and put her dishes in the sink. "I have to get going. I promised Lisa I'd meet her."
"Have a good day, honey." Irene kissed her cheek.
"Oh, I almost forgot--did the phone ring in the middle of the night?"
"Yes, but I didn't get to it in time, so I can only assume it was our 'friend'," Irene replied. "Ken is having a tap put on the phone this morning."
"Good." She picked up her books. "Gotta go."
Irene poured herself a cup of coffee, and then sat back down. She turned her attention to Lita and noticed how tired she looked. "Is everything all right with you, Lita?" she asked.
"Sure. Why?"
"I don't know." She patted Lita's hand. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
She raised her head and sighed deeply. It was a sigh that Irene knew too well. It meant life was getting complicated, too much was happening too fast.
"Everything's changing, Mom."
"Like what, honey?" she softly asked.
Lita's eyes narrowed. "Serena will be going to college pretty soon and it'll just be different. That's all."
"She'll be home for vacations," she assured her.
"It won't be the same."
Irene gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're going to miss her, aren't you?"
"It's not just that." She stared into her mother's eyes. "Its scary thinking about growing up and being on your own."
"You've got time, Lita." She squeezed her hand again. "Besides, you and Serena both know that you can live with me for as long as you want."
"What if something happened to you?"
"Nothing's going to happen to me. And even if by chance it did, remember that you still have your Dad."
Lita laughed bitterly. "Yeah, right. He's so critical of everything we do. Nothing ever pleases him."
"Don't worry. I'm fine and I promise I'll always be here for you."
Lita stood up. "I guess I'd better get to school."
"Aren't you going with Morrison?"
"No, he had to go early to make up a test."
"Well, don't worry. Everything is going to work out. We'll have fun tonight." She smiled. "Have a good day, honey."
Lita kissed her mother's cheek. "See you later, Mom."
Amy Madison laughed heartily. "You're something, Irene. I'm happy that you finally took the plunge. Ken seems like a nice young man."
"He is." Irene grinned. "I can't believe we almost didn't get together because our signals were crossed."
"All that matters is that you did."
"I'm glad he understood why I couldn't get involved last year. But I feel bad he thought it was because I wasn't interested in him and didn't realize I wasn't ready for a man in my life."
"It's going to be exciting getting to know him. You need someone to take care of you." She saw Irene's eyes narrow and she put her hand up in protest. "Let me rephrase that. You deserve to have someone take care of you for a change. God knows the suffering you've been through."
"But it made me stronger and better."
"That it did," Amy agreed.
"I don't mean to run, but Ken's coming over. The police finally put the tap on the line and he wants to check it out."
"Good," Amy said with obvious relief in her voice. "But I still won't rest easy until you find out who the caller is, even though I have my suspicions."
"Let me guess," Irene said with a sly smile. "Could you possibly suspect Alexander?"
Amy lowered her eyes. "You know perfectly well, Irene, that I have always suspected him even though I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Well, you're not alone in your suspicions. Ken is convinced it's Alexander."
"You stick with Ken. My intuition tells me he's the right one for you. And I rarely read people wrong."
Irene chuckled. "Yes, Mrs. Madison."
Amy gave her a quick hug. "It does my heart good to see you so happy. Now get going," she said as she opened the door. "And don't forget to give me all the details later!" she called after her.