Title: Monica Honey.
Author: Tracy
Category: DRR
Keywords: Doggett angst
Spoilers: Nope. Audrey Pauley references, but that's it.
Website: http://www.geocities.com/blu_starr1
Notes: My first DRR fic. Any notes, feedback, would be great. Should I crawl back under my rock or continue working on the nice little fluffy piece I've got brewing?
Monica honey? I need you to open your eyes. Move your hand. Wriggle your toes. Anythin', just show them that you're still in there. The doctors, nurses, even Scully - they all think you're gone. But they're wrong. I know you're still here. I can feel it. I can feel you. An' if I let 'em pull the plug, I let 'em kill you. 'S not gonna happen. You know it's not. But I need a sign, somethin', anythin' from you, because it's getting harder and harder to stall 'em. Just a little help Mon. Just a little somethin' so that they don't think I'm outta my mind. Crazy people don't have much leeway with doctors, and short of shootin' the sanctimonious son of a bitch, there's no other way to stop him disconnectin' the machine. He wants to cut you up Mon. Wants to harvest your organs. That butcher comes anywhere near you with his greedy knife. . . I'm tryin' real hard, but I'm losin' patience. With everyone.
Monica baby? Open your eyes. I never told you before, but I could get lost in your eyes. Did you know they have a way of changing colour dependin' on your mood? When you're happy and carefree they're almost hazel. When you're angry or sad or pensive they're darker – the green fleks merge into the brown leaving them a luminous sherry colour. They were dark that night, in the car. What was that? Desire? Lust? I always had the fantasy in the back of my head that we'd get together one day. Having you here, working with you and seeing how amazing you are every day. . . well, it's complicated. Gave me thoughts that I probably shouldn't be having about my partner. But fantasies are harmless, right? Except, if I'm honest with myself, it was a lot more than that. It was a need. A belief. That one day was always just around the corner. I refuse to believe that our one day is gone. I refuse to believe that I've wasted all this time for nothing. I refuse to believe that I'll never have the chance to tell you that . . . hell, I just refuse to accept any of this. If I don't accept it, then it's not happening. Open your eyes Mon, and our 'one day' will start today. Now.
Monica sweetheart? Just open your eyes and I promise everything will be different. I'll do whatever you want – be whoever you want. I know I'm not the most open person in the world. I know I can do better. Hell, I sure as shit know that you can do better. But if you open your eyes I'll never keep anythin' from you again. You want me to tell you how I'm feelin' ten times a day? I'll do it. You want me to loosen up and open my mind to extreme possibilities? Consider it done. Whatever you want, I'll do it. For you.
Monica darlin? You're right. I am a dog person. But you were wrong when you said you couldn't ever see me disappointin' anybody. I knew it as soon as the words left your mouth. You knew it seconds later as I got out of the car without kissin' you, without invitin' you in. I'm not an idiot. I could read the signals you were throwing my way. It's killin' me that if I had done what my body was screamin' for me to do then you wouldn't be here in this bed. And I wouldn't be going out of my fuckin' mind.
Hell, who am I kidding? I'm just a chicken shit loser who'll probably never have the balls to tell you how much I love you.
But Monica love? Just try.
Mon?
Please?
End.