Title: Unique Personified 1/1

Author: Princess Twilite (Princesstwilite2@aol.com)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Stars Hollow with Taylor. "I hate this town." Slash.

Warnings: slash inside.

Disclaimer: Taylor is NOT mine.

Distribution: Hey, you want this? You take this. Just tell me that you have it.

Website: http://shippersunited.com/whip | http://livejournal.com/~princesstwilite

Feedback: Please sir, I want some more.

Flames: Yes, if you are a fool. Because how much of an idiot are you? Yes that was sarcasm - good boy.

A/N: Because I like these smaller characters and I like them to have secrets and pasts.

~*~*~*~

"I am the ultra-modern version of the American Man." - I'm Nuthin' by Ethan Hawke ~*~*~*~

There are things I love and things I hate.

I love my bed and hate my life.

"Oh Taylor!" I cringe, but stop and smile pleasantly.

I love chocolate and I hate Patty.

Patty. How. why, yes Patty, I did dye my hair. Thank you for noticing that it had gone gray. What? Oh yes, I would love to sing in the festival with you. What a lovely thought. Really.

I'm sure the town would love to hold another dance contest.

I'm sure I won't fall asleep this time.

Yes.

Thank you. Kill me now.

Yes.

Goodbye Patty, do have a good day.

And please do not EVER touch my arm like that again.

I try.

Really, I do.

There is always so much to do, with the meetings and weddings and babies to kiss. Or try to kiss; the mother's don't really seem to like me very much.

I'm okay with that.

Really, I am.

It's not like I gave anything up to be this man.

I love rain on Sunday and I hate gossip.

Every town has its team spirit, it just so happens I've gotten stuck with the job. In high school, I certainly wasn't this person. But don't remind them or they might start suspecting my biggest secret.

I hate this town.

I hate the little brats that run around sleeping together like they're on Dawson's Creek.

I hate Luke's smug smirk and I hate Lorelai's sarcasm.

I hate Patty's dance studio and I hate Kirk's cat.

Just once I'd like to shock them, stand up and say: You know what? This town can go to hell for all I care!

But I can't. Because it WILL if I don't at least ACT like I care and it's my responsibility to give a damn what happens here.

No one else wanted the job. No one cared what I wanted.

So I'm stuck with it.

~*~*~*~

I was in love once, or close to it.

His name was Charlie.

Yes, HIS. Keyword: Was.

I wouldn't come out of the closet. Not even with my big toe.

He wouldn't stay in Stars Hollow.

I still loved the town then, I still thought it'd make a difference if SOMEONE cared enough to nag the angry Diner Man about not putting up any decorations. If maybe someone brought a little progress into this small community, I thought they'd 'hail Taylor' and finally, finally let me have something that *I* wanted. I didn't begrudge them, not yet.

It was Charlie's leaving that ruined it all for me.

Three O' Clock in the morning when the snow wasn't falling and the sun wasn't shining. There was nothing quaint or precious about these last images of him. He was wearing a faded blue jean jacket with its pocket torn off and a patch sown into its place. Charlie glared at me, done with it all and I KNEW it was over.

And he was angry, so angry that he was stomping his feet in his big combat shoes that were never tied enough to STAY tied. He yelled and ranted, throwing his arms around like he expected me to catch them.

I stayed still, sullen. And stared.

When he grabbed his big old army bag and threw it over his shoulder, expecting me to stop him -- I couldn't.

Because there was only one way and that was to stand up in the middle of the town and say to everyone that I was gay. And that HE, Charlie, was my lover and always would be because we were in love.

But how could I do that? HOW?

They thought I was something that I was not and I COULDN'T do that.

He looked at me one last time with his dark, un-kept hair falling into his eyes. Those eyes said so many things to me but mostly that I was a coward.

He was right.

Charlie left, tossed his bag into the back of his pick up truck and slammed the driver-side door behind him. He didn't wave as he left, the tires didn't squeal, nothing-not even tire tracks or the smell of burnt rubber to remember him by.

All I did was watch, standing on the side-walk with my sweaty hands shoved into my suit pants. The fabric scratched the back of my palms and the moon looked down at me through the trees, shaking her solemn, sliver head.

Three O' Clock in the morning went by fast in times like these. Day came before I could understand the concept of light after such pain. I got undressed and changed my clothes, carefully combed my hair back on my head and straightened my tie.

The mirror stared back at me, reflecting a man with nothing to care about.

Angst, thy name is Taylor.

And when I met people on the street that day, I was extra-exuberant. They stared at me like I was an odd insect and I wanted to choke them.

"Good morning Patty."

Fuck you, Patty.

Not that they would ever know, mind you. Just what I had given up to be this man to them. If the did, maybe they would come to respect me, just a little. Maybe Luke wouldn't give me such a hard time about the smaller things and maybe Kirk would stop hanging on me like a lackey.

Maybe they would understand just how badly I regret all of it.

Not that they would ever know that I hate myself as much as THEY hate ME.

~*~*~*~

I once heard that Charlie became a fisherman.

He was always doing crazy, non-sense things like that.

The town had of course wondered about our friendship because it hadn't made much sense. He was a little wild and I was a little NOT. I was quiet, far from out going. I was the nerdy boy reading about life instead of doing. I'm still that boy. Nothing unique or special about me - I just haunt the edges of this town and this life. *I'm* nothing, just that guy your mommy doesn't really care for because I made her trim her lawn.

And they don't wonder anymore, that was all a very long time ago and I'd never been very good a fishing.

Occasionally I find myself relating to Luke, secretly. When Rachel ran off on him time and again and he would just stand there, letting her go -- I understood. There are some towns that are like a black hole. This was one of them. And our lovers never could accept that.

Then Luke found Lorelai to love if not be loved by and I couldn't relate, so I just hated him a little. I was okay with that.

The next thing I managed to learn about him, he'd run off to Mexico and no one had ever heard from him again. Sometimes I think about buying one of those Sombreros and chasing him down.

But that isn't happening. Not now, not then, not ever. My hair has gotten gray. My waist has gotten wider. A lot of things have changed. But one thing hasn't.

I live in Stars Hollow.

And I hate every damn thing about it.

~*~*~*~

THE END 1/1

A/N: Odd yes, but normal is so. well, not me.