A small sense of invincibility followed Kristina and Peter wherever they went, along with insecurity and a heightened thrill
of the "I know something you don't know" mentality. Though Peter and Kristina were open within each other and their
relationship, they hadn't made a big deal about it...no big dates, not too many special evenings together...it was as though
they were good friends. Though, even when they would occasionally hold hands, something triggered inside both of them,
a sense joy and happiness. Klefton and the doctor's mysterious employer, which left them both on the edge, had left no
kind of warning. Absence of conflict was one thing, but absence of acknowledgment and perceiving an enemy's next move
was another. The longer they were together, left them molded more into a secure surrounding then the always violent
anticipations of the world they were in.
Peter had saved enough money to move out of he and Harry's old apartment and into a smaller one, one that fit his tastes a lot more than the previous one. Harry had left all of the furniture they had bought together to Peter. With out the expense of furniture, things were even smoother for him. Things seemed to be getting better and better for him. Not only was he out and about not existing alone, but living and not living alone. He always had Aunt May, Harry, and even M.J., but now, he had somebody. He could live and be happy. He could watch TV, see the couples happy with each other, and smile to himself, because for once, he felt a part of they were feeling, even though what they had may have been false, he knew his wasn't. That made him feel like he could float.
Kristi never did get called back about the super spider project. She could smile at herself in the mirror and say confidently that she didn't care. She never wanted to give up on things, but this wasn't accepting a defeat, it was an acceptance of something else. Perhaps she edged on her quicker maturity and seriousness about things because of this project, but she wouldn't allow herself to do so again. She had been so closed up and unwilling to share herself except when she felt truly and completely comfortably. With the project gone, she could sigh and not worry that there is something behind something as simple as a sigh when there wasn't. She allowed herself to feel for people, to feel for Peter, to feel for all the things around her….she felt free.
Time had no boundary and lacked existence to them each day they were together. They took their time with each other. There was never anything too mushy; no overpowering, uncontrollable surges of sickening emotions every reached them. Part of it could attest to the fact they neither Peter nor Kristi had ever been in a serious relationship or a relationship period. So foreign were the feelings between them that time was something that needed to be on their side. So many feelings were being discovered and explored each time their eyes landed on each other. They could find comfort, happiness, and many other things that made the world a little more bearable in the mist of hostility.
The relationship had left them a small bit of solace in the chaos the world offered them. At the end of the day, there was always the thought that they would have each other…that it would be enough. Of course, an unspoken thought plagued them: What if their mysterious enemy came to surface with something that would harm not only their day lives, but the people affiliated with them? Kristi and Peter were both left under the security that their identities remained a secret, but the two hoped that with a tone downed relationship, and with them both being more outgoing and forging stronger bridges with those around them, then, should they be found out, no innocent would suffer.
Even with such reasoning, fear was a controlling factor, and such a strong factor it was….
DeMarquise took his time with his plan, as foreign as time was to him. He had stopped counting the weeks and fed off of the thought of Spider Man being miserable without his playmate, Inconnu receiving his prize and finally being able to reek the havoc that he had missed doing for so long it seemed. Research had already been completed and the drug was already deep within its own stages. Time, for DeMarquise, would just not go fast enough.
Inconnu had the patience that would make Buddha jealous. He would spend his time reading, constantly getting updates on how the current serum was going. Though the previous work had been destroyed, it was replicated quickly. The serum would undergo many tasks and tests before it could be classified safe for humans. Inconnu, being a man for challenge, began tests of his own. He was all too well in tuned with how the human brain worked, how things were triggered, even how the human thought is influenced to think certain things. To pass the time, he began to dab in his own studies, inventing his own machine to be used in, of course, manipulation and ultimately pain. This of course, would be used at a later date, perhaps a date in which it would be used in "persuasion"….
……………………………………..
Nina Devun was having her fourth headache of the week when she sat down in her leather seat. She sighed heavily as she looked to the Tylenol bottle that was now empty. Her headache kept coming constantly and it was only 11:30. She placed her tired elbows onto her oak desk that had scattered legal documents on it. Rubbing her temples deeply, she shut her eyes, praying that for once, maybe blocking out her surroundings, would block out the deep pounding that lay inside her head.
Her thoughts fell back to the happenings of the past two weeks. Her headaches came abruptly, some so painful that she had to leave work and go home to rest. She went to the doctor to get checked out, yet he saw nothing amiss. Ever since that Tamier's case, everything was so stressful. Extremely long hours, sometimes 20-hour days. She wanted the case though…she wanted the challenge, whether she was a partner or not.
Her head, pounding incessantly, began to pound more within her head. Shutting off all thoughts of the case, she opened her eyes slowly; at least she thought she opened her eyes. Everything was black in her left eye, yet she could feel her eyelids blinking. This wasn't strange to her now. Within the past two to three days, she felt so weak, yet she didn't complain. There were some times that her left arm would fall limp. She would be holding her brief case when suddenly she would hear it thud next to her. She wouldn't have realized that she had dropped it if not for the sound it made as it hit the ground. She read somewhere that stress could do the funniest things. It could invoke fever, numbness and undoubtedly weakness. Headaches were symptoms also, but this was becoming unbearable. Her head felt as though it were on the brink of being smashed.
Taking a deep breath, she leaned her head against her clammy palm and shut her eyes tighter. She was sweating, yet she was cold. The sweltering end of July heat was exploding outside, but she should not have been sweating within the confinements of the air-conditioned building.
She tried to access her surroundings, but found the task futile. Funny….she wasn't aware of much. Her breathing was becoming labored as she began to black in and out. Was she having a stroke? The first signs were numbness, but never blindness of one eye. The first thing she needed to do was not panic. Quickened breathing would only lead to nothing that could help her at this point.
With her right hand, she reached slowly for her buzzing button before she fell unconscious in her chair.
Kari knocked swiftly on the oak door. "Mrs. Devun?" She turned the knob slowly and peered through the newly opened door. "Mrs. Devun?" She glimpsed toward the woman who sat slumped in her chair, right hand over the phone, left hand dangling lifelessly over the sides of the chair. It was then that the red headed receptionist yelled for help….
"Here is your dress and thanks for shopping at The Evening Gown. I hope your party is a success," Kristi said as she waved toward a short blond girl. Kristi made a small yawn as she glimpsed to her digital watch. It read: 1:24. She was waiting for Amy to get back from her lunch break so she could go on hers. She and Peter had planned to go to lunch that day. She was going to meet him at the Daily Bugle and play it by ear from there.
Hearing someone from the back, she turned around to Amy rushing toward her. Smiling quickly, she said, "Please, you don't have to show such enthusiasm coming back to work. It's only 1:25, you've got five more minutes." Amy wasn't smiling at all, in fact, she looked pale and visibly shaken. She reached out for her arm. "Amy…what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Amy's hazel eyes blinked for a moment before she opened her mouth to answer. "Kristi….i-it's your mom."
Kristi's stomach began to sink quickly as soon as the words left her mouth. "What about my mother?"
"Sh-she's in the hospital."
"Where?"
"Regency Memorial." Kristi stood there for a moment before she bolted toward the door. Thousands of thoughts flooded to her mind. Falling downstairs, a car wreck, her cancer…Hailing a cab quickly, she went to the hospital.
Peter waited outside the newspaper building for twenty minutes before doubt appeared in his head. His mind would tell him that it was lunch break and it was New York after all, but her building was ten minutes away…at the most. If something had happened, she would have called, right? Or maybe she got swamped by work. She always did say how lines of people would come in, all in the same party, looking for a party dress or designs for wedding parties.
Sighing, he looked to his watch once more. It was already two o'clock. Maybe she called to cancel upstairs. He left his bench to go back to his floor. He hadn't received any calls. Furrowing in his eyebrow, he called her store. No answer. He shrugged his shoulders. 'Must be really busy,' he thought. He felt a little disappointed by it though. As corny and as bad as he may sound to himself, he couldn't deny it; he missed her. He was looking forward to seeing her. 'I'll have tonight,' he thought as he bought a sandwich from the vending machine. Yeah…he'd have tonight.
Once Kristi reached the hospital, she threw her money at the cabdriver and ran to the front desk. There was no one there. She drummed her fingers angrily. How can there be a hospital with no one at the front desk!
She looked around quickly as she saw her mother's doctor, John Tate, walk of the elevator in green scrubs and a facemask tied around his neck. "Dr. Tate!" Kristi rushed toward him.
He looked up quickly to Kristi's worried face. Tiredly, he sighed, "Kristi."
"Where is my mother?"
"She in her room now."
"Take me to her, please?"
"Certainly." He walked her slowly to the elevator. Once on there, he prepared himself for an assault of questions that he knew would be coming his way. Strangely, they never came.
The elevator took forever. Dr. Tate was here…he was a specialist in cancers. God, what if he found something? Her mother had been adamant about her visits and every single one she got a clean bill of health. What was going on now? Her mother knows when to see a doctor about something, so why didn't she? Why didn't she tell her? She could have been there for her, been with her. All of these questions, she withheld. Spitting them out would do her no good now. Her foot tapped incessantly on the tile floor until they reached the ninth floor.
Dr. Tate escorted her to her mother's room. It amazed Kristi. She was in such a hurry to get there that once she got there, she was hesitant to go in. Pushing slowly on the door, she peered into the room.
It was small. It had a rocking chair and a green chair in the corner. The room had a bright tone to it, yet there was nothing bright about it. A flower printed curtain hid the bed. Kristi walked slowly toward the beeping near the bed. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the curtain back, almost stepping back in shock. There her mother lay, her skin a deathly shade of white, her eyes shut peacefully. Her head was wrapped with a white bandage, a blood stain on the right side of it. Her body seemed so much smaller…so much more helpless. Kristi's bottom lip began to tremble quickly as tears began to spring from her eyes. She watched in silence as her mother's chest rose up and down slowly with a mask attached to her mouth.
Kristi turned her eyes swiftly to the doctor. Not even aware of the liquid falling from her eyes, she trembled softly, "Wh-what happened?"
Dr. Tate looked down at the tile floor, trying to sum his words up correctly. When he looked back at her, he couldn't say it while looking at her. Her tears were falling effortlessly, still Kristi kept her head and back stiff, attempting to show no emotion. Her tears betrayed her.
Looking back down he said softly, "While she was at work, she passed out. When she was brought here, we learned that s-she h-had-" he stopped himself when he found himself faltering. Swallowing hard, he continued. "We learned a tumor had formed in and near her brain."
Kristi's began to breath slowly as she sniffled slightly. "How is she?"
"We had to go into emergency surgery. Her head was being filled with spinal fluid, which resulted in her blacking out."
Kristi could feel anger rising in her. Though she knew the doctor was not to blame, it had to go somewhere. "How…is…she?"
"We won't know until she wakes up."
"How long will that take?"
"A matter of hours. She's been out for about three…maybe three or four more. Maybe five."
Kristi nodded her head slowly as she turned her gaze back to her mother. She looked so peaceful, a lot more peaceful than she had been in a while. Her shaky hand felt for her mother's paler one. Stroking it she said softly, "I'm here mom..." She wiped away the tearstains on her face, before she whispered again. "I'm here." She positioned herself on the bed and laid down next to her. She looked to the doctor for any sign of argue. When he gave none, she gave her mother a slow kiss on the cheek. She then placed her head on her shoulder like she had done so many times in the past and stayed there.
A nurse came by Nina's room, causing Kristi to stir from her slumber. The nurse smiled down at her. Whispering, she said, "I'm just changing the I.V. bag." Kristi nodded her head numbly as she looked back to her mother's face. Her eyes were still closed, breathing in deeply. Kristi looked to the clock as it just struck 6:01. Kristi had woken up in between hours, looking to see if she was awake, if she had moved, or if Kristi herself had been laying on one of the wires. Kristi laid her head back down onto her, reaching over her chest to stroke her arm.
Nina's eyes opened slowly about an hour later and looked around. Her head still hurt and her neck was difficult to move. Looking downward, she saw Kristi laying by her. Moving her arm slowly, she touched Kristi's sleeping one. "Bebe…" she said from behind the oxygen mask. Kristi stirred. "Bebe…" she moved her arm up Kristi's head and began to stroke her hair. She felt Kristi's body shift as Kristi peered upward. She almost wanted to cry when she saw the tearstains and the red-rimmed eyes. Taking off the oxygen mask, Nina smiled to her daughter as a sign of reassurance. Patting her back, she laid Kristi's head back down, and held her with her arm.
Another hour had passed before either one of them spoke up. "Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"How are you feeling?"
"A little on the groggy side. I haven't eaten anything in a while and you know how cranky I get when I skip meals." To be quite frank, she wasn't feeling too well. Her head was throbbing and it itched. When she reached up to scratch it, she felt the white bandage and figured it not to be a good idea.
Kristi sighed at her mother's attempt at humor. "Mom…."
Her hazel eyes widened. "What? It's a fact."
"Be real with me."
Sighing, she continued. "Well…I'm feeling better than I did earlier today…is today still Wednesday?"
Kristi cringed for a moment. "Yes."
"Then yeah…earlier today." Kristi sat up and peered at her mother. She did seem to have more color to skin, not nearly as deathly as earlier. Her warm hazel eyes looked at Kristi with interest.
Seeing her shake some, Kristi asked immediately, "Are you cold?"
"I don't want to say yeah cause then you'll look at me like a nut since it's almost August."
She made a small smile while speaking in a warning tone. "Mom…."
She shrugged her limp shoulders. "A little. That was just a chill or something."
Kristi placed her hand over her forehead. She did feel warm…a little too warm. "Hold on a sec." Kristi got up and walked out of the room. Looking for the nurse that changed the I.V., she walked to the nurses' station and waited for one of the nurses. When one was free, she asked quickly, "Can I get an extra blanket and someone to check my mother's temperature please?"
"Sure. Hold on." The mid-sixties woman made her way to a utility closet, pulling out a light blue blanket. Following Kristi back to her mother's room, she removed her standard thermometer and took her temperature. She shook her head slightly. "102.3. Kind of high for an adult. Hold on, I'll get a doctor."
"Can she take anything?"
"Well…I can't give her anything without the doctor's orders. We may be able to sweat some of it down." Giving her the blanket, she said, "Let me go find the doctor on duty."
"Could you get Dr. Tate?"
"Sure thing deary."
Kristi pulled up the rocking chair and placed it near the bed. She patted her mother's hand assuringly as she attempted to smile, failing miserably. Looking around impatiently, she said quickly, "I'll be back."
Walking out of the room, she ran into the elderly woman again. "Have you contacted Dr. Tate yet?"
"He's not on duty right now."
"Thanks anyway." Kristi looked around quickly before glimpsing at her watch again. It read 8:23. Her mind went to Peter. She was supposed to have lunch with him and she hadn't called to cancel or anything. He'd understand though. She looked around for a payphone and dialed his number quickly.
"Hi."
A smile came her lips. It was amazing, just hearing his voice made her smile. "Peter hey-"
"I'm not home right now, so after the beep, leave a message and I'll be sure to get back to you soon. Bye!"
Beeeeep. Kristi took a deep breath. "Peter…hey, its Kris. I was calling to apologize about today. I…I got word that my mom was admitted into Regency Memorial and I wasn't thinking about anything else. I probably won't be home tonight or be able to DO anything else until I know more about her. Things are looking somewhat serious…. I'll call you tomorrow with more details. I'm sorry." She sighed heavily before she hung up the phone. It felt good to hear his voice…even on the recorder.
Peter swung around New York. He was getting worried. He hadn't seen or heard from Kristi. It wasn't as though he didn't think she could take care of herself, but the fact was that she didn't cancel lunch and wasn't out tonight, or at least he hadn't seen her. It was well past one when he got back to his apartment. There wasn't much going on crime wise, so he came in early.
He tore his mask off with a sigh. Taking off his red top, he played his phone messages: one from Aunt May, two from Harry, and one from Kristi. Hearing her message, he felt relieved, but also saddened. Why was he relieved that her mother was in the hospital he argued with himself. He was just happy that she was alright, but what about her mother? Something crept into his head. This obviously wasn't a good thing, but something else nagged at him about it. He just couldn't figure it out.
Kristi stayed at the hospital all night with her mother. She woke up at eight to the sounds of the nurse moving things around, preparing her mother for her departure to get x-rays. Kristi looked down at her rumpled clothes and stifled a yawn. She figured that she could get to her home in 15 minutes, take a shower in ten, and be back in 15. Giving her mother a quick peck on the cheek, she left for her apartment.
Once she got there, she called in to work and told them she wouldn't be able to come in for that day and maybe not the next couple of days. They were more than happy to oblige her. Kristi made it back to the hospital at nine. Her mother had been ushered in and out of her room all morning for x-rays, blood tests and loads of other things. By the time she came back and stayed there for a while, it was past twelve. Settling in her bed, she flipped the TV to Bold and Beautiful. Turning to her daughter she said with a small smile, "I've been waiting to talk to you for the past three hours. What was I going to say?" She placed a hand to her chin before snapping her fingers. "I remember now! Hey Bebe."
She smiled at her mother's sarcasm. "How are you?"
"Don't I at least get a hey first? All the running around they made me do, I think I deserve it."
Kristi rolled her brown eyes at her mother playfully. "Hey mom. How are you?"
"Well…they fed me some sort of yogurt stuff. Look in that bowl." She pointed to the plastic carton. "How would you feel after eating…." She glimpsed at the label, "Reduced fat, three calorie mango sherbet yogurt. It's made without dairy products. How can that even exist?" She shrugged her shoulders before taking another spoonful. Hinting toward the cup, she said, "You want the rest?"
Kristi shook her slowly. Leaning back in the chair, she rested her hand onto her stomach. "No thanks."
Nina looked around her tray. "How about some purple grapes? They aren't too bad."
"I'm not hungry."
"When did you last eat?"
Kristi thought about it for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. She hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. She knew better than to tell her mother she hadn't eaten something. That was something equivalent to suicide. "I don't know."
A dark brow rose. "You better know. Now tell me, when did you last eat?"
"In the morning."
"Okay…I was the one who taught you how to half tell the truth to your father and you're gonna try it on me? No dear, that's not gonna fly. Your last meal was yesterday?"
She could hear it coming now. Even from a hospital bed, she could find something to complain about. "I'm fine."
"Running on empty is not fine. Sweets, you've been up for who knows how long, and you didn't get much sleep. I could hear you. Why don't you get some coffee or something?"
Kristi stifled a yawn. "I'm fine."
"You need coffee and something to eat. I don't want you bunking next to me because of malnourishment."
"Mom…."
"Kristina Marie…"
"I don't want to leave. You just got in here and are actually staying here and now you're kicking me out."
"Go dear…"
"Do you want-"
"What I want is for you to go get something to eat. Go get a sandwich or something. I'll be here when you get back back." Nina shook her head quickly. She had never repeated herself before.
"The way you've been going in and out of here, I wonder."
"I'll kick and scream before I let them take me out of here with out you being b-back." She stuttered this time. She looked up quickly to watch Brooke and Sheila face off.
Kristi eyed her carefully. Had she just stuttered? She never did that before. She got up and walked to the door in search of a vending machine.
Peter had a sandwich before he came to the hospital. He stopped in a florist shop and picked up some pale pink carnations and a hybrid tea red rose. Finding the right room, he knocked softly on the door. He didn't like hospitals. They frightened him slightly and were a reminder…
"Come in," was what he heard on the other side of the door. Opening it slowly, he peered in. He saw a woman look down from the TV with a bright grin. "Peter! Well hello there."
He gave her a small smile. "Hi Mrs. Devun." He brought the pale pink carnations to her nervously. "I got these for you." He shifted in his stance while he stood there.
She took the carnations and held them up to her nose. Inhaling deeply, she said happily, "Oh they smell heavenly. What a thoughtful man you are." He blushed at the comment. He stood awkwardly near the bed, but not by it. She signaled to the chair by the bed. "Come on! You can sit. I promise, whatever it is I've got, it isn't contagious. Besides, I don't bite or anything so you won't get rabies. Watching you stand up makes me feel like I'm on display or something."
Sitting down in the seat, he said quickly, "That wasn't my intention at all."
She chuckled softly. "I know it wasn't. I can tell you must not like hospitals too much huh?"
He glimpsed at the white washed walls. "Yeah….I guess I have a phobia of them."
"Well that's okay. I don't like them that much either." She nodded her head toward her tray. "The food isn't five star quality, but eh, its food, I guess."
He smiled again. "Yeah…it is." He still held the rose between his thumb and index finger. "Is Kristi here?"
Nina's voice rose a decibel in false anger. "Oh I see how it is. You come in here, woo me with flowers and then shoot me down by asking for my daughter." She shook her head at him before looking at her flowers once more.
"I didn't mean-" he began to apologize, but stopped when he saw the big grin on her lips. He was always nervous about making a good impression on her
She reached over and patted his hand. "Smile! Lighten up! It's not that bad in here, I promise. But to answer your question, she is. I sent her out to get some food. The girl hadn't eaten since yesterday morning! I thought I taught her to eat three meals a day. But hey, to pass the time until she gets back, you can stay in here with me. After all, I am the best next thing…being her mother and all."
He always liked being her presence. She had such a happy personality that it rubbed off on you. He smiled again. "Okay."
Shifting in her bed, she asked, "So Peter, you're a photographer, right?"
He nodded his head. "Yes ma'am."
"The Daily Bugle, right?"
"Yes ma'am."
Her face scrunched up. "AH…I don't like them much. I had to deal with a prenuptial agreement with the owner….Jameson? Unbearable man…" She shrugged the memory away. "Anyway, a newspaper is a newspaper. I normally read it to see the pictures of Spider Man and read the story they have about him."
Peter sunk in his chair some. "You buy the newspaper to read that?"
"When they have Spider Man on there, its turned into a tabloid. I think its hilarious how they tell bull faced lies about him." Peter relaxed in his chair. "I saw him in action once. Unbelievable. But yeah, who takes those?"
He blushed a little before answering. "I do."
She widened her eyes in excitement. "What! You do? They are wonderful."
He shrugged his shoulders modestly. "Well, they aren't a Pulitzer Prize winner, but they're good enough."
"Well that's wonderful. If yo u ever see Spider Man, tell him that when I get out of here, I'd be more than happy to be his counsel. I'd sue the pants of Jameson for slander. It would be more of a vendetta to me than him maybe, but hey, everybody wins!"
"I don't think he'd be too happy about going into a courtroom," Peter said as he looked down at the rose as he rolled it between his fingers. Him sue Jameson? That would be great. He could see the headlines now, "Battle of human rights for the Arachnid Spider Man." That would be great…"
"Well it's not that hard to get some paperwork drawn up to protect him. He's not on trial, Jameson would be." She smiled to herself at the thought of putting Jameson behind bars. He kicked up so much sand about that agreement…he was for sure the reason of one of the few gray hairs in her head. "But anyway, back to your photography. What are some of your other works?"
Other works? No one really asked him that before. He cleared his throat softly before beginning. Relaxing into the seat, he leaned back when he spoke. "Well, I took some pictures of the Jazz festival in Central Park."
An eyebrow rose. "You got Sal 'the sax' Samson to pose for you? That was you?"
He rubbed a hand over his neck. "Well, yeah." He gave a small smile when he saw her face brighten. Holding his head up, he said quickly, "He's really nice. He wouldn't pose for many people because they were so demanding and kinda mean about it. I went up to him and asked him. One thing he did though before he took the picture was have a conversation with me. He called me an 'artist'. He really was nice about it."
With a dropped jaw, she outstretched her hand. "May I shake your hand?" She shook it in the air until he took it.
Taking it, he said with a chuckle, "I take it you're a fan?"
"Oh I love his sound! You don't hear much about him, but he's a legend! He does the old school jazz….not any of this modern phony sounding jazz. There are some good modern jazz artists out there, I'll give them that, but not many. Do you like jazz?" If he did, that would be the icing on the cake for her.
"I like a little. I'm not into a lot of it, but I know some of the classics. Miles Davis and Duke Ellington. They have good stuff."
Yeah, she loved this boy. She pretended to faint in onto her pillow. "Can I adopt you?"
His voice vibrated with gently laughter. "Fan of them too?"
She hit her head softly. "Oy! In the worse kind of way way." She shook her head once more. Why were her words doubling? Pushing that aside, they began an in depth conversation about the rise and fall of jazz. Nina, of course, led the conversation. "Okay…now that we've gotten to know each other a little better, let me ask you something. Tell me if I'm being too nosy."
He had a confused look on his face. "Um…okay."
"Now seriously, you gotta tell me if I'm being nosy, cause you seem like the type who wouldn't want to tell me." Snapping her fingers together, she said quickly, "How about this, don't answer, and I'll take the hint, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay….how do you feel about Kristi?" Wow…she was blunt. When she saw him blush, she said quickly, "Aww! You have rouji! Alò bèl! You like her a lot huh?"
Her, Kristi, and that Creole! He could only guess it was something good. "Yes ma'am."
"Hmm, well, how do you feel though?"
"Um….I can't really say."
She was hoping she would get some dirt out of him. She wasn't really using him….just retrieving information from him. There was nothing wrong with that. "Well if you want to keep it to yourself, you can."
Peter wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. To just say yes would be an understatement. It wasn't a common thing for him to experience happiness with someone else romantically. So, he just nodded his head simply. "No, I mean…." He sighed for a moment. Trying to get his thoughts together, he started again. "It's special. Wait…" he couldn't get his mind together. This wasn't something he had planned on talking about with her mother. "I….I can't describe it or word it." He looked down at the rose he was holding. It's white body laced with red captivated his eyes for some reason. "I'm not very good with words." His hands began to fiddle with the paper that was wrapped around the flower.
She watched him as he struggled. It was at this point that she absolutely loved the boy. "Well, not only are you bèl but you like jazz also!" She nodded her head knowingly. "You are a good person…I like you a lot." She leaned and whispered. "Don't tell Kristi. I think she'll get jealous."
"Your secret is safe with me."
Sitting back in her bed, she had a complacent smile on her lips. "I want you to promise me something, hmm?"
"Okay."
"Take care of my Bebe. She's strong, but perhaps not strong enough on her own."
He didn't know what to think of that. He would always be there for Kristi, but it sounded as though her mother was preparing for the worst. Nodding his head, he said quickly, "Yes ma'am."
Nina gave him a quick look over before smiling softly at him. "You're good for her. You're a fine young man…"
Returning her smile, he said softly, "Thank you."
Just then, there was a swift knock at the door. "Mom?"
"Ah Bebe, I have a male visitor. You can't come in yet ." She gave Peter a quick wink with her face full of mischief. Whispering, she said to Peter, "Watch how much sand she kicks up."
"Male visitor?" Kristi opened the door quickly. "Mom, what are you doing rendezvousing with males in a hospital! You know you need your rest until the doctors can fig….ure….out…." her voice trailed off when she saw Peter hop up from his seat, acknowledging her presence by getting up from his seat. "P-peter?" A smile crept to her lips. "Hey."
Peter stared intently at her. She looked as though the air had been knocked from her. "Hey Kris." When she continued to look dazed, he asked quickly, "Kris…are you okay?"
She blinked once before speaking again. "I'm fine. I just didn't think I'd see you here."
Nina interrupted. "Of course he'd be here! His favorite Devun is here! And he wanted to pay his respects to me since he was on his way."
Peter had rolled the rose between his fingertips a few times before he said something about it. "Um…this is for you." He handed her the flower.
Sniffing it, she said softly, "You know you didn't have to."
Shrugging his shoulders, he promptly placed his hands in his pockets. "There was a deal at the florist shop, buy a dozen, get one free." Smiling, he said, "Besides, you should get flowers more often."
"Are you on your lunch break?"
"Yeah. Matter of fact," he glimpsed at his watch, "I should get going now if I want to get back on time."
Attempting to hide her disappointment, she said a quick, "Oh."
Giving a small smile, he asked, "I could come by after work." He turned his head swiftly to Nina. "That is…to see you of course," he said with humor. "After all, you are my favorite Devun."
Kristi punched him playfully. "You were hitting on my mom?"
Nina spoke up quickly. "No…I fess up, I was hitting on him. The whole bouquet of carnations and his liking of Duke Ellington made me a hook, line and sinker."
He chuckled lightly. Coming to her bed, he leaned down to give her a quick hug. "Bye Mrs. Devun. I hope you get out of here soon."
She hugged him back tenderly. "You and me both…" Standing back up, he walked to Kristi. He gave her a hug, his face leaning by her cheek. Leaving a quick peck, he said, "See you later?"
"I hope." Smiling back at her, he headed toward the door.
Once it was closed, Kristi turned around to a loud "aww." She rolled her eyes at her mother. "Mom, cut it out."
She held up her hands in surprise. "Cut what out? I'm drunk off of these intoxicating flowers." She held them up to her nose once more, when they fell from her hands. Her eyebrows furrowed inward.
Kristi raised an eyebrow. She dropped the bouquet before they reached her nose. She watched her mother eye her hand warily. "Mom…what's been going on?"
Before she could answer, Doctor Tate walked in. "Hello ladies."
Nina threw a quick smile his way. "Hey doc."
Kristi turned her attention from her mother to him. "What news do you have?"
"Puzzling and I'm afraid disturbing news."
"Disturbing?"
His green eyes looked like they went a shade lighter. "Yes. As you and I know, your mother was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. She was in remission for years, yet it appears that the cancer has resurfaced."
Nina shifted in her bed. "This deals with the lymph nodes, correct?"
He nodded his tanned bald head. "Yes, but what troubles me…what troubles me is that the lymph nodes have had large growths in the cervical region. Nina, has your throat been sore or neck been stiff?"
She shook her head slightly. "Not so much my throat sore, but my neck was terribly stiff when I woke up this morning. I just figured my body was getting used to not having its perapedic mattress," she said with a small chuckle.
He gave her a sad smile. John Tate had always admired Nina for her resilience, but he knew that it wouldn't be enough to save her. "The problem is that there is a tumor growing along the right side of your neck." He walked toward her bed and held out a mirror. Turning her head slightly, he heard her wince. "Its hurts?"
She gritted her teeth for a moment. "Not really. I just figured I wouldn't move it, it wouldn't bother me."
"Can you turn your head slightly to the left?" She tightened her eyes and shifted her head. She was surprised by how difficult of a task it was. He ran is finger down her throat to the base. "Notice the swelling?"
Nina glimpsed downward to peer into the mirror. Reaching her hand up, she felt down her neck. Indeed there was swelling and a small lump. She sighed heavily and pushed the mirror away gently. Looking down at the bed, she clasped her hands around her flowers. "Why is there a bandage on my head and my hair gone?"
Kristi's eyes shot up toward the doctor. "You didn't tell her?"
It was his turn to sigh heavily. "We thought it would be wise not to until we could somehow get a better grasp on the situation."
Nina never lifted her head. "Do you?"
"The more we learn, the more confusing it gets. There happens to be a rapidly growing tumor in your brain also."
Nina's head slowly looked up. She peered at his dull green eyes. "What?"
He walked away from the right side of her bed and over to what looked like a small window. He hooked its plug into the outlet. "From what we can gather, a rogue cancerous cell made its way through your nervous system by way of the blood stream. It implanted itself into your brain tissue and began to reproduce at a rapid rate."
Kristina was baffled. How could that happen in less than two weeks? "Why didn't you catch this? A tumor can't grow over night."
"No…they can't, but something triggered that cell to reproduce at rapid rates. The tumor along the side of your neck has also grown rapidly. Nina, you complained to me before about headaches and I passed it off as stress. This is why." He pulled out a black and white x ray photo from a brown envelope he had with him. He placed it on the "window" and flipped the switch. It had a bean shaped object on it. "I had these x rays done when you came in. This was exactly 13 days ago." He pointed to key points on the photo. "Look at this…no growths, nothing out of the ordinary." Sighing, he pulled out two other photos. "Now, these are x rays we took fours hours ago and two hours ago."
Kristi made a small gasp. The bean shaped object now had what looked like half of a ball attached to it. "How can this be? This…this isn't natural."
"Nothing about a tumor is natural, but this is the most unnatural thing, as tumors go, I've ever seen. In my medical profession, I've seen cancerous cells make there way through the body, resulting in tumors elsewhere, but never have I seen one develop so quickly. It's unheard of. The sheer size of it now must indicate an enormous growth rate. I'm shocked and sorry to say that I'm surprised you're still alive."
Kristi bit her lip. "W-why?"
"The rate is so quick, it cause her brain to shift drastically and quickly. Her body's equilibrium would have been thought to never have been able to adapt to such a dramatic change. The brain shifted to the side in such a way that spinal fluid began to envelop the brain, thus resulting in you passing out from the pressure. Have you had any symptoms within the last four days?"
"Well, there was an instance where my headaches kept going with no end."
"Did you experience any loss of vision, loss of movement on your left side of your body at all?"
"I would drop a few things and my vision would go in and out a few times in one eye."
"Which eye?"
"My left."
He shook his head slightly. "Just what I feared."
"What?"
"You had the symptoms, but they were mild. A tumor this size should have resulted in much more dramatic symptoms. How long would your vision go out?"
"No more than a minute minute."
"What did you say?"
She sighed loudly. "No more than a minute."
"No, you doubled your words. Have you stuttered any?"
Kristi chirped in. "She did once."
"It's just now beginning to affect your speech. The puzzling thing is how the blazes did this thing get so big and why aren't you an any worse shape."
"How much more worse can I get? I'm shaking like a leaf and my head is pounding like someone is smashing it against a wall."
"Why didn't you tell us? Peter and I wouldn't have bothered you if we'd known."
She shot her eyes up. "What good would it do me?" She looked back down at the flowers with a smile. "Besides, laughing with you two and talking with folks makes me feel better. I guess it's a psychological thing…" She looked back up seriously. "I already talked to the nurse. You won't let me have any medication."
Kristi turned her gaze to the doctor. "Why not?"
He took the photos down and placed them into their brown envelope. "We need to analyze this thing more….figure out what upsets it and what doesn't."
"Wait, you said she went into emergency surgery. Why didn't you remove it?"
He grimaced at the thought. "It's not that simple. The tumor is on a part of the brain essential for vision, speech, and parts of memory. We didn't know what we were dealing with or how much of the brain was already affected. We've just now realized that brain activity is going on within the tumor, but a small percentage. The percentage is large enough to make it appear as though things are okay."
"So this tumor is acting as part of the brain?"
"Not really. It is engulfing the brain tissue, not necessarily killing it immediately. So part of the brain activity is still continuing within the tumor, but the tumor is dissolving part of the brain matter slowly."
Nina shook her head with a confused look on her face. "Why can't you take it out?"
"Because…the tumor is malignant. It's deeply embedded inside of the brain. Removing it would result in you being in a vegetable state or worse. And because your lymphatic system is weakened because of the cancerous cells, we didn't want to risk infection. We were too fearful of medicinal injections because we weren't sure if your body would accept or reject in its scramble to be rid of this. Your body is weak now…and more prone to infections since the lymphatic system is a strong part of your immune system."
Kristi shook her head slowly. The whole thing was incredible. A tumor coming out of nowhere, while containing vital parts of the brain that it is slowly digesting. It sounded like something from a horror movie. "What is there that you can do?"
"Well…we've sent your MRI's to Harvard to see if they can come up with a diagnosis of how to go about this."
"But what can we do?" Nina shook her head at her daughter's plea. She knew where this would take her….She was not a pessimist, but there is a difference between accepting what is in front of you and being a pessimist. She just patted Kristi's trembling hand. She was nervous; she could feel it with every vibration made.
"All we can do is…wait, and pray this thing doesn't grow any faster."
"If it does?"
"Well, surgery could be an option, but then there's the great chance of infection, falling into a coma or death. Even then, that would be to remove the excess parts of it. If we did succeed, it would leave you in a vegetable state."
"Can I have the choice of surgery or not?"
Kristi shot her eyes toward her mother. "What do you mean 'not'?"
Nina ignored her and repeated her question. "Can I have the choice?"
Dr. Tate looked at her warily. He knew that she knew how grave this was. Kristi, on the other hand, did not. That much was evident at the shock on her face. He nodded his solemnly. "Of course." He couldn't blame her. She must be going through hell, constant pain and no medication available to take for it except perhaps the smallest dosages of Tylenol possible.
"Good. I want to tell you right now, I'm not looking to be a cauliflower when this is all over." He couldn't blame her. She must be going through hell, constant pain and no medication available to take for it except perhaps the smallest dosages of Tylenol possible. She shifted once more in her bed in an attempt to get comfortable. "There's nothing you can do about the headaches? I think I still have a fever also."
"Well, we're giving you small dosages of Tylenol to help with the fever, and are praying that tumor doesn't react violently to acetaminophen. The headache is a product of the tumor, so it may react differently to the medicine. We're hoping the Tylenol will help with the pain in that area also. If that doesn't work, we'll try small dosages of Ibuprofen. I want to stay away from aspirin because it might upset your heart. That's really all I can do, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry."
He placed a hand solemnly on her shoulder. "I only wish that there was more I could do."
She reached at her shoulder to pat his hand. "I know you do John."
"Well, I-" he stopped quickly when he felt a buzzing by his pants. " Hold on one second." He pulled out a small black beeper. Sighing hard, he put the beeper away. "I've got a patient on the floor below you. We'll talk some time later huh?"
Nina squeezed his hand gently. "Yeah."
His tall stature made its way to the white door. Before opening it, he turned around quickly. "You know that if I could do something…I would. You know that right?"
She smiled at him. "I know."
He nodded his head slowly. "Well…I'll be dropping by later."
"Looking forward to it. Maybe we can have dinner together. That is, if you don't mind that stuff they 'chicken.'" She smiled to herself when she saw him shake his head at her with a chuckle. When he closed the door, Nina turned back to Kristi. Holding the flowers, she said, "Well, that was productful."
Kristi shook her head at her. Why was she treating this like it was a joke! "Mom, why didn't you say something about this before! They may have been able to catch it or something."
She sighed hard. "Well…I honestly didn't think it was anything. I had a check up with Tate two weeks ago. Nothing was wrong. I had headaches, told him about them. He found nothing wrong. Chalked the headache and tiredness to stress because of that case I'm working on. Then a few days ago, my sight would go in and out and I would drop things. Stress can do a lot of things to the human body. I read about it, it can induce fevers, sickness-"
"Stress does not cause your vision to be impaired in your left eye. Stress does not cause you to drop things from your left arm. Stress causes increase in blood pressure, and maybe fever, but not a fever of 102!"
Nina, for the first time at the hospital, narrowed her eyes in submersed anger. "Excuse me dear DAUGHTER, but your MOTHER does not feel like being reprimanded today." The last thing she needed on her mind was that blame was being thrown her way.
Kristi held her tongue. Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry mom…I just, I just wish you would have called me when something was wrong and you knew it." Kristi shut her eyes for a moment before leaning back in the seat. "You know how much I worry."
"Why do you think I didn't tell you? You don't need to be stressed out by such things. You always was a dramatic child when it came to me and this thing."
This thing? This was thing was what claimed a good bit of her social life with chemotherapy and doctors appointments. "Who is being dramatic! Are you not fathoming this? Did you not hear what he said! You could have died. I would have known nothing. How does that help my nerves?" Kristi shrieked.
Nina squinted her eyes tightly. Reaching out, she patted her daughter's hand blindly. "Darling…calm down, you're beginning to yell….Just chill." Hearing Kristi take a few deep breaths, she continued. "I'm still sitting here. I'm going to be here for a while."
"How can you be so sure?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm a fighter. Even you should know that, Bebe."
Her mother was going to wear her down until she admitted defeat. "I know mom."
"Good. Then stop worrying. Now tell me, what did you eat for lunch?"
Shutting her eyes, she shook her head with a quick chuckle. "Soup and salad."
"What! Why are you acting like a bird! Oy." Kristi shook her head once more before starting to smile.
Kristi stayed with her mother the rest of that day and every day for the past week. The people at her work were very sympathetic. During the time there, Nina received flowers and cards of every kind. Every time she was rolled into the room from x rays, it seemed as though someone had left some flowers. Before long, it was beginning to look more like a florist shop.
Even though the flowers boosted her spirits and mind health, it simply couldn't do the same for her physical health. The tumor had grown all together three inches in three weeks. The difficult task was extracting fluid and tissue from it because it had hardened so. There was some spark of hope when the doctors first encountered it. It was softer, now, it was a solid ball of tissue. Moving from the brain, the doctors concentrated on the tumor growing vertical in her neck. The doctors were able to use mild anesthesia to remove the tumor with ease. It left a minor scar…
Five days after the surgery in her neck, the tumor in her brain had grown another three quarters of an inch, causing it to bulge slightly from her head. Word had gotten back from Harvard. There had been reports of rapid tumor growths much like this one, but the baffling question was why was she still alive, still able to talk and still have almost all normal functions? The shifting and deterioration of her brain caused her to have a slight lag in the left side of her mouth and a small droop in her left eye. Other than that, she was fine.
Another four days later, Nina had lost almost all functions with her left arm. Her vision began to go out more and her headaches were unrelenting. Her words began to double more and stuttering became more evident. More and more spinal fluid had to be drained from her head constantly. Things were to the point that Nina refused the drainage processes. Her head began to throb more to the point that she couldn't take the opening and reopening of her head. She enjoyed the company, but now, even her happiness in that was fading.
Her body was weakened drastically. There were times that she couldn't sit up. Harvard reported that a tumor like her's was possible, but very rare. What puzzled them was that she stayed alive for so long. Their puzzlement was all too soon going to be justified.
So this is goodbye
So this is how you say it
These are the words It's the voice you're using
It's the picture you've seen
Nina was watching "Whose line is it anyway?" Her skin was pale and her breathing was resuming its labored nature that it had when she was first admitted. She was so tired….She cleared her throat. "Bebe, are you happy?"
So this is goodbye
So this is how you say it
This is the time it takes you
It didn't take you a lot now did it?
It didn't hurt you a lot now did it?
Kristi stopped watching the screen and turned her glance to her mother. "Ma, what kind of question is that?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said with a small smile. "A simple one."
"No, I'd rather be in your place."
Nina shook her head with a sigh. "Darling, I don't think I could handle losing you."
"You won't…and I'm not gonna lose you either."
"Bebe-"
So this is goodbye
So this is how you spell it
Where you place it in your mouth
Kristi shook her head quickly before shutting her tired eyes. She held up her hand quickly in protest. "Mom don't say things like this. Just….don't….do it. You've always been strong enough to fight anything. You've fought so long, don't give up like this."
Nina shook her head slowly. "I'm tired Kristi."
"You've always been here for me and you always will be." Kristi opened her eyes quickly. "You'll be with me…"
She gave a small smile. "I'll always be here, but not like this."
"Stop it mom."
What happens if I didn't hear you?
What happens if it wasn't serious?
For the first time there, Nina raised her voice. "No, you stop it. You've got to face this. You'll have to eventually." Her small form slumped into her bed. "I'm not blind to what's going on. I'd be an idiot to act like nothing is going on. I'm not going to build myself on false hopes, and I will not do that to you either." She shut her eyes tightly for a moment before she opened them again. "I'm not going to be here…I know this. I just want this to be over...I'm so tired." She shut her eyes for a moment as she remembered the papers she signed not to long ago...
Refusing to be revived should her heart fail to beat or she be deemed brain dead because of the rapid growth of her cancer. If she was revived, she would be in a stupor, unable to talk, but always being able to feel the constant pain that would be present. She shut her eyes at the thought, gritted her teeth and finished her thought. "But you always remember this: I'll always be right here with you. As long as you remember me, I'll be here. Can you do that that?" She began to double her words again…
Kristi cringed when she heard it. "Of course."
It had already started.
Well I was around
Maybe it was you I came to see
Maybe it was you who invited me
Her breathing was already becoming labored as she grabbed Kristi's hand quickly. "Then you've got to learn to let go. I'll be here." She turned her head from her and back to the TV screen. "Now tell me, do you love that Parker kid?" Chuckling, she said quickly, "He's quite a hottie if I say so myself."
Kristi smiled to herself. "Yes…I think I do."
Her head began to pound. "Are are you happy with him?"
"Yes. Most definitely."
Her body began to ache. "Would you you do anything for him him?"
"I believe I would."
She patted her hand. "That's my Bebe…so back back to my original question, are you happy?"
"Yes."
"Then promise me me something."
"Anything."
She was so tired...it was so hard to keep stay awake..."I want you to always stay stay strong, no matter what. I want you to stay strong and think with your head and heart. It's very important that you remember to do both both. You must always be strong enough to do what you feel and know to be right. Can you promise that that?"
"Yes mom."
"Okay then…Always be strong and let go of your fears…Believe…" She couldn't hold out much longer... Smiling toward Kristi again, she said, "I'm tired dear."
Kristi knew she was tired….It was about time her body had rest. "Rest mom."
Nina swallowed hard. "I think…I think I'll sleep now." Her hazel eyes fluttered for a moment, but never shut themselves. "Love you Bebe."
I remember your eyes were on me
I remember your eyes were on me
Kristi reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "Love you too mom…" Kristi watched her form relax into the white hospital sheets. Hearing a quick gasp, Kristi shut her eyes tightly. Nina released her hand and her body fell completely lax.
Kristina didn't even hear the machine's long beep…she didn't see the nurse rush in. She was shuffled out of the room quickly as doctors came rushing into the small room. Kristi was not herself, but beside herself. She didn't feel that her legs were moving or hear the people talking to her; she felt as though she floated out of the room. Lifting her head slowly, her eyes wandered to a dark figure looking in the window of her mother's room.
The figure turned to her quickly before making his way down the hall. Kristi was too out of it to even find out where the figure was heading. Instead, she replaced his spot at the window and watched the doctors work in vain.…
Nina Denise Devun died at 9:42 pm.
Goodbye...
So this is good bye- Stina Nordenstam