Yay! The next chapter! Yayness! About the cookies, you sure you want them? Anne actually made some, course they are all lumpy and funny looking… erm… yes. Might make you vomit.. PG-13 warning stands for language, slight sexual references, enjoy the show! (Note: corrected the spelling/grammar mistakes (for the most part..)… proof reading = good)).
Disclaimer: Escaflowne and Hunchback of Notre Dame = not ours.
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Our beautiful girl from the Mystic Moon found herself trapped within the cathedral. Hitomi quickly ran to the door to find that guards were posted at every door.
"Huh? How and why am I in here?" asked Hitomi, her head cocked sideways in question.
Because we are lazy as hell and had to follow the plot. Merle pranced around Hitomi, tripping over her own feet.
PUFF PUFF
Hitomi began to sob to herself, and then sang to soothe her soul.
I don't know if this is a dream,
Or maybe a vision…
I don't know if this is real
To a high school girl.
Yes I know I'm just a psychic
I shouldn't scry to you
Still I see you're face and wonder
Were you once an outcast too?
"SHUT UP!!!!!"
Hitomi spun around, her short hair blowing in the nonexistent wind as her emerald eyes opened wide in surprise and question. She spotted the albino boy whom she had pulled upon the stage and smiled to him, her heart beating slightly faster.
"What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."
"I said. S.H.U.T. U.P.!"
She stared at him, wide eyed.
"Stupid bitch! It is a church after all!" he whirled and marched back up the stairs, slamming the door to emphasize his point.
"How…considerate…" she gushed, her eyes with huge stars appearing in them. [A/N: Wha?] She quickly chased after him in hopes of talking, perhaps exchanging business cards in the process.
"Hey, what are you doing all alone in a big, dark, scary place like this?"
She whirled around, anger coursing through her veins ready to tell the intruder to fuck off, when suddenly…
"Amano-senpai!?" exclaimed Hitomi, quickly running over and wrapping her arms around him.
"Huh?" Allen gulped looking down upon the girl who was squeezing him, feeling his face going blue. "Uh, no, sorry."
Hitomi's face fell in disappointment, she hadn't returned to Earth and escaped this horrible fic. Looking up, she found him strangely handsome with the Amano-senpai looks reflecting lovingly back towards her.
"I'm sorry. My name is Hitomi Kanzaki, pleased to meet your acquaintance."
Allen grinned, flipped his hair over his shoulder and bowed in a gentleman's fashion while planting a kiss on her hand. "My name is Allen, it means 'precious' in ancient Germanic. Or, in Gaelic form of ailian meaning 'little rock'. And then there is…."
He paused noticing that Hitomi was giving him a strange look with her eyebrows raised.
"Uh… sure. Hitomi means 'eyes'."
"Beautiful, much better than… well, maybe not," chuckled Allen, patting himself on the back.
Meanwhile, standing in the doorway stood, dun dun dun, the damn sexy Judge Van with his mouth open in terror. He had forgotten about the whole Amano-senpai fixation, and quickly decided to do something about it.
"Allen, couldn't there be some other girl that you be picking up?" Van hissed dangerously, shooting a nasty look to Hitomi as well.
"Oh no sir. I'm perfectly happy with this one right here." Allen smiled, wrapping his arm around her waist.
Van exploded, wings bursting forth in a spray of blood as fangs sprang forth and fire exploded around him. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" snarled Van, looking a little less human than usual.
"Oh Van, you're so cute when you're angry!" giggled Hitomi.
"Oh, you two are together?" Allen questioned conversationally.
"YES SHE"S WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!" roared Van, flame and blood spewing from his mouth, wings beating madly.
"Oh, well, we were just being friendly. Right, Hitomi-chan?" Allen purred, sniffing her hair and kissing the top of her head.
We can't even describe what Van looks like right now.
"Come, Captain Precious, we have much official business to attend to!" Van mumbled, wiping the blood and froth from his chin.
"We do sir? What is it?" Allen questioned innocently.
"Me kicking your ASS!!!" Van said, grabbing his ear and dragging him out the door.
"Bye bye Hitomi-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!" waved Allen as he disappeared out the door. Hitomi thought that Van's hand, reaching through the door and snagging Allen around the neck, looked rather funny all bent and clawed like that. Oh well.
Hitomi turned, swearing she had heard soft music, wafting through the cathedral. Pushing an old woman out of the way, Hitomi followed the sound up a long, spiraled stony staircase until she reached a large wooden, slightly charred, door. She pushed it open, stepping inside and stopped in horror!
Chesta and Dilandau were dancing perkily as Migel sang karaoke to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. A rock sat smiling in the corner.
"Errm…Excuse me?" Hitomi said hesitantly.
ZZIIIPP!!!!
The music cut off as the Dragonslayers turned horrified towards their master. Dilandau, a psychotic look of horror etched across his face, whirled upon his Dragonslayers.
"Which one of you incompetent numbskulls left the door unlocked!?!!" shrieked the demonic albino.
"You were the last one up, Dilandau-sama." Migel bowed apologetically.
SMACK!!!
The Dragonslayers proceeded to turn to stone to avoid their master's wrath.
Merle looked down and suddenly noticed that the rock was suddenly right by her, smiling. It creeped her out. Inhaling deeply, the cat-girl quickly moved behind Hitomi, only to find the rock waiting for her, smiling.
"I think rocky likes you, kitty-cat…thing." Dilandau cackled. "What the hell are you doing up here!" he demanded, turning back to Hitomi.
"I was uh…ano…so, this is where you live?" Hitomi said, obviously changing the subject.
"Do I look stupid to you!?" growled Dilandau, pulling out his sword and swinging it towards Hitomi's neck.
"Wait! I just predicted that you will have much blood and death in your future, and.. and… it seems to be caused by you!" yelped Hitomi quickly shutting her eyes to prepare herself for the blow of the sword.
Dilandau paused and lowered his sword, "Really?"
"Do you want me to do a tarot reading, it can predict your past, present, and future," babbled Hitomi attempting to catch her breath.
"Why the hell not, I have nothing else to do," sighed Dilandau sitting down. Shrugging, Hitomi decided that had to be better than death.
"Let's begin," she said sitting down across from him and pulling the tarot cards out.
Through the sewer a small boat slowly slips through the water at record speed, thanks to the power of motors. A couple sits huddled together, trying to protect their child from the bitter wind.
"What wind? It's the sewer."
Shut up. Zongi, the official drag queen throughout all the parody fics, tries desperately to quiet the child. Moleman demands more money for safe passage into Asturia, or else they can navigate the sewers on their own ….
"Shut up! We already know that!" growled Dilandau, flailing his arms around to move the mist that showed us, the viewers, the vision. Merle is meanwhile running away from a rock.
"Try once more." Hissed Dilandau.
Hitomi, heavily annoyed, finally said, "You bring the Apocalypse upon Asturia. Everyone dies. The End."
"Really!?" Dilandau cried, clapping, "I like you, you have spunk. I'll let you live…for now."
"Gee…thanks…" Hitomi looked around, when a sparkle of glass in the sun caught her eye. She got to her feet and hurried over to a table, cluttered with carved figures and colored glass. Was this a side of Dilandau others hadn't seen?
"What is this?" she asked gesturing to the table.
"The Apocalypse you predicted for me! I have been dreaming of it since my youth!"
Nevermind. On the table, wooden figures of half-rotted corpses dragged through the street amongst well-detailed little bones. The buildings were painted black and charred with glass fire and paper mache' bursting out from every nook and cranny.
"Oh how…lovely…" Hitomi said flatly, wishing she never came up, "Did you make these all yourself?"
"Yep!" Dilandau declared proudly.
"Hey, what's this?" Hitomi inquired, lifting a small cloth against her better judgment.
"Oh no! They're not done! I still need to paint them!" Dilandau screamed reeling his hand back to bitch-slap her.
"Oh it's….Van and you're…skewering him…and you look so happy about it and he looks in quite a lot of pain…a lot of blood with his wings crumpled up and on fire…"
"They're nothing." Dilandau, blushing furiously, waved his hands dismissingly. Hitomi decided to pick a safer subject.
"So you live here all alone?"
Dilandau suddenly began to twitch convulsively. "No…." he began, starting to drool, "no, don't leave me alone…!"
Hitomi, deeply concerned, began edge away. Just then, he suddenly snapped out of it and smiled charmingly.
"Of course not! There's my dumbass Dragonslayers…my rock…Van…" he said flatly, "and of course the bells." He pointed up as the bells seem to chime of their own free will.
"Will you introduce me to them?" asked Hitomi smiling towards Dilandau.
"Are you stupid, they are inanimate objects," sighed Dilandau then shrugged, "Very well, follow me."
Hitomi followed closely, however keeping smart distance, Dilandau who lead the way up to the bells. All the bells stood in a line, not the usual cooper color but rather a filmy charred color. Dilandau quickly ran over to the smallest and turned back around to Hitomi.
"This ones 'Fire'."
"Eh…" squeaked Hitomi, "How lovely…"
"And that's 'BURN', all caps; and 'Burn, with a capital 'B'; and finally 'burn', all lower case. Triplets you know. And the one over there I lovingly call 'KILL VAN'. And this," he said pausing beside the largest, "Is Apocalypse!"
"Do you have some sort of fixation with the Apocalypse?" asked Hitomi walking up beside the largest bell.
"No… why do you ask?"
"…"
Hitomi proceeded to smile and nod, hoping not to set the wrong impression with Dilandau. Merle stalked up, falling over in the process (obviously stoned) and walked inside and meowed that echoed throughout the tower.
"Ugggg," replied Merle.
"I've saved the best for last, come woman!" Dilandau called over his shoulder, bouncing happily, as he ran up a set of stairs, which a minute ago weren't there. Hitomi followed obediently to the top of the tower. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she stepped out onto the balcony.
The sun was setting giving the city an orange glow, the sky seeming to melt into a mixture resembling a painters tablet.
"Oh! It's so pretty! I could stay up here forever," gushed Hitomi, sitting down beside Dilandau.
"Like hell you will," grunted Dilandau, perched on the rail. "It reminds me so much of the Apocalypse at sunset, just imagine the city on fire, the screams of agony rising through the foul air, ahh, that is my dream."
"Uh, yeah."
"You know, my parents were psychics too," Dilandau said attempting to carry on a conversation for once in his life.
"Really? You don't look much like a psychic to me, more like a psycho."
"Yeah… HEY!" cried Dilandau, "That's it, time for you to go."
"But there are guards at all the doors, I feel so hopeless, can you help me?" asked Hitomi looking at Dilandau with puppy-dog eyes.
"Ahhhh…. Stop it!" growled Dilandau, "I'll help you get down the same way I got down this morning."
"Really?!"
A few minutes later we see Hitomi's body flying through the air from the top of the tower at Mach2. She landed on a couple of guards, killing them on impact.
"Well, that was fun! All's well that ends well, right Merle!" Hitomi said getting up and brushing herself off, stepping on the dead bodies as she started going home.
"Uuuuggggghhhh," replied Merle, obviously not agreeing with the trip.
Back in the tower, Dilandau watched, disappointed. "Damn, she didn't die…"
"Excuse me," said the obvious voice of a pansy, "I'm looking for Hitomi, have you seen her?"
"AH! No women! Get out!" shouted Dilandau, grabbing a torch off the wall.
"I'm a man!" cried Allen, offended.
"You sure as hell don't look it Girlie!"
"Wait, I've been searching for you Dilandau…" Allen said, then paused as Dilandau screamed insults at him. "I have reason to believe you're my sister."
"AAAAAHHH!!!!" screamed Dilandau, waving the torch around, hoping to catch Allen on fire, forcing him into the stair well.
"I guess not…well…about what happened today, how's your cheek?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Dilandau reaching out and snatching Allen by the neck, lifting him off the floor.
"That….good…huh?" choked Allen, face turning different shades of blue.
Dilandau was foaming at the mouth by this point.
"Just…looking…for…Hitomi….you're friend?…we….family…" gasped Allen, sounding a lot like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch, another Disney classic just open to parodism.
"She is not my friend!" shouted Dilandau, throwing Allen down the stairs and listening with satisfaction as the knight tumbled down the stairs.
THUD
THUD
THUD
THUD
CRASH!
"Owies…" Allen's moan echoed up to the albino, who smiled smugly.
"Splendid show, Dilandau-sama!" Migel chimed.
"That girl never had a chance against you!" added Chesta.
" " said the rock.
"The nerve! Trying to steal your girl…!"
"MY GIRL!!!!??" whirled Dilandau, fire burning in his eyes.
"Err, maybe not."
And that was the end of that discussion. Dilandau sighed and flopped down beside his table of Apocalypse. He picked up a chunk of driftwood and proceeded to hack at it with his dagger. He paused, glancing at the rock.
"What's that rocky? Awww, I was unaware of your feelings. I'll spare the cat-thing from my Apocalyptic ending."
The Dragonslayers peeked over his shoulder and saw he was carving a little Hitomi figure. They smiled and nudged each other in the ribs, convinced their master had a crush on the mystic girl. Dilandau painted it with great care. He then got up and went to the table.
SNAP!
He placed the now snapped in two Hitomi amongst the fires in a pre-painted puddle of blood. "There," he smiled demonically.
The Dragonslayers sighed.
Meanwhile, thunder is heard in the distance, coming from, of course, Van's abode.
DUN DUN DUN.
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,,, Wow, that was weird. Question is why Van let's Dilandau have all this weaponry… This was hard as hell to write, didn't have action in it. -_- Anne's brother is in town meaning that they'll be hanging out around Numair's house (hahaa). Hopefully the next one chapter will be better (perhaps get it made sometime next week). Be good and review, or else the Pyro will get you! (not really…. But hey).