Weeks passed by without any word of any sign of Spot. In his absence, Blush had wilted completely. There was no spring in her step, no laughter in her eyes and no more smiles playing about the corners of her lips. Her eyes were empty and she was so tired she looked ill. Boots had come to Jack after the episode in the bunkroom. And Jack worried about her. He probably could've guessed the reasons for her despondence but he didn't want to address them for fear of pushing her deeper into depression. Finally, though, he had had enough. Blush had taken to sitting on the roof of the lodging house until all hours of the night instead of sleeping - Cowboy and Blush no longer traded stories or laughed themselves to sleep. Jack missed her. But at least he knew where to find her.
********
Staring up at the stars, Blush allowed a tear to roll down her cheek. Closing her eyes, she lay back on the rough stones of the roof and cried.
"Heya, Blush", came the soft voice of Jack Kelley. Blush jumped up, hastily wiping away the salty tears on her cheeks, and attempted a smile for her best friend.
"Hi, Jack."
"Can I sit down?" he decided not to ask about the tears for the moment. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Sure, go ahead Cowboy." This time the smile almost seemed real, thought still a pale reflection of her infectious grins of the past. She obviously appreciated him not asking about her wet cheeks.
"I was jist wonderin' if you're okay, Blush. I'se been pretty worried 'bout you lately - you ain't yerself anymore. An' I was wondering if there was anythin' I could do to help ya - an' don't try ta go sayin; that everythin's fine an' dandy, 'cause I ain't blind kid - I see what's happened to ya, an' I jist wanna help you. So tell me, please." He turned to look at her, pleading with his eyes. Blush caught the look in his eyes and gave a lopsided smirk reminiscent of Spot.
"Can't git anythin' by ya, can I, Cowboy?"
"Blush, it ain't like you gotta look long an' hard to see that there's somethin' up with you - even mush has been askin' about you, and he's the most oblivious of them all. We's all worried about you."
Blush sighed, her smirk disappearing as she looked up at the stars.
"Jack, I dunno what's wrong. Maybe it's nothin' and I jist gotta cold or somethin' - "
"Blush, quit actin' like I'm stupid enough to believe that." He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. He stared her in the face, and she could see that he was trying to read her eyes, something that only Spot had ever been able to accomplish.
"Blush, please jist trust me enough to tell me what's wrong. I ain't gonna judge you or nothin' - I jist wanna help." Her eyes filled with tears and he released her in surprise.
"I didn't hurt ya, did I? Oh, god, Blush, I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta - "
Shaking her head and laughing despite herself at his concern, Blush stopped his apology mid sentence.
"Jack, ya didn't hurt me. I'm fine. Well, my arm's fine." She turned her face away again and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging herself.
"I'm - I'm hurting, Jack." She confessed hoarsely. "I dunno why, or what's gonna make me feel better. I jist hurt inside, ya know? Like my heart's broken or somethin'." She laughed half-heartedly at that last remark; "Though I don't know how it could be." Blush sighed and hugged herself tighter. "I'm hurting, and I jist don't know how to make it stop." Tears began to roll down her cheeks slowly, leaving marks on her pants where they fell.
"Oh, Blush." Jack enveloped her in his arms, and she broken down completely, sobbing against his chest. He rubbed her back soothingly and tried to offer some words of comfort;
"Blush, kid. You'll be okay. I'll make sure you're okay. I'll take care of ya, sweetie."
Blush stiffened involuntarily upon hearing Spot's special nickname for her, and it suddenly dawned on Jack. Pulling away from her slightly, so that he could look into her face, he asked: "Spot?" and she didn't even have to reply. He saw the light in her eyes at the mere mention of his name and the way it went out immediately when she remembered that he was gone. Drawing her back into his arms as she sobbed, he held her close and prayed that Spot knew about this. Because if he hurt Blush, it would kill him inside - provided Jack didn't get to him first.
********
Staring up at the stars, Blush allowed a tear to roll down her cheek. Closing her eyes, she lay back on the rough stones of the roof and cried.
"Heya, Blush", came the soft voice of Jack Kelley. Blush jumped up, hastily wiping away the salty tears on her cheeks, and attempted a smile for her best friend.
"Hi, Jack."
"Can I sit down?" he decided not to ask about the tears for the moment. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Sure, go ahead Cowboy." This time the smile almost seemed real, thought still a pale reflection of her infectious grins of the past. She obviously appreciated him not asking about her wet cheeks.
"I was jist wonderin' if you're okay, Blush. I'se been pretty worried 'bout you lately - you ain't yerself anymore. An' I was wondering if there was anythin' I could do to help ya - an' don't try ta go sayin; that everythin's fine an' dandy, 'cause I ain't blind kid - I see what's happened to ya, an' I jist wanna help you. So tell me, please." He turned to look at her, pleading with his eyes. Blush caught the look in his eyes and gave a lopsided smirk reminiscent of Spot.
"Can't git anythin' by ya, can I, Cowboy?"
"Blush, it ain't like you gotta look long an' hard to see that there's somethin' up with you - even mush has been askin' about you, and he's the most oblivious of them all. We's all worried about you."
Blush sighed, her smirk disappearing as she looked up at the stars.
"Jack, I dunno what's wrong. Maybe it's nothin' and I jist gotta cold or somethin' - "
"Blush, quit actin' like I'm stupid enough to believe that." He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. He stared her in the face, and she could see that he was trying to read her eyes, something that only Spot had ever been able to accomplish.
"Blush, please jist trust me enough to tell me what's wrong. I ain't gonna judge you or nothin' - I jist wanna help." Her eyes filled with tears and he released her in surprise.
"I didn't hurt ya, did I? Oh, god, Blush, I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta - "
Shaking her head and laughing despite herself at his concern, Blush stopped his apology mid sentence.
"Jack, ya didn't hurt me. I'm fine. Well, my arm's fine." She turned her face away again and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging herself.
"I'm - I'm hurting, Jack." She confessed hoarsely. "I dunno why, or what's gonna make me feel better. I jist hurt inside, ya know? Like my heart's broken or somethin'." She laughed half-heartedly at that last remark; "Though I don't know how it could be." Blush sighed and hugged herself tighter. "I'm hurting, and I jist don't know how to make it stop." Tears began to roll down her cheeks slowly, leaving marks on her pants where they fell.
"Oh, Blush." Jack enveloped her in his arms, and she broken down completely, sobbing against his chest. He rubbed her back soothingly and tried to offer some words of comfort;
"Blush, kid. You'll be okay. I'll make sure you're okay. I'll take care of ya, sweetie."
Blush stiffened involuntarily upon hearing Spot's special nickname for her, and it suddenly dawned on Jack. Pulling away from her slightly, so that he could look into her face, he asked: "Spot?" and she didn't even have to reply. He saw the light in her eyes at the mere mention of his name and the way it went out immediately when she remembered that he was gone. Drawing her back into his arms as she sobbed, he held her close and prayed that Spot knew about this. Because if he hurt Blush, it would kill him inside - provided Jack didn't get to him first.