Author's Note: Whoa...thank you ALL so much for all the feedback. I'm not gonna stop writing just because of one bad review, though. That's not something I do, LOL. Thank you so much to Dawn, Angelic Little Devil, Amaran Barrantes, Franny, Maria...thank you all so much! You all get your own lil credit space, WOOHOO! LOL!

~~ Chapter Seven: How Do I Deal? ~~

Nick's eyes were filled with fury. He hated Rylea, and he didn't even know her. Was that wrong? How could Griss hire her? What the hell is his problem? Damn, she's the VISION of Jenna! She better not try to replace her, or she's on my permanent shit list. He watched Gil rush up to his car, and kept his anger flowing, although at this time, it wasn't much of a chore.

"Nick! What's your problem? I know you're going through a lot right now, but sooner or later, you're gonna have to work with Rylea, you know?" Gil asked, approaching Nick in a hurry, since he assumed Nick was on the verge of leaving anyway.

"Did you KNOW what this would do to me? Is THAT why you hired her?" Nick raised his voice a little, realizing that it was a mistake, but not caring in the least. "She looks ALMOST EXACTLY like Jenna...you know how HARD it's gonna be to come to work every day? Damn it, Grissom!"

"I know, Nick...you're forgetting, Jenna was MY daughter..." Gil narrowed his eyes at the younger CSI, bearing in mind that he was losing someone special to him as well. "I loved her just as much as you did..."

Nick sighed. "I know, I just feel like I lost as much of myself as I did of her...does that make any sense?" he asked, tears refilling his eyes, for the millionth time that week.

Gil nodded, his own eyes trying to conceal tears. "Jenna is going to be the best thing we ever lost..." He was the brave, tough, father figure, so he couldn't cry in front of one of his 'kids.' After all, if he did, Nick would just get worse, which would cause Gil to get worse, and it would be a never ending chain of tears and pain, which was something neither of them could deal with.

Nick looked past the irony in that statement, and agreed wholeheartedly with Gil. "And, if we ever find someone who can compare to her, we will be the luckiest people in the world, to have experienced true and utter beauty more than once in our lifetimes..." he wondered where that sentiment was during the funeral. If he'd thought of that then, maybe he would have stayed. He may have even been a little better off at this point in time.

"Why don't you give Rylea a chance...seeing someone that's even remotely like Jenna may be therapy for both of us..." Gil shocked himself by suggesting this to Nick, who was clearly going to laugh at the thought. Either that or get extremely angry.

Nick nodded, surprising both himself and Gil. "It'll take me awhile, but I'll warm up to her eventually...I just kinda feel like she's trying to replace Jenna. That much resemblance is scary, you agree?" he asked, pointing to the door, signaling that he was actually going to reenter the building.

Gil was surprised at that, but nodded in agreement, then said, "Yeah, I agree, but Jenna had a look that was unattainable by trying. Believe me, she tried to give her friends makeovers so they'd all look alike one time...it was not pretty..." he laughed at the memory of Jenna's slumber parties, and all the make-up and pizza she went through in one night, trying to make her friends Laura, Jessie and Mandy up like her. They realized halfway through the night that it wasn't going to happen, and just pigged out on pizza, all on Gil's dime, of course.

"Literally, or just..." Nick laughed for the first time in days, and he had Gil to thank for that.

"Literally..." Gil shared Nick's laugh, and walked into the building with him.

~~

Rylea thought to herself for a couple seconds, after finally being shown around by Dr. Robbins. What if all of this was a mistake? Every colleague she had already hated her. Well, maybe not hated her exactly, but resented her. She knew that much. She did look uncannily like Jenna, though. Maybe all she needed was a makeover? She ran her hand over her hair, and decided that was out of the question. She adored her hair too much to ever change that, and her whole 'look' took too much to perfect. Maybe she'd just have to get used to being called 'Jenna' all the time. It may take awhile, but she could do it. Maybe they'd even get used to her, and start remembering her name after awhile. She decided then, that she was going to hang out in the break room, before Grissom gave her first case to her. Maybe someone was there for her to point her name out to, and make absolutely sure that they had it right. But when she got there, what she saw made her want to cry with sympathy.

~~

Nick thought about everything for a second, during his break. Maybe Rylea was a blessing in disguise? What if she was Jenna, embodied to him? Well, not embodied, but returned. If she was, was he actually going to do anything about it? He couldn't lose anyone else that was even close to like her. He didn't want to go through that pain again. But what if she was the next woman in his life? She was so much like Jenna that it was almost impossible NOT to think that she may be next. But what if something was to go wrong again, and he'd lose her in some twist of fate, like he had Jenna? He couldn't handle that. He'd tried with everything inside him to protect Jenna, only to have it all come crumbling down at his feet, and her getting killed in his efforts. Imagine, if he had just NOT told her to stay away from him, he would have been at her house that night, and she wouldn't have been killed. He closed his eyes and started to cry, only to have a soft, warm, almost familiar hand touch his shoulder.

~~

How do I deal with you?
How do I deal with me?
When I don't even know myself
Or what it is you want from me?
~~ 'How Do I Deal?' – Jennifer Love Hewitt ~~