The Marble
Author's Note: mwahaha! It's back! Sorry for the delay - I kinda forgot some of the plot after we had to hand our copies of The Pearl back in. So from now on, it might be even more random……
"A town is like a colonial animal.
"What the halibut is that supposed to mean, anyways? Ok, I get the simile part, and the animal part… maybe. But what is the point of the 'colonial'-ness? "A town is like a royal/regal/imposing animal…"
"Didn't we get rid of him last chapter?" Anuaj asked Onik, sighing.
"Yes. 'The Random Disembodied Voice was no more, and it was good'…. Got any algebra books?"
"No homework this weekend," Kavi apologized. "Let's get Olly."
There was a poof of magical red and gold smoke, and a tall wizardly dude in a black turtleneck appeared. He waved his wand and said a random Latin-sounding word (in a Scottish/Irish accent). And the announcer… was no more. (Unless you chillens want me to bring him back again… o_O)
"Thanks Olly," Kavi said. "N'ori loves you."
Now, to make up for lost time… The town was like a big fat ol' aminal. Everyone in it was a big gossip, and they spread word of the discovery of The Marble of the World. They all wanted it for themselves for various reasons. Of course, Onik and Anuaj were oblivious and naïve due to a secret plot to gain sympathy. So, they pretended not to see past everyone's lies and figured that everybody was genuinely happy for them. The end.
Sitting around the campfire, Onik looked into the Marble and thought of what he would buy with it. This was very hard for him, as it required thought. So he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And he thought.
And finally, when the rest of the people were about to lose their already short attention spans, he said, "I…" Everyone looked up expectantly.
"I will buy a big fork… no. A squirt gun." Everyone gasped. Only the very very wealthy had squirt guns.
"And," Onik continued, looking at Anuaj, "I will buy a new skirt for Anuaj. You know, the kind that, like, goes down to like, a little past your knees and it's all, like, jeans only like, patched and it looks so totally like cool and like oh my gods! And like, she can wear it and everyone can be like so jealous and like, it'll be like…"
Onik trailed off, realizing that everyone else was giving him "the look" (O_o). He cleared his throat.
"And," he finished awkwardly, "My son… will have an education. He will go to clown school. He will come back and tell us all that he knows, so that we may all learn the clownish ways."
This was too much for some of the villagers. Imagine… clown school! Appalachia (Tommybaby's wife) actually fainted. "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?" Tommybaby called out.
And, out of complete randomness popped… the King of all Kings of all Rock and Roll… the one… the only… Elvis himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*And the readers shake their heads and wonder, where the halibut does all this nonsense come from???*
Elvis danced very dramatically over to Appalachia. "Yes, yes, I am a doctor," he sang. In fact, he was the doctor. You know, the one from the village who owned the random owl. But he decided to ignore Appalachia and went straight to the couple who owned the hut.
Elvis, too, had learned about Onik's Marble, and thought it would be a fine thing to have. So he said, "I'm sorry I couldn't see yer baby before… I was away talkin' to my… alien friends. Anyway, I think he might be sick." He danced over to where Coyote was, and pulled his eyelid down. Ow! Didn't anyone consider the fact that that might hurt that poor baby?
He nodded knowingly. "Yup. He's sick all right, baby. Look at that - bluer than blue suede shoes."
"Oh my," Anuaj said.
"Not to worry, liddle lady," Elvis assured her, rhinestones flashing. "I'll just sing him a song and he'll be better." And Elvis sang, and it was not so good.
Coyote started to cry.
"Oh my," Anuaj said.
"There, see. That's him workin' against the poison. Nuthin' to worry about." The hut burst into cheers and swoons.
"Thank you, thank you very much," Elvis said, and danced out of the hut.
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Kwee! There, I think that was enough to sufficiently disturb you. So please review. Kwee…. *can't think of any good review-type threats due to the hour of night* er…… Suggestions would be helpful. Not that I'm not running out of ideas, but I know that some other people have heads as messed up as mine, and two ideas are better than non- I mean, one! *tips purple top hat and flourishes cape* Until we meet again…..