Famous Last Words, Chapter 5
Nick had been sitting on the couch for an hour now, just staring at the phone. It had been over a week since he had last heard from Kaylee. She hadn't even called to say she'd gotten into her new apartment okay. He knew he shouldn't worry – she had said she'd needed some time away from the situation to get her head cleared, but this was ridiculous. And there was nothing he could do – he didn't have her new phone number, and didn't think it would be appropriate for him to call her at work. Besides, she had the bar exam in a couple of weeks and was probably just busy studying for it. He sighed and shook his head. All this backing and forthing in his head was making him dizzy.
***
Kaylee glanced up from the books in her lap to stare at the phone again. She sighed, mentally slapping herself. It hadn't been an easy decision not to call Nick with an update on her apartment and phone number and all, but she just couldn't face him right now, and with good reason. She was terrified of men ever since her last run-in with David. If Nick hadn't called when he did, David wouldn't have known anyone would miss Kaylee, and probably would have killed her. But no matter how scared she was of the male race, she couldn't keep her thoughts off Nick. There was just something about him that screamed to her she could trust him, that he cared about her. She swore and chucked a book across the room, watching with a smug look on her face as it hit the wall with a loud thump and fell to the floor in a heap of twisted paper. With shaking hands, she picked up the phone and dialed, letting it ring once before hanging up. He'd know it was her and that she was okay, she hoped. Five minutes later, she dialed again and let it ring until she heard him answer.
"Nick, it's Kaylee."
"Kaylee. Thank God." She smiled as he said that. Yep. He cared all right. "I was starting to wonder if everything was okay."
"Everything's great. I just thought I'd take a break from the studying and let you know I got into the apartment okay." She didn't give him a chance to speak. "I know you're probably worried about me, but I'm fine. I mean, David doesn't know where I am, so he can't find me or anything, and I've just been really busy studying and all. I've got the bar next week, so I haven't really had time for anything else." Her words came at warp speed, and he had to strain to keep up.
"Kaylee. Slow down," he interrupted. She paused.
"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous," she admitted.
"Nervous? Why?" He heard her sigh heavily.
"I figured you'd be mad at me after what happened." His brow furrowed. "I mean, after everything you did for me, I just kinda blew you off and I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. You've been through hell. You deserve some time to get things straightened out," he assured her. She smiled to herself.
"I never thanked you."
"You don't need to. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."
"I, uh, started counseling last week," she said quietly. She silently prayed he wouldn't take that to mean she was a nutcase. "Some psychologist for battered women."
"Yeah? I think it's a good idea," he said. She heard nothing but honesty in his voice, and smiled.
"She's actually helping quite a bit," Kaylee admitted, her voice timid. "I'm going three times a week right now." Silence ensued. After a few moments, Kaylee cleared her throat. "I should probably let you go. I've got to get back to studying, and I'm sure you're busy." Nick smiled.
"Well, I'm not busy, but you should probably hit the books some more. Good luck on the test."
"Thanks," she said. He heard the smile in her voice. "I'll call you."
"I'm looking forward to it," he said, taking her last comment to mean she didn't want him calling her. "Take care of yourself."
"I will."
***
"I just don't know if I can." Kaylee's voice was strained and panicked. She paced around the office nervously. "I mean, it's only been two months, you know? I don't know if I'm ready. Do you think I am?"
"Kaylee, only you know whether or not you're ready." The psychologist's voice was calm and soothing, but it wasn't helping Kaylee at all. "I can't give you the answers, Kaylee. I can only give you tools to find them on your own." She watched Kaylee plop down into a chair. "When was the last time you talked to him?"
"A month and a half ago."
"That was when you told him you were seeing me?" Kaylee nodded. "Well, from what you said, he's understanding of your situation. He's the one that helped you out of it, right?" Another nod. "And you haven't seen him since?" Kaylee shook her head no.
"I called him a little over a week later to let him know I was okay, but that was the last I talked to him."
"Do you think you'd be comfortable seeing him again?" Kaylee shrugged. "Are you scared of him?"
"I'm scared of everyone," Kaylee said, her voice quivering.
"The only way to change that fear is to face it," Dr. Rachel Kelly said. Kaylee nodded.
"I don't think I can," Kaylee whispered. Dr. Kelly took a breath and held it for a moment before speaking.
"What's his name?" A hint of a smile flashed across Kaylee's face.
"Nick. Nick Stokes."
"What does he do?"
"He's a night shift crime scene investigator. He was a cop for a while in Texas," Kaylee said quietly.
"Texas, huh?" Dr. Kelly smiled. "So you're both from the South then." Kaylee nodded. "How far is Texas from Tennesee?"
"About eight hours drive, depending on where," Kaylee answered.
"He understands where you're coming from?"
"Tennesee?" Kaylee asked, eyebrow raised. Dr. Kelly laughed.
"No, I mean with David."
"Oh." Kaylee laughed in spite of herself. "Yeah, I guess." She knew exactly where Dr. Kelly was going with this. She had every reason to trust Nick, and she knew it. She just couldn't act on it. "I know what you're getting at, Rachel. I just don't know if I can. I trust him, but I don't trust him, you know what I mean?" Dr. Kelly nodded.
"You're the only one that can sort that out, Kaylee." She glanced at her watch. "Well, it's about that time. I wish I could keep talking to you, but I've got another appointment. I'll call you tonight, okay?" Kaylee nodded. She didn't know it, but she was a special case for Rachel. Kaylee reminded Rachel of herself. They were more than psychologist and patient – they were friends. Rachel watched her stand and head toward the door, stopping a few feet short and turning.
"Rachel," she started, smiling slightly. "Thanks for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you." Rachel returned the smile and stood, going to Kaylee to wrap her in a hug.
"You'd do just fine, Kaylee. You're a strong woman. Nick's lucky to have met you." Kaylee pulled away and snickered.
"Yeah, right before I turned into a complete basket case." Rachel started to protest, but Kaylee waved her off. "Kidding. Thanks a million. Are we still on for lunch on Saturday?" Rachel nodded, and Kaylee was gone.
***
Nick and Warrick sat on the couch, screaming at the television. Texas was playing, and Nick had threatened Warrick into cheering for his team, so they cheered and booed in unison, completely absorbed by the game. That is, until the doorbell rang.
"That can't be the pizza already," Warrick said, looking up at Nick. Nick just shrugged and went to the door.
"Maybe they finally got their asses in gear," he said with a chuckle. He pulled the door open and stifled a gasp, taking a couple steps backward. "Kaylee. Hi." She heard the game in the other room, and a live voice cheering along with it, and immediately kicked herself. She should have called first.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything," she stammered, turning to go.
"No. You're not interrupting. Just watching the game. C'mon in," Nick countered quickly. This was a good sign – she was reaching out. To him. She smiled weakly and stepped into his apartment for the second time. "This is my buddy Warrick." Kaylee grew uneasy, and Nick sensed it. "We work together. Warrick, this is Kaylee." Warrick smiled and nodded.
"Can I talk to you for a minute,
Nick?" Kaylee asked, glancing at the front door. He followed her onto the front
porch and she fidgeted with her fingers. "I didn't know you had someone over."
"Don't worry about it. You're
more than welcome to join us," Nick insisted.
"I know. I just…" She sighed. "I just wanted to see you." Nick tried to read her, but wasn't following. "It's a slow process. I can't stay."
"Is it because Warrick's here?" She answered with her silence. "I'm sorry Kaylee. Do you want to go somewhere?" She shook her head, finally meeting his eyes.
"I don't want to steal you from your friend. And you're dying to watch the game, so I'm going to go," she said firmly.
"Kaylee—" She shook her head, stopping him.
"It's okay. I'll call you tomorrow." He started to say something, but she stopped him again. "It's not worth it, Nick. I couldn't have stayed very long anyway." She forced a smile. "I'll call you tomorrow," she repeated. He nodded and watched her go before heading back into the apartment.
"Did she leave already?" Warrick asked. Nick nodded slowly and slumped onto the couch. "Don't worry, man. She just needs some time. Let her do this at her own pace." Nick nodded again and sighed.
"I just wish her pace was a little faster."
"Nick—"
"I know, I know. I'm just frustrated, you know? She knows she can trust me."
"Nick, knowing she can trust you and having the courage to act on her feelings are two completely different things. She was betrayed by someone she trusted. It'll take some time."
"I know."
"Good things come to those who wait, Nick." Nick nodded and stared at the television. He'd never tell Warrick, but he didn't think anyone could wait forever.