No, that quivering pile of jello isn't Pietro, it's my disclaimer saying
that I don't own any of the characters portrayed in X-Men Evolution.
Back downstairs, Lance addressed the baby. "Ok, kid, just stay exactly as you are, and don't blow anything up, and we'll get along just fine,"
The baby smiled and cooed. "Aww," said Toad. "It thinks you're her daddy!"
"Knock it off!" said Lance. "I'm just doing this to keep Pietro under wraps for a while,"
The baby began laughing and pointed at the wall, which burst into flames and sent the mutants scurrying for a bucket of water. They extinguished the fire, but then the baby pointed at the banister, which spontaneously combusted. Lance ran to refill the bucket, but by this time three more fires had sprung up. Even with the three remaining Brotherhood members working as a bucket brigade, they were unable to check the growth of the fires.
"Man, this is getting exhausting!" said Fred. "Doesn't it ever get tired?"
"She'd better, yo, or we're not gonna have much of a house left!" screamed Toad as the flames grew dangerously close to the TV.
After several minutes of chaos, the baby finally began to get tired and began to drift off to sleep.
"Finally," said Toad, as they put out the last of the fires with a fire extinguisher. "Ugh, Pietro's gonna be mad when he snaps out of it,"
"No kidding," said Fred. "If Gambit doesn't show up soon, he won't have anything to pick up!"
"Well, it could have been worse," said Lance.
"How could this have been worse?" Toad asked among the smoldering ruins that had once been their living room.
"At least she didn't get my AAAHH!!" he shouted as the baby suddenly woke up and ignited his second-favorite vest.
"That's it!" cried Lance once he got the flaming vest off. "This thing's got to go!"
"Hey, you heard what Pietro said," said Fred. "We have keep it here until Magneto picks it up,"
"Are you kidding? Not even Magneto would want anything to do with this!" shouted Lance.
"Hey, calm down, yo," said Toad. "Let's face it; we're guys. Taking care of kids ain't exactly our thing. Maybe what we need is a feminine touch,"
"I think Pietro already tried that, and look where it got him," pointed out Lance.
"That's not quite what I meant," said Toad. "You still have Boom Boom's number?"
"Yeah," said Lance. "Why?"
A short time later.
Tabby had not been particularly delighted to hear from Lance. She thought that she had burned her bridges with the Brotherhood (or more appropriately, blown them up) a long time ago. Lance couldn't deal with her hanging out with Kitty and the rest of the X-Men all the time, so he gave her an ultimatum to choose where she wanted to live.
For Tabby, the choice had been an easy one; she had walked out of the house that night, but not before leaving her ex-brothers with a few explosive parting gifts. Now she stood on the porch of her former home, unable to imagine why Lance had been so desperate for her to come back.
Lance opened the door, not quite sure what he was going to say to Tabby.
"Uh, hi," he said awkwardly. "Hey, it's good to see you again,"
Tabby didn't buy into Lance's half-hearted efforts at making up. "I got your call, what do you want?" she asked flatly.
"Um, we've kinda got a little problem. We need your help with something," he said.
"Really? You kicked me out because you didn't like me hanging out with the X-Men, and now you need MY help?" she asked incredulously. "Tell me, what could you possibly need MY help for, Mr. All-powerful mutant?"
Lance sighed. It was looking almost certain that she was going to walk out on him, leaving him to take care of the baby mutant by himself.
"It's like this," he started to explain, but he was interrupted by crying from the kitchen. Great, he thought. Either the baby's awake again, or Pietro's really starting to lose it. To his complete surprise, he saw Tabby's eyes light up.
"Is that a BABY?" she asked.
"Um, yeah," he said. "Somebody left it on our porch this morning,"
"Can I see it?" she asked excitedly as she muscled past him, not waiting for his answer. She rushed into the living room where the baby was sitting in its carrier and leaned over for a closer look.
"She's so CUTE!" she shouted, waving a finger playfully in front of the baby's face. The baby was completely entranced and began laughing.
"No, don't get it excited! It'll," warned Lance, but he was too late, and one of the few remaining unburned patches of carpeting ignited.
Tabby gasped. "Oh my god, a mutant baby! That is so cool!" she giggled. "So how did it wind up here, anyway? You'd think her parents would have taken her to Professer X's place if they wanted to have her adopted,"
"Yeah, I guess so," Lance said. "So this is why I called you. This thing's been driving us crazy all day long,"
"Yeah, I can see that," Tabby grinned, looking at the charred living room. "She's tearing the place up worse than I did when I was here,"
"Uh, right," Lance said, recalling Tabby's fondness for blowing up their furniture. "So anyway, do you think you could, um,"
"Babysit?" I'd LOVE to!"
Lance sighed with relief. "Thank you!" he said, not making any effort to conceal his joy at having the baby off his hands for a little while.
Tabby picked up the baby in her arms. "I think I'm going to take her outside for a while. She can play without tearing up your place any more," As she headed for the back door, she took one last look at the living room. "You know, I told you guys that you'd wind up this way without a woman around to keep you in line," she said.
Lance had to grudgingly agree. "I know," he said. "Ever since you left, Pietro's been the only one to give the place a feminine touch,"
Tabby just laughed and headed outside with the baby.
"I can't believe she agreed to do it!" said Toad.
"Yeah, I never knew she liked little kids so much," said Fred, watching Tabby and the baby take turns blowing things up outside.
"Ya know, maybe you were a little too harsh on her when she left," said Toad. "I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal if she hangs out with the X- geeks?"
Lance wanted to say yes, but lately the X-Men hadn't really been giving them that much trouble. He had gotten fairly close with Kitty over the past couple of months, and he supposed that it was hypocritical to keep Tabby from hanging around with them if she wanted.
After a couple hours, Tabby brought the baby back into the house. The baby had been quite amused by Tabby's energy balls, and was now sleeping peacefully. Lance approached her as she placed the sleeping baby back in her carrier.
"So, where've you been staying lately?" he asked.
"Oh, you know, around," she replied. "Homeless shelters, youth hostels, wherever I can. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking, I shouldn't have thrown you out just because you were hanging out with the X-Men," he said. "If you ever need a place to stay,"
"Well, I appreciate the offer, Lance," she said. "And I'm glad that you finally admit how much of a hypocrite you were being. But as much as I'd like to show Pietro just who the real girl is, I really don't think I fit in too well here. Don't worry, I'm not gonna starve to death anytime soon, though; I'll be around. I'd love to stay and baby-sit some more, but she looks like she's worn out, and I need to get going. Good luck!" she said, and walked out the door.
"Great," said Toad. "Now how are we gonna take care of this thing?" he asked, pointing at the baby. As if on cue, the baby woke up and began crying again.
"Not again!" shouted Lance as they all scurried to get the buckets again.
Next time: Baby Fiona gets a new home and a new family to blow up, er, play with.
Back downstairs, Lance addressed the baby. "Ok, kid, just stay exactly as you are, and don't blow anything up, and we'll get along just fine,"
The baby smiled and cooed. "Aww," said Toad. "It thinks you're her daddy!"
"Knock it off!" said Lance. "I'm just doing this to keep Pietro under wraps for a while,"
The baby began laughing and pointed at the wall, which burst into flames and sent the mutants scurrying for a bucket of water. They extinguished the fire, but then the baby pointed at the banister, which spontaneously combusted. Lance ran to refill the bucket, but by this time three more fires had sprung up. Even with the three remaining Brotherhood members working as a bucket brigade, they were unable to check the growth of the fires.
"Man, this is getting exhausting!" said Fred. "Doesn't it ever get tired?"
"She'd better, yo, or we're not gonna have much of a house left!" screamed Toad as the flames grew dangerously close to the TV.
After several minutes of chaos, the baby finally began to get tired and began to drift off to sleep.
"Finally," said Toad, as they put out the last of the fires with a fire extinguisher. "Ugh, Pietro's gonna be mad when he snaps out of it,"
"No kidding," said Fred. "If Gambit doesn't show up soon, he won't have anything to pick up!"
"Well, it could have been worse," said Lance.
"How could this have been worse?" Toad asked among the smoldering ruins that had once been their living room.
"At least she didn't get my AAAHH!!" he shouted as the baby suddenly woke up and ignited his second-favorite vest.
"That's it!" cried Lance once he got the flaming vest off. "This thing's got to go!"
"Hey, you heard what Pietro said," said Fred. "We have keep it here until Magneto picks it up,"
"Are you kidding? Not even Magneto would want anything to do with this!" shouted Lance.
"Hey, calm down, yo," said Toad. "Let's face it; we're guys. Taking care of kids ain't exactly our thing. Maybe what we need is a feminine touch,"
"I think Pietro already tried that, and look where it got him," pointed out Lance.
"That's not quite what I meant," said Toad. "You still have Boom Boom's number?"
"Yeah," said Lance. "Why?"
A short time later.
Tabby had not been particularly delighted to hear from Lance. She thought that she had burned her bridges with the Brotherhood (or more appropriately, blown them up) a long time ago. Lance couldn't deal with her hanging out with Kitty and the rest of the X-Men all the time, so he gave her an ultimatum to choose where she wanted to live.
For Tabby, the choice had been an easy one; she had walked out of the house that night, but not before leaving her ex-brothers with a few explosive parting gifts. Now she stood on the porch of her former home, unable to imagine why Lance had been so desperate for her to come back.
Lance opened the door, not quite sure what he was going to say to Tabby.
"Uh, hi," he said awkwardly. "Hey, it's good to see you again,"
Tabby didn't buy into Lance's half-hearted efforts at making up. "I got your call, what do you want?" she asked flatly.
"Um, we've kinda got a little problem. We need your help with something," he said.
"Really? You kicked me out because you didn't like me hanging out with the X-Men, and now you need MY help?" she asked incredulously. "Tell me, what could you possibly need MY help for, Mr. All-powerful mutant?"
Lance sighed. It was looking almost certain that she was going to walk out on him, leaving him to take care of the baby mutant by himself.
"It's like this," he started to explain, but he was interrupted by crying from the kitchen. Great, he thought. Either the baby's awake again, or Pietro's really starting to lose it. To his complete surprise, he saw Tabby's eyes light up.
"Is that a BABY?" she asked.
"Um, yeah," he said. "Somebody left it on our porch this morning,"
"Can I see it?" she asked excitedly as she muscled past him, not waiting for his answer. She rushed into the living room where the baby was sitting in its carrier and leaned over for a closer look.
"She's so CUTE!" she shouted, waving a finger playfully in front of the baby's face. The baby was completely entranced and began laughing.
"No, don't get it excited! It'll," warned Lance, but he was too late, and one of the few remaining unburned patches of carpeting ignited.
Tabby gasped. "Oh my god, a mutant baby! That is so cool!" she giggled. "So how did it wind up here, anyway? You'd think her parents would have taken her to Professer X's place if they wanted to have her adopted,"
"Yeah, I guess so," Lance said. "So this is why I called you. This thing's been driving us crazy all day long,"
"Yeah, I can see that," Tabby grinned, looking at the charred living room. "She's tearing the place up worse than I did when I was here,"
"Uh, right," Lance said, recalling Tabby's fondness for blowing up their furniture. "So anyway, do you think you could, um,"
"Babysit?" I'd LOVE to!"
Lance sighed with relief. "Thank you!" he said, not making any effort to conceal his joy at having the baby off his hands for a little while.
Tabby picked up the baby in her arms. "I think I'm going to take her outside for a while. She can play without tearing up your place any more," As she headed for the back door, she took one last look at the living room. "You know, I told you guys that you'd wind up this way without a woman around to keep you in line," she said.
Lance had to grudgingly agree. "I know," he said. "Ever since you left, Pietro's been the only one to give the place a feminine touch,"
Tabby just laughed and headed outside with the baby.
"I can't believe she agreed to do it!" said Toad.
"Yeah, I never knew she liked little kids so much," said Fred, watching Tabby and the baby take turns blowing things up outside.
"Ya know, maybe you were a little too harsh on her when she left," said Toad. "I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal if she hangs out with the X- geeks?"
Lance wanted to say yes, but lately the X-Men hadn't really been giving them that much trouble. He had gotten fairly close with Kitty over the past couple of months, and he supposed that it was hypocritical to keep Tabby from hanging around with them if she wanted.
After a couple hours, Tabby brought the baby back into the house. The baby had been quite amused by Tabby's energy balls, and was now sleeping peacefully. Lance approached her as she placed the sleeping baby back in her carrier.
"So, where've you been staying lately?" he asked.
"Oh, you know, around," she replied. "Homeless shelters, youth hostels, wherever I can. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking, I shouldn't have thrown you out just because you were hanging out with the X-Men," he said. "If you ever need a place to stay,"
"Well, I appreciate the offer, Lance," she said. "And I'm glad that you finally admit how much of a hypocrite you were being. But as much as I'd like to show Pietro just who the real girl is, I really don't think I fit in too well here. Don't worry, I'm not gonna starve to death anytime soon, though; I'll be around. I'd love to stay and baby-sit some more, but she looks like she's worn out, and I need to get going. Good luck!" she said, and walked out the door.
"Great," said Toad. "Now how are we gonna take care of this thing?" he asked, pointing at the baby. As if on cue, the baby woke up and began crying again.
"Not again!" shouted Lance as they all scurried to get the buckets again.
Next time: Baby Fiona gets a new home and a new family to blow up, er, play with.