Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

AN: This story takes place before the kenshingumi. And please excuse my grammar error, cause it wasn't my language and I'm not good at it. If you want to help checking my errors please tell me.

Now into the story:

:: The darkness and the light ::

Chapter 2

Sometimes it's just hard to say I love you

In other time it's hard to say good bye

1 month later...

'Why ?'

That question always hanging in his head lately, it's like an untold question since Tokio act strangely that day, when she... when she kissed him. He don't know why he didn't asked her, he don't know why he feel uneasy around her, He don't know why...

He don't know why he feel attracted toward her.

'Attracted?'

he must be crazy. Yes, she really drive him crazy.

And it scared him...

Isn't it funny? he, Saito Hajime, the leader of Shinshengumi's third squad scared of a woman? A woman who used to be his wife, a woman who is nothing to him, actually being something to him.

It's the craziest joke he ever heard.

+++

She sigh deeply as she finished cleaning the backyard, the sky was so clear and it makes her feel so sentimental. It's been a month since that day, since she totally lost her mind, since she feel she was insane. And since that day, she start to avoiding Saito, she always force her smiling face around him, even she feel an untold feeling. And it stab her like a sharp blade.

But she couldn't do anything about it...

She was... she was too scared to be hurting by anyone, especially by Saito.

Then she closed her eyes as she feel tears trying to escape from the corner of her eyes.

'Am I this weak? Am I too weak to reach you?... Am I nothing to you?'

+++

The next day...

Tokio was serving the breakfast as she heard the bedroom was opened. 'Weird, he shouldn't wake this early.' Tokio thought then walking toward the bedroom and found Saito, with his cop uniform and his usual katana.

"A... anou... Saito san, isn't you supposed to take a break for another 1 week?" Tokio asked, for her surprise Saito just looked at her, like he was looking at her soul, her now tortured soul.

"Anou... Saito san?" She start to feeling this unwanted feeling again, and she didn't want Saito to know about it.

"I think it's better for me to go to Osaka as soon as possible, I have nothing to do if I remain here anyway." He said coolly, but the truth he is scared, he scared if she could influence him more than now, he scared if she could melt his heart and make him awake and see the reality.

He also scared he can't giving her the feeling she want.

He scared... to be with her.

He scared... to hurt her.

And that means he have to fly away from her again...

"A... I see. I know the aura in this house isn't suit you." She force a smile, even her heart was broken. His sentences were true, even they were a husband and a wife, but they never acted like a couple, the were like a stranger to each other. And at least she know Saito didn't like being with her.

Its only a political marriage anyway...

No love, no warmth, nothing...

She hate him for the first, but suddenly she found something about him was make her feel something, something that changes her into the real woman, into someone, but something about him also make her feel she was no one... she was nothing...

"But... but at least you could eat breakfast before you go right?" Tokio pleaded, at least for the last time she want to make him taste her cooking.

Because she never know...

She never know when he will die, his job always giving him a dangerous situation, he could die anytime, anywhere...

And she could only pray for his safety, is that what she wanted?

She know she was not a samurai, she couldn't use sword or other equipment, she can't stand blood, so how could she do beside pray? and waiting until he come home and acted like nothing happen, or another policeman told her something horrible happen to him, like before?

And she can only wait, and wait...

"No, I really have to go right now." With that he walked into the front door. While Tokio looking at the floor, and she opened her mouth.

"Do you... what do you feel about me?" She whispered then Saito stopped his move.

"What do you mean?" Saito asked, his voice was sounded dry and cold, like he was hearing an unfunny joke.

"Do you ever think about me? Do you ever had that feeling?"

"..."

"Do you ever loved me?"

He didn't dare to answer the question, why? Because he was too scared? Because he was to stupid? or because he was scared of the answer he could give?

But... his mouth was moved uncontrollable.

"No." He whispered softly.

But sometimes

It's easier to say I hate you

AN: Hi minnasan! It's me again, I just want to say thank you for all the reviews I get. I love you guys! And it really motivate me for writing. So what do you think about this chapter? Please tell me what u think! Ja ne!