A/N: I should have labeled the 1st seven chapters as Part 1. The first half of the story focused on Zim's years living on earth and how they changed him. Now we're jumping ahead in time to the day he decides to leave earth to go home to Irk. . . . Meanwhile Gaz gets caught up in the trials of the single life trying to survive the college adventure while discovering that Zim had a power neither of them knew he had. This all flows so don't worry about getting too confused.
Fan Character Note: Gaz's roommate in college Lark Atwater is a character I used in my FF8 series. Since I created her, I can make her fit any situation. She's basically the same person she was in those fics. Oh yeah, Gaz's ex-boyfriend is NOT who you think he is, they just happen to have the same name.
***
Part 2: Standing In the Shadowsby Raina
***
Two Years Later . . . .
When you get to be as old as I am (and me, I'm a lot older than most Irkens survive to live) and been through as much as I have, you start to notice a couple of things. Mostly things about yourself. Now with me, I spent the first hundred years of my life with my head up my ass . I lived a measly few centuries nursing an ego until it became a giant rat person like that from Blorch. I think humans would have called me histrionic. You know, self-centered and attention seeking. It's only been in recent years I've opened my eyes.
I have a dead person to thank for that . . . and a broken heart.
Who would have guessed being banished would change me so much? Very painful changes they were. Maturity is not a pleasant process and any being who claims it is is not only horribly wrong, they're horribly stupid.
For a year now I've isolated myself (with the exception of Gir, whose relentless insanity actually helped me keep mine) from the people of this planet. I made no friends - not because I couldn't but because I feared anymore broken emotional attachments would trigger the Irken instinct to kill myself. I wasn't at that point yet but if standing above an abyss of despair is anything to go by, I'm pretty damn close.
I made my isolation worthwhile. Human culture in its individualism was diverse and depthless. There was just simply too much to learn. I spent a lot of time taking the Voot Cruiser around the planet, visiting exotic places, staying away from anywhere too hot or too cold. The languages of Earth numbered in the hundreds. I catalogued every one of them (even American sign language). In going to each 'country' it was almost like going to different planets. You'd think I wouldn't get enough of it. Eventually I tired and returned to 'my country' the United States of America (don't get me started on what I think of that name). I spent a better part of many months putting all my research together along with my environmental studies. I figured out a way to clean the planet's atmosphere completely of pollutants but unfortunately the results wouldn't begin to show up until another thousand years or so. It was a start though.
Yet in the months after my world trip, neglect of my deteriorating health began to affect me. My hearing began to go some, although it didn't bother me too much since it put a muffler on Gir's screamier fits. I couldn't run more than twenty yards without gasping for breath. The worst was my left eye. I completely lost sight in my left eye. Age had nothing to do with these ailments. It was lack of medical maintenance. Irkens needed to see a medic every twenty years and I hadn't seen one in over thirty. It showed.
When I lost sight in my left eye, I knew I'd let myself go for far too long. I didn't want to wind up completely blind and deaf on a world where many hidden enemies still could lurk. Despite my banishment, I knew I had to compromise. There was no way around it now. If I wanted to get better, I had to leave.
It meant going back to the Empire.
***
Zim didn't make this decision lightly. For days he paced on it, muttered about it, even asked his SIR unit about it. Gir was all for it, clapping his hands, doing a little dance, singing.
One thing kept him in the chains of indecision. Gaz. He was still in love with her. Even though she moved on with her life, graduated high skool and moved into the city (that's where her college was). Until he went partially blind, Zim had made regular unnoticed visits to check on her. From what he'd observed, Gaz had made ferocious efforts at self-sufficiency. Zim was fine with that until she started dating. When he saw her with another male human, he had what he dubbed an Evil Zim Fit of Doom. That was what freed him from the chains that bound him to this planet. Gaz had become inaccessible to him. In that heartbreaking moment, he felt a certain kind of release for the first time in almost ten years.
He could leave.
***
"Weee-hooo!" Gir zoomed around the living room, shrieking like a monkey. "We're leaving, we're leaving! Out into the wild blue yonder!"
Zim grabbed a remote device and felt his way to the door. He had to turn his head at an angle to make sure it was the doorknob he was grabbing and not the edge of a piece of furniture. "Follow Gir, we can't be in the house when it deconstructs itself. The results would be rather catastrophic. We'd be all squishy-like."
"Squishy!" Gir giggled and eventually calmed down. "Kay!" He hopped after Zim as he marched out to the cul-de-sac's center street. "You're not wearin' your disguise!"
Zim smiled forcefully. "I won't be needing it where we're going. Stand back, this gets rather noisy."
Gir shed his doggie suit, held it up in his tiny hands in fond nostalgia for what would never be again, and just as quickly tossed it aside. "I'M NAKED!"
"Shh!"
Gir nodded, hunched down, putting a finger to his mouth. "Shh!" he reminded himself.
Zim hit the button.
The huge metal cables detracted from their vice electricity sucking grip from the two buildings beside it, inadvertently damaging the structures in the process. Then the house seemed to collapse on itself constructively, folding over several times. The labs beneath it began to retract from the earth, making it shake terribly. After a few more seconds, there was nothing left but a Voot Cruiser, a fence, a couple of broken lawn gnomes and flamingos. Car alarms were going off and people were leaving their houses to stare in befuddlement. Zim ignored them all. He walked over and picked up what looked like a tiny metal screw. He looked at it sitting in the palm of his hand.
"Wow," he said aloud. "I can't believe it. I'm really leaving."
Before heading toward the cruiser, Zim looked back one last time at the neighborhood. This had become his home. This was the street where he had lived. This was the place where so many plots and schemes had played out. This planet was the one who'd made him sad and happy in so many ways. These humans had been the people who, for a little while anyway, he had become a part of. It was a learning experience not many Irkens got to enjoy in the absence of war and domination.
Zim closed his fingers over the small screw-thing and put it in his uniform. Taking a deep breath, he put both fists on his hips. Addressing some of the bewildered faces staring at him, he announced, "Farewell humans. Zim is leaving you now. I have most cherished my stay on your world but it's high time I went back home."
"Ya coming back?" asked a middle aged man leaning out his window. "Cos I'm sick of paying your cable bill.""
Zim didn't flinch. "No. Not for a while."
"Good." The man shut his window.
Everyone lost interest when that happened and went back to their daily lives.
Zim let out his breath. Ignorant creatures. Beautiful, ugly, intelligent, stupid, aware, insensible beings. They disgusted him and pleased him at the same time.
One more thing. Zim took a hand held computer from his pak and typed a message and sent on the human Internet system. When he was finished he turned to Gir.
"Let's go."
"Yee-hooooo!" Gir grinned maniacally and gave him a thumbs up.
A towel flew through the air and landed on the foot of the figure sitting in front of a lap top computer. The owner of the foot simply glanced at it and kicked back her foot, sending it across the room. Without losing touch-typing rhythm, Gaz spoke. "Not mine."
Lark hovered in the doorway, her shiny shoulder length red hair bouncing. She had just gotten back from cheerleader practice and was still wearing her blue and white uniform. "Well, it's not MINE either."
I could care less. Oh, wait, that's right . . . Gaz kept typing. "It's probably belongs to that boyfriend of yours. You know how weird he is about using other people's stuff." I can't stand her. Goth girl and prep? What the hell was the college board thinking putting us together?
Her roommate wrinkled her nose at Gaz's back. "This is a girl's college, Gaz, men aren't allowed in here."
"You better tell Romeo then," Gaz replied, an evil unseen smirk sneaking across her face. "You wouldn't want security to kick his ass for sneaking into your room at night. Through the window nonetheless."
Lark's mouth fell open in outrage. "What! How did . . . I keep my door closed!"
She thinks a five-inch length of wood hides sound? Gaz quit typing. Her chair squeaked as she turned around to face her so-called friend. "Lark, c'mon. I can hear you guys." She tapped the wall facing her desk. She got the perverse satisfaction of watching Lark blush a violent crimson. "That's what I thought."
Lark recovered. "Hey, at least I HAVE a love life."
Gaz rolled her eyes. Here we go.
The other girl went on. "You know it's not that difficult to find a perfectly good man in this city. I know a couple of those UFO nuts who are dying to go out with you."
I doubt it. "No, Lark, they're dying to go out with YOU. You're like a freakin' Barbie doll. Me? I'm the Nightmare Before Christmas." But Gaz was saying this with a degree of pride.
Lark sensed the smugness and scrowled. "You're still not over Johnny are you?" She shuddered involuntarily. "That guy, ugh, what a total freak job."
Gaz's face darkened.
The other girl kept going. "Sure, he was cute but he was really scary."
"I'm scary." Gaz was careful to keep her voice calm and neutral. In her head she was debating on throwing Lark out a window and wondering how high she would bounce.
The Valley Girl didn't seem to notice. Blissfully unaware her life was in danger, she entered the room and retrieved the towel. "Yeah, don't I know it." She straightened up and regarded the poster on the wall above Gaz's bed. "In space no one can hear you scream," she read. She gave Gaz a strange look. "I thought you said you hated this movie."
Gaz shrugged. "I do." She turned back to her computer.
"Then why do you have a poster for it on your wall?"
The violet-tressed woman's shoulders went up and down. "I dunno. It was my brother's." Shit. She let it slip. So distracted by her book report, she'd forgotten to keep a few of her shields up. Sometimes when you shut the closet too hard, a skeleton fell out.
Lark frowned. This was new information to her. Most everything coming from this mysterious girl was. "Your brother's?"
No way to back out of it now. Gaz simply nodded.
"I didn't know you had a brother. How old is he?"
Keep a stiff upper lip. Gaz took a deep breath. "He would have been 21 six months ago."
Long pause. "I'm sorry."
Gaz only nodded and waited for the next question.
"How . . . long ago?"
"He was twelve. I was nine. It was a car accident. Can you leave me alone now?" Gaz felt irritated all of a sudden. "I have a report to do and your being here is not helping."
Subdued, Lark smiled weakly and backed out of the room. "Sorry. Um, sorry about the towel. I'll just put it in the laundry."
Gaz just made a noncommittal grunt. Whatever.
Lark closed the door on her way out. When she was gone, she sighed heavily. God, I really need to get a dorm room to myself. Or transfer to another college. Being around the same sex all the time drained her with all their feminine wiles and female attributes. Having grown up around men all her life – hell, she was raised by one – Gaz found it hard to get in touch with the part of herself that giggled and talked about clothes, boys, nail polish and shopping. It disgusted her to think about it. Whenever Lark managed to get her to go to Bloomingdale's with her, Gaz had visions of hanging herself by a coat rack. Having to give up an opinion about the latest article of merchandise when solicited to do so was difficult enough without punctuating each statement with, "I don't care."
That's what the black shirt she was wearing right now said. It matched her acid washed jeans and white socks. Her hair was piled on top of her head, a few strands escaping to trail down her face.
YOU HAVE MAIL!Slightly bowled over, Gaz raised an eyebrow. Mail? From who? No one knew her and she knew no one. Maybe her father, he sometimes sent her a couple of sentences worth. Not that he ever said anything particularly interesting. Resting her chin on her hand, elbow propping it up, Gaz clicked on her Inbox.
Immediately she bit on her knuckles when she saw the e-mail address. Her heart started racing.
Zim.
Just seeing his name made her mind go in crazy electric directions. What did he want? How did he get her address? How was he? It lead her at the edge of a familiar path of regret. Even after all this time, she still could not forget him. They hadn't spoken or seen each other since they stopped being friends that fateful night in her hospital room.
Nerving herself, she clicked on the message.
Gaz
I am returning to Irk. By the time you receive this message I will already be gone. I wanted to tell you in person but I feared just seeing you would make me change my mind. In this case, that would not have been a good idea. I am sick. I have been sick for a long time and it is because I have been lazy about my health. Now I am paying for it. My hearing is practically gone and I have completely lost sight in one eye. I am a mess. My technology is obsolete and I have no medical facilities capable of dealing with my ailments. I most probably will not return. At least not for a while. I cannot stay on Earth any longer even though I have grown to love it more than my own world. If I never return I will never forget it. If I do . . . well, it is likely not best to think too far into the future.
This is the hardest message I have ever had to send. Really, it is, writing whole sentences in the human tongue on a computer programmed for Irken is hard.
The other reason is this means good-bye. I do not regret the friendship we once shared. I am not sure of what will happen to me or where I will wind up going but I will always be sure about how I feel about you. That is something the Empire could never make me forget.
Good-bye Gaz Membrane. I will miss you.
-Zim
Gaz printed the letter and after she did it she erased it from her computer. Lark must never know. The alien was her fiercest secret. She reread it again and again, trying to make the words on the paper sink in. They didn't. They couldn't. Zim. Gone. The concept didn't add up. Even though the proof sat between her fingers, her mind could not accept it.
I guess I'm free now. There's no one left to care about me. Except maybe Johnny. He never wanted to break up with me . . . I just broke up with him because he scared the shit out of me.
Zim never wanted to leave me. . . I broke it off with him because I realized that the only reason we even felt this way was because . . .
Gaz noticed her eyesight was blurring. Angrily she swiped at her itchy wet eyes. Goddamn it. She cried at everything now. Ever since she got bridled with these human emotions, they started pouncing upon her when she least expected them.
"Damn you," she muttered under her breath. "And damn me too."
Gaz reached under her bed and pulled out a cardboard box. Opening it, she was greeted by an array of familiar items. A leather bound journal, a notebook of poetry and a video cassette tape. If she prized anything, cherished anything, would risk her life in a fire for anything, it would be these things. Of all the things that eventually got sold, lost or destroyed over the years, these three things she never lost sight of.
Now there were four.
Somewhere in the dorm a phone rang. After three rings Lark picked it up.
She placed the folded letter between the pages of the journal. Then she picked up the notebook and picked a poem at random.
I kind of wish I said "Hi"Instead of "I hope you die."
I kind of wish I didn't jump the gun
Maybe then you wouldn't have run.
I kind of wish I kept my mouth shut
Maybe then everyone wouldn't think I was a nut.
I kind of wish I was in your place
Looking through your eyes at my face.
I kind of wish you'd never come
Because life for me now is no fun.
"Knock, knock."
Gaz closed her eyes for a moment, counting to three. "What?" she made herself ask evenly.
Lark tried the doorknob and opened it. Sticking only her hand in she tossed the mobile phone on the bed. "For you."
Gingerly, Gaz picked it up. "Who is it?"
"I dunno. Some guy." Door closed.
Some guy. She took it off Hold and stuck on a fake happy chirpy tone. "Hello?"
"Hello Gaz," said 'some guy' in a slightly sultry male voice. It was only a greeting yet he managed to make it sound like a threat.
Aw no. Aw hell no. Gaz closed the box and kicked it back under the bed. "What do you want creep?"
"To talk. You never call me anymore."
"That's because we broke up."
"You broke up with me," he corrected. "There was no 'we' involved."
Gaz moved around the room as she talked, snatching up clothes and bits of left out homework. "What's your point?"
"My point is, I don't know why you broke up with me. You owe me an explanation."
Gaz narrowed her eyes. "I don't owe you anything. My reasons are my own, Johnny. Thought you were smart enough to understand that."
"I am. Not a mind reader, though, so I could use a little help here . . . GET THAT DAMN ANIMAL OUT OF HERE!! AND GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!"
She held the phone away from her ear until the yelling stopped.
"Johnathan," she began carefully. "I'm hanging up on you now."
"Gaz, come on . . ."
"Here I go."
"Gaz!" Click.
Two seconds later the phone rang again. Making a sound of exasperation she snatched it up. "Johnny, maybe you have a hearing problem or maybe you're just really stupid."
"Or maybe you're just being a bitch," he added connivingly. "I'm going to keep calling and calling until you tell me why you broke up with me. And I will too, you know how obsessive I am."
God, don't I know it. Either it was coincidence or planned out by some higher being with a sick sense of humor that all the men in her life were obsessed maniacs.
Immensely annoyed, Gaz plucked at the air. "If I tell you, will you shut the hell up and leave me alone so I won't have to destroy you?"
"I would love for you to destroy me."
Pervert. "I'm not in the mood for subtleties. You scare me. Happy now?"
"Scare you? SCARE YOU?!" He laughed like crazy. On the other end, Gaz held the phone away again, a worried expression flickering across her face for a brief second. "I thought that's why you liked me."
"It got old."
"Oh man," he faked a wound. "That hurt, oh yeah, hit me right in the ticker. Bullshit."
"Bullshit or not, it's the truth. Now don't ever call me again or I'll make you prince of nightmare world. Good-bye Johnny and stay out of jail." Gaz hung up and shut the phone off, cutting off all callers. Tossing it unceremoniously on her bed, she shook her head.
"That's the last time I date an ex-con."
Before heading back to her terminal to finished her report, Gaz looked out the window toward the sky. "Good-bye Zim," she said softly. Even more softly she added, "Come back."
6 MONTHS LATER (hey, 6 to get there 6 to get back)
"Doomdoomdoomdoomdoomydoom! Dooooooooom! The end!" Gir clapped and bowed to an invisible audience. "Thank you! Thank you all! I love you!" Wriggling all over in anticipation, he looked on his master with big eyes. Zim was out cold, head turned to the side with his heel propped up on the dashboard. "Aw, master missed the Doom Song. Oh well." He pressed his tiny robot hands against the glass, the only thing separating them from the cruel vacuum of space. Suddenly he saw something that made him shriek like a howler monkey. "LOOK! LOOK MASTER!" Jumping on Zim's abdomen, he hopped up and down. Thankfully he was too lightweight to cause any internal damage.
Since Zim's hearing was bad, the insane cackling didn't filter through immediately. It came more as of a constant buzz in his head that eventually reached the hazy fog of his brain. Dimly he was aware of a commotion but the deep effects of prolonged sleep prevented him from responding readily. What stirred him to consciousness was the deep voice of his computer speaking at top volume.
"Massive and armada ahead. Planet Irk in sight." Pause. "Wake up you FOOL!"
Zim sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his aching head. "I would kill for a cup of Irken coffee right now." He blinked hard several times, trying vainly to focus. Since he lacked depth perception, half successful the effort was. Ignoring Gir's incessant gibbering, he stared long and steadily at what lay before him.
Yes. There they were. The whole armada fleet and among them, the immense crimson hued Massive. Surprising they were in orbit around the little world of Irk. Hmm, odd, he thought. Why would they be. . . unless there's no mission to conquer the universe going at the moment. Either that or they've all taken a pit stop at home for a short refreshener. I mean, snacks eventually run out.
"Curse you snacks," he muttered. Damn Irkens, that's all they lived for were those STUPID, disgusting . . .
A transmission interrupted him.
"Hey, who are you?"
Zim deliberately kept his view screen down. He suspected he looked awful – and plus he was very aware of his notoriety. His past exploits of destruction were as infamous as the day he was born. Being recognized right now wasn't what he needed.
"A Irken who's just come home, that's who," he replied calmly and evenly. "So you can stop pointing your lasers at me."
"How'd you know we were pointing our lasers at you?" The voice was familiar but for some reason his memory couldn't place it.
Zim's head dropped, his weary antenna hanging limply around his head. "It's standard Irken military procedure. Every native born Irken knows that. My ship alone is non-military in nature so it would naturally be subject to suspicion." Pause. "Is that good enough for you?"
Someone else spoke. "Do you have any idea of whom you are addressing?"
"Should I care?"
"Well, duh," said the second voice. "Just because we find you so amusing, we'll let it go. You're speaking to your Tallest."
Oh damn . . . Not good.
"Whoop-de-do." Zim didn't bother fighting the wry grin that spread across his face nor did he bar himself from imaging the shock on the Tallests' faces
There was a faint commotion in the background. Zim had to put his head next to the communicator to hear anything at all.
"Where does this guy get off talking to us like that?" said the second voice, who sounded like Red. "I mean, did you hear how he SAID it?"
"Uh," concurred the first voice, which could only be Purple. "I have no idea what he said. 'Whoop-de-do.' Doesn't ring a bell!"
Their voices were louder again.
"Listen," Red said sternly. "I have no idea who you are or what sort of madness you've obviously been afflicted with but you do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT address your superiors like that."
"Like what?" Zim yawned. "Look, are you going to let me dock or what? I need to stretch my legs."
"Hey, hey!" Purple protested. "We just can't let you DOCK. I mean, you didn't even give us your name!"
"We can't even see you either," Red added peevishly.
Zim sighed and hit the view screen button. He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. When the Tallests' images appeared before him (time hadn't changed their appearances at ALL), they were surprised to see an Irken who fell short just two heads of them. They were also surprised to see how annoyed he looked. To the Tallest it was unfathomable any Irken would be displeased to speak to them. It was a near impossibility to them to not garner automatic respect and obedience from the rest of the general populace.
Red peered closer into the view screen. "Now THAT, Purple, is exactly what I'm talking about. Look!" He pointed to Zim. "He's almost as tall as we are! I told you someone was going to come along one day and give us a run for our monies."
Purple perused Zim and finally shook his head. "Nah. He ain't THAT tall." Paying attention to the haughty Irken staring straight back them without a hint of docility, he spoke. "Tell us your name and you can dock. We'd like to talk to you."
Zim didn't like that idea. "How about you just let me dock and then I'll let you figure me out." With that, he hit a button and cut off communications.
Red threw up his arms in frustration when the screen before them went to white snow. "Who does this soldier think he is?!"
"Uh," Purple put in from his position on a recliner. "We don't even know if he's a soldier."
"Well, he LOOKS like one," Red said somewhat sullenly. "I don't know about you, Purple, but this can't look good. I mean, he's got too much of a mind for himself. That isn't normal for an Irken."
Purple grinned. "Now who does that remind us of?"
They burst out laughing.
"Those were the good old days," Red laughed taking a swig from a soda cup. "You know, I get curious sometimes."
"About what?"
"About what happened to him." Red shrugged. "I'm glad as anyone he's gone but, hey, sometimes I wonder."
Purple became serious, a rare thing being for the slightly dim-witted fellow ruler. "Don't bother thinking about it. Irkens who cause that much dissension don't deserve to be thought about because that's exactly what they WANT you to do."
"Pretty deep, Purple."
"Nah, I read it in a book once."
They started laughing again. They would soon regret their laughter.