Story 10 - Part 2
Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley were currently conversing heatedly in the Great Hall. A week had passed already, and not one prank had been pulled. Of course, Harry, Ron, and Draco were attempting to remedy that, but to no avail. They just couldn't think a prank to rival the Marauders'.
"So what do we bloody do?" Ron demanded. "What can we do that will truly make this worth it?"
"Let's start the easy way," Draco said patiently. "Who do we know is a slimy, annoying, pompous, stuck-up git we would like to have revenge on?"
Harry and Ron gave each other looks. "You," they finally chorused together.
Draco scowled. "I meant someone who will not be planning the prank?"
"A teacher, preferably," Ron added.
The three looked at each other. "Professor Demeter."
It wasn't that they hated Professor Demeter or anything. It was just that she had busted up every one of their last few attempted pranks. And she was very liberal about taking points of her own House. She especially kept her eye on them.
"What do we want to do that is properly fitting?" Ron asked speculatively.
"But not too mean so that we'd get into too big of a trouble," Harry added.
"And impossible to trace," Draco mused.
The three looked at each other with excitement. "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," they said in unison.
Ron immediately began flipping through the catalog. "Hmm. Let's see . Canary Creams, Ton-Tongue Toffees, Trick Wands, oh this is all old stuff. Let's look toward the more advanced pranks. Oh. Sleeping Draught Coffee, Homework Repellent, Confounding Conundrums . Oh here's a good one." Ron looked up expectantly. "Slime Sludge."
"What does it do?" Harry asked eagerly.
"Well," Ron said. "I found it in the food section. It looks like anything you want it to look like, and it tastes horrible. Plus, if even a bit of it is ingested, the drinker will began spouting sludge out of his mouth for a full five seconds. I heard Fred and George talking about it. They were discussing how long it could go before actually hurting the person who drank it."
Harry grabbed the catalog. "Let me see. Here's a good one. Parrot Potion. Just like Canary Creams, except it comes in a goblet, and you belch out a whole bunch of bad words and songs before you're changed back."
"Give it here," Draco said. "Oh, you won't believe this." He burst out laughing. "There's a Harry doll."
"A what?" Harry asked.
"Oh," Draco began cracking up. "You have your own Harry figurine, complete with the 'handsome, yet devilish scar'. It talks, too. It can say, 'No matter what you do, remember one thing, my friend. Beware of the Defense Against Dark Arts Professor,' 'Beating Voldemort was a breeze . I scared him away with my handsome looks,' and more. How's that for a bunch of fun?"
"You scared him away with your handsome looks?" Ron burst out laughing.
"Beware the Defense Against Dark Arts Professor?" Draco couldn't stop rolling over the floor, choked with guffaws. "Oh, and there's more. Comes with his own wand, and robes, and trips if you push the yellow button."
Harry glared. "Doesn't anyone forget that?"
The day after he defeated Voldemort, Harry was asked to make a speech. As he climbed the stand, he tripped on his robes, and looked like a fool in front of everyone. Ron and Draco would not let him forget it.
"'Course not," Ron sniggered. "Too good of a moment to a pass up."
"A regular Kodak moment," Harry muttered.
"What?" Ron asked.
"Ah, it's a Muggle commercial from the States," Harry shrugged. "Never mind."
"So which shall we do?" Draco asked finally.
Ron shrugged. "I'm particularly fond of something simpler. We don't want to get into too much trouble."
"How about an Owlish?" Harry suggested. "She'll turn into an owl for a couple of seconds. It's not harmful to her health, she'll revert back after a couple of seconds, and it's practically untraceable. Just slip one into whatever she's eating that night."
"All right, then," Ron smiled.
"We'll do it," Draco agreed.
"Are you sure you slipped it into the right bowl?" Ron nudged.
"Yes, I'm sure," Harry said for the fifteenth time.
They watched as the teachers stood to greet the class. As they sat down, they watched with eager eyes as Professor Demeter sipped her soup . and nothing happened.
All of a sudden, a shriek erupted from the other end of the table. Apparently, Professor Diana had turned into an owl, and was now perched on top of her seat, her beady eyes glaring at everyone. When she reverted back, her voice was terrible. "Who did that?"
No one spoke.
She turned, and her eyes zeroed in on an agape Harry, a shocked Ron, and a stunned Draco. When she spoke, she seemed to speak to them. "Don't think I don't know who you are. Twenty points off of Gryffindor, and ten off of Slytherin. And QUADRUPLE detention for all of the Gryffindors, and double detention for all of the Slytherins."
Protest was heard immediately.
Professor Diana silenced the class with a McGonagall stare. "That is not all, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Mr. Malfoy. I would also like for those three boys I just named to come up to the Great Table and dance a jig for the rest of the class."
There was silence in the Great Hall. Snickers were heard. "Go on then, Ron. Come on, Harry. We're waiting to see you dance," Seamus laughed.
"Go ahead," Blaise Zabini encouraged. "See how well you dance a jig, eh, Draco?"
The three walked up, scowling.
Professor Demeter smiled. "Musicio!" Immediately, music began to play.
"Come on now," Professor Diana spoke. "Dance."
The three obeyed grudgingly, ignoring the titters of laughter. "Harry," Ron muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "You're going to pay."
"It's your fault, too," Harry protested.
"You slipped it in the wrong bowl," Draco said heatedly.
"It was an accident!" Harry hissed out of the side of his mouth as he finished his jig and bowed, with Ron and Draco beside him. "How was I to know that Professor Diana would drink Professor Demeter's bowl?"
"You're the prank-puller," Ron explained as they walked back to their spot. "It's your job to know."
Harry made a face. "Whatever."
"Now, we need revenge," Ron glared. "We need to prank Demeter ~and~ Diana."
"You're supposed to say Professor before their names," Harry said.
Draco quirked an eyebrow. "Why? They're the same age as us."
Harry blushed. "Because they're teachers. Besides, I don't think you would dare to call them Demeter and Diana to their faces."
"I would," Draco said.
"Fine then," Harry glared. "I dare you."
"What'll I get?" Draco asked.
"Five galleons if you do it before Saturday. You have to give five to me if you don't," Harry challenged.
"Fine," Draco glared.
"Fine."
"This will be hilarious to watch," Ron snickered, losing his bad humor. "Oh I can't wait."
"Mr. Malfoy," Professor Diana narrowed her eyes. "I'm afraid to say that on your latest Transfiguration quiz, you received a measly 72%. Your grade is pulling down the class, Mr. Malfoy. Care to explain to me why for the question 'Who first discovered the Animagi Transformation?' you put the answer, 'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes'?"
Draco smiled at her sweetly. "I don't know, Diana. Because I felt like it?"
There was utter silence in the classroom. Pansy Parkinson turned around in her seat to stare at Draco in shock.
"Disrespect for a Professor, Slytherin House just lost 10 points. You, Mr. Malfoy, are serving another detention . scrubbing chamber pots in the hospital wing without magic. I'm sure you will find the . odors appetizing." Professor Diana narrowed her eyes. "And if you show disrespect to a Professor again, I will personally speak to the Headmistress of Hogwarts about a temporary suspension."
Draco gulped. "Yes, Professor Diana," he said. Later, though, he was not as soft-spoken. "What do you mean, I don't get five Galleons! I lose 10 Slytherin points ~and~ get detention, and I don't get five Galleons!"
Harry shrugged, and gave him a hapless smile. "I said you had to call both Professor Diana ~and~ Professor Demeter by name. You only called Professor Diana by name."
"But I'll get suspended if I call Professor Demeter by name," Draco protested.
"Hey," Ron shrugged. "That's what he said. Of course, you can dare him to go and call Professor Demeter by name."
Harry shook his head. "I've never claimed that I would."
"You?" Draco asked Ron. "You're the one that started it all. You go call her by name."
Ron shook his head. "After what happened to you? I think not."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "This means war."
The rest of the week was horrible. The first day, Harry and Ron turned into parrots at breakfast. Draco was coughing up sludge at dinner. On Tuesday, Harry and Ron turned into canaries, while Draco wound up with a rather large tongue at dinner. Wednesday, a number of good old-fashioned Dungbombs and Filibuster Fireworks were discovered in Harry and Ron's beds. Good old-fashioned toads, spiders, snakes, and small imps found their way into Draco's bed. On Thursday, Owlishes that accidentally missed Harry and Ron were discovered in the Ravenclaws' soup. Before the end of the day was over, flying eggs were pelting the Slytherins.
On Friday, Hufflepuff got involved in the fight when a stray deluge of eggs caught Justin Finch-Fletchley. Pretty soon, it was an all and out war between the Houses. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and Zonko's found good business everywhere, while hapless bystanders discovered Acid Pops and other such harmful sweets close by.
The following Monday, Professor McGonagall stood before the students. "There will no more pranks played between the Houses."
A general "Boo!" was heard.
"I have not finished," Professor McGonagall said sharply, shooting everyone a famous "McGonagall Glare." "I was going to say that there will be no more pranks played between the Houses if any more pranks accidentally involve teachers, or endanger students. Is that understood?"
A chorus of yeses was heard, even as more flying objects were thrown across the room.
"Demeter," a voice called. Professor Demeter turned around to see Professor Giorgio, new head of Slytherin. "I'm afraid your students have been caught charming my students in the hall."
"With what?" Professor Demeter inquired, surprised.
"Hair-color changing charms," Professor Giorgio sniffed.
"Well, it's too bad, isn't it?" she asked merrily, as she ducked a stray glob of jelly that plopped onto Professor Giorgio's face. "Lighten up, Regis. It's not every day you experience a War of the Houses." So saying, she ducked another flying knife. Professor Giorgio reached up with his wand, and muttered a few choice words under his breath. The knife snapped in half in midair. (It was designed to go soft if it hit anyone, so as to avoid injury.)
The next morning, Professor Demeter awoke to the chorus of a choir of banshees. She Banished them immediately, before apologizing to them. But as they handed her a piece of paper with the initials RG on it, she saw red. "Regis Giorgio, you will pay."
That night, Professor Giorgio found him mobbed by a swarm of veela who owed Professor Demeter a favor. He was made a fool of in front of the whole school as he danced. Professor Demeter watched in satisfactorily. Professor McGonagall only shook her head, since there was nothing she could do because this was only the Five-Year Reunion.
That's how the first of three months passed. Full of pranks and jokes, and such.
To be continued .
Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley were currently conversing heatedly in the Great Hall. A week had passed already, and not one prank had been pulled. Of course, Harry, Ron, and Draco were attempting to remedy that, but to no avail. They just couldn't think a prank to rival the Marauders'.
"So what do we bloody do?" Ron demanded. "What can we do that will truly make this worth it?"
"Let's start the easy way," Draco said patiently. "Who do we know is a slimy, annoying, pompous, stuck-up git we would like to have revenge on?"
Harry and Ron gave each other looks. "You," they finally chorused together.
Draco scowled. "I meant someone who will not be planning the prank?"
"A teacher, preferably," Ron added.
The three looked at each other. "Professor Demeter."
It wasn't that they hated Professor Demeter or anything. It was just that she had busted up every one of their last few attempted pranks. And she was very liberal about taking points of her own House. She especially kept her eye on them.
"What do we want to do that is properly fitting?" Ron asked speculatively.
"But not too mean so that we'd get into too big of a trouble," Harry added.
"And impossible to trace," Draco mused.
The three looked at each other with excitement. "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," they said in unison.
Ron immediately began flipping through the catalog. "Hmm. Let's see . Canary Creams, Ton-Tongue Toffees, Trick Wands, oh this is all old stuff. Let's look toward the more advanced pranks. Oh. Sleeping Draught Coffee, Homework Repellent, Confounding Conundrums . Oh here's a good one." Ron looked up expectantly. "Slime Sludge."
"What does it do?" Harry asked eagerly.
"Well," Ron said. "I found it in the food section. It looks like anything you want it to look like, and it tastes horrible. Plus, if even a bit of it is ingested, the drinker will began spouting sludge out of his mouth for a full five seconds. I heard Fred and George talking about it. They were discussing how long it could go before actually hurting the person who drank it."
Harry grabbed the catalog. "Let me see. Here's a good one. Parrot Potion. Just like Canary Creams, except it comes in a goblet, and you belch out a whole bunch of bad words and songs before you're changed back."
"Give it here," Draco said. "Oh, you won't believe this." He burst out laughing. "There's a Harry doll."
"A what?" Harry asked.
"Oh," Draco began cracking up. "You have your own Harry figurine, complete with the 'handsome, yet devilish scar'. It talks, too. It can say, 'No matter what you do, remember one thing, my friend. Beware of the Defense Against Dark Arts Professor,' 'Beating Voldemort was a breeze . I scared him away with my handsome looks,' and more. How's that for a bunch of fun?"
"You scared him away with your handsome looks?" Ron burst out laughing.
"Beware the Defense Against Dark Arts Professor?" Draco couldn't stop rolling over the floor, choked with guffaws. "Oh, and there's more. Comes with his own wand, and robes, and trips if you push the yellow button."
Harry glared. "Doesn't anyone forget that?"
The day after he defeated Voldemort, Harry was asked to make a speech. As he climbed the stand, he tripped on his robes, and looked like a fool in front of everyone. Ron and Draco would not let him forget it.
"'Course not," Ron sniggered. "Too good of a moment to a pass up."
"A regular Kodak moment," Harry muttered.
"What?" Ron asked.
"Ah, it's a Muggle commercial from the States," Harry shrugged. "Never mind."
"So which shall we do?" Draco asked finally.
Ron shrugged. "I'm particularly fond of something simpler. We don't want to get into too much trouble."
"How about an Owlish?" Harry suggested. "She'll turn into an owl for a couple of seconds. It's not harmful to her health, she'll revert back after a couple of seconds, and it's practically untraceable. Just slip one into whatever she's eating that night."
"All right, then," Ron smiled.
"We'll do it," Draco agreed.
"Are you sure you slipped it into the right bowl?" Ron nudged.
"Yes, I'm sure," Harry said for the fifteenth time.
They watched as the teachers stood to greet the class. As they sat down, they watched with eager eyes as Professor Demeter sipped her soup . and nothing happened.
All of a sudden, a shriek erupted from the other end of the table. Apparently, Professor Diana had turned into an owl, and was now perched on top of her seat, her beady eyes glaring at everyone. When she reverted back, her voice was terrible. "Who did that?"
No one spoke.
She turned, and her eyes zeroed in on an agape Harry, a shocked Ron, and a stunned Draco. When she spoke, she seemed to speak to them. "Don't think I don't know who you are. Twenty points off of Gryffindor, and ten off of Slytherin. And QUADRUPLE detention for all of the Gryffindors, and double detention for all of the Slytherins."
Protest was heard immediately.
Professor Diana silenced the class with a McGonagall stare. "That is not all, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Mr. Malfoy. I would also like for those three boys I just named to come up to the Great Table and dance a jig for the rest of the class."
There was silence in the Great Hall. Snickers were heard. "Go on then, Ron. Come on, Harry. We're waiting to see you dance," Seamus laughed.
"Go ahead," Blaise Zabini encouraged. "See how well you dance a jig, eh, Draco?"
The three walked up, scowling.
Professor Demeter smiled. "Musicio!" Immediately, music began to play.
"Come on now," Professor Diana spoke. "Dance."
The three obeyed grudgingly, ignoring the titters of laughter. "Harry," Ron muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "You're going to pay."
"It's your fault, too," Harry protested.
"You slipped it in the wrong bowl," Draco said heatedly.
"It was an accident!" Harry hissed out of the side of his mouth as he finished his jig and bowed, with Ron and Draco beside him. "How was I to know that Professor Diana would drink Professor Demeter's bowl?"
"You're the prank-puller," Ron explained as they walked back to their spot. "It's your job to know."
Harry made a face. "Whatever."
"Now, we need revenge," Ron glared. "We need to prank Demeter ~and~ Diana."
"You're supposed to say Professor before their names," Harry said.
Draco quirked an eyebrow. "Why? They're the same age as us."
Harry blushed. "Because they're teachers. Besides, I don't think you would dare to call them Demeter and Diana to their faces."
"I would," Draco said.
"Fine then," Harry glared. "I dare you."
"What'll I get?" Draco asked.
"Five galleons if you do it before Saturday. You have to give five to me if you don't," Harry challenged.
"Fine," Draco glared.
"Fine."
"This will be hilarious to watch," Ron snickered, losing his bad humor. "Oh I can't wait."
"Mr. Malfoy," Professor Diana narrowed her eyes. "I'm afraid to say that on your latest Transfiguration quiz, you received a measly 72%. Your grade is pulling down the class, Mr. Malfoy. Care to explain to me why for the question 'Who first discovered the Animagi Transformation?' you put the answer, 'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes'?"
Draco smiled at her sweetly. "I don't know, Diana. Because I felt like it?"
There was utter silence in the classroom. Pansy Parkinson turned around in her seat to stare at Draco in shock.
"Disrespect for a Professor, Slytherin House just lost 10 points. You, Mr. Malfoy, are serving another detention . scrubbing chamber pots in the hospital wing without magic. I'm sure you will find the . odors appetizing." Professor Diana narrowed her eyes. "And if you show disrespect to a Professor again, I will personally speak to the Headmistress of Hogwarts about a temporary suspension."
Draco gulped. "Yes, Professor Diana," he said. Later, though, he was not as soft-spoken. "What do you mean, I don't get five Galleons! I lose 10 Slytherin points ~and~ get detention, and I don't get five Galleons!"
Harry shrugged, and gave him a hapless smile. "I said you had to call both Professor Diana ~and~ Professor Demeter by name. You only called Professor Diana by name."
"But I'll get suspended if I call Professor Demeter by name," Draco protested.
"Hey," Ron shrugged. "That's what he said. Of course, you can dare him to go and call Professor Demeter by name."
Harry shook his head. "I've never claimed that I would."
"You?" Draco asked Ron. "You're the one that started it all. You go call her by name."
Ron shook his head. "After what happened to you? I think not."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "This means war."
The rest of the week was horrible. The first day, Harry and Ron turned into parrots at breakfast. Draco was coughing up sludge at dinner. On Tuesday, Harry and Ron turned into canaries, while Draco wound up with a rather large tongue at dinner. Wednesday, a number of good old-fashioned Dungbombs and Filibuster Fireworks were discovered in Harry and Ron's beds. Good old-fashioned toads, spiders, snakes, and small imps found their way into Draco's bed. On Thursday, Owlishes that accidentally missed Harry and Ron were discovered in the Ravenclaws' soup. Before the end of the day was over, flying eggs were pelting the Slytherins.
On Friday, Hufflepuff got involved in the fight when a stray deluge of eggs caught Justin Finch-Fletchley. Pretty soon, it was an all and out war between the Houses. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and Zonko's found good business everywhere, while hapless bystanders discovered Acid Pops and other such harmful sweets close by.
The following Monday, Professor McGonagall stood before the students. "There will no more pranks played between the Houses."
A general "Boo!" was heard.
"I have not finished," Professor McGonagall said sharply, shooting everyone a famous "McGonagall Glare." "I was going to say that there will be no more pranks played between the Houses if any more pranks accidentally involve teachers, or endanger students. Is that understood?"
A chorus of yeses was heard, even as more flying objects were thrown across the room.
"Demeter," a voice called. Professor Demeter turned around to see Professor Giorgio, new head of Slytherin. "I'm afraid your students have been caught charming my students in the hall."
"With what?" Professor Demeter inquired, surprised.
"Hair-color changing charms," Professor Giorgio sniffed.
"Well, it's too bad, isn't it?" she asked merrily, as she ducked a stray glob of jelly that plopped onto Professor Giorgio's face. "Lighten up, Regis. It's not every day you experience a War of the Houses." So saying, she ducked another flying knife. Professor Giorgio reached up with his wand, and muttered a few choice words under his breath. The knife snapped in half in midair. (It was designed to go soft if it hit anyone, so as to avoid injury.)
The next morning, Professor Demeter awoke to the chorus of a choir of banshees. She Banished them immediately, before apologizing to them. But as they handed her a piece of paper with the initials RG on it, she saw red. "Regis Giorgio, you will pay."
That night, Professor Giorgio found him mobbed by a swarm of veela who owed Professor Demeter a favor. He was made a fool of in front of the whole school as he danced. Professor Demeter watched in satisfactorily. Professor McGonagall only shook her head, since there was nothing she could do because this was only the Five-Year Reunion.
That's how the first of three months passed. Full of pranks and jokes, and such.
To be continued .