Ele: We don't own Lord of the Rings.
Kala: But we really wish we did.
Nare: It's on our wish list!
Lorien: WOOF! (Translation: So don't sue us!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Malving was currently glaring at the three she-elves. "What happened?"
"Well, uncle-"
"You see,"
"There were these three elves,"
"And they were TOTAL jerks!"
"Honest!"
"Andtheykindofinsultedussowebeatthemupandwe'rejustgoingtogotothesparingfield nowbye!" Kala gasped out the last sentence and the three girls shot past the older elves, scooping up their bags on the way.
Malving stared at them and then turned to his wife. "What happened?"
Malquessa sighed. "Apparently they've beat up three elves that insulted them and they are now heading for the sparring field. However, dear husband, that is not what concerns me. I find it odd that you KNEW they were going to leave the party. You KNEW they had sparring clothes on under the dresses. You KNEW that they brought their daggers to the party." She advanced on her husband and punctuated each sentence with a poke to his chest.
Malving backed up helplessly " Sweetheart, be reasonable, they are miserable at parties. They are much happier on the sparring field. They take pride in being valued for their abilities rather than just a pretty face. It would be cruel to force them to stay."
Malquessa seemed to be considering this. "This is true. But do you have an explanation as to why they just told us they beat up three elves?"
"They beat up the elves because one of them accused Elenmir of lying in order to impress him."
Malving and Malquessa turned around to see Haldir standing there. The blonde elf smiled. "If I overheard correctly, one of them asked Elenmir if she had done any interesting needlework lately and when she said that she preferred fighting, he laughed at her and said that women were not strong enough to fight."
Malquessa winced. That explained a lot. Ele had worked hard to be accepted in the Lorien guard. She was proud of her accomplishment and to be accused of lying about it would have infuriated her. She pitied the poor elves.
*~*~*~*
Ele balanced on the fence surrounding the sparring field and then carefully back flipped off it. She landed squarely on her feet and then turned to Nare and Kala. "TA-DA!" she said.
Nare raised an eyebrow. "Excellent. I applaud your acrobatics. But did you happen to notice what was on the fence two inches away from your hand?"
Ele turned back to the fence. A fuzzy little caterpillar was inching its way along the stones. Ele paled and then backed away. "T..t..t.that was on the fence?"
Kala looked puzzled. "Yes."
Ele shrieked and backed away quickly. She shoved Kala in front of her. "KILL IT!" she cried.
Kala turned back to Ele. "Its only a caterpillar"
Ele's eyes were wide with fright. "Only a caterpillar?" she hissed. "ONLY A CATERPILLAR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! I HATE CATERPILLARS!"
Kala tried to hide a smile. "Why?"
Ele shuddered. "Ooh, don't want to say. I've tried to repress the memories."
Nare smirked. "When we were VERY young, Ele and I were playing and she accidentally fell on one and squished it. She was not very happy. I thought it was funny."
Ele glared at Nare. "Thank you, you just undid years of work. Now I've got to repress the memories all over again."
Nare smiled cheerfully. "No problem."
Kala laughed and walked over to the caterpillar. "Its just a harmless little baby butterfly. Think of it like that Ele." She bent down and examined the caterpillar.
Ele shook her head. "When it's a harmless little ADULT butterfly then I'll be ok with it. In the meantime I'm keeping as much difference between it and me as possible."
"Oh come now, is that anyway for a member of the Lorien guard to behave?" Haldir stepped out from behind a tree and smiled at the three girls. " 'tis only a little caterpillar."
Ele peeped out from behind Kala. "It's a disgusting worm that's out to get me and nothing less!"
Haldir rolled his eyes, "Nice to know that I have such a brave elf on my guard."
Ele stuck her tongue out at him. "Well then, what does that say for the person that allowed me to join?"
Haldir sighed. "Ok, I'll drop it. I was wondering if you three would come and help train some newbies to the guard. I think it would be..educational for them."
Ele glanced at Kala and Nare and then nodded. "We'd love to."
Haldir smiled and his eyes twinkled. "Wonderful. We're meeting here at dawn."
Nare looked horrified. "You expect a bunch of newbies to be able to train the night after a summer festival?"
Kala sighed. "A bunch of hung-over elves with sharp objects. Can it get any better?" she said sarcastically
Ele snickered and scooped up Lorien. "At least it will be fun!"
*~*
The next morning the three girls gathered on the sparring field awaiting Haldir and the new recruits. Ele was playing with Lorien, waving a strip of cloth in front of him, and laughing hysterically as he grabbed it with his sharp baby teeth and growled his little baby growl.
Kala and Nare sat on the fence cooing over the baby wolf.
"Look at that!"
"Isn't he adorable? Listen to that little growl!"
"He such a tough widdle puppy isn't he?"
Lorien abruptly quit playing with the piece of cloth and sat down. His mouth opened wide in a yawn and he waddled over to Ele and climbed into her lap. He blinked a few times and then curled up and closed his eyes. All three she-elves let out an "Awwwwwwww." Lorien raised his head and blinked sleepily at them.
"Oh no! We woke him up!"
"I'm so sorry Lorien!"
"We won't do that again"
"Do you forgive us?"
Evidently Lorien was not the type to hold grudges because he smiled a big doggy grin and his tail wagged furiously. He cast an adoring look over the three girls and drifted back off to sleep. Ele carefully got to her feet and placed the little cub in his basket that was sitting near the fence. Lorien snuggled down into the soft blankets and rooted around in the basket until he came up with 'his' special little toy, a battered stuffed orc that the girls had dubbed "Uruk." Uncle Malving had made Lorien the toy after the little wolf cub had reduced a pair of his boots to shreds. Lorien loved "Uruk" and dragged it after him everywhere. Ele snickered as Lorien chomped on the little toy in his sleep, growling as he did so.
Ele flopped down on the grass and stared at the sky. "When are they going to get here? Its not nice to be late."
Kala raised an eyebrow, "This from the elf that would be late to everything if not for her friends and family dragging her out the door?"
Ele smiled. "But I'm never late am I?"
Nare laughed. "She has a point."
Ele hopped up and brushed herself off. "I hate waiting. Waiting is boring."
"Then be bored no more!" Kala pointed, "Here's Haldir and the newbies!"
Haldir was leading three sullen elves, as they got closer their faces became more distinct and Ele gasped. "It couldn't be!"
Kala's mouth was hanging open. "It is!"
Nare was on the ground laughing. "It's the three elves from last night! Haldir wants us to teach the three elves that we beat up last night!"
Ele giggled, "Methinks Haldir has a bit of a sadistic streak in him."
Kala nodded "Aye, but I don't think I'll mention it this one time."
The elves started when they noticed the three she-elves waiting for them on the sparring field. Haldir smiled, "Meet your teachers."
The three elves gasped and turned to Haldir, "WHAT? FEMALES TEACH US?"
Haldir's smiled turned cold. "Those females beat you easily last night. Elenmir is the best hand-to-hand fighter on the Lorien guard, Kalamir is the one that taught Elenmir and Naremir served on the Rivendell guard, it would behoove you to learn from them. Gender does not matter in terms of ability. Determination and willingness to learn is what makes a warrior."
The three elves snorted and glared at Ele and company. Ele smiled sweetly. "Gentlemen-and I use that in the loosest sense of the word, shall we begin?
The one that had been talking to Ele the night before glared. "As you wish Milady-and I use that in the loosest sense of the word."
Ele smirked. "Ooooh, a witty one." She gestured for the elf to enter the sparring ring. Kala and Nare perched on the fence, sitting in between the other two elves.
Kala leaned over to the elf on her right. "This should be good. Ele is a wonderful fighter." She grinned evilly at the elf.
Ele stood in the center of the ring and bowed at the elf. She held her two daggers loosely in her hands and appeared to be totally relaxed. " Now, Galad, I shall let you strike first."
Galad smirked and advanced on the she-elf. Ele stared at him, unblinking. He swung a dagger at her and found, to his surprise that Ele wasn't there anymore. He whirled around and found Ele standing behind him with that same unblinking stare fixed on him. He growled and leaped forward expecting a block from her. Ele smiled and flipped over his head, landing behind him once more.
Nare leaned over to the other elf. "Ele has been studying acrobatics since she was an elfling. Aunt Malquessa was trying to get her mind off learning to fight. It didn't work since she ended up incorporating the flips into her fighting style."
Galad scowled at Ele. "Running scared she-elf?" Ele said nothing but held up a dagger and waved it teasingly at Galad. He rushed forward quickly, trying to keep her from flipping away from him. At the moment Ele dropped into a crouch and swept her leg out, knocking Galad off his feet. He hit the ground with an "OOF" and looked up to see Ele standing beside him.
"Lesson one, Irritated people do not think clearly. Why did you rush up on me? That was stupid. Don't do that." She backed away and waved her hand at him. "Come on. Get up." Galad got to his feet and shot a death glare at Ele. She waved him forward once more and he slowly began to circle her, daggers held out in front. She laughed and waved the dagger at him again, tossing her hair over her shoulder. He tried to kick out at her but she ducked and knocked his leg out from under him again. Galad landed on his back and tried to blink away the stars in front of his vision. Ele leaned down. "Tsk Tsk Tsk. Still not thinking clearly. Lesson two, don't let your opponent irritate you!" she waved him to his feet and backed away laughing. "Block out all the distractions. Concentrate on beating me. Not on what I'm doing or saying."
Kala leaned over to the elf sitting next to her. "If he was smart, he wouldn't pay any attention to Ele, that's one of her tricks, she teases her opponent mercilessly, you see if you are angry you tend to get carel-oooh!" Kala winced as Galad hit the ground again with a particularly nasty sounding thud and then continued with her commentary. "anyway, you tend to get careless and slip up which leaves an opening for---Ow, that looked like that hurt-your opponent to slip in and attack."
Nare nodded from the other side of Kala. "She does it particularly well too! I remember this one time where she beat an elf three times her size, she walked onto the field and ---oh he's going to feel that later on!- actually asked what a dagger was! That elf was furious! He thought he was being mocked-OUCH, wouldn't want that to happen to me-and Ele managed to beat him within a minute. Never underestimate a female fighter. We aren't as strong as you are so we must improvise." Nare shook her head sympathetically as Galad hit the ground with a groan and stayed down.
Ele smiled and leaned over Galad. "Lesson forty three. Gravity can be an enemy or a friend. Pay attention to the placement of rocks if you do not want it as an enemy." Galad snarled at Ele and lunged at her-only to find himself staring into the angry eyes of a baby wolf.
Lorien snarled back at Galad, showing his little baby teeth. Fury shown in his dark brown eyes. NO ONE messes with my Ele! he thought. He slowly backed up making sure he stayed in front of Ele the entire time. Galad slowly stood and Lorien barked at him and stepped forward, his coal black fur stood on end and he growled as threateningly as a tiny wolf cub can.
Ele cooed and scooped Lorien up in her arms. "Aw, isn't that adorable? He wants to protect me! He's such a brave little puppy! Aren't you?" she cuddled Lorien close to her and nodded to Galad. "Good job, Galad. You show potential." Lorien offered a final snarl from Ele's arms. Ele strolled over to Kala. "Your turn" she said as she grinned at the elf sitting beside Kala.
Kala: But we really wish we did.
Nare: It's on our wish list!
Lorien: WOOF! (Translation: So don't sue us!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Malving was currently glaring at the three she-elves. "What happened?"
"Well, uncle-"
"You see,"
"There were these three elves,"
"And they were TOTAL jerks!"
"Honest!"
"Andtheykindofinsultedussowebeatthemupandwe'rejustgoingtogotothesparingfield nowbye!" Kala gasped out the last sentence and the three girls shot past the older elves, scooping up their bags on the way.
Malving stared at them and then turned to his wife. "What happened?"
Malquessa sighed. "Apparently they've beat up three elves that insulted them and they are now heading for the sparring field. However, dear husband, that is not what concerns me. I find it odd that you KNEW they were going to leave the party. You KNEW they had sparring clothes on under the dresses. You KNEW that they brought their daggers to the party." She advanced on her husband and punctuated each sentence with a poke to his chest.
Malving backed up helplessly " Sweetheart, be reasonable, they are miserable at parties. They are much happier on the sparring field. They take pride in being valued for their abilities rather than just a pretty face. It would be cruel to force them to stay."
Malquessa seemed to be considering this. "This is true. But do you have an explanation as to why they just told us they beat up three elves?"
"They beat up the elves because one of them accused Elenmir of lying in order to impress him."
Malving and Malquessa turned around to see Haldir standing there. The blonde elf smiled. "If I overheard correctly, one of them asked Elenmir if she had done any interesting needlework lately and when she said that she preferred fighting, he laughed at her and said that women were not strong enough to fight."
Malquessa winced. That explained a lot. Ele had worked hard to be accepted in the Lorien guard. She was proud of her accomplishment and to be accused of lying about it would have infuriated her. She pitied the poor elves.
*~*~*~*
Ele balanced on the fence surrounding the sparring field and then carefully back flipped off it. She landed squarely on her feet and then turned to Nare and Kala. "TA-DA!" she said.
Nare raised an eyebrow. "Excellent. I applaud your acrobatics. But did you happen to notice what was on the fence two inches away from your hand?"
Ele turned back to the fence. A fuzzy little caterpillar was inching its way along the stones. Ele paled and then backed away. "T..t..t.that was on the fence?"
Kala looked puzzled. "Yes."
Ele shrieked and backed away quickly. She shoved Kala in front of her. "KILL IT!" she cried.
Kala turned back to Ele. "Its only a caterpillar"
Ele's eyes were wide with fright. "Only a caterpillar?" she hissed. "ONLY A CATERPILLAR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! I HATE CATERPILLARS!"
Kala tried to hide a smile. "Why?"
Ele shuddered. "Ooh, don't want to say. I've tried to repress the memories."
Nare smirked. "When we were VERY young, Ele and I were playing and she accidentally fell on one and squished it. She was not very happy. I thought it was funny."
Ele glared at Nare. "Thank you, you just undid years of work. Now I've got to repress the memories all over again."
Nare smiled cheerfully. "No problem."
Kala laughed and walked over to the caterpillar. "Its just a harmless little baby butterfly. Think of it like that Ele." She bent down and examined the caterpillar.
Ele shook her head. "When it's a harmless little ADULT butterfly then I'll be ok with it. In the meantime I'm keeping as much difference between it and me as possible."
"Oh come now, is that anyway for a member of the Lorien guard to behave?" Haldir stepped out from behind a tree and smiled at the three girls. " 'tis only a little caterpillar."
Ele peeped out from behind Kala. "It's a disgusting worm that's out to get me and nothing less!"
Haldir rolled his eyes, "Nice to know that I have such a brave elf on my guard."
Ele stuck her tongue out at him. "Well then, what does that say for the person that allowed me to join?"
Haldir sighed. "Ok, I'll drop it. I was wondering if you three would come and help train some newbies to the guard. I think it would be..educational for them."
Ele glanced at Kala and Nare and then nodded. "We'd love to."
Haldir smiled and his eyes twinkled. "Wonderful. We're meeting here at dawn."
Nare looked horrified. "You expect a bunch of newbies to be able to train the night after a summer festival?"
Kala sighed. "A bunch of hung-over elves with sharp objects. Can it get any better?" she said sarcastically
Ele snickered and scooped up Lorien. "At least it will be fun!"
*~*
The next morning the three girls gathered on the sparring field awaiting Haldir and the new recruits. Ele was playing with Lorien, waving a strip of cloth in front of him, and laughing hysterically as he grabbed it with his sharp baby teeth and growled his little baby growl.
Kala and Nare sat on the fence cooing over the baby wolf.
"Look at that!"
"Isn't he adorable? Listen to that little growl!"
"He such a tough widdle puppy isn't he?"
Lorien abruptly quit playing with the piece of cloth and sat down. His mouth opened wide in a yawn and he waddled over to Ele and climbed into her lap. He blinked a few times and then curled up and closed his eyes. All three she-elves let out an "Awwwwwwww." Lorien raised his head and blinked sleepily at them.
"Oh no! We woke him up!"
"I'm so sorry Lorien!"
"We won't do that again"
"Do you forgive us?"
Evidently Lorien was not the type to hold grudges because he smiled a big doggy grin and his tail wagged furiously. He cast an adoring look over the three girls and drifted back off to sleep. Ele carefully got to her feet and placed the little cub in his basket that was sitting near the fence. Lorien snuggled down into the soft blankets and rooted around in the basket until he came up with 'his' special little toy, a battered stuffed orc that the girls had dubbed "Uruk." Uncle Malving had made Lorien the toy after the little wolf cub had reduced a pair of his boots to shreds. Lorien loved "Uruk" and dragged it after him everywhere. Ele snickered as Lorien chomped on the little toy in his sleep, growling as he did so.
Ele flopped down on the grass and stared at the sky. "When are they going to get here? Its not nice to be late."
Kala raised an eyebrow, "This from the elf that would be late to everything if not for her friends and family dragging her out the door?"
Ele smiled. "But I'm never late am I?"
Nare laughed. "She has a point."
Ele hopped up and brushed herself off. "I hate waiting. Waiting is boring."
"Then be bored no more!" Kala pointed, "Here's Haldir and the newbies!"
Haldir was leading three sullen elves, as they got closer their faces became more distinct and Ele gasped. "It couldn't be!"
Kala's mouth was hanging open. "It is!"
Nare was on the ground laughing. "It's the three elves from last night! Haldir wants us to teach the three elves that we beat up last night!"
Ele giggled, "Methinks Haldir has a bit of a sadistic streak in him."
Kala nodded "Aye, but I don't think I'll mention it this one time."
The elves started when they noticed the three she-elves waiting for them on the sparring field. Haldir smiled, "Meet your teachers."
The three elves gasped and turned to Haldir, "WHAT? FEMALES TEACH US?"
Haldir's smiled turned cold. "Those females beat you easily last night. Elenmir is the best hand-to-hand fighter on the Lorien guard, Kalamir is the one that taught Elenmir and Naremir served on the Rivendell guard, it would behoove you to learn from them. Gender does not matter in terms of ability. Determination and willingness to learn is what makes a warrior."
The three elves snorted and glared at Ele and company. Ele smiled sweetly. "Gentlemen-and I use that in the loosest sense of the word, shall we begin?
The one that had been talking to Ele the night before glared. "As you wish Milady-and I use that in the loosest sense of the word."
Ele smirked. "Ooooh, a witty one." She gestured for the elf to enter the sparring ring. Kala and Nare perched on the fence, sitting in between the other two elves.
Kala leaned over to the elf on her right. "This should be good. Ele is a wonderful fighter." She grinned evilly at the elf.
Ele stood in the center of the ring and bowed at the elf. She held her two daggers loosely in her hands and appeared to be totally relaxed. " Now, Galad, I shall let you strike first."
Galad smirked and advanced on the she-elf. Ele stared at him, unblinking. He swung a dagger at her and found, to his surprise that Ele wasn't there anymore. He whirled around and found Ele standing behind him with that same unblinking stare fixed on him. He growled and leaped forward expecting a block from her. Ele smiled and flipped over his head, landing behind him once more.
Nare leaned over to the other elf. "Ele has been studying acrobatics since she was an elfling. Aunt Malquessa was trying to get her mind off learning to fight. It didn't work since she ended up incorporating the flips into her fighting style."
Galad scowled at Ele. "Running scared she-elf?" Ele said nothing but held up a dagger and waved it teasingly at Galad. He rushed forward quickly, trying to keep her from flipping away from him. At the moment Ele dropped into a crouch and swept her leg out, knocking Galad off his feet. He hit the ground with an "OOF" and looked up to see Ele standing beside him.
"Lesson one, Irritated people do not think clearly. Why did you rush up on me? That was stupid. Don't do that." She backed away and waved her hand at him. "Come on. Get up." Galad got to his feet and shot a death glare at Ele. She waved him forward once more and he slowly began to circle her, daggers held out in front. She laughed and waved the dagger at him again, tossing her hair over her shoulder. He tried to kick out at her but she ducked and knocked his leg out from under him again. Galad landed on his back and tried to blink away the stars in front of his vision. Ele leaned down. "Tsk Tsk Tsk. Still not thinking clearly. Lesson two, don't let your opponent irritate you!" she waved him to his feet and backed away laughing. "Block out all the distractions. Concentrate on beating me. Not on what I'm doing or saying."
Kala leaned over to the elf sitting next to her. "If he was smart, he wouldn't pay any attention to Ele, that's one of her tricks, she teases her opponent mercilessly, you see if you are angry you tend to get carel-oooh!" Kala winced as Galad hit the ground again with a particularly nasty sounding thud and then continued with her commentary. "anyway, you tend to get careless and slip up which leaves an opening for---Ow, that looked like that hurt-your opponent to slip in and attack."
Nare nodded from the other side of Kala. "She does it particularly well too! I remember this one time where she beat an elf three times her size, she walked onto the field and ---oh he's going to feel that later on!- actually asked what a dagger was! That elf was furious! He thought he was being mocked-OUCH, wouldn't want that to happen to me-and Ele managed to beat him within a minute. Never underestimate a female fighter. We aren't as strong as you are so we must improvise." Nare shook her head sympathetically as Galad hit the ground with a groan and stayed down.
Ele smiled and leaned over Galad. "Lesson forty three. Gravity can be an enemy or a friend. Pay attention to the placement of rocks if you do not want it as an enemy." Galad snarled at Ele and lunged at her-only to find himself staring into the angry eyes of a baby wolf.
Lorien snarled back at Galad, showing his little baby teeth. Fury shown in his dark brown eyes. NO ONE messes with my Ele! he thought. He slowly backed up making sure he stayed in front of Ele the entire time. Galad slowly stood and Lorien barked at him and stepped forward, his coal black fur stood on end and he growled as threateningly as a tiny wolf cub can.
Ele cooed and scooped Lorien up in her arms. "Aw, isn't that adorable? He wants to protect me! He's such a brave little puppy! Aren't you?" she cuddled Lorien close to her and nodded to Galad. "Good job, Galad. You show potential." Lorien offered a final snarl from Ele's arms. Ele strolled over to Kala. "Your turn" she said as she grinned at the elf sitting beside Kala.