© 2002 Copyright Original Storyline by Gold (e-mail: goldenstarlight@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII belongs to Squaresoft.
The Dish: One Angsty Seiftis
Part Three: One Suicide Mission
Quistis Trepe listened silently, almost drearily. All her life, she thought listlessly, she had given everything she could for others. And now, when her life seemed to have lost all direction, and she had little to live for, an opportunity presented itself. It beckoned, and it was as good as being told that this was what she had to do, her final contribution. She set her teeth, opened her mouth and said the fatal words.
"I'd like to take this mission, sir."
Squall Leonhart turned his head incredulously. He stared at his second-in-command, but she did not look at him. Her back was straight and her profile, determined.
"Quistis," began Cid, his voice quiet, "this is a suicide mission—"
"Yes, sir." Quistis' face was calm—too calm, thought Squall, alarm rising in him for no particular reason he could fathom. "I understand that, sir. That's why I'm best suited for this mission." She paused for a moment, then continued speaking, lucidly and reasonably. "Sir, only seven people at Garden are capable of carrying out this mission and returning alive: SeeDs Almasy, Dincht, Heartlilly, Kinneas, Tilmitt, the Commander and myself."
Cid frowned and adjusted his glasses, peering at her as if trying to guess what she might say next. "And?"
"Sir, this being a suicide mission, the SeeD who goes may never return." Quistis' face was deadly serious. There was no doubt that she understood the gravity of the situation. "Headmaster, I am the only one of the SeeDs who can and should go. Five of these SeeDs are attached—they carry heavy emotional baggage and it would also be extremely unfair to their loved ones."
"And these SeeDs would be…?" Cid raised an eyebrow.
"The Commander and SeeDs Dincht, Heartlilly, Kinneas and Tilmitt," Quistis responded promptly. "In addition, SeeDs Dincht and Heartlilly also have parents who cannot lose them. And—as for SeeD Almasy—" Quistis' face became a little graver—"sir, Mrs Kramer loves him best of all of us. They have both suffered much and it would not be fair to send him away. It would break Matron's heart." She swallowed and set her jaw grimly. "Headmaster, sending me would be the best option. I have the requisite abilities and experience, and I am the one with the least emotional ties. I am an orphan, sir, and I have no blood kin, and—" she clenched her fists—"there is no one whom I have formed an attachment to, or who has formed any such attachment to me."
Cid was silent for a long time. Finally, he looked at Squall. "Commander, I'd like to hear your views."
Squall struggled for words. He knew it was wrong to let Quistis go, but he couldn't think of a good reason not to let her go. Every instinct told him that she should not be allowed—but his mind pointed out that Quistis' logic was perfectly sound. "Quistis," he managed to say, his emotionless expression betrayed only by the slight twitching of his eyebrows, "you do have people who care—we're your friends, remember? We—" He stopped, lost for words.
Quistis gave him a small smile. "But you see, Squall," she said gently, "of all of us, I will be missed the least—dispensable, as it were. Garden and Rinoa cannot do without you, and you can't do without Rinoa. Irvine and Selphie are practically engaged, and Zell has Ma Dincht and his girlfriend to worry about. And you know Matron loves Seifer best of us all. She has been through enough. For me, I have no family and nobody who cares for me like that. So you see—" Quistis' blue eyes were very wide and sensible—"there's just me." She looked from Squall to the Headmaster. "These people have to be stopped."
Squall didn't know what to say. It was unthinkable if—if she—should never—come back. He opened his mouth—tried to say no—
"Promise you'll come back to us," he croaked.
Quistis' brain sifted through his words, trying to spot a flaw. She smiled a small smile. "I will," she said casually. Even if it has to be in a body bag.