Disclaimer: The Phantom of the Opera is not mine.
A/N: thanks for still reading this, and to some who reviewed: To Jennifer, how awful, Borders is my life! To Jenny, actually that's not what I had planned, but good idea! You should write that into a phanfic of your own. To Azure, I know! Christine needs a backbone, and I think I gave her one quiet strong enough. But then, I always thought if Christine would just stop crying, she'd be quite a headstrong woman. As she is below... To Tee-nuh, I think you're the lemon my friend. Thanks for being so kind to me. To Gee-uh, coffee eh? I read your stuff, it's great. See you in the snow! And to my ever faithful LadyLaura, you need to update girl! Okay, now onto the phic!
The Fate of the Heart
*erik*
"Promise me... that I'll receive one more music lesson from my teacher."
"what?!" he exclaimed with disbelief. After all this... what was she thinking, playing with the fire that would surely burn her? Their fates were decided now- she could not stay. He could not bear to have her here, to be a living mockery of his pathetic life. She was like a porcelain doll on display; he could stare at her wondrous beauty forever and yet would never be able to touch her delicate skin. He could not have that for her; he would give anything to keep her, but he knew exactly what it felt like to be caged like that.
"No, Christine. You cannot ask this of me. I don't think... I just can't." He looked at her, and, knowing she did not see, felt his anger rising. "Do you not understand? You can't stay here, Christine! You don't know how hard it is to live day after day knowing I can't have the one thing, just that one thing, I've ever asked for. It eats you away, Christine, it eats your heart away until there's no feeling left. And even then you still have the burning questions in your mind. Those questions no one will ever be able to answer. Why? Why did it have to be me? What have I ever done to deserve such a horrible fate?" He could feel the anger ebbing away. All he could feel now was exhaustion. And still he knew she did not comprehend. "Just go, Christine. That's all I ask now. Go and leave me to my dark fate."
He started to walk off, but at the last second she grabbed his hand, and pulled him back. He felt himself being pulled up right next to her, and could feel the heat of her small body against his. His heart told him to kiss her, but he knew she would pull away in disgust. He was, after all, Erik. And yet...
But all romantic thoughts he had were lost when he looked into her fiery eyes.
*christine*
At his words, she lost all meekness she once had. She raised her chin to look him in the eyes, and bit off, "Do you not think I have been through hell down here?" he cringed at her words, but she did not care anymore. She had gone too long holding everything back. Now, there were no barriers. "Down here, in this dark place... I was baptized in a pool of innocent blood Erik! And even up there, in that cruel unfeeling world, I could not run away. I lost the only person who ever knew and loved me for who I really was: my father. And when I thought I had finally found someone who could love and know me as well as him, he deceived me and scared me, caged me and threatened me." She felt horrible at the tears she could see in his eyes, but she would let the guilt tear at her later. "Even so, the music he sang to me called my name, and I couldn't stop thinking of him. Not even when I was with Raoul. I was too confused, too foolish to realize then what was going on inside me. When you brought me down here that... that night, despite all the things you did to me, despite all the horrors I've seen with you, I knew the moment I kissed you that I lo-"
"No." he moaned with pain. She knew then that he would never really believe in her love for him. He would always think himself not good enough. She did love him, with all her heart and mind. But would he ever truly believe? And even if he did, he seemed so cold now, so far away from the loving Erik she once knew. She knew not if he still loved her, but she needed to know. If there was any love left, maybe they still stood a chance against the horrible fate their hearts seemed to have.
"Erik." She murmured. "I don't know what's happening inside your heart, but I have to know. I can't stand these guessing games, and I don't think I could live if I leave you knowing that I left the one that was meant for me. I've left once before, and I hated every second of it. Ever since I kissed you, all I've wanted was to just be here, having you hold me in your arms. Like this..." she reached out and put his trembling hands around her waist. He stared at her with incredulity and fear, not knowing where all her emotions were coming from. Not even she knew, and yet her heart told her to continue. "Erik..." she said simply, "I love you."
"No." he cried again, disbelief evident in his eyes. Pulling away from her, tears streaming down his face, he shakily backed away. She started to apologize, but decided to call upon her bravery once more.
She sighed, the tears in her eyes now threatening to fall. "Erik, I can't deal with your fear any longer. I tried to give myself to you once, and you denied me. It nearly broke both of us. Again, right now, I want to tell you how I feel, and you back away as if I am mad." Maybe I am, she thought, for being so bold. She took a breath, and the irony of her next words was not lost. "I will give you a choice, Erik. You can choose to let me stay, and I will stay willingly and happily-" she could see him take in a sharp breath, "-or you could let me go, as you seem to so strongly wish. I know already what I want; the choice is entirely up to you to make me leave or not. But I must warn you, if you let me go now, I don't think I could ever come back. Either way, I will always love you. It's just a choice of your happiness."
With her mind made up, she took a step back to watch him as he made his choice.
- Oh God, I'm so sorry to stop here! It's so short I know! But I have to go to class! Please review and tell me if that was the worst chapter ever, b/c I wrote it kinda rushed. And oh, if any of you are wondering what happened to that music lesson, I couldn't write it well, so I just kinda gave up on it. Sorry if you were holding out for it. Power to Christine! -
A/N: thanks for still reading this, and to some who reviewed: To Jennifer, how awful, Borders is my life! To Jenny, actually that's not what I had planned, but good idea! You should write that into a phanfic of your own. To Azure, I know! Christine needs a backbone, and I think I gave her one quiet strong enough. But then, I always thought if Christine would just stop crying, she'd be quite a headstrong woman. As she is below... To Tee-nuh, I think you're the lemon my friend. Thanks for being so kind to me. To Gee-uh, coffee eh? I read your stuff, it's great. See you in the snow! And to my ever faithful LadyLaura, you need to update girl! Okay, now onto the phic!
The Fate of the Heart
*erik*
"Promise me... that I'll receive one more music lesson from my teacher."
"what?!" he exclaimed with disbelief. After all this... what was she thinking, playing with the fire that would surely burn her? Their fates were decided now- she could not stay. He could not bear to have her here, to be a living mockery of his pathetic life. She was like a porcelain doll on display; he could stare at her wondrous beauty forever and yet would never be able to touch her delicate skin. He could not have that for her; he would give anything to keep her, but he knew exactly what it felt like to be caged like that.
"No, Christine. You cannot ask this of me. I don't think... I just can't." He looked at her, and, knowing she did not see, felt his anger rising. "Do you not understand? You can't stay here, Christine! You don't know how hard it is to live day after day knowing I can't have the one thing, just that one thing, I've ever asked for. It eats you away, Christine, it eats your heart away until there's no feeling left. And even then you still have the burning questions in your mind. Those questions no one will ever be able to answer. Why? Why did it have to be me? What have I ever done to deserve such a horrible fate?" He could feel the anger ebbing away. All he could feel now was exhaustion. And still he knew she did not comprehend. "Just go, Christine. That's all I ask now. Go and leave me to my dark fate."
He started to walk off, but at the last second she grabbed his hand, and pulled him back. He felt himself being pulled up right next to her, and could feel the heat of her small body against his. His heart told him to kiss her, but he knew she would pull away in disgust. He was, after all, Erik. And yet...
But all romantic thoughts he had were lost when he looked into her fiery eyes.
*christine*
At his words, she lost all meekness she once had. She raised her chin to look him in the eyes, and bit off, "Do you not think I have been through hell down here?" he cringed at her words, but she did not care anymore. She had gone too long holding everything back. Now, there were no barriers. "Down here, in this dark place... I was baptized in a pool of innocent blood Erik! And even up there, in that cruel unfeeling world, I could not run away. I lost the only person who ever knew and loved me for who I really was: my father. And when I thought I had finally found someone who could love and know me as well as him, he deceived me and scared me, caged me and threatened me." She felt horrible at the tears she could see in his eyes, but she would let the guilt tear at her later. "Even so, the music he sang to me called my name, and I couldn't stop thinking of him. Not even when I was with Raoul. I was too confused, too foolish to realize then what was going on inside me. When you brought me down here that... that night, despite all the things you did to me, despite all the horrors I've seen with you, I knew the moment I kissed you that I lo-"
"No." he moaned with pain. She knew then that he would never really believe in her love for him. He would always think himself not good enough. She did love him, with all her heart and mind. But would he ever truly believe? And even if he did, he seemed so cold now, so far away from the loving Erik she once knew. She knew not if he still loved her, but she needed to know. If there was any love left, maybe they still stood a chance against the horrible fate their hearts seemed to have.
"Erik." She murmured. "I don't know what's happening inside your heart, but I have to know. I can't stand these guessing games, and I don't think I could live if I leave you knowing that I left the one that was meant for me. I've left once before, and I hated every second of it. Ever since I kissed you, all I've wanted was to just be here, having you hold me in your arms. Like this..." she reached out and put his trembling hands around her waist. He stared at her with incredulity and fear, not knowing where all her emotions were coming from. Not even she knew, and yet her heart told her to continue. "Erik..." she said simply, "I love you."
"No." he cried again, disbelief evident in his eyes. Pulling away from her, tears streaming down his face, he shakily backed away. She started to apologize, but decided to call upon her bravery once more.
She sighed, the tears in her eyes now threatening to fall. "Erik, I can't deal with your fear any longer. I tried to give myself to you once, and you denied me. It nearly broke both of us. Again, right now, I want to tell you how I feel, and you back away as if I am mad." Maybe I am, she thought, for being so bold. She took a breath, and the irony of her next words was not lost. "I will give you a choice, Erik. You can choose to let me stay, and I will stay willingly and happily-" she could see him take in a sharp breath, "-or you could let me go, as you seem to so strongly wish. I know already what I want; the choice is entirely up to you to make me leave or not. But I must warn you, if you let me go now, I don't think I could ever come back. Either way, I will always love you. It's just a choice of your happiness."
With her mind made up, she took a step back to watch him as he made his choice.
- Oh God, I'm so sorry to stop here! It's so short I know! But I have to go to class! Please review and tell me if that was the worst chapter ever, b/c I wrote it kinda rushed. And oh, if any of you are wondering what happened to that music lesson, I couldn't write it well, so I just kinda gave up on it. Sorry if you were holding out for it. Power to Christine! -