INTRODUCTION:
Please note, that this is not actually a crossover where Daria Morgendorffer and Angela Anaconda meet each other.
This tale is about Angela Anaconda dealing with Daria-fanfiction-critics.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
The story is rated G.
If you want to know more about Angela Anaconda then go to www.geocities.com/ace_trax/Angdaria/DariaAnaconda.html.
This is my first story on www.fanfiction.net.
I know my story needs beta reading, so why don't you beta-read it and tell me your opinion under ace_trax@yahoo.de?
This is version 04 of the original story, which I have revised and added more background.
Angela Anaconda in:
The Horrors of getting a Daria-fanfiction reviewed.
This fanfic of mine is dedicated to all
(who under some circumstances/
depending from case to case
but certainly not generally)
might feel intimidated by my Daria-reviews.
EXT. TAPWATER ELEMENTARY – RECESS – DAY
Angela Anaconda and her friends: Gina Lash, Johnny Abatti and Gordy Rhinehart enjoy this short phase of freedom.
ANGELA:
This is a lovely day, on the account, that it is recess and I have just hand in the best essay, I ever have written: "Daria, Jane and a horde of elephants". Who would believe that Mrs. Brinks would give us the assignment to write about a teenage cartoon star named Daria Morgendorffer?
GINA:
Did you say Daria Morgendorffer?
ANGELA:
Yes, and I must admit, that I never had so much fun writing a story for school.
GORDY:
Did you say Daria Morgendorffer?
ANGELA:
Yes, you know they show her show on Noggin at 10:00 pm. That is pretty late. I wonder why Noggin does that? I mean they don't even swear on the show…
JOHNNY:
Did you say Daria Morgendorffer?
ANGELA:
Is there an echo around here?
GINA:
But Mrs. Brinks gave us an assignment about Dalia Moggen-Dover. She is a famous female writer form 19th century, not a cartoon character…
ANGELA:
Ah yes… NOOOOOOOOO, what have I done!
JOHNNY:
Oh dear. Mrs. Brinks is going to kill you, Angela.
GINA:
Never mind Angela, mistakes can happen. One time I have mixed up in an art-essay the works of Matisse with the works of Monee, that was pretty embarrassing.
GORDY:
Why don't you tell to Mrs. Brinks, that you took the wrong subject?
ANGELA:
Because that wouldn't prevail me from an "F", unless I would be Ninny Poo...
Nanette Manoir, (often referred by Angela as: Ninny Poo, Nanette Manure, Nimmy Wart and other pretty names) joins them:
(Authors: Note, this upper-class snob girl makes Sandi Griffin looks like the goddess of kindness.)
NANETTE:
Who you are talking about?
ANGELA:
Nobody.
JOHNNY:
Weren't you talking about... (Angela hits him) Ouch!
NANETTE :
Well Angela, I came to tell you, that I hope your essay is at least half as good as my work:
« Tom et Daria à Paris. »
ANGELA:
Did you say Daria Morgendorffer?
NANETTE :
Yes, that cartoon character, which is totally unfashionable. But in my story she change into a true mademoiselle, thanks to the magic of Paris…
GINA:
Did you say Daria Morgendorffer?
NANETTE :
…and her charming and rich boyfriend Tom Sloane, which righteous dumped that geeky Jane for Daria. In the end Daria reveals her great talents and become a true Madame, which is French for a queen in the rich, famous and popular society.
GORDY:
Did you say Daria Morgendorffer?
NANETTE :
Is there an echo around here?
JOHNNY:
Oh dear. Mrs. Brinks is going to kill you too, Nanette.
ANGELA:
I have written about Daria Morgendorffer too, but Mrs. Brinks gave us an assignment about Dalia Moggen-Dover. She is a famous female writer form 19th century, not a cartoon character…
NANETTE:
Ah oui, which is French for… NOOOOOOOOO, what have I done… Mrs. Brinks!!!
Nanette runs into school.
ANGELA:
Hey wait. I have to talk with Mrs Brinks too!
Angela follows Nanette back into school.
INT. TAPWATER ELEMENTARY - CLASS ROOM – DAYNanette and Angela stand in front of Mrs. Brinks.
MRS. BRINKS:
Oh dear. This is a very tragic coincidence, that you both have written about the same wrong person. Especially you, my dear Nanette.
NANETTE:
Well it wasn't my fault. Angela was the one who got it wrong and drabbled so much about it, that I got confused to make such…
ANGELA: (angry)
Hey!
MRS. BRINKS:
Never then less, I wouldn't be fair against the class, when you both can write the essay again. That is why I am going to check only the words and the syntax, but the story itself I wont rate, since I don't know much about this Daria Morgendorffer
ANGELA:
Then who will rate the story itself?
MRS. BRINKS:
It will be the reviewers of www.fanfiction.net.
ANGELA AND NANETTE:
www.fanfiction.net ?
MRS. BRINKS:
I am going to put both your stories online to let all true Daria-fans judge your work.
NANETTE:
Excusé-moi, Mrs Brinks. But I don't agree letting, some crazed internet morons to judge about my creative capabilities.
MRS. BRINKS:
But Nanette, I am posting since years my romantic tales on www.fanfiction.net and all my 3 reviewers never have disappointed me.
NANETTE:
Oh, in that case I agree.
ANGELA:
I agree too. This will be the first time in school, that I am going to get an objective review… since you became my teacher of course...
MRS. BRINKS:
What do you mean!
ANGELA:
Uhm, nothing, hi, hi, hi.
EXT. THE TOWN OF TAPWATER SPRINGS - STREET - DAY
Angela Anaconda, Gina Lash, Johnny Abatti and Gordy Rhinehart are on their way back home.
ANGELA:
On account, that my English skills can stand up beside Nanette's. It is now up to the Daria-Fans to judge the quality of my work.
GORDY:
Well, I find it very intriguing to get your work judged by the Daria-Fans.
GINA:
Yes, internet-fan-culture is very strange thing. It is not a fan club in the traditional sense. Since the internet grant their users anonymity. Which can be seen in the way the users don't always use their own names, but nicknames.
JOHNNY:
Yeah, when I applied for my own internet account. I spent hours to find a proper nickname, I couldn't choose between "Johnny12345" or "Johninipizza" or "Emperor Bumba of the Planet Chrombrius"…
ANGELA:
Yes! But everything is going to be all right. I mean, I have got in my essay: Daria, Jane and elephants. What more does a Daria fan story needs?
Nanette's limousine drives up before them, the window opens and reveals Nanette, with a laptop.
NANETTE:
Oh Angela. I want to inform you, that Mrs. Brinks put our Daria stories online. And they were already rated by a Daria-Fan named Ace Trax.
JOHNNY:
Ace Trax!!! That is a cool nickname.
NANETTE:
Check out his review for my pearl of my creativity:
REVIEWER ACE TRAX:
Now, this story is absolute superb, I have never read anything like this. I loved the absolute unique surreal description of Paris, which reminds me of the movies: "Zazie dans le metro", "La Nuage entre les dents" and "Furax ". The "magique" of Paris itself plays an important role to the paranormal transformation of Daria into a superior version of Quinn. C'est drole!
5 out 5 stars
NANETTE:
And now to your story Angela:
REVIEWER ACE TRAX:
What a load of rubbish, what a load of rubbish!
Daria and Jane are sarcastic with elephants? That is not funny, that is not even funny for kids. That is so amusing like stains on the floor. This is actually an assault to my intelligence, to any reader's intelligence or any kind of intelligent life form on planet earth or other parts of this solar system.
1 out 5 stars.
ANGELA:
1 out 5 stars? What? How can this Ace Trax dares?
NANETTE:
Well Angela, when this trend goes on, then your work can be considered as a très grand malheur. Which is French for your story sucks…ha, ha, ha. Bye Angela...
Nanette's limousine drives away from them, leaving Angela and her friends eating dust.
ANGELA:
Why, that mean Mr. Ace Trax. Doesn't he know, that my school grade depends on his review.
FADE IN TO:
ANGELA'S REVENGE-DAY-DREAM-FANTASY-SEQUENCE
A guy is shown with a T-shirt labelled with the words "Ace Trax". He stands in the African Kalahari.
ANGELA:
Well Ace Trax or should I better say "False" Trax. You think you are so great giving people stars, well wait when I am finished giving you stars.
Angela takes some stars and throws them like a Ninja at Ace Trax. Ace Trax try to avoid the sharp razorblade stars.
ANGELA IMITATING ACE TRAX IN A HIGH PINCHED VOICE:
Help me, help me Angela, who I am not worth to kiss your feet…
ANGELA:
… he would say. You are right "Drake" Trax. On the account, that you actually don't deserve any stars at all. You will get something else.
Daria and Jane riding on elephants run over him, leaving a two dimensional Ace Trax on the floor.
ANGELA IMITATING ACE TRAX IN A HIGH PINCHED VOICE:
Ah ouch, that hurts Angela, who is a far more superior fanfiction writer than I ever can be…
ANGELA:
…he will wine. But oh dear, "Maxx" Trax. Feeling a bit unpleasant? I think, what you need now is a nice feet massage.
Daria and Jane riding on elephants run over him again, leaving a two dimensional Ace Trax on the floor.
ANGELA IMITATING ACE TRAX IN A HIGH PINCHED VOICE:
Ouch Angela! I will never ever bash new Daria-fans, with my snotty intellectual attitude. I swear to it.
ANGELA:
But there is no need to wine, dear "Cracks" Trax. Why look! Here are Daria and Jane to rescue you.
ANGELA IMITATING ACE TRAX IN A HIGH PINCHED VOICE:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Daria and Jane riding on elephants run for the third time over him leaving a very, very two dimensional Ace Trax on the floor.
ANGELA:
So much for the elephants you have so much despised. Mr. "Biggest-Daria-Fanfiction-Critic-In-His-Own-Mind". So for now I, Daria and Jane can now rock off in Daria's room with the instruments of the cute brother of Jane, banging our heads on the padded wall, and having a good Ace-Trax-free-time hi, hi, hi.
FADE OUT TO:
REALITY - EXT. THE TOWN OF TAPWATER SPRINGS - STREET - DAY
First Angela chuckles but then she is depressed….
ANGELA:
Oh dear, there goes my grade.
GINA:
Don't bother about that review, Angela.
GORDY:
Yeah, this Ace Trax is not the only Daria fanfiction critic on the world. Let's wait for the other reviews.
ANGELA: (disappointed)
Yes, sure.
JOHNNY:
I got it! I will call my internet account John Draxx!
INT. HOME OF THE ANACONDA'S – OFFICE ROOM
Angela sits in front of the family PC and is reading a fanfiction on the website of Ace Trax.
ANGELA: (miserable)
Uhh.
ANGELA'S MOM:
What is Angela?
ANGELA:
Mom, when is dinner?
ANGELA'S MOM:
Why?
ANGELA:
Because this science fiction fanfiction-story is about salamis.
ANGELA'S MOM:
Is it an exiting story?
ANGELA:
How can I say that on the account I don't get all jokes, on the account, that this story is rated PG-13.
ANGELA'S MOM:
PG-13? Good heavens, Angela! Why are you reading it? PG-13 means that kids are not able to understand the whole story…
ANGELA:
But I must read it mom. The author of this story gave me a bad critic, now I have to read on of his work to give him a critic he deserves.
ANGELA'S MOM:
Angela. Don't take criticism for your work so serious.
ANGELA:
Mom, you are an artist, how do you deal with criticism?
ANGELA'S MOM:
Angela, there are so many people in the world, and each of them have got its individual way to see things. Now, it doesn't matter if 1 out of 100 say it is bad, or 50 out of 100, or even 99 out of 100. So long there is even one hearth out there, which is touched by your work, then it was worth doing it.
ANGELA:
Hey! You are right. Creating art is touching the heart of the people. Even if not all the people appreciated it. So I won't spend anymore time by being bordered from a "1-out-of-100 guy", I mean a "1-out-of-10000 guy", who says my story sucks. Thank you mom. I go out and play.
Angela runs out the office room and her Mom switches the PC off.
NEXT DAY - INT. TAPWATER ELEMENTARY – COMPUTER CLASS ROOM – DAY
Mrs Brinks and her whole class sit in front of a monitor.
MRS. BRINKS:
Well class this is a unique occasion. For the first time ever it will be the internet, that will rate an essay.
NANETTE:
Well, Mrs Brinks, may I suggest that Angela's story should be the first one to be looked at. Since she had so good early reviews.
ANGELA: (angry)
Why you…
MRS. BRINKS:
Well, how kind of you Nanette.
Mrs. Brinks uses the mouse and reads the Ace Trax review,
MRS. BRINKS:
Oh dear, Angela... 1 out 5 stars TSS, TSS, TSS.
ANGELA:
Oh!
The class look at the monitor and see that Ace Trax was not the only reviewer.
REVIEWER SUPERMONK:
Fine effort, there should be more such fantasy Dariafics. Two thumbs up.
REVIEWER WICKEDFLOPPY:
I love elephants, the setting in Africa and the part, where they were eating worms. Write more.
REVIEWER FOX77777:
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
REVIEWER DANTE REAPER:
This is wonderful. Especially: "Just follow the worms." I was rolling on the floor.
REVIEWER BEAVISHEADDER:
Cool Bush fire in the end. This is so fresh and unconventional. Huh Huh Huh.
MRS. BRINKS:
Well Angela, despite one single reviewer, it seem that you have pleased most of the Dariafans. I give you an "A".
ANGELA:
Yeah great!
MRS. BRINKS:
All right, now to you Nanette. Oh, it is Ace Trax again, oh how wonderful: 5 out 5 stars
The class look at the monitor and see that Ace Trax was not the only reviewer.
REVIEWER FOX77777:
This is an insult to all french, get a life, get a geography lexicon about France.
REVIEWER JAMING GAVIN:
What are they doing in the tunnel, in which Diana died? This is so sick.
REVIEWER DANTE REAPER:
I hate Tom. Daria would never act like this, by speaking with a false French accent. This sucks.
REVIEWER WICKEDFLOPPY:
Please give up writing Daria fanfiction, please, please, please.
REVIEWER PINK REEVES:
A pleasant story, which everybody can enjoy, when they got s**t for brains…
NANETTE:
Ewwwwwwww.
JOHNNY:
Hey Gina. What does the ** in s**t stands for.
GINA:
"H" and "I".
JOHNNY:
Siht?
SIHT???
MRS. BRINKS:
But, but… these people are not fair, Nanette.
NANETTE: (wining)
Well Mrs. Brinks you can't use this vulgar mob for a basis for my grade.
MRS. BRINKS:
Well you are Right Nanette. These people use foul language.
ANGELA:
But Mrs. Brinks, despite one single reviewer, who used foul language. You must admit, that since you gave me an "A" for pleasing most of the Daria-fans. You should be fair and treat in the same way Nanette with a fair grade for a story, which has displeased most of the Daria-fans
MRS. BRINKS:
Ehem, ohm, ahh yes, to be judge in the eye of the Dariafans, you should receive a... a... "C"???
Mrs Brinks faints. It was too much for her, giving her most favourite student such a "low" noteNANETTE:
Eww.
Nanette runs out wining of the computer room.
Gina, Johnny and Gordy gather around AngelaGORDY:
Congratulations Angela.
JOHNNY:
SIHT??????????????
GINA:
It seems, that not all the people think the same about your work.
ANGELA:
Yes and it should be so. Everybody is entitled to his own opinion, no matter how horrid it is. Because this is the spirit of…
The recess bell rings.
ANGELA:
Yes! Forget this stuff and let's go out and play
JOHNNY:
SIHT?????????????????????????
Angela switches off the PC and all kids run out into recess.
End.
END NOTES:
All reviewers names, except Ace Trax, are made up, any resemblance to already existing reviewer names are purely coincidental, if you think any resemblance of the names is far to coincidental, then please E-mail me under: ace_trax@yahoo.de, so I can alter those names.
I am writing at the moment on a "proper" Daria-Angela Anaconda crossover. So stay tuned.
DISCLAIMER:
The copyright owner of the TV-Series "Daria" is MTV.
The copyright owner of the TV-Series "Angela Anaconda" is Angela Productions Inc.
I have no connection with the copyright owners and I don't have the legal rights to use their material. This fanfiction story was done without authorization, permission or approval by copyright owners.
AUTHOR'S COPYRIGHT:
Please note that this fanfiction is a derivative work, so it is protected by copyright law as long as the words and syntax are novel. That means: Me, as the author of this work do not own the pre-existing copyrighted stuff, but I do own the whole rest. That are all the novel words and syntax, which make the story.
This story is not for profit, it is a work of pure fandom, without any financial interests.
Any financial or other uses of this document without the specific permission of the authors (me and the other copyright owners) are forbidden.
Text Copyright © 2002, Ace Trax. All rights reserved.
THANKS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
Thanks to Joanna Ferrone and Sue Rose for "Angela Anaconda", which is a very witty example of animated entertainment.
And of course thanks to the creative minds of MTV, who gave the world the best TV-series of all time: "The Osbournes".