Chapter 5
"They can't have gotten much further," Trapper gasped. He was getting tired and his injuries were taking their toll. Ginger too was not faring well. Her arm was in so much pain that she had to bite back the tears. She said nothing as they plodded along in the darkness.
"Need a rest?" Trapper asked.
Ginger nodded numbly. They both lay down in the middle of the road. Their awareness of danger had disappeared; they were too tired and ailing to care.
Trapper stood ten minutes later. He thought that Ginger would too, but she had fallen asleep. No wonder, Trapper thought to himself. They'd spent a day walking, with nothing to eat and little to drink. Trapper was even starting to miss the Mess Tent.
He picked Ginger up, mindful of her arm, and started to walk again. "They can't have gone that far," he kept muttering to himself as he trudged along.
What if he'd taken a wrong turn? He'd be in even more hot water than he had been in half an hour before. He came to his senses when he heard Hawkeye's voice calling out.
"Trapper!" It echoed. "Trapper! Ginger!"
"Here!" Trapper called back. He walked more swiftly. "Hawkeye?"
Hawkeye soon caught sight of Trapper and jogged towards him. "What happened?" he asked, seeing Ginger in Trapper's arms.
"Broke her arm," Trapper said breathlessly as Hawkeye took some of her weight. "She fell asleep, thought it best to leave her that way."
"Good thinking," Hawkeye replied. "We're a mile from camp."
"A mile? That's great!" Trapper yelled almost too loudly.
"Shh, you wanna wake up the war?" Hawkeye hissed.
"Oh, yeah," Trapper replied, more quietly.
"Guess who we met on the way?" Hawkeye began.
"General MacArthur, busking*," Trapper guessed.
"Close. BJ, drunk as a skunk."
"BJ? Out here?"
"Yep."
"Why does he always get drunk at the least convenient of times?"
"He learns from Henry," Hawkeye replied. "Klinger's waiting with him. Know what he said?"
"Where am I?"
"He said, 'I've found you, I knew I'd find you,' something like that."
"He set out to find us, drunk, and made it half a mile?"
"We really ought to watch him and that Still, until he learns the right and wrong times to get drunk," Hawkeye said as they neared Klinger and BJ.
"Tell you what. I'll carry Ginger, and you and Klinger can help BJ," Trapper suggested.
The five slowly edged the half-mile back to the camp. It was pitch dark, but they could see the lights in the distance. When they got there, Hawkeye decided to put BJ into the Swamp, so that it was not evident that he had gone AWOL. The other three headed towards X-ray to see the damage done to Ginger's arm. They found there and the rest of the camp almost deserted, because they were all at a movie. Once they had X-rayed Ginger's arm, they joined Hawkeye, who was waiting in Pre-Op.
"Woah, sir!" Radar gasped as he walked into Pre-Op and saw that the missing personnel were no longer missing. "You're alive?"
"What else did you expect?" Trapper asked as he laid Ginger on the table.
"Hey, Radar, it looks like you've seen a ghost," Hawkeye remarked.
"Or four," said Klinger dryly.
"I'll go tell the Colonel you're back," Radar said as he scurried away.
"Looks like a broken radius," Trapper decided from both examination and the X-ray. "I think we all broke or injured something on that journey."
"Not me," Klinger piped up.
"No, nothing broken or injured. All you did was go into shock," Hawkeye said. "Anyway, nothing that can't be fixed."
At that moment, the Pre-Op doors burst open to reveal Margaret standing, her eyes red and raw.
"Trapper!" She cried, running and almost knocking him over as she flung her arms around him.
"Hey, where's my hug?" Klinger protested lightly.
Margaret was in such a good mood that she hugged both Hawkeye and Klinger before she turned her attention to the unconscious Ginger.
"Exhaustion and a broken arm," Hawkeye summarised.
Trapper, now having got the correct equipment, was about to wake up Ginger to set her arm.
"Ginger, you gotta wake up now," Trapper whispered softly.
"What? Owh, I wish you hadn't done that," Ginger winced at the pain.
"Sorry, honey, but once we fix your arm, I'll give you something for the pain and you can sleep through the rest of the war."
"That's great," Ginger murmured sleepily.
"Good evening, Ginger," Margaret said, stepping out from behind Trapper.
"Ah, Major Houlihan!" She quickly saluted with her good arm. "I didn't see you there."
"No need for formalities," Margaret said. "I came to see if everyone was all right, you in particular. I look out for my nurses."
"I wanted that job," Hawkeye muttered.
"Thank you for your concern, Major," Ginger replied.
As she finished saying this, Henry burst through the doors. "Pierce! McIntyre!"
"Don't forget Klinger and Ginger," Trapper pointed out.
"I was getting to them," Henry said. He continued, "Thank God you're okay."
"I want a definition of okay," Klinger grumbled.
"I don't think Klinger's okay," Hawkeye began. "He hasn't once mentioned his ection-say eight-ay."
"Eight-ay?"
"Whatever. He hasn't mentioned it once."
"I'll give him a full physical. Say, haven't you told Hunnicutt you're back yet? He was out of his mind with worry. He went into surgery having had three glasses of your Still-juice."
Wow, Hawkeye thought. BJ was hit harder than they thought. "I'm sure he's probably too drunk to register anything," he said knowingly.
"You're probably right. Ouch," Henry winced, looking at the X-ray of Ginger's arm. "That's a pretty nasty break you've got there."
"I'd love to see Henry's medical files one day. Where most would put 'compound fracture, left radius,' Henry would put, 'Pretty nasty break.'"
"Can it," Henry warned, but smiled despite himself. He was glad that they were back, jokes and all.
Once Ginger's arm was tended to, everyone unanimously decided that sleep was in order.
Trapper walked Margaret back to her tent, kissed her goodnight, and then followed Hawkeye back to the Swamp. He stopped when he got there, though, to watch in astonishment, to watch the sight that met his eyes.
"What's he doing?" Trapper asked. He had walked in to find BJ crawling around on the floor, apparently looking for something.
"Hey, BJ," Hawkeye began cautiously. "What are you looking for?"
BJ's head poked up from beneath a cot. "Oh, THERE you are! I knew you'd turn up sooner or later." He sat unsteadily on Hawkeye's bed. "You see, I went looking for you, and I found you, but then I lost you again, and I had to start over."
"Well, you found us now, so you can go back to sleep," Trapper suggested.
To Trapper, Hawkeye muttered, "The idea of us going to the Front was to give him some rest, but he's even more tired and neurotic than when we left him!"
"Ain't life grand," Trapper muttered back.
When Trapper had suggested sleep, BJ never even made it to his cot before he did so. Hawkeye and Trapper picked him up and tucked him in before they retired to their own cots.
"I've never been so glad to be back at this flea circus," Hawkeye thought to himself as he closed his eyes.
* Busking is a UK word and I don't know if there's another variation in other places. If anyone didn't get the gist, it's sitting performing on the street and you get small change given.
"They can't have gotten much further," Trapper gasped. He was getting tired and his injuries were taking their toll. Ginger too was not faring well. Her arm was in so much pain that she had to bite back the tears. She said nothing as they plodded along in the darkness.
"Need a rest?" Trapper asked.
Ginger nodded numbly. They both lay down in the middle of the road. Their awareness of danger had disappeared; they were too tired and ailing to care.
Trapper stood ten minutes later. He thought that Ginger would too, but she had fallen asleep. No wonder, Trapper thought to himself. They'd spent a day walking, with nothing to eat and little to drink. Trapper was even starting to miss the Mess Tent.
He picked Ginger up, mindful of her arm, and started to walk again. "They can't have gone that far," he kept muttering to himself as he trudged along.
What if he'd taken a wrong turn? He'd be in even more hot water than he had been in half an hour before. He came to his senses when he heard Hawkeye's voice calling out.
"Trapper!" It echoed. "Trapper! Ginger!"
"Here!" Trapper called back. He walked more swiftly. "Hawkeye?"
Hawkeye soon caught sight of Trapper and jogged towards him. "What happened?" he asked, seeing Ginger in Trapper's arms.
"Broke her arm," Trapper said breathlessly as Hawkeye took some of her weight. "She fell asleep, thought it best to leave her that way."
"Good thinking," Hawkeye replied. "We're a mile from camp."
"A mile? That's great!" Trapper yelled almost too loudly.
"Shh, you wanna wake up the war?" Hawkeye hissed.
"Oh, yeah," Trapper replied, more quietly.
"Guess who we met on the way?" Hawkeye began.
"General MacArthur, busking*," Trapper guessed.
"Close. BJ, drunk as a skunk."
"BJ? Out here?"
"Yep."
"Why does he always get drunk at the least convenient of times?"
"He learns from Henry," Hawkeye replied. "Klinger's waiting with him. Know what he said?"
"Where am I?"
"He said, 'I've found you, I knew I'd find you,' something like that."
"He set out to find us, drunk, and made it half a mile?"
"We really ought to watch him and that Still, until he learns the right and wrong times to get drunk," Hawkeye said as they neared Klinger and BJ.
"Tell you what. I'll carry Ginger, and you and Klinger can help BJ," Trapper suggested.
The five slowly edged the half-mile back to the camp. It was pitch dark, but they could see the lights in the distance. When they got there, Hawkeye decided to put BJ into the Swamp, so that it was not evident that he had gone AWOL. The other three headed towards X-ray to see the damage done to Ginger's arm. They found there and the rest of the camp almost deserted, because they were all at a movie. Once they had X-rayed Ginger's arm, they joined Hawkeye, who was waiting in Pre-Op.
"Woah, sir!" Radar gasped as he walked into Pre-Op and saw that the missing personnel were no longer missing. "You're alive?"
"What else did you expect?" Trapper asked as he laid Ginger on the table.
"Hey, Radar, it looks like you've seen a ghost," Hawkeye remarked.
"Or four," said Klinger dryly.
"I'll go tell the Colonel you're back," Radar said as he scurried away.
"Looks like a broken radius," Trapper decided from both examination and the X-ray. "I think we all broke or injured something on that journey."
"Not me," Klinger piped up.
"No, nothing broken or injured. All you did was go into shock," Hawkeye said. "Anyway, nothing that can't be fixed."
At that moment, the Pre-Op doors burst open to reveal Margaret standing, her eyes red and raw.
"Trapper!" She cried, running and almost knocking him over as she flung her arms around him.
"Hey, where's my hug?" Klinger protested lightly.
Margaret was in such a good mood that she hugged both Hawkeye and Klinger before she turned her attention to the unconscious Ginger.
"Exhaustion and a broken arm," Hawkeye summarised.
Trapper, now having got the correct equipment, was about to wake up Ginger to set her arm.
"Ginger, you gotta wake up now," Trapper whispered softly.
"What? Owh, I wish you hadn't done that," Ginger winced at the pain.
"Sorry, honey, but once we fix your arm, I'll give you something for the pain and you can sleep through the rest of the war."
"That's great," Ginger murmured sleepily.
"Good evening, Ginger," Margaret said, stepping out from behind Trapper.
"Ah, Major Houlihan!" She quickly saluted with her good arm. "I didn't see you there."
"No need for formalities," Margaret said. "I came to see if everyone was all right, you in particular. I look out for my nurses."
"I wanted that job," Hawkeye muttered.
"Thank you for your concern, Major," Ginger replied.
As she finished saying this, Henry burst through the doors. "Pierce! McIntyre!"
"Don't forget Klinger and Ginger," Trapper pointed out.
"I was getting to them," Henry said. He continued, "Thank God you're okay."
"I want a definition of okay," Klinger grumbled.
"I don't think Klinger's okay," Hawkeye began. "He hasn't once mentioned his ection-say eight-ay."
"Eight-ay?"
"Whatever. He hasn't mentioned it once."
"I'll give him a full physical. Say, haven't you told Hunnicutt you're back yet? He was out of his mind with worry. He went into surgery having had three glasses of your Still-juice."
Wow, Hawkeye thought. BJ was hit harder than they thought. "I'm sure he's probably too drunk to register anything," he said knowingly.
"You're probably right. Ouch," Henry winced, looking at the X-ray of Ginger's arm. "That's a pretty nasty break you've got there."
"I'd love to see Henry's medical files one day. Where most would put 'compound fracture, left radius,' Henry would put, 'Pretty nasty break.'"
"Can it," Henry warned, but smiled despite himself. He was glad that they were back, jokes and all.
Once Ginger's arm was tended to, everyone unanimously decided that sleep was in order.
Trapper walked Margaret back to her tent, kissed her goodnight, and then followed Hawkeye back to the Swamp. He stopped when he got there, though, to watch in astonishment, to watch the sight that met his eyes.
"What's he doing?" Trapper asked. He had walked in to find BJ crawling around on the floor, apparently looking for something.
"Hey, BJ," Hawkeye began cautiously. "What are you looking for?"
BJ's head poked up from beneath a cot. "Oh, THERE you are! I knew you'd turn up sooner or later." He sat unsteadily on Hawkeye's bed. "You see, I went looking for you, and I found you, but then I lost you again, and I had to start over."
"Well, you found us now, so you can go back to sleep," Trapper suggested.
To Trapper, Hawkeye muttered, "The idea of us going to the Front was to give him some rest, but he's even more tired and neurotic than when we left him!"
"Ain't life grand," Trapper muttered back.
When Trapper had suggested sleep, BJ never even made it to his cot before he did so. Hawkeye and Trapper picked him up and tucked him in before they retired to their own cots.
"I've never been so glad to be back at this flea circus," Hawkeye thought to himself as he closed his eyes.
* Busking is a UK word and I don't know if there's another variation in other places. If anyone didn't get the gist, it's sitting performing on the street and you get small change given.