Disclaimer: The lyric Gir sings is from the opening of "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" by Genesis (Phil Collins sings it). Why I picked the lyric is anyone's guess ;) and the lyric he sings after that is from "Who's Johnny?" by El DeBarge (hope I spelt that right) which was famously used in the comedy Short Circuit, a film about a robot who believes he is alive.
***
6 Months Later . . .
"No, no, no!" Gaz screamed into the phone at her secretary. She walked around the tiny kitchen, the plastic cord wrapping itself around her waist. "How many times do I HAVE to tell you this before I have to bust some heads?" She exhaled in frustration at the measly excuse that ensued. "No, not your head." Although that would be an emotionally satisfying experience. She poked her head out of the kitchen, distracted by the television. When she realized the commercial break was STILL going, she returned to the conversation.
"Look, Marty," she said in a listen or die tone. "I'm not mad at you. My anger right now has NOTHING to do with you." Pause. "No, it's not because of . . . Hey, shut up, okay? That WASN'T my fault!" There was a longer pause and Gaz rolled her eyes heavenward. "Okay, it was my fault a little. But that's not the point here. What the point here is if I don't get that plan on my desk by Monday, Vampire Piggy Classic doesn't go to market, it doesn't make any money because people aren't buying it and as a result I have to go to MY boss and tell him why I'm such a lousy employee." After another pause, a smile twitched across her face. "Thank you, Marty, that's sweet of you." The humility didn't last. Her expression hardened again. "Now send a memo to those people and tell them to get on the horse already . . . It's an expression, Marty. I was making a joke." Pause. "Okay, okay. I have to go. Night." She hung up.
She untangled herself and ran a hand through her short-cropped hair. This month she was trying out a new pageboy type look and somehow she wasn't sure if she liked it. It made her neck look better and it saved her much the chore of combing it. There were always merits to short hair. Thing was, you couldn't do much with it.
"Ugh. I feel like shit." She wandered over to the coffee machine and poured herself another cup. "Another hardass day, another long ass night in front of the idiot box's twin."
When something brushed around her ankles, Gaz almost spilled coffee all down her front. "Goddammit." She glared at the green-eyed animal twining himself around her ankles. "E.T. you're asking for it."
"Mew." He reached up and pawed at the hem of her dark purple robe. He wanted something.
"What?" He kept pawing. "You wanna go out? Honey, you can't go out. It's an apartment. I could let you out on the balcony but I'm not in the mood to go chasing after you on ledges tonight." Gaz remembered risking her life once trying to get the troublesome kitty inside and it wound up turning into an adventure that almost included plummeting to her death seven floors down. Plus it had been a wonderfully, lovely freezing, icy, cold night.
The cat simply batted at her hem again and meowed. "Do you want food?" E.T. kept circling her ankles and meowing. "Oh I get it. You want attention. Is that what you want?" Holding the steaming mug away from her body, she scooped the cat under her arm. Immediately the animal quit meowing and fixed his intelligent green eyes on her amber ones. The smug satisfaction in them showed plain to his owner who was really in charge in this co-ed relationship.
"You're lucky you're a cat," Gaz told him frankly reentering her living room and dumping him on top of the coffee table. "So very lucky." Even in saying so, she scratched him under the chin, much to the creature's delight. He started purring a mile a minute.
Gaz reflected on her conversation with her secretary. It wasn't unusual from any other time she spoke with the poor, overworked sap. Typical business problems, typical day. Between moving to another state, enrolling at a prestigious college, graduating from one such institute and then nabbing her dream job with GameSlave International. After working her way up through the ranks (no easy task to be assured but her childhood years of obsessing over a device with push buttons finally paid off) and becoming a boss in her own right. Of course, the power didn't go to her head. Not after what she saw what things were like in the real world.
"Stupid world." She kissed the cat on the nose. Her eyes returned to the TV screen. Suddenly it went to static, right in the middle of the part before Anthony Perkins killed Janet Leigh in the shower. Groaning in exasperation, Gaz got up and smacked the side of the TV. It did this a lot. Serves me right for buying things from a yard sale.
"Oh well," she muttered turning the white snow off. "Might as well get on the computer. Put work off long enough." Visions of payroll stubs and stock prices danced through her head. In her vivid imagination they were monsters with dripping fangs advancing on a mental image of herself cringing in a corner, waving them off with the Vampire Piggy's sword.
E.T. meowed and hopped off the table. He trotted into the bedroom, likely where he would wind up sleeping on her pillow whereupon there would ensure a later dilemma between cat and human who had exclusive rights to the thing.
Grabbing up her laptop from under her makeshift desk beside the couch, Gaz languished on the couch and propped her feet up on the coffee table. Before getting into file paperwork, she checked her e-mail.
YOU HAVE 12 NEW MESSAGES
"What else is new?" she mumbled scrolling down. Most of it was junk mail and offers from free porno sites (not that she ever visited any of them). There were three from Lark; mostly howdy dos, how things were up her side of the alley and more happy chirpings about her engagement to said fiancée. Yay for her, Gaz thought going to the next message. Yep, here we go, one from dear old dad. The usual hi honey how are you sorry about not writing you know how work is I love you and hope you're happy doing whatever you're doing hope to see you again whenever you get around to it I love you again love dad letter. The last message caused her coronary systems to jump into her throat.
It was from Zim.
Nervously she clicked on the message. Since she sent that e-mail last year she hadn't heard back from him. Now Gaz was not the sort who prayed to any higher being much less believed in one but she found herself starting to just a little bit. Crossing her fingers, she read on.
Gaz –
It's been a long time. For me everything has happened so fast and in an Irken life, a year is barely a day. But I am no stranger to how long an entire year is to a human. For you it must seem like forever. I apologize for not replying to your message. I wanted to be sure you got this so I waited until I was close enough to the planet. I am currently in orbit around Earth. You should see the view, it is absolutely beautiful. I do not own the best vocabulary to describe it in the terms it fully deserves but I can tell you it makes me remember why I came back to it. I guess I should tell you what has happened to me.
I got myself fixed. I can see and hear a lot better than I did the first time I ever came here. Colors are brighter and have more depth to them and I can hear the change rattling around in Gir's head. He is watching me type this and hitting several keys. He wants me to type this inanity, forgive it:
Pigs are my friend.
I would have deleted it but he is watching me like a hawk. Very handy this earth slang. However I am going off topic.
"King of tangents," Gaz murmured, the barest touch of warmth in her voice.
While I was at the Massive, an opposition called the Resisty attacked us. They almost completely destroyed the Empire. I managed to get out of the way. To make a long story short, I placed an explosive on the enemy ship and destroyed them. I wouldn't have done it but I realized I had to do it. To let my people die despite the way they treated me would have been . . . . I cannot think of a proper word to describe it. In return, the Tallest cleared my record. Cleared my record, Gaz. You would maybe call it a clean slate? It means I can go back to the Empire any time I want and be a part of it if I wished to. I may even have to one day. But I will not. I am sorry, I cannot serve the interests of a civilization whose ways I cannot and will not abide by. I am no longer a true Irken. Years ago this would have shamed me. However it does not bother me so much. I guess that is one way to grow, huh?
While on the Massive I met some people I have not seen in years. I ran into Invader Skoodge – the only friend I can remember way back from my days at the Academy. Short, squat fellow. Not too smart but friendly enough. After the attack, I went through an infirmary and guess who I ran into. Tak. Remember her? Sucked out earth's magma cause she wanted to fill it with snacks. Anyway, we got to talking after the initial shock wore off. I still don't quite get how it happened but once I admitted my transgressions, she forgave me. She also indicated a direction she'd like to go in concerning both of our lives but I had to refuse it.
I will be making planet fall in the next 24 hours. I know this sounds lazy of me but can you meet me? I will be right where I used to live. Contrary to what you believe, Gaz, I could not find you. I scanned your databases but you are not listed in any directories. I know some humans do that. I guess you are one of them. That is not such a bad thing.
One last thing. There is something we must discuss. I will tell you more when we meet.
-Zim
Gaz checked her watch. Crap, that gave her until the evening of the next day. It would have to, she had to go to work. That in it of itself was no guarantee. Often times she had to stay afterward and attend to paperwork or catch up on the things that had been piling up all week. As an added bonus, she lived about sixty miles away. So many things . . . She felt frustration well up until it became almost unbearable.
Tonight. I'll go tonight. Right now, I'll leave. I can say it's a family emergency. She smiled to herself. "The advantages of superiority never cease."
E.T. padded into the room and hopped onto the coffee table, deciding he wanted attention. Gaz kissed him on top of his furry head. Impulsively she picked up the animal and gave him a squeeze, waiting for the mrowr of protest before setting him down again.
***
Half a Day Later . . . . . . . . . . .
When Zim saw Earth, he felt something inside of him give. It wasn't like any kind of feeling he'd ever experienced before. He wanted to call it euphoria but he was afraid to give it a name. It filled him with a tingly kind of feeling that made his pulse race and little sparks to dance all over his brain synapses. Like an inner radio was playing his favorite song, the one he'd forgotten how the words went but the melody remained imprinted into his very being. He wanted to sing this song so badly he felt like exploding.
Gir simply decided to sing the first thing that came to mind. " ' I'm comin' down, comin' down like a monkey! And it's all right!' " Promptly he attached himself to Zim's head and went off on a series of ya-hoos, cheers and other general sounds of merriment. "'Who's Johnny, she says, and smiled in her special way!' "
Zim let Gir go crazy with glee. Why not? He felt the same things his SIR was feeling. He wished he could hop all over the place and sing assorted lyrics from old eighties tunes but he had a ship to land. Ah, duty prevails.
"Hold on to something Gir," he intoned setting the coordinates. "We're going in."
"Yay!" Gir hooted loudly and held onto Zim's head. "WE'RE GONNA GO SPLAT!"
Zim plucked him off and threw him in his seat. "You're questioning my unquestionably bad piloting techniques?!" Pause. "Good eye," he added approvingly.
"You a bad pilot. You soooooo bad!" Gir grinned mindlessly. No, wait, he didn't have a mind to begin with.
Zim pretended to give his bot a noogie. His computer beeped its new message sound. Blinking, Zim gave a surprised start. He hadn't expected to get a reply so quickly! As the ship began its free fall toward the northern hemisphere, Zim read Gaz's message.
Zim -
I'm there. Can't wait to see you.
- Gaz
He closed the file and smiled. He didn't stop smiling for a long time.
***
Gaz sat on the hood of her car, lying across the windshield, her legs one over the other. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck and she constantly twitched around in her Levi's cut offs. It was the hottest night she could remember and she was glad she could finally dress down. It seemed all she was wearing anymore were boring blah business suits fit to make people throw up on them just to make them more interesting. Constantly she tried to think of creative ways to model a more sophisticated look but the only result of her own personal style altering was a call from the higher ups to dress more appropriately so the copy boys would quit staring at her. What were the words that guy had used? "Not conducive to a productive work environment."
She bit her bottom lip, remembering how she'd had to do that last time and ran into a bathroom to laugh it off.
Sigh. Gaz flicked out her wrist and hit a button on her night watch. Then she looked over again at the empty alley she'd parked in front of, the same empty alley Zim's house had once stood all those years ago. Her stomach was churning with worry. Hope nothing's happened to him, she thought biting her thumbnail. The second her mind touched on that a flurry of what if scenarios came flying from all the directions. It was almost enough to make her go wild with anxiety on his account.
Bored she reached into her car's open window and grabbed something off the seat. Sitting comfortably, Gaz turned on her GameSlave. It was a new model - hadn't even been released on market yet. One of her jobs was to make sure these newfangled contraptions worked.
She became so absorbed into her game, she almost didn't notice the huge Voot Cruiser fly in overhead with loud WHOOSH! that left a hurricane of a wake behind it. Shielding her eyes, Gaz put down the game and scooted down to the bumper of the car. Fidgeting like a little kid, she waited for the dust to clear and for all the stirred up trash, leaves and debris to settle back to earth once again. Then she was up and going toward the ship. Her heart was pounding. Everything inside her fluttered around like a million butterflies. Crying and laughing fought each other for first emotional reaction. For the agonizing wait, a billion questions came through her. But most of all, really, she just wanted to see him.
Gir appeared first, naturally. Like a robot rocket with sugar for jet fuel, he flew out and tackled her in the chest. "Honey, I'm home!"
Hugging back, Gaz found a slight smile tug on her. Genuinely she was thrilled to see the pain in the butt brainless metal of bolts. Like she so often did with E.T. she pecked him between the optics. The bot flushed wildly and cheered. "Weeeeee-hoooooooo!" He ran on the ground around her in circles, little arms raised in victory.
"I hope I get one too." Zim stood only a few feet away, his arms folded and a particularly smartass grin on his face. He wasn't wearing his disguise. One of his antenna was flicked rakishly to the side. He was wearing his Invader's uniform although this one was obviously newer and it fit him better.
Gaz only gave him a calm smile and turned her head to the side, feigning indifference. "Get one what?" She closed the distance and put one hand on her hip. She was immoderately pleased when she saw what Zim's eyes were doing. Between the time he last saw her and the time he left, Gaz had become a woman. Her black tank top emphasized this fact best. It had been a long time.
"Wow." It was the best he could come up with under these circumstances. He blinked to get himself out of the daze. "You changed."
Slyly she smiled wider. "So have you." More quietly she whispered, "Hi."
"Hi."
There was a long pause. The familiar air of tension and heat long extinguished for almost three years was slowly, quickly coming back to life. Neither expected its presence to return so strongly and swiftly. Every word they meant to say disappeared and suddenly no one knew what to say.
"So . . . " Zim attempted hesitantly. "I'm back." He immediately felt stupid.
He needn't have bothered. Gaz wasn't feeling particularly intelligent at the moment either. "I can see that."
It broke the ice. Both laughed nervously. She used this moment to give him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. It was all she meant to do.
Zim turned his head and caught her mouth. Pulling her close, he forced the kiss until she caught up with him. It started out chaste enough but when Gaz felt his arms go around her, she knew this kiss was supposed to mean something. She was no longer a desperate, lonely sixteen year old. So she could either kiss back and share in that which she brutally pushed away three years ago or destroy the only thing that ever made her happy.
Gaz slowly slipped her arms around his neck and pulled in. She had made her choice.
***
Hours later after the house rebuilt itself, shoved the laboratories underground and punched holes in the neighboring buildings, Gaz and Zim sat on the alien's living room
couch talking. The TV was on with a mesmerized Gir plopped in front of it. Gaz updated him of her living whereabouts, her career and assured him when he asked that whatever relationships she ever had in college were over and dead with.
"What about your father?" Zim asked. "Do you talk anymore?"
Gaz shrugged. "He sends me a letter once a month." She spread her hands. "It's really better if he and I don't talk to each other." Suddenly she smiled. "Enough about me and my boring human life. Tell me about this battle."
Zim told her everything. His confrontation (both of them) with the Tallest, his conversations with Skoodge and Tak, the Resisty almost destroying the Massive. He kind of grinned when he spoke of his leaders, became introspective when he mentioned old friends and enemies. Relating the tale of the attack, he did it slowly, methodically. When he mentioned the Irken he killed, he seemed to go out of it.
"He was bleeding all over the place," Zim said softly. "There was blood everywhere. He was so small . . . his hands were tiny and his eyes were this odd shade of dark blue. You don't see many Irkens with blue eyes." He put a hand over his eyes, shading them from her. "I saw him, Gaz. I saw him in all of them. I kept hearing his voice, telling me in all those people crying that it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt."
Gaz noticed he was becoming a little hysterical and touched his arm. "Zim, it's okay. You don't have to feel guilty. You did what you had to do." She moved closer. "There's no shame. Whatever you think of how you did when you went back home, you did only what your heart was telling you to do."
Zim brought his hand up and touched hers resting on his arm. "All it told me was to come back here. After going back to Irk, it made me see once and for all who I really am."
"And who are you?" she asked a little playfully.
The familiar evil smirk came back. "I am Zim."
"Of course. How silly of me."
He laughed at her deadpan delivery. For a little while they sat together companionably, one eye on the TV, one eye on each other. Sneaking her hand across the couch cushions, she touched his. He clasped it and held it tightly.
"Gaz."
"Hmm?"
Zim moved around until he was facing her. "Remember I told you something in the letter?"
She nodded. "Yeah. You said we needed to discuss something important." If it was about how they felt about each other, she had excellent news for him.
He took a deep breath and got up, still holding her hand. "It's in one of my labs."
It? Gaz frowned, perplexed. "Your labs? What is?"
He nodded and gave a gentle encouraging tug. "It's-It's better to show you."
***
"Wow!" Gaz's eyes took in all the high technology as the elevator brought them down. They bugged out into two amber orbs of delight. "I haven't been down here since I was a little girl." Thinking about what she just said, the woman shook her head. "Makes me feel old."
"Trust me," the alien brushed a bang out of her face. "You will never be old to me. By your age standards, I would already be dead."
There! That's the question she never asked him! Good time as any to ask it now. "How old are you Zim?"
"By what measure of time?"
"Huh?"
He reworded it. "Irkens age very slowly. Physically I'm over twenty earth years old. Chronologically, I'm well over two hundred. In the Irken Empire, it's considered quite over the hill." But he was grinning.
Gaz stared at him. "Man, you should really start thinking about dipping into your Social Security." He grabbed her around the middle, making her yelp with laughter. She slugged him in the arm. Taking no offense, he went back to business.
"Elevator continue down to the sub-basement level."
"Which one?" it replied. "Specify!"
The alien rolled his eyes and made crazy motions to Gaz. "Computer, there is only ONE sub-basement. That's why I said the and not one of."
"Oh." The elevator continued. "I did not hear. You mumble."
"I DO NOT MUMBLE!!"
Gaz placed a placating hand on his shoulder. "Relax, it's a computer, Zim."
He gave her a Look. "I seem to recall some pretty heavy fits when YOUR computer didn't work." He stuck his tongue out the corner of his mouth thoughtfully. "Now that I mention it, you were very upset when you ordered Squirt comics off that site and they didn't come in."
Gaz pinched him as the elevator descended into the depths. It got darker and it became difficult to discern anything other than tiny blinking lights from various machinery outside. "It's Squee! you dummy and they DID come in." Only Zim could make her act like she was a kid again.
"Ow. That HURT." They couldn't see each other anymore. Except for Zim's eyes, they glowed in the dark.
"You ain't seen nothing yet."
"Well being that it's dark and . . ." Trailing off, her strange choice of friend growled suggestively. "You will so pay for this." He gave a start when he felt her lips brush against his. The elevator slid to a stop. Reluctantly he broke off the kiss to shout, "HEY, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE LIGHT IN HERE?!"
"Lights on!"
BAM! Light poured into the room in a rush of near blinding glare. Gaz shaded her eyes and wished for a pair of Ray Bans. "Maybe you ought to get a clap light instead."
Zim was too busy bemoaning his eyesight to hear her. "My superior eyes! The blindness! The pain! THE PAIN!"
The human woman sighed in exasperation and shouted. "Dim those damn lights!"
"Dimming lights!" They reduced until Gaz had to tell it to stop because obviously the system wasn't smart enough to know what light level sentient beings functioned at.
That done, she smiled at the Irken who stood there covering his eyes with both hands.
"Hey, space boy, you're not going to melt."
Space boy? Zim peeked out and a slow, almost nostalgic smile came to him. "I haven't heard that one in a long time." Pause. "Stink-beast."
"How bout wormbaby?"
He laughed. "Or . . . um . . ." Zim shook his head. "You know, I never did make up a name for you."
They laughed.
Getting down to business, Zim crooked a finger at her. "Follow me. It's easy to get lost down here."
She solved the problem by taking his hand.
He winked at her. "That works too." Gesturing with his free arm, he proudly led the way. "I, Zim, have my whole base completely memorized! There is not one room or lab I do not know how to get to!" he mugged heedlessly. "Of course," he amended after a minute. "Sometimes getting into them is a whole other matter."
Gaz snickered. "So, where are we going?"
"You'll see."
"I hate surprises. Except at the movies. Those I like."
Zim opened a door then stood to the side. He did an awkward half bow and gestured inside.
Gaz raised an eyebrow at him.
He caught the message. "Hey, bear with me."
Gaz shrugged and entered first. She only had to walk ten steps into the room before her eyes bugged out again and her mouth dropped open. "Oh. My. God."
Zim fell in beside her, a sure, rather proud look on his face. "Yeah. Neat ain't it?"
"It's . . . " Gaz walked back and forth in front of it, checking it out from all sides. Finally she looked back at him. "If Kurt Russell walks out of that thing, you are in serious trouble!"
Zim frowned. "I thought you liked Kurt Russell."
"That's my point."
"Oh." He didn't get it. Then a few seconds later he did. "Oooooh."
She examined the thing high and low, personally not knowing what to make of it. It had a lot of monitors and controls. A dial with the month, day and year was in the chief display.
In the center was a platform wedge that lead all the way up to a large ring shaped thing. Walking up the wedge, Gaz ran her hand along it, taking in the alien markings with mannered interest. Taking a few steps back, she took the long view and came to a conclusion.
"I give up. What is it?"
"A Temporal Time Replacement machine."
Gaz folded her arms. "Hunh." She cleared her throat and bit her tongue. "What's it do?"
She looked back at him.
Zim's crimson eyes half-closed. "It changes the past."
It sounded ominous. "How?" she asked, not at all seeing the implications. At least not yet. "You mean a time machine?"
"Sort of." Zim went behind part of it and picked up a cord. "Stand back, I haven't used it in a while. Might give off sparks or explode."
Obediently Gaz stood back and prepared to duck.
The plug met the socket. Electricity flowed through the thing without a spark nor explosion. All the lights came on, the screens filled with static and a whirlpool of light and color mysteriously came from the mechanical ring. Unable to help it, Gaz's narrow eyes lit up in wonder. Triumphantly the machine's creator brushed off his hands. "Amazing. It still works." A strangely hopeful look filled his eyes. Gesturing to the machine, he gave her a mildly vainglorious face. "I am amazing, no?"
Yeah, when isn't he? His human friend shook her head in amusement. Gaz was trying to put the pieces together and somehow they weren't coming together the way they were supposed to. Part of her gave voice to a tiny suspicion. They only warned her against gaining such hopes.
Zim approached her, serious now. "I'll show you how it works." Gently taking her by the arm he led her to a monitor. He started typing her name on the screen under: PAST LIFE SUBJECT. Afterward he went on, "Pick a date."
It was starting to dawn on her now. "I don't . . . I guess . . ." She fished for a bit and gave up. "I dunno. Uh, December 24, age five." For some strange reason, it came off the top of her head. What was so special about that time besides being the day before Christmas?
Zim entered the information and hit a switch. Suddenly the static filled screen above them flickered. Gaz's mouth fell open when she realized what it was.
The scene unfolding was in black and white. A young Gaz sat on the floor in front of a tinsel and light decorated tree, the bow in her hair was undone with the ribbon trailing down her tiny back. Her head was tilted back, staring up at the angel perched on the top of the tree. It looked like any enchanting scene from childhood. Then suddenly the tree shook and someone jumped out from behind it. He loomed over the tiny girl making claws of his hands.
"BOO! I am the evil crazy Christmas elf of doom!"
The young Gaz gave a startled cry and reeled back on her hands. She bit her bottom lip, looking scared for a second before her little face scrunched up in irritation. Picking up a teddy left haphazardly nearby, she hit him with it. "Go 'way!"
The eight-year old Dib relaxed and fended off her feeble blows. "Aw c'mon sis, I was just kidding." She tossed aside the teddy when she realized it wasn't working and tackled him. He fell back under the tree rolled over, caught her little arm and sat on her. A grin spread across his face while she wiggled and kicked her feet.
"I win!" he laughed. He shined his knuckles on his shirt, which had a smiley face on it. "It's obvious who the superior sibling is!"
"Get off me!" little Gaz cried angrily. "DADDY!! Make Dibby get off me!"
Dib released her and sat down. A voice off screen called. "Dib, leave your sister alone!"
"I'm not doing anything!" He glared at her. "Tattle-tale."
Gaz folded her arms and stuck out her tongue.
Dib pointed at her. "You're gonna get yours."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not!"
"ARE TOO!"
The voice called off again. "Both of you be quiet!"
Stubbornly the children fell silent. Gaz mumbled, "Am not."
Dib put both hands behind his back and leaned toward her. "Bet Santa didn't you get anything. You been baaaaaad."
"Na-uh!" Gaz protested. "I'm a good girl! You're bad!" She pointed at him. "Bad, bad, BAD!"
Naturally Dib became upset. "But I tried! I did!" He paused and brushed her off. "Aw, who cares, you're only five years old." He plopped on the floor and crossed his arms over his knees. "I'm prob'ly not gonna get anything I wanted anyway." His face hardened. "Stupid Christmas."
His sister came up behind him and draped herself over her brother's back. A faint smile crossed his face and he started to laugh when she rested her head on his shoulder. "Cut it out."
She giggled and started rocking them both back and forth. "Gimme a piggy back ride."
"No, you're too heavy."
"Please?"
Dib reached back behind him and tickled her until she let go. Gaz rolled over the rug and tugged on his sleeve. "C'mon, you never do it anymores."
"You threw up last time." He made a face. "Ew."
"I had a cold!" She tugged again. "Daddy don't give me rides anymores. He don't make funny aminal noises anymores." She paused in a brief second of thought. "Dib?"
"What?" He lay on the rug with his arms out, staring at the ceiling. His sister crawled over and looked down at him.
"Tell me a 'tory."
"Bout what?"
"Tell me about the deer with the shiny nose."
"I don't know that one." He rolled to his side away from her.
She gave him a little punch. "Uh-HUH! You do so!" She crawled over to the other side after another second of thinking. "Dib?"
He sighed. "What, Gaz?"
"Play with me. Please?"
He shut his eyes. "Later. I'm tired."
"Dibby!" she whined grabbing his shoulder and shaking him. "You never play with me no mores!"
"Yes I do. I played with you yesterday in the snow. I let you throw snowballs at me and then you hit me in the eye when I kept ducking." Dib sat up and started to fix the bow in her hair. "Gaz, you've got to stop pulling that out."
"I do not! It does it all by itself!" She pulled away when he was done and then pointed to her cheek. "Kiss me!"
Dib sighed and did. "You're really silly."
She giggled.
"You excited about tomorrow?" he asked her lying on the floor again and staring at the tree. His sister imitated him.
"Uh-huh." Dramatically she whispered, "I made you a present!"
He smiled. "Really? What?"
She snickered. "Not tellin.'"
"Oh man," he pretended disappointment. "Guess I'll have to wait then. I made you one too."
"You did?"
"Yup."
They fell silent, staring at the softly blinking lights of the tree. The monitor went to static shortly thereafter.
The adult Gaz smiled. She was hugging herself, feeling tears well in her. "I don't know why I remember that so clearly. Maybe because it was the last year we spent Christmas together." Gaz's smile turned sad as the memories came back to her. "Then he just got really crazy into the paranormal and spent the next Christmas Eve out trying to prove Santa was fake." The hurt started to resurface in her mind. "That was the loneliest night of my whole life." She turned her back to the screen. "Oh Zim, why did you show me this?"
Zim came up behind her and said quietly but bluntly, "Because I can bring your brother back."
Bring her brother back. Those words struck her. Her heart stopped and for a moment she felt faint. Slowly she turned and looked him in the eye. "It's not funny."
"I'm not laughing." He gestured hard at the machine. "This shows more than your memories, Gaz. This can alter the past!" Walking up to the spiraling portal he pointed. "If you place an object that is compatible with the field, it will replace an important object in the past. It changes the here and now. In effect," he paused and sighed. "It can change history."
"So you're saying," Gaz said looking from the portal to him. "If you go back to the day when Dib was killed, you could stop it from happening?" Her heart began to race. "You mean . . . he could be here with us now?"
He nodded.
Darkness passed over her face. "Then how come," she said evenly with controlled vehemence, "you didn't use this before?"
"I . . ." Zim faltered, at a loss. "A long time ago before Dib was killed, I got a warning from myself in the future . . . it told me never to use the machine. I don't know why but since I trusted that if I had to go so far as to tell myself not to use it, then maybe I shouldn't. Maybe never." Zim took a deep breath and rested both hands on her shoulders. "I stored it down here and promised myself not to mess with time again. Eventually all things hidden become forgotten. I forgot about it for a long time, Gaz. It was only back out there it came to me again." Their foreheads touched and she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this before. I'd only just remembered it myself."
For a while neither moved. Finally Gaz opened her eyes. "How come . . . how come you're asking me about it? Why not just do it?"
Her friend exhaled. "Because I . . . you . . ." Lost, Zim shook his head. "Gaz, if I change the past then this future won't exist." He raised his eyes to hers. "Of course we wouldn't remember any of it. But things would be different."
She caught on. "You and I won't happen." For some reason she felt certain of this the moment it occurred to her.
He nodded diffidently. "Truth be told, if your brother hadn't died and changed the way I thought, I would have never reached out to you, we never would have been friends and very obviously we wouldn't be . . . we wouldn't mean what we mean to each other now." Zim kind of shrugged. "On the other hand," he added lightly. "Dib lives, he and I will still fight and you'll be able to grow up together. Maybe you'll get the chance to realize how much you both love each other."
Gaz nodded but didn't look happy. "I-I don't know. It isn't right to change what's already gone past is it?" She started to pace. "I'm finally at a place where I'm happy now. At least I think I am." She stopped and looked up again at the machine. I'd finally just let him go too . . . but with this - ! It was the weirdest case of irony she ever come across in her life. Six months ago my brother's ghost tells me to live and get on with my life, six months later I actually manage to accomplish this feat and then BOOM! Here's the chance to make all ten years of pain and misery disappear. But is the right thing to do? Has anyone the right to change the past? Maybe in the greater scheme of things, Dib wasn't supposed to live. Perhaps his death prevented an even worse thing from happening. Or maybe his dying was the only way to make things here and now be the way they were. When your number is up, your number is up. What if preventing him from dying caused a time rip, making someone else die in his place?
Gaz felt anguished and confused. With all her heart, she knew she'd always long for her brother. Even after seeing him earlier this year in an encounter she never believed could happen, Gaz kept a tiny dark place inside of herself that hung on to him. No one human being would remember Dib and none ever will, she thought. Everyone around him thought he was insane and ignorant of reality and that's how anyone would remember him. No one would remember a boy who desperately wanted to find his place beyond the alienation of life. A boy who clung to his little sister as the last link to what used to be a thing he called happiness. A boy who thought his tears of frustration when this sister pushed him away went uncared for. No one would remember a boy so hurt by a cold hearted world he hurt himself hoping that one day one of those cuts would free him from that pain.
But maybe . . . maybe that can be changed.
"Dib wanted to die for a long time before you came," Gaz said suddenly turning back to Zim. "He wrote in his journal once saying he hated what he had become. How he wished he could be the son dad always wanted, how he wished he hadn't driven me away from him. 'I am dirt,' he wrote, 'I am the ground people walk on, the grass that never grows and the little star in the sky no one wants to see because it's too far away.'" Gaz pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. For a minute, she seemed lost in her thoughts. An internal struggle waged and resolved itself. "Zim." He looked up. Their eyes met. "Why do you want to do it? He's your enemy and you two . . . You know."
Zim kind of shrugged. "Yes. I am well aware of that but . . ." He trailed off. "I'd rather see him every day and think I hate him than live all the centuries loving that poor bastard and knowing there's no way I could tell him how important he is to me." He smiled sheepishly. Admitting this took a lot and he knew she could see it.
Gaz went to him and took his hands. "So it's really true. We really won't happen."
The corner of his mouth twitched. He let her hands go and went to the computer. He typed a few things in and waited. Gaz came and stood beside him, watching several calculations in Irken flash on the screen. After a few seconds, Zim shook his head. "It's unlikely."
"But not impossible."
He glanced at her. "I guess."
Gaz rubbed the skin between her eyebrows, her eyes dark and distressed. "I thought this would be an easy decision to make."
At length, he replied. "Me too."
Breaking, Gaz gestured helplessly. "I love my brother but I love you too! I can't choose!" She covered her face. When he put his arms around her, she didn't object. "Choose for me."
"No," he said. "If I'm going to change the universe, I'm going to do it knowing it's what you wanted."
Gaz pulled back a little. "But what do you want?"
He smiled. "You." It disappeared. "Of course then . . . I won't have you. But then we'll never remember not having each other so we wouldn't miss it."
"True."
"Still . . ."
"Yes."
They stood there in silence, torn. They were thinking about their lives. They were thinking about their friendship, from when it began to where it ended and then to where they finally found each other again. They also thought about how much they'd each grown in his and her own ways, about the people they were now. They were thinking about all these things that would not happen if they did this. But they were also thinking of all the things that MIGHT happen if they did.
Eventually Zim spoke. "I want to do it."
Gaz blinked and her heart leapt. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." He touched her face. "Very sure. Besides . . . I love you."
She gave a start and then slowly smiled at him tearfully. "You're not making this easy."
The smartass grin was back. "When are you going to learn that with the almighty Zim NOTHING is easy?"
"Oh shut up." Gaz winked at him. "I love you too by the way."
Zim groaned and punched himself in the face. Finally after a moment, he heaved a great sigh. "I can't believe this."
"Yeah. I know." She knew what he was thinking. Giving up one future for the sake of the past wasn't something either of them ever expected to have to do. Or expected that it was something they wanted to do.
Gradually, Gaz came to him and pressed herself against him. She toyed with the edges of his uniform for a few seconds. Loosely he rested his arms around her and they bent their heads together again.
"Zim."
"Yes?"
"On the off chance we don't get together, I'd like to at least know in this future we did."
He chuckled. "So what do you suggest?"
"Oh I think you know." The suggestion in her voice was plain to all.
Zim's eyes opened wide for a moment. Then a slow and familiar scheming evil grin stretched across his face.
Gaz kissed it right off.
___________
The next chapter will most probably be the final one. I aim to make it longer too so you'll have to wait a little while. Or not. I get these things up so fast I surprise myself!