~Eleven~

Scared That I'll Never Get Put Back Together

She reluctantly awoke, keeping her eyes closed for the time being, enjoying the last wisps of a pleasant dream. Tasuki stirred awake beside her.

Both smiled, pleasantly oblivious to their current situation.

"Hey."

"Y' okay?"

"I'm not dead, I guess so. You remember what happened?"

"'S fuzzy…"

"Yeah…"

A pause. Aiumi took the time to fully wake up.

"You realize we're completely naked and in bed together?"

"Um…kinda."

"I'm going to scream now."

"I think I'll join ya…"

Chichiri sighed as his friends outraged screams echoed through the halls.

"Fix, fix! Heal, heal!" The masses of Nyan-nyan swarmed toward their room, eager to heal the extreme embarrassment coming from it. He idly popped a couple floating around in bubble form, causing them to squeak in alarm and fall to the ground.

"Chichiri!" Taiitsu-kun chided.

"I'll heal your annoyance!" one Nyan-nyan smiled.

"And I'll heal Taiitsu-kun's!" said another.

Chichiri sighed again. "Let me take care of this, Nyan-nyan, no da."

"Kill, kill! Die, die!"

"What, no da?"

"Um…fix, fix, cure, cure?"

Muttering something about psychotic pixies, Chichiri cleared the little green haired girls out of his way and entered the room. He was met with death glares.

"Was this at all necessary?!?" Aiumi sniped.

"I have absolutely no idea, no da. Ask Taiitsu-kun."

Aiumi blinked. "Taiitsu-kun? Isn't she-"

She was cut off in mid-sentence as the aged priestess apparated into the room. Tasuki face-faulted onto the floor.

"Hey! Stop hogging the sheet! We only have one!" Aiumi, who had remained completely unfazed by Taiitsu-kun's appearance, continued to yell at Tasuki.

"I'd say something about them acting like an old married couple, only Aiumi'd probably kill me, no da…"

"Care to repeat that last comment, kitsune?"

"Ahem! Now that we're all healthily angry at each other…Nyan-nyan! Fetch something for our guests to wear!"

"Now then…would you two please grow up?"

"I will when he does." Aiumi, still blushing furiously, defiantly turned her back on everyone in the immediate vicinity.

"I think I liked you two better when you were asleep, na no da." Chichiri sighed softly, his thoughts turning to other matters. "Taiitsu-kun…there is something I need to take care of…elsewhere, no da. Is that alright?"

"I think that's a wise idea, Chichiri…good luck…" The wise old woman's eyes saw beyond Chichiri's vague, bashful exterior.

The monk was out of sight in a mere moment, his thoughts preoccupied with the inner confusion of his emotions.

"Aki-chan, why do you have to leave? Why are you so sad?"

"You'll understand someday, Dou-chan…hopefully, you'll never have to understand…" She held him gently at arm's length, fighting tears. How could she have been so stupid, letting her emotions take control like that? She couldn't stay here with that hanging over her head. And now…she had nowhere to run, but, all the same, she had to run.

"I love you, Dou-chan, and that's all that matters. I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"I love you too, aneki…" He hugged her tightly, clinging to her hand as long as he could, even as she jumped onto her horse.

Her tears started just as he was out of sight, glittering like crystal as they fell harmlessly to the snowy ground.

She rode all through the day, the feeling of loneliness and sense of loss growing in her heart with every step. She halted slightly at a mountain pass, able to see down into the desert and oasi of Sailou and even across the ocean to the plains of Kounan. Hesitating no longer, she entered the silent forests.

Dusk overtook her at a clear mountain spring deep in the midst of the trees. She silently tethered her horse, talking to it softly.

"I envy you, y'know that? I really do." She gently patted its velvety nose, smiling at the perpetual look of mild understanding in its hazel eyes.

"Hello, Chichiri." The little boy's voice was quiet, rather sad. Chichiri gave him a comforting hug.

"Do you know where Akiame might be, no da?"

"She left a few hours ago…Chichiri, she's sad about something but she wouldn't tell me what it was. She'd never act like that without a good reason…is something wrong? Do you know?" His big green eyes wide and pleading, Chiriko looked younger and smaller than ever.

Chichiri held him tighter, frowning worriedly. "I'm not sure, Chiriko…but I'm going to find out. I promise you that, na no da."

"Thank you, Chichiri…"

Tama-neko bounced past, jumping at a moth and landing on its nose when it missed. It playfully pounced on Chiriko's foot, eager to bring down some prey in its mischievous hunt. Chichiri scooped up the little cat, placing it in Chiriko's hands.

"He'll keep you company until I get back, no da." Chichiri tucked his mask away in his sash, trying desperately to locate Akiame's presence.

She sat on the mossy ground, hugging her knees for comfort.

I do love him. I can't get away from that.

But how can I call that love? I hardly even know him.

If only I hadn't kissed him. Maybe everything would be all right.

Look what this has done to me. I left Doukun alone because of him.

I won't choose between him and Doukun. I won't. I have to keep Doukun out of this.

If this is love, then love is one of the most overrated emotions in the world.

A sigh escaped her lips. "And yet, I love him…"

She stood, completely lost, forlorn. "I just want someone to hold onto…" The horse nosed her hand, looking for a treat.

Running her hand along its neck, she turned absently away. She placed the palms of her hands against the rough bark of a tree, and sadly rested her forehead against the cool stolidity, closing her eyes.

Wishing with all her might, she could almost imagine his arms around her, that this inanimate hunk of wood she leaned against was Chichiri.

Never minding exactly how it had happened, he held her against him, not daring to move and disturb her thoughts.

She sheepishly put her girlish daydreams out of her head, shaking away the almost believable illusion she'd created- only to find that it wouldn't go away. Opening her eyes, she desperately tried to convince herself it was true, not daring to look up in case it really wasn't.

He delicately traced the backs of his fingers along her cheek, causing her to look up at him, her brown eyes half-terrified, half elated.

Their lips brushed in a fluttering kiss, bashful and yet sweet in its timidity. She looked away, eyes closed, a flicker of color dancing across her face. "I'm sorry…"

"It's all right…I love you, Akiame…" He softly kissed her eyelids, his arms holding her steady. He was so perfect, so balanced and in control of himself…and yet…

Aiumi could feel her tension melt away, the warm water soothing away all muscle pain. She opened her eyes, frowning slightly, sighed, and coughed. Maybe there was a little too much steam in here. She shrugged it off, hopping out of the bath, wrapping a towel around herself, and walked over to a window.

Try as she might, she was just too darned short to reach. A Nyan-nyan, one or two of which was always floating around the place, hopped up to do it for her. Another, smiling sweetly, declared, "I'll fix your inadequate height!"

She smiled sarcastically. "Very funny. I'm not in the greatest of moods for jokes."
Yet another Nyan-nyan appeared. "I'll cure your bad attitude!"
"I don't appreciate this, chibi-demon."
"I'll heal your small-mindedness!"
"Do you want me to drop-kick you?"

"I'll fix your inclination toward barbaric violence!" Aiumi suddenly found herself surrounded with small chanting elf-girls.

Taiitsu-kun's eyebrows raised in surprise as several of her Nyan-nyan flew, squeaking in fear, through the adjoining wall. Aiumi followed them, albeit through the more conventional means of the door, absolutely seething with unholy fury.

"Whose sick idea was it to have these hell pixies all over the place?" The priestess's glare met hers like two thunderstorms clashing for position.

"I'll heal your-" The Nyan-nyan squealed in alarm as Aiumi slammed it against a wall with a snarl, pinning it there single-handedly.

"Shut UP! Can't you say anything ELSE?" The healer fae squirmed to no avail.

A hand caught roughly at her shoulder, spinning her around. The Nyan-nyan squealed yet again as it slid to the floor, catching itself and floating quickly away in its protective pink bubble.

Aiumi didn't care. Too stunned to be embarrassed, Tasuki's face held her mesmerized. His eyes glittered fiercely, ordering her silently to calm down, but betrayed hidden tears of only minutes earlier.

She tore away from his gaze, shaking her head dismally. Dejected footsteps trailed behind her as she slowly exited.

"Oh, Tamahome, I was so scared…and Nuriko came back to protect me! Isn't that wonderful?" Miaka simpered, hanging onto Tamahome's arm. "And now all we need to do is to get the other Shinzaho from Sailou and then--!" The girl babbled on, much to the discomfort of the other three Suzaku seishi and Akiame.

Miaka yawned and stretched, the gilded necklace swinging in her fist. "Wow…being frozen really takes all the energy out of you, huh, Tama-??" A snarl cut her short, a lithe, scrawny wolf snatching the glittering pendant away. "No!"

The miko's eyes widened, sickeningly. "It's…it's Ashitare!"

"Actually, it doesn't look much like him, no da. He was kind of a darker shade of gray, and this one doesn't have a scar over his right eye…"

A second wolf sprang on top of the first, wrestling it to the ground, fangs embedded in its throat. It soon stepped back, clutching the Shinzaho in its teeth, muzzle wet with blood.

"Déjà vu, no da!"

"Okay, this time I'm pretty sure it's Ashitare," Miaka stated. Suddenly, she blinked. The wolf had run off, taking her prize with it. "Wait! Come baaack!"

How could you, my love? How could you be so cruel as to kill a fellow soldier of Seiryuu? He isn't a mere animal, you yourself said he was half human. Soi never cried, as a rule; one she found herself dangerously close to breaking.

"Soi. Something's bothering you." Curse that painted freak. Why did he have to be so damned perceptive?

"You wouldn't understand."

"You'd be surprised at what I understand." She remained silent. "Well, once a stubborn little harlot, always a stubborn little harlot, I suppose."

"Once a jealous painted freak, always a jealous painted freak," she retorted.

Tomo cackled quietly. He snapped his fingers, the noise ringing like a gunshot. Ashitare padded quietly out from the snow-laden bushes. "You can only believe half of what you see, Soi…"

"Demo…"

"Real Shinzaho, illusion wolf. Ashitare will be useful, but you can never tell Nakago…no matter what he does to you." His face twisted with jealousy momentarily.

"Ecchi. I don't know whether to kill you or kiss you."

"Neither, please. I have other business to attend to." Tomo walked slowly away.

"Tomo?" She sank to her knees, petting Ashitare's iron grey fur.

"Hai?"

"Arigato…"

Tasuki quietly opened the door and sat on the edge of his bed, feeling old, empty, done with adventures. Nuriko was dead. Nuriko was dead, and Tasuki could have been dead, too.

As if that weren't enough, things were kind of…awkward between Aiumi and he, for reasons neither remembered nor understood. I should go talk t' her, he thought, but failed to move.

He couldn't get his mind off of either of them. Damn women. Oh, wait. Nevermind. He smiled momentarily. This sucks. Kouji'd know what to do… And he did too, for that matter. "I need a fuckin' drink…"

"What's wrong?" Aiumi leaned against the doorway, looking small and sad. He blushed, an immediately wondered why.

"I- nothin', it doesn't mater…" Again, he marveled at his sudden lack of coherency.

"Why were you crying?"

"It…I wasn't."

"Oh…I'm sorry, it was stupid of me…I'll leave…" She turned, but he spontaneously darted out and grabbed her wrist.

"Aiumi, stop it. Yer actin' all…weird."

She wouldn't look at him. "It's nothing. Just the rain, I get all depressed."

A few silent seconds passed, and when he spoke again, his voice was little more than a murmur. "It's 'cause you almost died, isn't it?"

She winced. "Ch'…c'mere…" Trembling violently, she allowed herself to be pulled in, her arms around his shoulders. "Gomen ne…didn't mean t'make ya cry."

"You don't know what it was like," Aiumi whispered. "He would've…guess I've got to face it sometime…"

She tried to turn away, only to be yanked right back. "Get back here, I'm not done huggin' you yet." She burst out laughing, and Tasuki grinned.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." They were as back to normal as possible at the moment. Tasuki sat back on the bed, and Aiumi turned to the window.

"We'd better get some rest. Don't worry about me, I think I'll be okay."

I can't help it. The uninvited thought flashed through his mind, instantly wiping the smile off his face. He remembered.

Great red fuckin' phoenix… Fright widened his eyes, snatched his breath away. Moonlight engulfed the room, outlining Aiumi in silver and tingeing her with a strange wraithlike shimmer. I…love her… The total gravity, absurdity, truth of the thought stunned him, made him forget to breathe. Wait…why the hell did I forget?

"Why're you staring at me like that?" Absently, she brushed a few stray strands of hair away from her face.

"I remembered somethin'…"

Fright froze her at the strange look on his face, the wolfishness of his smile. Please don't do this…I don't think I can take it… "N-nani desu ka?" she managed to gasp.

Their eyes locked, a heartbeat apart. "Ai shiteru," he whispered, and kissed her.

End of Chapter Eleven