Okay, so Harry and Hermione were walking to Divination, hoping that nothing bad would happen. Okay, so they're actually kind of running to Divination, because Filch just got dumped by his girlfriend, and is chasing people throughout the school. That's beside the point.
"You'd think that school would be more dignified," Hermione said; as Harry had to practically drag her to her next class. Before they were able to arrive, an announcement from some guy came from overhead.
"Everyone, go to your like, cafeteria, or whatever they call that," the girl said. "Like, omigosh, my master, who is Voldemort by the way, but don't tell anyone that cuz it's a huge secret or something, told me to like distract you, so like, how do I do that?"
"Voldemort's plans are usually slightly more brilliant than that," Harry commented.
"Who cares?" someone asked. "It makes the story more interesting, so shut up, Harry!"
Anyway, judging by the fact that Voldemort's servant wanted them to go to the Great Hall, they are obviously not bright enough to realize that they are all walking into traps. So, swarms of students go running in that direction, and Harry and Hermione are getting pushed. Closer to where Filch is standing.
"Oh dear God!" Harry said.
"Petrificus totalus," Hermione said. With that, she knocked him over the banister, causing him to land on top of Collin. Luckily, he was able to take a picture of him, before the lens cracked from his hideousness and odor.
"Where should we go?" Harry asked.
Realizing that nothing in this story makes even a remote amount of sense, I'll add something else. A muggle with an extraordinary gift for being able to see things that aren't there, either that, or he forgets his happy pills, walks into the school.
"Boys and girls, I'm here to tell you about working in a business. Business is very business like. So, I couldn't afford to go to college, so I…"
Meanwhile, someone found Voldemort, and shot arrows at him, and now he can't see. I know that's impossible, but the person who made the arrow loved it, so there. Didn't think of that, huh? Maybe you should start talking to trees more often! Anyhow, Voldemort, hardly being able to see, runs up the stairs. Everyone runs from him, except for some of the Slytherins, and a girl who wants his autograph. Voldemort, not being able to see, recognizes the business man/muggle as an old guy, and thinks he's Dumbledore, and notices that he's not moving, and takes the opportunity to capture him.
"It's almost like there's something going on here that I don't know about," the guy said.
…………….To be Continued……………………………………………………………………..