Dear Koi
By: Lady Sith
A/N: Anyway, this is a letter-format type fic and I hope you enjoy it. (I can't think of anything else to really say... Stupid play rehearsals have sapped my brain of its cells. x.x;; Oi...) And if you can guess who wrote the letter without skipping to the end, I'll give each person who guessed right a Pixy Stix. Ja ne!
Disclaimer: Lady Sith no own ANYTHING. Leave her alone and let her go to sleep. ;-p
Dear Koi,
Koi. It's an interesting word, don't you think? I know that I've never been that kind to you, let alone that loving to you...but you were always my koi. You were always my ai. Yes, it's true. Aishiteru. I only wished that I... That I had managed to tell you sooner.
It's going to be harder for me from this point on. The others are supporting me, but it's not the same. I doubt that it'll ever _be_ the same...ever again. I've always seemed cold and distant to everyone else (my moods seemed to change sometimes--like the winds we finally got to feel on Earth), but you were able to see past all that. You were able to touch my heart. I think that that was the main reason why I started to care for you--because you cared for me first, no strings attached.
You're so brave, did you know that? You faced off against my rejection and you never flinched. You stared down so many things in your lifetime--so many times you stared down Death. So many times you stared down...me. Why did you do all that? You only had to back down and you wouldn't have been hurt so many times. _I_ wouldn't have hurt you so many times. So...why?
I know I don't understand you. I didn't--and still don't--understand why and how you tick. I don't understand how you could be such a kind and caring person while presenting your facade to the world. Not many people understood you; just as not many people understand me. We both have our masks, I guess. You had yours and I had...and still have...mine. The only difference is that you allowed people to sometimes see what lies underneath your mask. Me? I'm still a mystery unto myself.
I'm going to be frank with you, koi. I'm going to miss you. A lot. I'm going to miss that small smile that you sometimes have. I'm going to miss your scent. I'm going to miss the feel of your body against mine, the taste of your skin against my tongue. But, more than all of that, I'm going to miss _you_. Life's a bitch; and I finally understand that saying. Life isn't fair. But, in this world, what is? I just don't know. I just don't know anymore. The only thing that I know is that I'm going to miss you so very much. Which is the reason why I'm writing this letter to place next to your _sleeping_ body. Sleeping... It reminds me so much of the 'to be or not to be' speech that Hamlet speaks. I know that people would be surprised that I like Shakespeare, but you always knew. And it didn't surprise you. (Maybe that's another reason why I love you so much.) 'To sleep, perchance to dream...' Will you be dreaming of me, ai? I'll miss you...
Aishiteru, koi.
~Shinigami