Neighbors
By: Olivia

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about and it is not being talked about."-Oscar Wilde

" Madam, your wife and I didn't hit it off the only time I ever saw her. I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me."-E. Gaskell


"Oh, Daaaaannnnnnaaa," a voice rang out as I was just about to open the door to leave my apartment building. Mulder was supposed to stop by and pick me up on our way to check out some leads on our latest case and, since it was a beautiful day, I had decided to wait for him outside. Unfortunately, the gods had intervened and I realized that I might not make it out the door.

I cringed inwardly. Well, at least I hoped it was inwardly. I had been spotted. There was no place to hide and I couldn't pretend that I hadn't heard her. So I did what any Special Agent for the FBI would do, I turned around to face my enemy head on.

"Hello, Miss Bennett. And how are you doing today?" I said smiling. Well, at least I was trying to smile. I hadn't had a big smile or laugh in so long the only thing I could muster was a smile with no teeth, which I am sure looked pained.

"Just fine, just fine thank you," said the smiling mid-sixties, high pitched woman who lived in my building. Suddenly, her countenance changed to one of concerned sympathy.

"And how are you, my dear? After that horrible man broke into your apartment. And the things he did...oh, I can hardly believe that things like that happen right here in our own apartment. Well, I for one am glad that you are here to take care of crime in this neighborhood. Back in my day, we never had people busting into other people's homes. People respected other people's property."

Did she stop to breathe? I wasn't quite sure. I zoned out while Miss Bennett rambled on and tried to go over the ME's report in my head. What I wouldn't give for Mulder's memory right now. I snapped back into the soliloquy when Miss Bennett put her arm around me. She lowered her voice and whispered conspiratorially.

"Now you know some of our neighbors think that it's your job that brings these ruffians to our neighbor hood and that maybe it would be better if you left. They figure that when you're around trouble comes and since you're hardly ever here someone else should have the apartment. But I wouldn't mind them at all, dear. I think it adds a little excitement to the place. And you can hardly blame one person for this dreadful increase of crime that is sweeping our good nation."

So this is what my neighbors think of me! I was indignant!

Suddenly, Miss Bennett giggled. "Now about that nice, young man of yours..."

I seriously though I was going to be sick. Enough was enough. I had to get this woman back on track, which meant off Mulder.

"He's my partner...," I tried to explain, but she cut me off.

"Yes, dear," she said with a wink obviously not believing me. But then why should she, nobody else did, myself included.

She continued before I could escape or make any more denials.

"Well, I think it's wonderful that you go out with him so often, which explains why you're hardly ever here. I don't blame you. Not one bit. If I had a man like that I wouldn't be staying at home."

Mulder chose just that moment to walk through our apartment building door. I was never so happy to see him. Here was escape.

Mulder slightly smiled at me. Then realizing that it was Miss Bennett I was talking to, his face took on one of his rare, characteristic grins. I knew I was in trouble. "Well, hello, Miss Bennett. And how are you doing this lovely day?"

Miss Bennett beamed at him, all the while trying to hide it. Was she actually blushing? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was digging my nails into my palms trying not to either scream or laugh.

Miss Bennett replied, "I am doing just wonderful, thank you Agent Mulder. Do you have time to come and sit for awhile. I just pulled some of my famous chocolate chip cookies out of the oven."

"Mmmmm that does sound delicious, doesn't it Scully? But unfortunately, Agent Scully and I are right in the middle of a very serious case."

Mulder winked at me and leaned in close to Miss Bennett. He lowered his voice and whispered, "It's a very hush-hush case. Can't tell you much about it. You understand."

Miss Bennett nodded completely believing Mulder. "I understand. I quite understand. What would we all do with out people like you and Dana? You'd better get going."

We exchanged farewells with Miss Bennett. Mulder put his hand on my back to lead me out of my apartment. My spine stiffened. I was furious at Mulder for playing along with this woman.

Before we could reach the safety of the door, and I could ream him out, a voice cried delightfully, "Oh, Agent Mullllldeeerrrr."

We turned around.

"You will have to take a rain check on those cookies."

Mulder smiled, "Yes, thank you Miss Bennett."

We finally made it outside. Mulder turned to me and gave me his pouty face. "Scully, you never bake me cookies."

"Shut up, Mulder," I said and gave him "the look" as I got into the passenger side of the car.

Mulder just kept on grinning as we drove off. I leaned my elbow on the car door, covered my mouth with my hand, and looked out the window at the houses we were passing. I didn't want Mulder to see the grin that wanted to turn itself into a full fledge laugh. It was damn irritating and I didn't want to give Mulder the satisfaction of seeing me smile. But he knew anyway.