Here we go, the second chapter in my second Snape/Tanya story! -bows and runs off-
~~~
Hermione Granger walked briskly up a flight of stairs, chin held high but stomach churning with anxiety. How in Merlin's nose was she going to get Harry's cloak? It was an impossible situation. Impossible.
She said it out aloud to a sleepy nun in a portrait, just to prove her point.
"Impossible. The whole damned idea is impossible."
The nun blinked and stared at Hermione.
"Impossible!" she said louder, before marching on towards her common room.
Her bewilderment was probably the fault of softening her sharp eye somewhat, as she didn't see the blonde figure in a black cloak slink after her.
By now she was in the corridor where the Fat Lady resided; and had already made up a song about the impossibilities of the entire plan. It didn't rhyme much at all, but the tune was rather catchy.
"Snape is a dumbwit,
And a big bum
He wants Harry's cloak,
And I have to get it
Because,
He'll make me seem dumb
Which is very,
MEAN!"
Hermione nodded, satisfied with her song. Arriving at the Fat Lady, she hurriedly spoke the password ("Squilookel") and clambered inside.
The fair-haired person appeared at the painting a moment later, smirking. What a fool that mudblood was, not to mention insane.
"Squilookel," he said boldly and slipped inside.
Snape, several floors underneath Hermione, was pacing his office. You could almost hear his teeth gnashing in anger. It was easy to see why.
Tanya The Head was floating some inches below the rock ceiling, features set in a steely scowl. If she wasn't mostly invisible it could be seen that she was sitting on Snape's highest shelf, flinging some very expensive species of pickled animals splatting on the floor.
"TANYA!" Snape bellowed as his mutant four-legged fish which he was very fond of splattered all over his desk. "GET DOWN FROM THERE!!!"
Tanya shook her head and sent a pickled blue squirrel hurtling towards' Snape's face. "Only if you tell me who you love!" she demanded.
"NOBODY!"
"Then I am NOT coming down."
A lizard with fur landed with a soft squelch on Snape's shoulder. He snarled and brushed it off; well, half of it, anyway. The rest had fallen down his neck collar. With a cry, he proceeded to yell at Tanya.
Hermione, above them in the Gryffindor Common Room, walked slowly towards where Harry and Ron sat, hunched over their homework. Her hands were clenched into tight fists as she approached the two boys.
"Ah, Harry...?" she asked nervously. "I was wondering... well, hoping, if you'd..."
Ron narrowed his eyes at Harry, glancing from him to Hermione. She wasn't asking him to... no, she wouldn't... would she?
He gulped.
"Harry, I need your Invisibility Cloak," she said finally. Ron let out a very audible sigh of relief.
Harry frowned, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "...Why?" he asked, staring at her oh-so-obvious guilty face.
He didn't notice the person with hair so blonde it was silver slide into the Gryffindor common room- but Ron did.
"MALFOY!" he yelled, standing up. "What are you doing here?!"
Draco smirked, looking around the common room. "Lovely place. A bit... bright, isn't it?" he said, in the air of one commenting the weather.
He dropped into Hermione's usual seat, making himself comfortable.
Harry stared at Draco in astonishment, clenching his fists, then glanced at Hermione, who was looking dumbstruck. "Hermione!" he said loudly. "You let Malfoy in!"
Draco smiled. "Yes, very kind of you, Granger."
Ron took a step towards Draco, fighting to keep his face straight. "Get... out... Malfoy..." he growled.
Hermione grimaced, looking at Draco. "I... I didn't see him," she mumbled. "I guess I wasn't paying attention."
"No surprises there," Malfoy drawled, his pale face split into a malicious grin. "What do you expect from a mudblood like Granger?"
Ron gave a loud cry of fury and leaped at Draco, who looked suddenly terrified. He darted out of the way, backing away from Ron.
"Whoa, Weasle, calm down!" he stammered, holding his hands in front of him for defence.
It didn't work.
Ron pushed him roughly, and though he didn't fall, he lost his balance and landed in the table holding Harry and Ron's homework. 'In' being quite the right description.
The table's legs all snapped loudly, the actual surface of it splintered into thousands of shards and Draco fell amongst the wooden rubble, groaning.
Harry howled with horror as his potions essay, the one he had been working on for an entire month, was drenched in blue ink. Ruined.
Harry glared at Draco, mouthing some very obscene words, but his voice had left him. It was probably a good thing, too. He walked slowly towards Draco, as did Ron.
Both of them rolled back their sleeves. Their wands lay forgotten on the floor- they wouldn't need them this time.
Both emitting shouts, they launched themselves on Draco, features twisted in rage. Draco screamed.
"Stop it! Stop it, all of you!" shrieked Hermione, pulling Harry away from the medley. Ron automatically obeyed, leaving Draco with a bleeding lip and a bruised eye lying unconcious amongst the debris of the table. They all looked at eachother.
"Uh oh," mumbled Ron.
"'Uh oh' is certainly right!" Hermione said shrilly, pointing at Draco. "Look at him! He looks dead!"
Harry gave a half-hearted laugh. "Don't be an idiot, Hermione..." he said, reaching for Draco's pulse. "He'll be perfectly-"
He stopped talking suddenly, all colour draining from his face. "Hermione," he said quietly. "Check his pulse. I can't seem to do it right; I can't feel anything."
Hermione stared at Harry. So did Ron. Both of them looked terrified. "What?" Ron squeaked. "What do you mean, you can't feel anything? Of course you can!"
Harry stared blankly at them.
At that moment, Ginny bounded down the stairs from the girl's dormitories. She stopped when she saw Draco, gaping.
"PERCY!" she screeched, eyes popping from her face. "IT'S MALFOY! RON KILLED MALFOY!"
Harry gave her a feirce glare and she immediately shut up. "He's not dead," Harry said firmly. "We only knocked him out. He's okay."
Hermione, holding Draco's wrist, whimpered softly.
"He -is- okay, right, Hermione?" Ron asked slowly. "He's just unconcious. Nothing to worry about." Ron's voice was strangely high-pitched.
Hermione burst into tears and flung her arms around Ron, bawling into his shoulder.
"He's DEAD!"
Meanwhile, Tanya had ceased throwing pickled animals around and had decided to fall asleep on the shelf. Snape was staring at his grandfather clock, mind broiling. Granger was half-an-hour late. If she didn't get him the invisibility cloak, he'd have to take a floating head into Diagon Alley and scare the living daylights out of people. Not to mention, he'd probably be sacked for letting a student into his potion stores. He was seriously in a pickle now.
Tanya gave a loud snort. "Sevvy," she mumbled in her sleep. "Your nose is so purdy..."
Snape frowned irritably. It was time to find that Granger.
He slipped silently out of his office, trusting Tanya's slumber would continue.
It didn't. The moment Snape stepped out of the room, Tanya jerked awake, sniffling. "Sevvy...?" she whined. Oh, no! He wasn't there!
Clambering down off the shelf, Tanya stumbled out of the office and into the corridor. Her Sevvy wasn't anywhere in sight. Oh well! She'd just go and have a look for him.
Entirely forgetting that she was invisible, Tanya raced towards the Great Hall.
"Heave!" grunted Ron as they dragged the surprisingly very heavy body of Draco down the corridor. So far they had managed to get Draco about ten meters away from the Fat Lady. If they weren't seen, they could probably keep it up until they reached the kitchen. He'd never be found there.
Hermione mentally told herself not to eat any chicken for the next week.
After what seemed like hours, they finally reached a portrait of a bowl of fruit. Harry wearily reached up and tickled the pear, which squirmed as the picture swung open.
Ginny made several loud "Ooooh!"'s and "Aaaah!"'s. She had never been in the kitchen before. Stepping inside first, she squealed in delight at the mass of house elves congregating around them, pushing peices of food into their hands.
"Eat! Eating is good, sirs and ladies!" they squeaked.
Then Draco was heaved in and they fell suddenly silent.
One of the house elves pointed a long finger at the still form. "That there is Dobby's master, it is! Dobby shoulds help him, he should!" she squeaked.
Harry bit his lip. "No, he isn't. He's what you're going to have to make for dinner tonight."
The house-elves looked horrified.
Hermione and Ginny both burst into tears and Ron went so pale his freckles almost popped out of his face. "Yech... roasted Malfoy."
Hermione hit him hard on the shoulder.
Harry shrugged. "I don't want to go to Azkaban," he said simply. Ginny stared at him. He stared back. She took a step closer. So did Harry.
Ron and Hermione saw a very oddly-dressed house-elf they instantly recognised as Dobby and hurried over to him while Harry and Ginny leapt on eachother behind them. Most of the house elves looked away in disgust.
"Dobby," whispered Hermione, wiping tears away from her cheeks. "Listen- you can't tell anyone that your old master's son is dead- alright? We'll go to Azkaban if you do."
Dobby stared at them both, nodding mutely. "Yes sirs! Ah, lady!" he said.
"Good," Hermione and Ron said in unison, giving Dobby a look of trust before walking over to Ginny and Harry, who were french-kissing.
"C'mon," Ron muttered, yanking Harry and Ginny off eachother. "Let's go."
"Okay," breathed Ginny, a dreamy smile on her face. Hermione scowled in disgust.
The four Gryffindors exited the kitchen, leaving an apparently dead Draco Malfoy behind them.
Tanya The Head sauntered along the halls, whistling loudly. Several portraits stared in shock at her as she passed.
She had to find her Sevvy. He'd be in the Great Hall; she could feel it in her heart. She always did have a gift for phsycic abilities.
She burst into the massive eating chamber, grinning. Snape wasn't there. Her face fell, as did about ten students in a dead faint.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" went the rest of them, running around hysterically.
She stared at them innocently. "What's the matter? It looks like you've just seen a headless ghost."
Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington huffed angrily as he passed, then glanced back, a look of shock on his transperant face. "Oh my!" he cried, shooting away from her through the wall.
Tanya suddenly burst out laughing when she looked at her hand.
"Oh, sorry! I'll go somewhere else!" she yelled, still chuckling, and left the Great Hall. Oops, Sevvy wasn't going to be happy.
She trotted down to the dungeon corridors once more, glancing about, eyes narrowed in thought. Suddenly a lightbulb switched on in her brain.
His sleeping chambers!!!
Snape was wandering the second-floor corridors, a deep sneer staining his sallow face. Where was that darn Hermione Granger? He had to find her!
Suddenly, he heard what sounded like half the school screaming in terror and storming down the corridor towards him away from a floating severed head.
It was, actually, half the school screaming in terror and storming down the corridor towards him away from a floating severed head. He froze.
About four-hundred pupils burst from around the corner, each face showing an identical expression of fear. Just as they thundered upon him, knocking him to the ground and trampling him like girls chasing Tom Felton over an innocent bystander, one dull thought drifted to his mind.
I AM GOING TO -MURDER- THAT TANYA!!!!!
Then everything went black.
-TO BE CONTINUED- AGAIN-
WHAT'S TO (POSSIBLY) COME:
Uh oh- 'chicken' is served for dinner and three people are missing from the feast. Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape and that girl who nobody knows but loves anyway- Tanya. :P
Harry Potter and his team are suddenly overcome by guilt, staring at the food in front of them and seeing Draco saying "Please don't eeeeaaaaat meeeee..." in a very lamb-ish voice for some reason. Yes, more is to come- but you'll have to review or I won't be stuffed wasting my time typing an entirely new chapter if nobody likes it. -eye twitches-
~~~
Hermione Granger walked briskly up a flight of stairs, chin held high but stomach churning with anxiety. How in Merlin's nose was she going to get Harry's cloak? It was an impossible situation. Impossible.
She said it out aloud to a sleepy nun in a portrait, just to prove her point.
"Impossible. The whole damned idea is impossible."
The nun blinked and stared at Hermione.
"Impossible!" she said louder, before marching on towards her common room.
Her bewilderment was probably the fault of softening her sharp eye somewhat, as she didn't see the blonde figure in a black cloak slink after her.
By now she was in the corridor where the Fat Lady resided; and had already made up a song about the impossibilities of the entire plan. It didn't rhyme much at all, but the tune was rather catchy.
"Snape is a dumbwit,
And a big bum
He wants Harry's cloak,
And I have to get it
Because,
He'll make me seem dumb
Which is very,
MEAN!"
Hermione nodded, satisfied with her song. Arriving at the Fat Lady, she hurriedly spoke the password ("Squilookel") and clambered inside.
The fair-haired person appeared at the painting a moment later, smirking. What a fool that mudblood was, not to mention insane.
"Squilookel," he said boldly and slipped inside.
Snape, several floors underneath Hermione, was pacing his office. You could almost hear his teeth gnashing in anger. It was easy to see why.
Tanya The Head was floating some inches below the rock ceiling, features set in a steely scowl. If she wasn't mostly invisible it could be seen that she was sitting on Snape's highest shelf, flinging some very expensive species of pickled animals splatting on the floor.
"TANYA!" Snape bellowed as his mutant four-legged fish which he was very fond of splattered all over his desk. "GET DOWN FROM THERE!!!"
Tanya shook her head and sent a pickled blue squirrel hurtling towards' Snape's face. "Only if you tell me who you love!" she demanded.
"NOBODY!"
"Then I am NOT coming down."
A lizard with fur landed with a soft squelch on Snape's shoulder. He snarled and brushed it off; well, half of it, anyway. The rest had fallen down his neck collar. With a cry, he proceeded to yell at Tanya.
Hermione, above them in the Gryffindor Common Room, walked slowly towards where Harry and Ron sat, hunched over their homework. Her hands were clenched into tight fists as she approached the two boys.
"Ah, Harry...?" she asked nervously. "I was wondering... well, hoping, if you'd..."
Ron narrowed his eyes at Harry, glancing from him to Hermione. She wasn't asking him to... no, she wouldn't... would she?
He gulped.
"Harry, I need your Invisibility Cloak," she said finally. Ron let out a very audible sigh of relief.
Harry frowned, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "...Why?" he asked, staring at her oh-so-obvious guilty face.
He didn't notice the person with hair so blonde it was silver slide into the Gryffindor common room- but Ron did.
"MALFOY!" he yelled, standing up. "What are you doing here?!"
Draco smirked, looking around the common room. "Lovely place. A bit... bright, isn't it?" he said, in the air of one commenting the weather.
He dropped into Hermione's usual seat, making himself comfortable.
Harry stared at Draco in astonishment, clenching his fists, then glanced at Hermione, who was looking dumbstruck. "Hermione!" he said loudly. "You let Malfoy in!"
Draco smiled. "Yes, very kind of you, Granger."
Ron took a step towards Draco, fighting to keep his face straight. "Get... out... Malfoy..." he growled.
Hermione grimaced, looking at Draco. "I... I didn't see him," she mumbled. "I guess I wasn't paying attention."
"No surprises there," Malfoy drawled, his pale face split into a malicious grin. "What do you expect from a mudblood like Granger?"
Ron gave a loud cry of fury and leaped at Draco, who looked suddenly terrified. He darted out of the way, backing away from Ron.
"Whoa, Weasle, calm down!" he stammered, holding his hands in front of him for defence.
It didn't work.
Ron pushed him roughly, and though he didn't fall, he lost his balance and landed in the table holding Harry and Ron's homework. 'In' being quite the right description.
The table's legs all snapped loudly, the actual surface of it splintered into thousands of shards and Draco fell amongst the wooden rubble, groaning.
Harry howled with horror as his potions essay, the one he had been working on for an entire month, was drenched in blue ink. Ruined.
Harry glared at Draco, mouthing some very obscene words, but his voice had left him. It was probably a good thing, too. He walked slowly towards Draco, as did Ron.
Both of them rolled back their sleeves. Their wands lay forgotten on the floor- they wouldn't need them this time.
Both emitting shouts, they launched themselves on Draco, features twisted in rage. Draco screamed.
"Stop it! Stop it, all of you!" shrieked Hermione, pulling Harry away from the medley. Ron automatically obeyed, leaving Draco with a bleeding lip and a bruised eye lying unconcious amongst the debris of the table. They all looked at eachother.
"Uh oh," mumbled Ron.
"'Uh oh' is certainly right!" Hermione said shrilly, pointing at Draco. "Look at him! He looks dead!"
Harry gave a half-hearted laugh. "Don't be an idiot, Hermione..." he said, reaching for Draco's pulse. "He'll be perfectly-"
He stopped talking suddenly, all colour draining from his face. "Hermione," he said quietly. "Check his pulse. I can't seem to do it right; I can't feel anything."
Hermione stared at Harry. So did Ron. Both of them looked terrified. "What?" Ron squeaked. "What do you mean, you can't feel anything? Of course you can!"
Harry stared blankly at them.
At that moment, Ginny bounded down the stairs from the girl's dormitories. She stopped when she saw Draco, gaping.
"PERCY!" she screeched, eyes popping from her face. "IT'S MALFOY! RON KILLED MALFOY!"
Harry gave her a feirce glare and she immediately shut up. "He's not dead," Harry said firmly. "We only knocked him out. He's okay."
Hermione, holding Draco's wrist, whimpered softly.
"He -is- okay, right, Hermione?" Ron asked slowly. "He's just unconcious. Nothing to worry about." Ron's voice was strangely high-pitched.
Hermione burst into tears and flung her arms around Ron, bawling into his shoulder.
"He's DEAD!"
Meanwhile, Tanya had ceased throwing pickled animals around and had decided to fall asleep on the shelf. Snape was staring at his grandfather clock, mind broiling. Granger was half-an-hour late. If she didn't get him the invisibility cloak, he'd have to take a floating head into Diagon Alley and scare the living daylights out of people. Not to mention, he'd probably be sacked for letting a student into his potion stores. He was seriously in a pickle now.
Tanya gave a loud snort. "Sevvy," she mumbled in her sleep. "Your nose is so purdy..."
Snape frowned irritably. It was time to find that Granger.
He slipped silently out of his office, trusting Tanya's slumber would continue.
It didn't. The moment Snape stepped out of the room, Tanya jerked awake, sniffling. "Sevvy...?" she whined. Oh, no! He wasn't there!
Clambering down off the shelf, Tanya stumbled out of the office and into the corridor. Her Sevvy wasn't anywhere in sight. Oh well! She'd just go and have a look for him.
Entirely forgetting that she was invisible, Tanya raced towards the Great Hall.
"Heave!" grunted Ron as they dragged the surprisingly very heavy body of Draco down the corridor. So far they had managed to get Draco about ten meters away from the Fat Lady. If they weren't seen, they could probably keep it up until they reached the kitchen. He'd never be found there.
Hermione mentally told herself not to eat any chicken for the next week.
After what seemed like hours, they finally reached a portrait of a bowl of fruit. Harry wearily reached up and tickled the pear, which squirmed as the picture swung open.
Ginny made several loud "Ooooh!"'s and "Aaaah!"'s. She had never been in the kitchen before. Stepping inside first, she squealed in delight at the mass of house elves congregating around them, pushing peices of food into their hands.
"Eat! Eating is good, sirs and ladies!" they squeaked.
Then Draco was heaved in and they fell suddenly silent.
One of the house elves pointed a long finger at the still form. "That there is Dobby's master, it is! Dobby shoulds help him, he should!" she squeaked.
Harry bit his lip. "No, he isn't. He's what you're going to have to make for dinner tonight."
The house-elves looked horrified.
Hermione and Ginny both burst into tears and Ron went so pale his freckles almost popped out of his face. "Yech... roasted Malfoy."
Hermione hit him hard on the shoulder.
Harry shrugged. "I don't want to go to Azkaban," he said simply. Ginny stared at him. He stared back. She took a step closer. So did Harry.
Ron and Hermione saw a very oddly-dressed house-elf they instantly recognised as Dobby and hurried over to him while Harry and Ginny leapt on eachother behind them. Most of the house elves looked away in disgust.
"Dobby," whispered Hermione, wiping tears away from her cheeks. "Listen- you can't tell anyone that your old master's son is dead- alright? We'll go to Azkaban if you do."
Dobby stared at them both, nodding mutely. "Yes sirs! Ah, lady!" he said.
"Good," Hermione and Ron said in unison, giving Dobby a look of trust before walking over to Ginny and Harry, who were french-kissing.
"C'mon," Ron muttered, yanking Harry and Ginny off eachother. "Let's go."
"Okay," breathed Ginny, a dreamy smile on her face. Hermione scowled in disgust.
The four Gryffindors exited the kitchen, leaving an apparently dead Draco Malfoy behind them.
Tanya The Head sauntered along the halls, whistling loudly. Several portraits stared in shock at her as she passed.
She had to find her Sevvy. He'd be in the Great Hall; she could feel it in her heart. She always did have a gift for phsycic abilities.
She burst into the massive eating chamber, grinning. Snape wasn't there. Her face fell, as did about ten students in a dead faint.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" went the rest of them, running around hysterically.
She stared at them innocently. "What's the matter? It looks like you've just seen a headless ghost."
Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington huffed angrily as he passed, then glanced back, a look of shock on his transperant face. "Oh my!" he cried, shooting away from her through the wall.
Tanya suddenly burst out laughing when she looked at her hand.
"Oh, sorry! I'll go somewhere else!" she yelled, still chuckling, and left the Great Hall. Oops, Sevvy wasn't going to be happy.
She trotted down to the dungeon corridors once more, glancing about, eyes narrowed in thought. Suddenly a lightbulb switched on in her brain.
His sleeping chambers!!!
Snape was wandering the second-floor corridors, a deep sneer staining his sallow face. Where was that darn Hermione Granger? He had to find her!
Suddenly, he heard what sounded like half the school screaming in terror and storming down the corridor towards him away from a floating severed head.
It was, actually, half the school screaming in terror and storming down the corridor towards him away from a floating severed head. He froze.
About four-hundred pupils burst from around the corner, each face showing an identical expression of fear. Just as they thundered upon him, knocking him to the ground and trampling him like girls chasing Tom Felton over an innocent bystander, one dull thought drifted to his mind.
I AM GOING TO -MURDER- THAT TANYA!!!!!
Then everything went black.
-TO BE CONTINUED- AGAIN-
WHAT'S TO (POSSIBLY) COME:
Uh oh- 'chicken' is served for dinner and three people are missing from the feast. Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape and that girl who nobody knows but loves anyway- Tanya. :P
Harry Potter and his team are suddenly overcome by guilt, staring at the food in front of them and seeing Draco saying "Please don't eeeeaaaaat meeeee..." in a very lamb-ish voice for some reason. Yes, more is to come- but you'll have to review or I won't be stuffed wasting my time typing an entirely new chapter if nobody likes it. -eye twitches-