~~ Chapter Eight: Contradiction (Petals) ~~
Nick jumped. That touch...is it? He turned around. No, of course not...he sighed. There she was...the person he loathed, abominated, despised, and every other existent synonym. But that gentle touch...it brought back every feeling he'd ever felt when Jenna touched him. How could he ever hate someone so gentle and sweet? Simple, just think of Jenna and the fact that THIS was her replacement. That made him feel like everyone in the world was turning their backs on him. He stared into the eyes of the woman he so hated, and shook his head quickly, realizing he was starting to hate her less and less every second. "Yeah?" he rudely asked.
"Are you ok?" Rylea asked, in the same gentle tone Jenna had always used. She had everything. How could she...?
Nick sighed, and wondered if it was safe to let himself go around her. He decided against that, indefinitely. "Yeah, fine..." he callously stated. Why did I do that? Because you hate her, Nick. Right? Yeah, it's definitely justified.
Rylea nodded, figuring he was going to be the one that never got used to her. She nodded, and turned from him, starting to walk toward the door. "Ok, then, sorry I asked," she sighed.
Nick watched her walk away, and the second her hand touched the doorknob, he yelled out, "Wait..."
She turned around slowly, expecting an angry tone, or some sort of screaming session. "Yes?" she seemed a little annoyed, and rightfully so.
Nick sighed. "I'm sorry, Rylea, I just feel like-..."
"I'm trying to replace Jenna? I know, I figured you all would feel that way..." Rylea explained, understanding completely that Nick was going through personal hell-fire right now. "It's ok, I totally understand, she meant a lot to you, and it's tough to lose someone like that. And, I'll completely accept you maybe taking it out on me for a little while. After all, I do look so much like her, it's rather scary."
She sees it too...Nick grinned. "Yeah, but I have no reason to take it out on you, Rylea...I'm sorry, I just..."
"No worries," Rylea cleared her throat, and headed back over to Nick. She had been trained in psychology, and if she couldn't be a CSI, she was going to be a grief counselor. It was time to put her aptitudes to good use. "And, by the way, I'm always here if you need to talk. That goes for all of you, but you're the first one I've had the chance to say it to..."
Nick didn't know what to think. He wanted to be angry about that suggestion, but something inside of him told him that it was sincere. He flashed an unsure grin, and nodded a thank you to Rylea. "That means a lot, thanks," he leaned back on the couch, his tears starting to diminish.
Rylea had seen so many people in pain, but no pain this sincere and deep. He loved Jenna with all his heart, and now it was Rylea's personal mission to make the pain and hurt go away, or at least subside a little. She leaned back, and started to feel like something was going to go right, or terribly wrong.
~~
"Yeah, mom...my colleagues are really nice..." Rylea told her mother on the phone. Rylea had always considered her relationship with her mother the strongest and most honest relationship she'd ever had. "And my boss is really...something original. He keeps staring at me like I'm his long lost daughter or something...probably because I look like his daughter."
"Really?" her mother, Gabrielle Patterson's voice got a nervous tone, which Rylea immediately sensed. "What's your...boss' name?" she asked.
"Gil Grissom, why?" Rylea asked, starting to worry. When the other side of the line went silent for a while, Rylea cleared her throat, and shouted. "Mom! You there?" she was a little bit worried.
"Uh, yeah, honey..." Gabrielle got nervous, but tried to shrug it all off as a coincidence. There are probably a ton of Gil Grissom's in Las Vegas...she thought, unrealistically. "What's the other girl's name? The girl you're replacing, I mean?" she asked, secretly hoping for any answer but the one that she was about to get.
"Jenna...why?" Rylea asked, suddenly hearing her mom drop the phone, then scatter to pick it back up. "Mom? Mom, are you ok?"
"I dreaded this day, Ry...I really did. But, there's something I need to tell you," Gabrielle's voice got tense, and Rylea knew that she was about to hear some life changing news.
"Oh boy..." Rylea sat down on her couch, and waited to hear whatever it was.
"When I was twenty or so, and a junior in college, honey, I met this man..." Gabrielle started to explain the long story to her daughter. "And, well, I fell in love. We..."
Rylea knew the rest of the story, and stood up in anger. "Are you telling me...Gil Grissom is my...father?" she asked, her voice filling quickly with hostility toward her mother, for hiding this from her for so long. "What about Chris?" she referred to the man she had always thought was her father.
"I married him shortly after you and Jenna were born, and Gil and I split up..." she explained. "Honey, I didn't want you to be a part of all that investigation and gore and stuff, what's why when you got interested in it, I tried to discourage-..."
"So...I've thought the wrong man was my father my entire life? Does he know that he had twin daughters?" Rylea asked.
"No...he wasn't there when the two of you were born...he wanted to be, but," Gabrielle sighed.
"So...AUGH mom! I have to call him...no, better yet, YOU have to call him! He deserves to hear this from you! Mom! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Rylea began to cry.
"Rylea, darling...I knew if I told you, you'd want to go find him...and then, he wouldn't have believed you, and you would have been crushed. I couldn't handle that!" Gabrielle pleaded with Rylea.
"So, you figured it was better that I went through life living a lie?" Rylea squeezed the phone in her hand. "Mom, you're calling him, and telling him, and if he doesn't know by tomorrow, I'm giving him all your numbers, home, work, cell and car, so he'll be able to reach you, and ask you himself. Damn it! I have to go, bye mom!" she didn't wait for an answer, hung up the phone, and left the house.
~~
I love you, I love you, I love you, so tell me no.
I love you, I love you, I love you, leave me alone.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I need you so.
Tell me more, but don't let me know too much;
My knowledge screws me up.
~~ 'Contradiction' – Kelly Osbourne ~~
I've often wondered if there's ever been a perfect family
I've always fought for undividedness, and sought stability
A flower taught me how to change, but as I grew, that flower changed
She started flailing in the wind, like golden petals scattering
~~ 'Petals' – Mariah Carey ~~