Where To Go From Here
How could you do this to me? Mandy demands, glaring at Donovan. I loved you, took care of you even when you had no idea I existed, and did everything I could to protect you. How can you just abandon everything I've fought to develop with you?
Donovan has tears running down her cheeks. She is surprised that she can cry on the Astral Plane. She looks away from Mandy, whose rage has transformed her from a beautiful young woman to a demonic figure. You used me. You wanted me to do bad things so that you could be free of my mind. But I didn't put you there.
Of course you didn't. I did so that you would never forget me. So that you would always remember what I sacrificed for you, Mandy snarls. And even that barely kept you out of that Southern girl's panties.
Donovan clenches her fists. Don't talk about Rogue that way. She never wanted to be involved in any of this. You did this to yourself.
Mandy tries to attack Donovan but her mind is torn from the Astral Plane before Mandy can hurt her. She opens her eyes and sees Rogue sitting on the edge of the hospital bed she's lying on. "Where am I?"
"The X-Men's headquarters. They're tryin' t' figure out how t' get Mandy outta yer head without killin' her," Rogue says. "How're ya feelin'?"
"Well enough to not be confined to a hospital bed," Donovan says. She starts to get up but feels dizzy. She lies down again. "What's the matter with me?"
Rogue frowns. "The head master o' the school said that yer gonna be groggy till he gets the Mandy thing taken care of. So you can't interfere."
"What?" Donovan roars. "He can't do that! He's messing with my head! How dare he decide what goes on there!"
"Donny, he's tryin' t' separate the two o' you…" Rogue says softly. "Granger worked with him t' make a robot body for her. It's her punishment, Ah guess. She ain't a robot no more, either. After Mandy's outta your head, maybe she won't be crazy no more, they think."
Donovan sighs in relief. She doesn't see the anguish in Rogue's green, tear-filled eyes. Rogue gets up. "Ah guess you're gonna be okay. Ah just wanted t' make sure y' knew what was goin' on," with that, Rogue gets up to walk away.
"Wait, Rogue," Donovan murmurs. Rogue stops and looks over at her, her wavy hair falling in front of her face, hiding the pain. Donovan reaches out a hand. "Would you stay with me? I can't bear to be alone like this. I'm… scared…"
Rogue's eyes widen. "Scared?" she moves back to the bed. "Why scared?"
"I have no control over what happens to me. I've always had someone thinking for me, I just never knew it. Before Mandy was in my head, my parents wanted nothing more than for me to get top marks and go on to a good school. I never cared about that, though. I just wanted to write. But I got scholarships in mathematics so I was going to college to be an accountant. I hated it but that's what my parents wanted."
"Y' remember..?" Rogue asks.
Donovan nods. "I remember a lot now. I think Mandy wants to torture me with what she'd been keeping from me."
"An' that's how she was controllin' ya," Rogue says. She heaves a sigh of sadness.
"Yeah. When Mandy's gone, I'll have to think for myself for the first time ever. I'll have to make my own decisions. I don't think I can handle that. I need someone to tell me what to do… who I am."
Rogue brushes a stray strand of hair away from Donovan's eyes. "Y' know who y' are?" she asks. Donovan shakes her head. "Yer Donovan Milady. Yer a good, kind, courageous, sad girl with a big heart. Y' make more people happy than y' could ever know. Warren stayed here even though he was pissed that the X-Men weren't gonna do nothin' t' Gambit after some Morlock Massacre thing. Cuz he's yer friend and cares about ya."
"He's my friend because Mandy let me be the kind of person she wanted me to be and it just so happened to be someone that Warren could be friends with," Donovan groans. "I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I hate not being my own person."
"Be yer own person with me," Rogue says suddenly. She looks deep into Donovan's eyes. "Y' made me realize that there's something worth carin' about. An' that had t' be you. Had t' be. Mandy wouldn'ta made ya treat me so good. Yer folks wouldn'ta, either, Ah reckon. That had ta be you. Yer good heart. Yer lovin' heart…"
Besides the kiss they had shared in Donovan's mind, Rogue had never let on that she felt anything more than friendship. And even that had been a moment of closeness that would have driven any two people into that kind of embrace.
Before Donovan can respond, Rogue runs from the room. Donovan wants to go after her but she is still far too dizzy to do anything but shout for Rogue to come back. Jennifer walks into the room and frowns sadly. "I was going to ask how you were doing but my guess is not so good."
"How'd you guess?" Donovan is surprised at seeing Jennifer without the faulty machinery attached to her. "So, you're on the side of the angels now?"
Jennifer laughs mirthlessly. "You wish. I just figured it's more profitable to not be hunted as the biggest mutant bounty hunter in the free world. Build up my brownie points by chilling with the X-Men, maybe some work at Ryker's…"
"What's Ryker's?" Donovan asks.
"You live in a cave?" Jennifer raises her eyebrows. "It's only the most advanced super powered criminal detainment facility in the whole world. And what they wouldn't pay to have a person there who can shut down another mutant's powers!"
Donovan actually laughs. "You never cease to amaze me, Granger. What the hell is money, anyway? An excuse for people to do terrible things."
"Easy for you to say, Donny. You've never known what it's like to need money bad enough to do anything for it. It makes the world go 'round," Jennifer says, starting to get annoyed. "I did what I had to do and now I'm starting to get ahead. I have no regrets."
Donovan sighs. "You're leaving, then?"
"Yeah. Turn in my robotics and got me a 'get out of jail free' card. I'm out of here on the first plane to San Francisco," Jennifer said.
"That's where Ryker's is?" Donovan asked.
Jennifer shakes her head. "No. I just have some business to attend to there. Old promises and what not. I'll be in New York after that. You should look me up when you don't have that psycho attached to you."
Donovan glowers at Jennifer. "She's not a psycho. Just… upset, being dead and all."
Jennifer shakes her head and smiles. "See you around, Donny. I'm sorry for hurting you the way that I have… but maybe a little 'Southern Comfort' will make it all better, hm?"
Donovan watches Jennifer leave and feels relived to be alone, even though she knows she's not truly alone. She closes her eyes, wanting to go back into her head and to confront Mandy. She needs to know why Mandy's the way she is. She needs to understand what's going on.
"I can help you with that, you know," a deep voice says. Donovan looks up and sees an older, bald man in a wheelchair. He is smiling but it is more friendly than happy. "Mandy Harper's mind is clinging to yours desperately. You'd think that she'd want her own body, even if it's not exactly human. But she doesn't want to leave you."
"She wants to run my life. To make up for not having one of her own for so long," Donovan says miserably.
The man nods. "I need you to relax. This is going to be the last session and you need to be fully alert for it. The other times, you've been in a semi-conscious state with no awareness of our conversations. Mandy is very angry but I need you with me to get her out of your mind. You do want her gone, right?"
"I do…" Donovan knows that she needs to be her own person. She's afraid but it's the only way to make things right.
"Good…" the man replies. "Lie back… and close your eyes…"
DONOVAN'S MIND:
Mandy… it's Professor Charles Xavier again. Donovan and I would really like to talk to you, the man says. He is standing upright, rather than being in a wheelchair.
Mandy launches herself at Donovan again. Donovan and Mandy fall together for quite a distance before Xavier's mental abilities catch them and separate them. Donovan stands away from Mandy. What's happened to you?
I'm never going to just be a machine! You want to be separated so bad, you live inside that cold, metal shell! Mandy shrieks. She looks at Xavier. And you think you can drive me out? You think you're little therapy sessions are enough to loosen the holds that I've developed here? I've been living in someone's brain far too long for some mental moron with delusions of grandeur to just rip me away.
The bitterness and hate is more than Donovan can bear. She looks at Xavier. Get her out of my head. Now.
You have to do it. You have to be assertive enough to take back your mind, Xavier says. I'm just here to help you through it. You have to force her out.
She can't do it, egg head, Mandy laughs. She's weak. Mindless. If it weren't for me, there'd be nothing up here but stupid trivia. She knows things of the world now that she'd never had experienced if it wasn't for me!
Donovan wants to cry. This isn't Mandy. If it was, she could handle the girl living in her mind. Mandy would've loved the closeness and the sharing involved. This isn't Mandy and that knowledge gives Donovan the strength to do what she has to do.
This is my mind. No one controls me but me, Donovan begins, stepping toward Mandy. Mandy's expression of triumph fades as Donovan gets closer. You're not the woman I fell in love with. Mandy died trying to show me her devotion and love. You've done nothing but bring me pain and anguish. You've done this to yourself, Mandy. Now it's time for you to join your physical form, wherever that may be.
Donovan concentrates as hard as she can on freeing her mind from Mandy's hundreds of holds she has placed in her mind. She feels them weakening. That's it, Donovan. That's it! You've almost got her. She knows where to go if she wants to live. Just drive her out. The next part of the journey is her decision. You're the one in control of your own mind, Xavier tells her, encouraging her, guiding her, and giving her the courage to finally drive Mandy out of Donovan's head for good.
Mandy screams. How could you do this to me? I loved you! You loved me! You let me die and now I'm being punished? How dare you? How dare you?! Mandy's words echo dimly in her mind as the girl disappears.
Donovan drops to her knees, the mental exertion much more than she can handle. She looks up at Xavier. You did well, Donovan. I'm very proud of you…
I don't need you to be proud of me… Donovan says bitterly. I need you to get me the hell out of here.
THE XAVIER SCHOOL FOR THE GIFTED:
Donovan doesn't wake up for another week. When she does, she is groggy and doesn't recognize anyone around her. She can't eat or drink anything. She falls in and out of conscious for another month. She hears voices nearby but can't figure out who they belong to. She just cries when she's awake and whimpers in her sleep.
Rogue doesn't leave her side. She strokes Donovan's hair and tells her about everything that's been going on. She talks about Warren having to leave for work again but promising to come back to get Donovan if she needs to leave. She talks about Mandy staying in the robot's body but not long and finally disappearing forever. She talks about Gambit's incessant flirting. She talks about Beast and Storm's recovery. Neither of them blames Donovan for anything. Rogue begs for Donovan to wake up.
Donovan finally does wake up. She sees Rogue asleep in the chair beside her bed, her wavy auburn hair a crazy mess and unruly white streak adding a certain allure. Donovan reaches out and touches Rogue's hair. She doesn't know anything that has happened, even though Rogue has been telling her everything. She just knows, for some reason, that Rogue has been by her side the whole time. And despite all the insanity that has happened, that is all that really matters.
"Rogue…" Donovan whispers, gently touching Rogue's cheek. "Rogue-honey… wake up."
Rogue's pretty green eyes flutter open. She gasps. "Donny, yer awake!" she pauses. "Holy smokes… y' touched me!"
Donovan smiles. "Yeah. Had me a hell of a power nap, let me tell you. And because my skin isn't exactly organic, your power can't register my touch."
They both laugh, happy to be together and not thinking about the terrible events that have passed. They just enjoy each other's company for a few minutes.
Finally, though, things must be discussed. "So.. is Mandy..?" Donovan starts.
"Yeah," Rogue knows that Mandy's death was hard the first time but having to have to go through it again must be hell. "Y' were right, though… She did come t' her senses when she got outta yer head. She was crazy cuz of the lack of substantiality or somethin' from bein' in yer head so long. Once she realized what was wrong, she jus' disappeared."
Donovan nods. "Maybe that's for the best. Living in my head wasn't how we meant for things to be."
"Ah don't think that would be good for any couple," Rogue agrees. She looks at Donovan. "About what Ah said b'fore y' went out again… Look, Ah was jus' bein' kinda weird. Y' didn't have t' take that t' heart…"
"I did, though…" Donovan says. "I called for you to come back. I want to share things with you. It's just a bit much for right now. But I'd like you to stay with me. I have a great place in Boston, a good job, and plenty of room. If we take things slow, I'm sure things would be great."
Rogue's heart soars. She throws her arms around Donovan and kisses her passionately, as she had done while in Donovan's mind. This time, they feel the touch and sensation as well as the emotion.
Donovan will always love Mandy. Nothing will ever change that. But she will always love the memory of the sweet girl who didn't understand Shakespeare so long ago. And that is a fond memory that Donovan wouldn't trade for all the money in the world, which sets her apart from Jennifer, who Donovan decides is probably the last person she should look up if ever in New York.