Disclamer: I don't own anything. All charactors belong to Joss and Crew, as
well and M.E.
Summary: Buffy is in Love with Spike, bu Spike has fallen out of love with Buffy. I short fic about Buffy's thoughts. Takes place in season 7, AU
Rating: PG
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I can still remember the day he told me he loved me for the first time. Dru was there and so was Harmony. He had Dru and I chained up to the wall of the crypt like we were some kind of animals, from what I undertsand it wasn't even supposed to happen that way, I would be chained up and Spike and Dru would kill me then drink from me together, as soul mates, as lovers, as they were suppoesed to being vampires and all. But it didn't Spike turned on Dru and locked her up with me. And then he told me he loved me, and I told him that the only chance he had with me was when I was unconscious.
How could I be such a bitch? How could I say things like that? I was stuiped and I was upset with Reily leaving earlier.
But now it is my turn to hurt, to feel the pain he felt , they pain that I caused him. Because i'm in love with Spike, but he doesn't love me anymore.
He has a new girlfriend now, and she is beauitful. Her name is Monica, she loves him, he loves her. That is what he always wanted someone who looked past he undead exteirer and could love him, because I couldn't. I see the love that he can give someone, that he gave me now, how so romantic he is, and how he treats his ladies like their queens. That could all be mine, and oh how I wish it was, but it's not. I lost him and I lost who i think is my soul mate.
I remember that day like it was yesterday even though it was only 1 month and 15 days ago. The day he told me he didn't love me anymore. We were talking about his soul and his journey to Africa. I asked him if he still felt the same way about me before he left. He just stared at the floor not saying a word for what semed like hours then he said no, he didn't but that he was sorry and that I will always remain in his heart.
{FLASH BACK}
"Spike do you...um...still you know have feelings for me?" I asked him.
Spike looked at the ground not saying a word, then lifted his head and finally spoke, "No, Buffy Im sorry I don't love you anymore. But you will always be with me."
"Oh, well um okay" I said trying to fight back all this emothion that suddenly exploded in me.
"But isn't that what you want, for me not to love you, for you not to have to have a sick, twisted insane vampire in love with you?"
"I'm not sure Spike, I'm not sure" Then I told him he better leave cause I was tired and needed sleep. So he did then never saw him again for 2 weeks. I went up to my room and cried for hours, I cried so much i could have made a river.
{END OF FLASH BACK}
Why did I have to lie to him for so long?! Why couldn't I just tell him that I loved him! He knew didn't he, he was always saying that I felt more then just fuzzy crush type feelings for him, but I was to scared to admit it. But now I have and it's to late because he loves Monica, like he loved me, and like I love him.
But he doesn't love me.
And I know that I'm not supposed to because I slayer is not supposed to love a vampire, who tried to kill her, rape her.....love her. But screw the books they can't tell me I'm not allowed to love, that is even what the first slayer told me, Im full of love, love for a vampire who is insane and has a soul.
And it's may be hard to belive but I have never loved anyone as much as I love him, not even as much as Angel.
So I will tell the world that I Elizabeth "Buffy" Ann Summers is madly, head over heals, in love with Willaim "Spike" Gavin Osbourne.
Summary: Buffy is in Love with Spike, bu Spike has fallen out of love with Buffy. I short fic about Buffy's thoughts. Takes place in season 7, AU
Rating: PG
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------
I can still remember the day he told me he loved me for the first time. Dru was there and so was Harmony. He had Dru and I chained up to the wall of the crypt like we were some kind of animals, from what I undertsand it wasn't even supposed to happen that way, I would be chained up and Spike and Dru would kill me then drink from me together, as soul mates, as lovers, as they were suppoesed to being vampires and all. But it didn't Spike turned on Dru and locked her up with me. And then he told me he loved me, and I told him that the only chance he had with me was when I was unconscious.
How could I be such a bitch? How could I say things like that? I was stuiped and I was upset with Reily leaving earlier.
But now it is my turn to hurt, to feel the pain he felt , they pain that I caused him. Because i'm in love with Spike, but he doesn't love me anymore.
He has a new girlfriend now, and she is beauitful. Her name is Monica, she loves him, he loves her. That is what he always wanted someone who looked past he undead exteirer and could love him, because I couldn't. I see the love that he can give someone, that he gave me now, how so romantic he is, and how he treats his ladies like their queens. That could all be mine, and oh how I wish it was, but it's not. I lost him and I lost who i think is my soul mate.
I remember that day like it was yesterday even though it was only 1 month and 15 days ago. The day he told me he didn't love me anymore. We were talking about his soul and his journey to Africa. I asked him if he still felt the same way about me before he left. He just stared at the floor not saying a word for what semed like hours then he said no, he didn't but that he was sorry and that I will always remain in his heart.
{FLASH BACK}
"Spike do you...um...still you know have feelings for me?" I asked him.
Spike looked at the ground not saying a word, then lifted his head and finally spoke, "No, Buffy Im sorry I don't love you anymore. But you will always be with me."
"Oh, well um okay" I said trying to fight back all this emothion that suddenly exploded in me.
"But isn't that what you want, for me not to love you, for you not to have to have a sick, twisted insane vampire in love with you?"
"I'm not sure Spike, I'm not sure" Then I told him he better leave cause I was tired and needed sleep. So he did then never saw him again for 2 weeks. I went up to my room and cried for hours, I cried so much i could have made a river.
{END OF FLASH BACK}
Why did I have to lie to him for so long?! Why couldn't I just tell him that I loved him! He knew didn't he, he was always saying that I felt more then just fuzzy crush type feelings for him, but I was to scared to admit it. But now I have and it's to late because he loves Monica, like he loved me, and like I love him.
But he doesn't love me.
And I know that I'm not supposed to because I slayer is not supposed to love a vampire, who tried to kill her, rape her.....love her. But screw the books they can't tell me I'm not allowed to love, that is even what the first slayer told me, Im full of love, love for a vampire who is insane and has a soul.
And it's may be hard to belive but I have never loved anyone as much as I love him, not even as much as Angel.
So I will tell the world that I Elizabeth "Buffy" Ann Summers is madly, head over heals, in love with Willaim "Spike" Gavin Osbourne.