This is my first Discworld story and it's slash (don't like don't read), and it's angst, and it's probably not in character but hey, who cares, right?
The credit for this goes to Jinxster, because after reading her wonderful stories I just knew I had to write a Carrot/Vimes fic. Thanks, love! :)
Disclaimer: Nope, it ain't mine. The plot, such as there is, belongs to me, but that's it really. I'm innocent, guv!
***
Corporal Nobbs was not doing much at all. He was slouched against a handy wall in between two shops having a quiet smoke and just generally skiving. More importantly, he was waiting for Fred Colon to appear so they could slope off to the Drum for a quick bevvy or two.
It had been a rather quiet day, really. An unlicensed robbery, which the Thieves Guild soon took care of, someone demanding justice against Mr Dibbler's sausages-inna-bun, and a suicide in the Shades (caused by unwise flaunting of gold on personage involved). All pretty normal, and Nobby was looking forward to a quiet drink, hopefully followed by a few very loud ones, before going home.
He slinked further into the shadows as he heard two pairs of footsteps approaching. He strained his ears as the footsteps stopped, and latched on to the conversation.
"Why are we here, sir?" Captain Carrot. With Commander Vimes. Nobby grinned. No doubt asking for a piece of 'fatherly' advice from the Commander, ahemahem, nudgenudgewinkwink. He leaned further forwards. This looked like a good'un, and he wanted to catch every word.
"I needed to talk to you, Carrot."
"We could have talked at the Yard, sir."
"Please, Carrot, you know it makes me uncomfortable when you call me 'sir' when we're not at work. Anyway, the, er, thing I want to talk to you about I couldn't say at the yard. You know what those devils are like for listening in to other people's conversations, you can't even think without someone nosing in." Ah. So he was wrong. Vimes wanted to talk to Carrot, not the other way around. Even more fascinating.
"Sorry, Sam. Force of habit. We could always go back to mine, if you want."
"Er, no, Carrot. Um, Angua will be there, won't she? And I'm sure she already suspects something."
"She couldn't suspect anything, I've been extremely careful."
"Carrot, she's a werewolf, she has a knack for discovering things that ordinary people couldn't discover."
"Most ordinary people couldn't discover anything if it bit them on the arse, sir."
"Carrot!"
"...Sam." Angua suspects something? Suspects what? Nobby edged closer to the sound of their voices. His grin grew wider. Whatever it was, it was bound to be good. Something to have a laugh with Fred over a couple of beers, maybe.
A silence passed between the two officers. Nobby crept forward another inch.
"So, Sam, what did you want to talk to me about?" asked Carrot.
"Um, well..." The Commander was uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. That was unusual. He was sometimes awkward due to his approach to his rank, often angry at someone or something or the world in general, but never actually uncomfortable. Nobby removed a dog-end from behind his ear and placed it in his mouth.
"You know you can tell me anything."
"I know, Carrot, it's just... well, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to say."
"Come on, sir. Just tell me."
"Um... you don't think what we're doing is wrong, do you?"
"Wrong? How can it be wrong? It's completely natural, isn't it?"
"Well, yes, but... I've got Sybil, you've got Angua, nearly everyone in this city knows me, everybody in the whole damn city knows you... Carrot, every day I'm scared to death that we're going to get found out!"
"How could we get found out? We've been careful."
"Damn you, Carrot! All it takes is for someone to look out of the window at the wrong time and we're deep in the shit." The Commander broke off and sighed. Nobby could hear him pacing. "And I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Everything. Nothing. I don't know, Carrot. I really don't know anymore." Nobby struck a match during the silence that followed.
"So you're breaking up with me?" There was but a single tremor in Carrot's voice that betrayed his emotion. Nobby froze, the hand with the match halfway to his mouth.
"No, I'm not saying that at all, Carrot. I... damn!"
"Just go ahead and say it, sir."
"...Sam," corrected Vimes. He paused, and took a deep breath.
"I love you, Carrot. And that's what makes everything so much more complicated."
"I love you too, Sam. Come on, let's go back to mine. Angua will have gone out to see Cheery, we can talk there."
Nobby stood stock-still as the footsteps echoed away, only remembering about the match in his hand when he burnt his fingers.
"Bloody hell!" he swore, dropping the match and sucking his fingers. Well, well, well. Carrot and the Commander. Who'd've thought it?
"Nobby?" The unmistakable sound of Fred Colon trying to be quiet echoed down the quiet street. Nobby stepped out of his hiding place.
"'M here, Sarge."
"Blimey, Nobby, you all right? You look as though you've seen a ghost."
"Sarge, you'll never believe what I just heard..."
~*To Be Continued*~
The credit for this goes to Jinxster, because after reading her wonderful stories I just knew I had to write a Carrot/Vimes fic. Thanks, love! :)
Disclaimer: Nope, it ain't mine. The plot, such as there is, belongs to me, but that's it really. I'm innocent, guv!
***
Corporal Nobbs was not doing much at all. He was slouched against a handy wall in between two shops having a quiet smoke and just generally skiving. More importantly, he was waiting for Fred Colon to appear so they could slope off to the Drum for a quick bevvy or two.
It had been a rather quiet day, really. An unlicensed robbery, which the Thieves Guild soon took care of, someone demanding justice against Mr Dibbler's sausages-inna-bun, and a suicide in the Shades (caused by unwise flaunting of gold on personage involved). All pretty normal, and Nobby was looking forward to a quiet drink, hopefully followed by a few very loud ones, before going home.
He slinked further into the shadows as he heard two pairs of footsteps approaching. He strained his ears as the footsteps stopped, and latched on to the conversation.
"Why are we here, sir?" Captain Carrot. With Commander Vimes. Nobby grinned. No doubt asking for a piece of 'fatherly' advice from the Commander, ahemahem, nudgenudgewinkwink. He leaned further forwards. This looked like a good'un, and he wanted to catch every word.
"I needed to talk to you, Carrot."
"We could have talked at the Yard, sir."
"Please, Carrot, you know it makes me uncomfortable when you call me 'sir' when we're not at work. Anyway, the, er, thing I want to talk to you about I couldn't say at the yard. You know what those devils are like for listening in to other people's conversations, you can't even think without someone nosing in." Ah. So he was wrong. Vimes wanted to talk to Carrot, not the other way around. Even more fascinating.
"Sorry, Sam. Force of habit. We could always go back to mine, if you want."
"Er, no, Carrot. Um, Angua will be there, won't she? And I'm sure she already suspects something."
"She couldn't suspect anything, I've been extremely careful."
"Carrot, she's a werewolf, she has a knack for discovering things that ordinary people couldn't discover."
"Most ordinary people couldn't discover anything if it bit them on the arse, sir."
"Carrot!"
"...Sam." Angua suspects something? Suspects what? Nobby edged closer to the sound of their voices. His grin grew wider. Whatever it was, it was bound to be good. Something to have a laugh with Fred over a couple of beers, maybe.
A silence passed between the two officers. Nobby crept forward another inch.
"So, Sam, what did you want to talk to me about?" asked Carrot.
"Um, well..." The Commander was uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. That was unusual. He was sometimes awkward due to his approach to his rank, often angry at someone or something or the world in general, but never actually uncomfortable. Nobby removed a dog-end from behind his ear and placed it in his mouth.
"You know you can tell me anything."
"I know, Carrot, it's just... well, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to say."
"Come on, sir. Just tell me."
"Um... you don't think what we're doing is wrong, do you?"
"Wrong? How can it be wrong? It's completely natural, isn't it?"
"Well, yes, but... I've got Sybil, you've got Angua, nearly everyone in this city knows me, everybody in the whole damn city knows you... Carrot, every day I'm scared to death that we're going to get found out!"
"How could we get found out? We've been careful."
"Damn you, Carrot! All it takes is for someone to look out of the window at the wrong time and we're deep in the shit." The Commander broke off and sighed. Nobby could hear him pacing. "And I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Everything. Nothing. I don't know, Carrot. I really don't know anymore." Nobby struck a match during the silence that followed.
"So you're breaking up with me?" There was but a single tremor in Carrot's voice that betrayed his emotion. Nobby froze, the hand with the match halfway to his mouth.
"No, I'm not saying that at all, Carrot. I... damn!"
"Just go ahead and say it, sir."
"...Sam," corrected Vimes. He paused, and took a deep breath.
"I love you, Carrot. And that's what makes everything so much more complicated."
"I love you too, Sam. Come on, let's go back to mine. Angua will have gone out to see Cheery, we can talk there."
Nobby stood stock-still as the footsteps echoed away, only remembering about the match in his hand when he burnt his fingers.
"Bloody hell!" he swore, dropping the match and sucking his fingers. Well, well, well. Carrot and the Commander. Who'd've thought it?
"Nobby?" The unmistakable sound of Fred Colon trying to be quiet echoed down the quiet street. Nobby stepped out of his hiding place.
"'M here, Sarge."
"Blimey, Nobby, you all right? You look as though you've seen a ghost."
"Sarge, you'll never believe what I just heard..."
~*To Be Continued*~