Author's Note: To Sam: I like a lot of OCs, because I like to build characters, rather than use pre-built personalities. And, I know Griss wasn't there during the window scene...I was adapting things to my own. Thanks for the input, though. Oh...and I changed the main character's name to Jenna.

~~ Chapter One: Goodbye To You ~~

Jenna rushed into the hospital room, after finally hearing which one it was. Seeing Nick lying helpless in the hospital bed, her heart filled with fear, and her eyes with tears. "Nicky? Nicky...are you ok?" she approached his motionless body, and the tears started to flow from her eyes steadily. She only saw a couple minor cuts and bruises, but seeing even those tore her in a million pieces. She wondered if there was anything else wrong with him, as she put her hand on his. "Nicky..." she whispered gently, as he opened his deep brown eyes.

He looked up, and saw Jenna standing there, looking deeply into his eyes, then turned away in shame. "What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to sound slightly annoyed. But, he couldn't mean it. How could he mean it, to the woman who rushed to be by his side, even with a few minor cuts and bruises? He had to try to fake it. Being around him was the most dangerous thing for Jenna right now, and he couldn't risk anything happening to her. If anything did happen, he'd have a complete breakdown.

"I came quickly as soon as dad called and told me you were hurt...are you ok?" Pure worry and love filled her voice, as her sweet, caring eyes landed upon his pain ridden, unfeeling ones. "Well, I mean...will you be?"

"Yeah..." he knew there wasn't much Jenna Grissom hated more than a one-word response. He thought that if there was an easy way to get her to go away, this was it. He had to do this...for her. Every breath he took was for her.

Jenna shrugged off the one word answer, thinking she understood where it came from. She didn't think Nick was trying to rid himself of her; she knew he needed her far too much to do that right now. The one word answer was to show her that his guard was still up, and that he wasn't safe until this creep was in jail. She couldn't have agreed more if she'd tried. "I love you, Nick..."

"Leave..." he hated saying these words to her, from the bottom of his heart, he hated it. "Jenna, leave...you can't be here...I'm too dangerous right now..." he tried to sound sincere. "Don't come over later, don't wait up for me at your house. I won't be there. Just stay away from me."

Jenna was shocked, but tried to understand. "Why? No, Nicky, you're not dangerous. You don't want me to really leave, do you?" she looked into his eyes, and saw right into his charade, but not past it. "You...but...I, and...no!"

"Now, Jenna...leave right now!" he raised his voice a little, trying to scare her.

It worked. Her eyes filled with tears again, she let a couple fall down her cheek, and then ran from the room in a fit of violent tears. The words he said cut through her heart like a knife through butter. She wanted to turn right around, go back, and tell him that he was killing her, but if this was the way he really wanted it, he could have it that way. She'd sacrifice anything and everything to make him happy.

"I love you, Jenna..." Nick breathed out, then stood up. "Homeward bound..." he told himself, seeing his CDs and change of clothes that Jenna brought, sitting on the table. "She brought me over...oh, man...she came here to take care of me. Now I feel like a total ass..."

Anna DeRoss and Archie Johnson, the Crime Lab's resident A/V geeks, walked into the room shortly after Jenna left. "Hey, Stokes...what's the deal, man?" Ana asked, after seeing Jenna running down the stairs, in a continuance of her fit.

"Really...Little Griss was just in a fit of insane rage going into the elevator...she didn't even hear Anna and I talking to her..." Archie and Anna always called Jenna 'Little Griss,' because she was so much like her father, it was frightening. "We immediately started worrying the worst for you, because the only way Jenna is ever this tweaked is when something happened between the two of you."

Nick let out a deep sigh, and tried to tie his shoe, only to feel immense pain in his ribs. Oh yeah...they're cracked...he reminded himself, trying to find another way to get his shoe on. "I told her I couldn't see her anymore...it's too dangerous for her with this stalker guy out for my blood, man..."

"Who said he was out for your blood? You could have just been the first available CSI to shove...you have to look at all the possibilities, Nicky..." Anna explained, pulling her long blonde hair into a ponytail, then leaning over to tie Nick's shoe for him. "You might need Jenna, with the state you're in..."

Nick shook his head. "I don't want to risk her getting hurt...she means far too much to me...you don't even vaguely understand," he confirmed. "Jenna is the most utterly beautiful woman I've ever known, in every sense of the word, and losing someone like that, I'd rather risk my own life. Just try to understand what I'm saying here..."

"I really am trying, Nick..." Archie, suddenly catching on to what was wrong with Jenna, tried to make sense of it all. "But if you love Jenna like you say you do, why hurt her like this?" he asked.

"She doesn't deserve this kind of stress, Arch...trust me, if it could be any other way, I'd make it...but it can't, so, I won't," Nick bluntly stated. He knew he seemed callous, like he didn't love Jenna, but he did, and he would go to any extent (except taking her back) to prove it. "And if she were to ever be put in any danger, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'm sorry, I just can't handle all these things at once. She's not added stress, and I'm not trying to make it seem that way..." he shook his head. "But, I really wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to her on my account..."

Anna smiled a little at the sweetness of her colleague, but then sighed at the grief he was going to put her best friend through. "Is there anything...anything at all we can say to convince you that you're wrong?" she asked, sitting on the hospital bed beside Nick.

"No, but I'm going to go home...I'm sorry, no offense or anything, I just don't want any company right now..." Nick shook his head slightly, his southern drawl showing more than a hint of tension. His eyes were glacial, and he had no hint of the usual Nick smile that rested on his lips. "I'll see you guys whenever Griss says I can come back to work, ok?"

Archie's eyes filled with concern, as he turned his glance from Anna's caring, sweet temperament, to Nick's apathetic, harsh one. Normally, Nick's eyes gleamed with happiness at the mere mention of Jenna Grissom's name. All it took was a touch from her hand, and he was completely fine, no matter what bothered him. "Don't hesitate to call if you need anything, ok Nick?"

"Really, Nicky...Arch and I are always available, if you ever need a friend, or anything..." Anna insisted, resting a friendly hand on his.

Harshly and abruptly, Nick pulled his hand away. "Thanks, I'll remember that guys..." he nodded, a slight hint of irritation in his eyes. As Anna and Archie walked away, sort of offended, Nick sighed deeply again, and called their attention. "Archie, Anna...wait a second, guys..." he called.

"Yeah?" Archie turned around, hoping for some sort of sentiment to send to Jenna, or even toward them. "What's up...?"

"Tell Jenna I said to call me if she's not too upset to, ok?" Nick shrugged, seeming a little less hard-hearted when he said Jenna's name.

"Definitely..." Anna nodded, flashing a nervous grin, and following Archie to his car.

~~

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.
I want what's yours, and I want what's mine,
I want you, but I'm not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
'Goodbye To You' – Michelle Branch