Disclaimer: Character Do Not Belong To Me. I'm Poor Don't Sue Me! =(
Unravel
The night was so beautiful. I remembered that spot well, the place where fireflies gathered. They shone so beautifully. It was as if they knew he would say goodbye. Then, it seemed like he would never return home, to me. But he did and I thanked the gods for that. However, had I known what I knew now I would have thought things differently. If I knew it would be difficult to say goodbye to him again I would have tossed him out the day I met him. Ok, maybe I wouldn't have, it was just a thought.
He grasped my hands again. I watched as he tried to form words but I beat him to it. "I have to go."
He shook his head. "We must speak about this Kaoru-dono. You can't go off on your own."
I tore away from his grasp and my voice was bitter. "I've been on my own for years now, Kenshin. I think I can take care of myself."
"You know what I meant."
I did know what he meant, but not at that moment. He wanted me to stay, to share my demons with him. Had I known that it would have done me some good I probably would have but it was impossible.
"Had I known I would have returned immediately ..." His voice was hoarse, I think he was trying not to cry.
"But you didn't."
"Sessha only meant the best," he explained. I could see him sinking into that dark depression that I had feared. "Sessha thought that disappearing from your lives was best. That all traces of this ex-hitokiri would disappear so no harm would come to you all."
I hid the cynical smile that formed on my lips. "I know you did but there are some things you just can't control."
"Had sessha known .. had ..."
I caressed his hair and gave him a small smile. "I know Kenshin, I know."
I almost flinched when he covered my hand with his. I couldn't deal with so many things then.
"Kaoru-dono ..."
"You better go back to Aya-san or she will get worried."
He let go of my hand at the mention of her name. There was the sadness in his eyes, and newly formed guilt that plagued him. It hurt to see him like that, that I had been the cause of the pain he was feeling. "Come back with me."
"You know I can't." I wished I could but he was no longer mine to love.
"Yes, you can."
"Maybe one day we'll meet again. But there is too much—" I trailed off not knowing what else to say.
I was content when he nodded. He did understand. He knew what it was like and knew that I had to be alone, at least then. I hoped that he would find happiness with that woman, she was what he needed. I watched as he turned to leave and I had almost forgotten to tell him.
"Congratulations, on your marriage."
He stared at me. Was that confusion in his eyes? "What are you talking about?" I supposed it was.
"On your marriage to Aya-san. She said ... her husband ..."
He smiled at me sadly. "We're not married."
I blinked. "But I thought that's why you..."
No. That's ridiculous. I didn't want him to tell me that didn't leave because of her. We didn't suffer for nothing.
"No, she married a young fisherman that lives here. I couldn't marry her and she knew that. Like you, I was just passing through."
My heart shattered in pieces and I broke. My face crumpled and my voice cracked, "but I thought you loved her." This was too much. For years I had thought he was happy with her ...
"Kaoru-dono?!" He ran to my side. "Are you alright?"
I snapped. "You left us because of her!" So maybe I did think he was at fault, maybe it was my selfishness getting the best of me but it had been year since I had broken down.
"I left to escort her back home ... My intention was to guide her safely back and return to wandering. Did you think sessha—?"
I almost laughed at the irony. "You have go to be kidding," my voice was sobbing as the images of Yahiko and those men came into my mind. "All for nothing .. useless ..." I began rambling on and on about things that made no sense, at least to him.
"Kaoru-dono?!" His voice was panicked but my mind went back to that day.
