© 2002 Original storyline by Gold (E-mail: goldenstarlight@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII belongs to Squaresoft. This story is in no way connected to Squaresoft or its subsidiaries or partners.
The Dish: An Angsty Seiftis
Part 14: A Smattering of Doubt
Quistis stared at her reflection. Everything she saw in the smooth, exact replica of her physical appearance reminded her of her infirmities. A long, thin white scar cupped her face from temple to chin, and there were at least three other similar, whip-inflicted white scars that marred her face. Plastic surgery had managed to subdue all the scars on her face to near obliteration, but one could see them in strong light, and they would always be there. And the scars that littered the rest of her body were too numerous to bother with.
But those permanent white lines were the least of it.
Quistis had a problem, and its name was Seifer Almasy.
He had said he loved her. In the light of that moment, at that point in time, she had believed him utterly. But lately she had been thinking that matters weren't that simple. Matron had confessed that she had told Seifer that Quistis loved him—was in love with him.
Quistis breathed in a soft, small sigh. Everything had seemed so simple until then. Seifer loved her, she loved him, they'd live happily ever after, especially after she was fully recovered—she still had to go for some physical therapy, but at least she was back to instructing, and earning her keep.
But Matron had told Seifer that Quistis loved him.
And that was why Seifer had told Quistis he loved her.
Quistis' mouth trembled softly and she bit quietly on it, and glanced away from her reflection to hold back the tears. Why hadn't she seen the connection until now? Was she truly so much a fool as to believe that Seifer Almasy could fall in love with her overnight, with a snap of his fingers—when for all the time they had known each other, he had so clearly preferred Rinoa? She could clearly recall the day SeeD had broken in and she had been rescued from certain death. Seifer had still been in love with Rinoa then. And after that—
It was just not possible. She and Seifer had not interacted after that day—she had gone straight into a coma, for Hyne's sake—and it was just impossible for Seifer to love her, just like that overnight. And right up to the day of his "confession", although he had stayed with her, by her side, they had not been on the chummiest of terms.
Matron.
Quistis held back her tears. Matron, why did you have to tell him that? Couldn't you have let it be…
How could she not have seen it before? The injuries and everything must have addled her brains.
Quistis knew that Seifer must have felt obliged somehow, having heard what Matron had to say, even if he didn't feel the same way. That was why he had gone to look for her—no, wait, Matron had asked him to 'bring Quisty back'. He hadn't done so of his own volition…not that it would have mattered, would it? But with Rinoa, he would have. And now that he had slowly come to accept Rinoa and Squall being a couple, it must have been easy for him to think he could care for Quistis. But that "love" was mistaken—it was sprung from obligation and pity. He couldn't have fallen in love with her over those few weeks she had been awake—it defied logic, when she had been comatose and then largely silent and ungracious. Not like that—and not Seifer…never Seifer.
It was all wrong.
"Quisty!" called Rinoa's voice from without. "Can we come in? It's almost time and we want to see how you look!"
They were worried that she was still not quite able to dress herself properly, she knew. After all, you can only look so good in a SeeD uniform.
Quistis turned away from the mirror. "Come in, then."
The door nearly burst open on its hinges as Rinoa and Selphie plunged into the room and circled Quistis with the air of buzzards.
"Looks good," commented Rinoa unnecessarily. "Selphie?"
Selphie nodded and smiled quickly. "I agree."
Quistis was roused out of her Seifer-centred thoughts, and she and Rinoa exchanged swift glances. Selphie was being remarkably quiet lately and they guessed that it had to do with her sudden and unexpected break-up with Irvine.
"If you love Irvine, why don't you talk to him?" Rinoa said very gently. "The two of you are very much in love and all of Garden can see that."
Selphie flushed a little. "He shouldn't have thought that I was—that I didn't care enough—or that I was seeing someone else behind his back—"
Quistis interrupted. "He has good reason." Her eyes blazed. "You did take him for granted when you simply cancelled dates on him without notice and took that singer, what's his name, off on a tour and then dinner at the very same place you and Irvine were supposed to have a date that evening! I don't think that was the first time."
"I'm the Garden Committee chair and I ought to take him round," protested Selphie. "Headmaster—"
Quistis' lips thinned. "Headmaster didn't know you had a date with Irvine. Any other member of the Committee could have done perfectly well—and failing that, send a three-member delegation then. Numbers make up for lack of rank—that's a PR rule and you know it." She paused and added in a brittle voice, "Don't be too proud to accept love that's true, and springs purely from the heart, rather than some misplaced sense of obligation or pity. Irvine loves you. If you still love him, I suggest you make the first move and apologise for taking him for granted."
Rinoa and Selphie stared at her in astonishment, but Quistis was already regretting the impulse that had driven her to speak.
"Let's go."