Irreplaceable
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A/N: This takes place after the S8 episode "The Killer"
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Harm stared intently at the medical report Harriet had handed him a few hours earlier. The tox screen was not encouraging. "Damn," he muttered. "Sturgis is going to nail my ass to the wall on this one."
He was defending a C-17 pilot who had fallen asleep during a flight. The co-pilot had easily taken control of the plane, so no damage had been done. The pilot's commanding officer, however, was ready to throw him out of the Navy altogether. It was a first offense, and Harm was hoping to deal out a lighter sentence. Even with Sturgis prosecuting, he might have finagled it; if his client had not been taking benzodiazepine at the time. *What kind of idiot takes heavy sedatives before flying a plane?* Harm wondered.
"Troubling case, Sailor?"
Harm looked up from the report and suddenly smiled at the person who had walked into his office. "Mac!" He quickly stood up. "Welcome back. How was your tour on the Seahawk?"
"Pleasantly boring." Mac let out a satisfied sigh. "No one was crazy enough to play tag with a nuclear missile."
Harm snorted. "Please. . . Once was enough for me."
"Me too," Mac replied quietly. The two officers stared at each other for a brief moment, and then Mac suddenly smiled. "I heard you went to Italy."
"Yeah." Harm shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Tracy and I had to catch a serial killer."
Mac bit back a frown and stepped forward. " 'Tracy'?" She queried.
Harm smiled teasingly. "Hey, working on a case like that can turn partners into friends."
This time, Mac did frown. "I didn't know that Commander Manetti had gone with you."
"It turns out that she's a profiler. . . *and* she speaks Italian." Harm shook his head. "I hate to admit it, but she really helped me out on this one."
"I see. I'm glad. . . she was there to back you up."
"Yeah, she's great," Harm replied, oblivious to Mac's deteriorating mood.
"Well, I should be heading towards my office. I'm sure my case load has steadily grown while I was away." Mac backed away slowly.
Harm picked up the medical report. "And I need to see if I can keep my client in the Navy." He sat back down at his desk. "Want to meet for lunch?"
"Probably not. You know how it is, trying to catch up after a TAD." Her excuse rang hollow, even in her own ears. Lately, the two of them had always made time for lunch, no matter what their caseload.
Harm finally caught a glimpse of her demeanor. "Something wrong, Mac?"
"No. I'm. . . I'm just a bit tired, I guess." She offered him a wane smile. "Talk to you later?"
"Sure," he replied softly, watching her walk away. Something was bothering her, he was certain. "Oh well. She'll tell me when she's ready." Harm sighed and got his mind back on his current case.
**************************************
Mac worked through lunch but barely managed to make a dent in organizing her caseload. She just couldn't keep her mind on work. Her conversation with Harm had bothered her more than she cared to admit. She didn't feel threatened by Tracy Manetti, but she did feel a bit jealous of the time the Lt. Commander got to spend with Harm.
Mac thought of herself as Harm's partner and the thought of anyone else taking over that role made her feel somewhat possessive. Even when they went up against each other in court, even when she judged a case in front of him, they were still partners.
She knew that they couldn't work on every case together, but lately, it seemed like they hardly worked together at all. Tracy Manetti was taking the one relationship with Harm that Mac thought that she would always have. They couldn't find their way to being lovers, their friendship was tenuous at times, but they were *always* partners.
Now, that was being taken away as well.
Her musings were interrupted by a knock on her office door. "Enter."
The door opened and Lt. Commander Manetti stepped into her office. Mac forced herself to smile. "What can I do for you, Commander?"
"Excuse me, Maam. Do you have the files on the Kramer case? I'm doing some research for Commander Rabb and. . ."
"Say no more, Commander." Mac slid a case folder from the bottom of a stack of cases on her desk and presented it to Manetti.
"Thank you, Maam." Tracy smiled and began to turn away when Mac stopped her.
"So, how is it, working with Harm? He's not running all over you, is he?" she asked lightly.
Tracy's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Not at all, Colonel. He's been nothing but supportive; a good mentor."
"He must be mellowing out in his old age," Mac mused.
"He's not that old," Tracy replied quickly, and then looked down as a slight blush grew on her face. "I mean, I think I inadvertently insulted him by a remark I made about his age in Italy, and-"
Mac tilted her head to one side let out a genuine smile. "Harm's ego can use an insult now and then. Just. . . don't get too caught up in some of his wild schemes, okay?"
Tracy stood a bit taller. "Colonel, I will always follow his orders. He strives to find the truth with an amazing sense of purpose. It's a strength I hope to find in myself on day." The Southern lilt of her voice reverberated convincingly.
Mac mentally shook her head in exasperation. *Just three cases together and he's already won her over completely. Was I that easy?*
"Commander Rabb is certainly tenacious. . . and you're right, it is a strength," Mac agreed.
"If there's nothing else, Maam. . ."
"Dismissed."
*************************************
Tracy breathed a sigh of relief as she left Mac's office. She had told Bud and Tiner that she never skipped an opportunity to shut her mouth, but she had just ignored her own advice. She'd heard the rumors, of course. How Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie were in secretly in love, how she cancelled her wedding because of him, how she followed him all over Russia. Twice.
She just didn't see it though. The times she had seen them interact, they seemed more like friendly rivals than anything else. Besides, the two officers, like herself, were too committed to their careers to have time for a relationship. Tracy hoped that she'd get a chance to work with Mac. She figured she'd learn as much from her as she had from Harm.
*****************************************
Mac managed to avoid Harm for a couple of days before realizing that she was being a bit silly and completely illogical. If her big problem with Harm, (at the moment) was their inability to spend time together, why was she avoiding him? As with many, many previous occasions, Harm was driving her crazy. With anything else in her life, she could cold-blooded and completely rational. But with that man. . .
She walked into his office the following morning and knocked lightly on the doorframe. "Good morning, Harm."
Harm looked up from the file he was reading and smiled in surprise. "Hey, Mac. When did you get back from the Seahawk?"
Mac rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Sailor. You know I've been buried under work this week." She took a small breath and swallowed back a sudden bout of nervousness. "Got time to go to lunch today?"
"Managed to get unburied?" Harm asked lightly.
"Not really." Mac sighed. "I've just. . . missed you," she said softly.
Harm blinked. *Now I know something's bothering her.* It was at this point where Harm would normally become confrontational about things or back away completely. In a rare moment of wisdom, he decided to just go with the flow. He smiled. "Lunch would be great."
Mac smiled immediately. The look on her face was brighter than the occasion called for, but she didn't care. "Good. I'm in the mood for Chinese. See you at 11:30." She left his office feeling better about herself and life in general.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Harm picked up his phone and dialed a number. "Tracy? This is Commander Rabb. I'm going to have to cancel our lunch meeting today. We can go over the Rosenberg UA later this afternoon. Thanks. Bye." He hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair.
Regardless of whatever the hell was bugging Mac, he wasn't going to miss out on an opportunity to spend some time with her. He hadn't said anything, but he had missed her too.
**********************************
Lunch was a casual affair at a local Chinese takeout restaurant. As the two officers munched on noodles, rice, and egg rolls, they talked about recent casework. "So she starts her profiling of this guy, and says he's probably a white male, with no father, little or no connection to his mother, and is completely unable to hold a relationship." Harm paused. "Sound like anyone familiar?"
"Oh Harm. . ." Mac started laughing. "That's almost too sad to be funny."
Harm put a hand on her forearm and leaned in closer. "Wait. It gets better. When I mention, jokingly, that she could be describing me, do you know what she says?"
"What?"
"That I'm too old to be the killer." Harm shook his head and sighed ruefully.
"Don't feel too offended, Harm. Manetti *was* right about the guy."
"Yeah, I know. It's just. . . When I work with her, I feel old," Harm explained.
"Well, you are the second oldest officer at JAG headquarters," Mac pointed out.
"Thanks ever so much for putting that into perspective for me." Harm's voice was dry. "Seriously, around Bud or Harriet or Singer, I just feel older. Around Tracy, I feel *old*, does that make any sense?"
Mac was starting to realize that any worries she had about Lt. Commander Tracy Manetti were completely baseless. "I think it's all relative, Harm. She's new to JAG and new to your way of doing things. In comparison, you're a seasoned officer that-" Mac paused as Harm winced. "What?"
"I get what you're saying, and you're probably right, but. . ."
"But what?"
"Seasoned?" Harm asked, in mock pain. "Next you'll be telling me to put in for my pension." He smiled at last. "I guess Tracy is like a kid sister," he allowed.
"Only a sister?" Mac asked, only partly teasing.
Harm stared at her as things finally began to click in his mind. "Is *that* what's been bothering you lately?"
He sounded a little incredulous to Mac's ears. She couldn't hold his stare but eventually glanced back at him. "Maybe. A little," she allowed.
"You're jealous? Of Commander Manetti?"
The incredulity was still there and Mac gritted her teeth. "Look, I'm not jealous in the way you're thinking. Lately, you and I haven't gotten to work together too much. And when we do work on the same case, it's on opposing sides or with me as a judge and we end up arguing instead of doing things like. . . this." Mac gestured helplessly. "And Harm, I *enjoy* spending time outside of work with you. I enjoy the lunches and dinners and the time we get to spend together."
"I know. I enjoy those things too, Mac. It's almost as if this is the best we can do right now." Harm's stare grew intense as his voice softened. "You. . . you know that I want more than this, right? That eventually. . . eventually. . ."
"When you can complete that sentence, we'll be past 'eventually'," Mac replied evenly. "And yes, a part of all this is how much you work with Commander Manetti. I know it's not your fault, but it feels as if she's replacing me in your life."
Harm swallowed hard. "No one is replacing you, Mac. Ever. Not as my partner. Not as my best friend. Not as. . . as the woman I *eventually* want to spend the rest of my life with."
Now it was Mac's turn to be incredulous. "I can't believe you just said that," she replied faintly.
Harm briefly closed his eyes. "I needed to say it, and you need to believe it."
"I do, Harm. I really do. I know that now isn't the time, with everything going on in our country and our work." Mac's expression turned hopeful. "But would you mind if I considered these little outings of ours as. . . dates?"
Harm grinned widely in return, feeling that the situation called for a little boldness on his part. "You know, Mac. . . people have been known to kiss on dates."
Mac's heart began to beat a little faster and her knees felt weak. "I think. . . that would be okay."
Harm leaned closer towards her and gently caressed the side of her face with a single finger. "Good." Then, his grin turned slightly wicked. "So, Mac, do you have any plans for dinner?"
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The End
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A/N: This takes place after the S8 episode "The Killer"
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Harm stared intently at the medical report Harriet had handed him a few hours earlier. The tox screen was not encouraging. "Damn," he muttered. "Sturgis is going to nail my ass to the wall on this one."
He was defending a C-17 pilot who had fallen asleep during a flight. The co-pilot had easily taken control of the plane, so no damage had been done. The pilot's commanding officer, however, was ready to throw him out of the Navy altogether. It was a first offense, and Harm was hoping to deal out a lighter sentence. Even with Sturgis prosecuting, he might have finagled it; if his client had not been taking benzodiazepine at the time. *What kind of idiot takes heavy sedatives before flying a plane?* Harm wondered.
"Troubling case, Sailor?"
Harm looked up from the report and suddenly smiled at the person who had walked into his office. "Mac!" He quickly stood up. "Welcome back. How was your tour on the Seahawk?"
"Pleasantly boring." Mac let out a satisfied sigh. "No one was crazy enough to play tag with a nuclear missile."
Harm snorted. "Please. . . Once was enough for me."
"Me too," Mac replied quietly. The two officers stared at each other for a brief moment, and then Mac suddenly smiled. "I heard you went to Italy."
"Yeah." Harm shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Tracy and I had to catch a serial killer."
Mac bit back a frown and stepped forward. " 'Tracy'?" She queried.
Harm smiled teasingly. "Hey, working on a case like that can turn partners into friends."
This time, Mac did frown. "I didn't know that Commander Manetti had gone with you."
"It turns out that she's a profiler. . . *and* she speaks Italian." Harm shook his head. "I hate to admit it, but she really helped me out on this one."
"I see. I'm glad. . . she was there to back you up."
"Yeah, she's great," Harm replied, oblivious to Mac's deteriorating mood.
"Well, I should be heading towards my office. I'm sure my case load has steadily grown while I was away." Mac backed away slowly.
Harm picked up the medical report. "And I need to see if I can keep my client in the Navy." He sat back down at his desk. "Want to meet for lunch?"
"Probably not. You know how it is, trying to catch up after a TAD." Her excuse rang hollow, even in her own ears. Lately, the two of them had always made time for lunch, no matter what their caseload.
Harm finally caught a glimpse of her demeanor. "Something wrong, Mac?"
"No. I'm. . . I'm just a bit tired, I guess." She offered him a wane smile. "Talk to you later?"
"Sure," he replied softly, watching her walk away. Something was bothering her, he was certain. "Oh well. She'll tell me when she's ready." Harm sighed and got his mind back on his current case.
**************************************
Mac worked through lunch but barely managed to make a dent in organizing her caseload. She just couldn't keep her mind on work. Her conversation with Harm had bothered her more than she cared to admit. She didn't feel threatened by Tracy Manetti, but she did feel a bit jealous of the time the Lt. Commander got to spend with Harm.
Mac thought of herself as Harm's partner and the thought of anyone else taking over that role made her feel somewhat possessive. Even when they went up against each other in court, even when she judged a case in front of him, they were still partners.
She knew that they couldn't work on every case together, but lately, it seemed like they hardly worked together at all. Tracy Manetti was taking the one relationship with Harm that Mac thought that she would always have. They couldn't find their way to being lovers, their friendship was tenuous at times, but they were *always* partners.
Now, that was being taken away as well.
Her musings were interrupted by a knock on her office door. "Enter."
The door opened and Lt. Commander Manetti stepped into her office. Mac forced herself to smile. "What can I do for you, Commander?"
"Excuse me, Maam. Do you have the files on the Kramer case? I'm doing some research for Commander Rabb and. . ."
"Say no more, Commander." Mac slid a case folder from the bottom of a stack of cases on her desk and presented it to Manetti.
"Thank you, Maam." Tracy smiled and began to turn away when Mac stopped her.
"So, how is it, working with Harm? He's not running all over you, is he?" she asked lightly.
Tracy's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Not at all, Colonel. He's been nothing but supportive; a good mentor."
"He must be mellowing out in his old age," Mac mused.
"He's not that old," Tracy replied quickly, and then looked down as a slight blush grew on her face. "I mean, I think I inadvertently insulted him by a remark I made about his age in Italy, and-"
Mac tilted her head to one side let out a genuine smile. "Harm's ego can use an insult now and then. Just. . . don't get too caught up in some of his wild schemes, okay?"
Tracy stood a bit taller. "Colonel, I will always follow his orders. He strives to find the truth with an amazing sense of purpose. It's a strength I hope to find in myself on day." The Southern lilt of her voice reverberated convincingly.
Mac mentally shook her head in exasperation. *Just three cases together and he's already won her over completely. Was I that easy?*
"Commander Rabb is certainly tenacious. . . and you're right, it is a strength," Mac agreed.
"If there's nothing else, Maam. . ."
"Dismissed."
*************************************
Tracy breathed a sigh of relief as she left Mac's office. She had told Bud and Tiner that she never skipped an opportunity to shut her mouth, but she had just ignored her own advice. She'd heard the rumors, of course. How Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie were in secretly in love, how she cancelled her wedding because of him, how she followed him all over Russia. Twice.
She just didn't see it though. The times she had seen them interact, they seemed more like friendly rivals than anything else. Besides, the two officers, like herself, were too committed to their careers to have time for a relationship. Tracy hoped that she'd get a chance to work with Mac. She figured she'd learn as much from her as she had from Harm.
*****************************************
Mac managed to avoid Harm for a couple of days before realizing that she was being a bit silly and completely illogical. If her big problem with Harm, (at the moment) was their inability to spend time together, why was she avoiding him? As with many, many previous occasions, Harm was driving her crazy. With anything else in her life, she could cold-blooded and completely rational. But with that man. . .
She walked into his office the following morning and knocked lightly on the doorframe. "Good morning, Harm."
Harm looked up from the file he was reading and smiled in surprise. "Hey, Mac. When did you get back from the Seahawk?"
Mac rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Sailor. You know I've been buried under work this week." She took a small breath and swallowed back a sudden bout of nervousness. "Got time to go to lunch today?"
"Managed to get unburied?" Harm asked lightly.
"Not really." Mac sighed. "I've just. . . missed you," she said softly.
Harm blinked. *Now I know something's bothering her.* It was at this point where Harm would normally become confrontational about things or back away completely. In a rare moment of wisdom, he decided to just go with the flow. He smiled. "Lunch would be great."
Mac smiled immediately. The look on her face was brighter than the occasion called for, but she didn't care. "Good. I'm in the mood for Chinese. See you at 11:30." She left his office feeling better about herself and life in general.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Harm picked up his phone and dialed a number. "Tracy? This is Commander Rabb. I'm going to have to cancel our lunch meeting today. We can go over the Rosenberg UA later this afternoon. Thanks. Bye." He hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair.
Regardless of whatever the hell was bugging Mac, he wasn't going to miss out on an opportunity to spend some time with her. He hadn't said anything, but he had missed her too.
**********************************
Lunch was a casual affair at a local Chinese takeout restaurant. As the two officers munched on noodles, rice, and egg rolls, they talked about recent casework. "So she starts her profiling of this guy, and says he's probably a white male, with no father, little or no connection to his mother, and is completely unable to hold a relationship." Harm paused. "Sound like anyone familiar?"
"Oh Harm. . ." Mac started laughing. "That's almost too sad to be funny."
Harm put a hand on her forearm and leaned in closer. "Wait. It gets better. When I mention, jokingly, that she could be describing me, do you know what she says?"
"What?"
"That I'm too old to be the killer." Harm shook his head and sighed ruefully.
"Don't feel too offended, Harm. Manetti *was* right about the guy."
"Yeah, I know. It's just. . . When I work with her, I feel old," Harm explained.
"Well, you are the second oldest officer at JAG headquarters," Mac pointed out.
"Thanks ever so much for putting that into perspective for me." Harm's voice was dry. "Seriously, around Bud or Harriet or Singer, I just feel older. Around Tracy, I feel *old*, does that make any sense?"
Mac was starting to realize that any worries she had about Lt. Commander Tracy Manetti were completely baseless. "I think it's all relative, Harm. She's new to JAG and new to your way of doing things. In comparison, you're a seasoned officer that-" Mac paused as Harm winced. "What?"
"I get what you're saying, and you're probably right, but. . ."
"But what?"
"Seasoned?" Harm asked, in mock pain. "Next you'll be telling me to put in for my pension." He smiled at last. "I guess Tracy is like a kid sister," he allowed.
"Only a sister?" Mac asked, only partly teasing.
Harm stared at her as things finally began to click in his mind. "Is *that* what's been bothering you lately?"
He sounded a little incredulous to Mac's ears. She couldn't hold his stare but eventually glanced back at him. "Maybe. A little," she allowed.
"You're jealous? Of Commander Manetti?"
The incredulity was still there and Mac gritted her teeth. "Look, I'm not jealous in the way you're thinking. Lately, you and I haven't gotten to work together too much. And when we do work on the same case, it's on opposing sides or with me as a judge and we end up arguing instead of doing things like. . . this." Mac gestured helplessly. "And Harm, I *enjoy* spending time outside of work with you. I enjoy the lunches and dinners and the time we get to spend together."
"I know. I enjoy those things too, Mac. It's almost as if this is the best we can do right now." Harm's stare grew intense as his voice softened. "You. . . you know that I want more than this, right? That eventually. . . eventually. . ."
"When you can complete that sentence, we'll be past 'eventually'," Mac replied evenly. "And yes, a part of all this is how much you work with Commander Manetti. I know it's not your fault, but it feels as if she's replacing me in your life."
Harm swallowed hard. "No one is replacing you, Mac. Ever. Not as my partner. Not as my best friend. Not as. . . as the woman I *eventually* want to spend the rest of my life with."
Now it was Mac's turn to be incredulous. "I can't believe you just said that," she replied faintly.
Harm briefly closed his eyes. "I needed to say it, and you need to believe it."
"I do, Harm. I really do. I know that now isn't the time, with everything going on in our country and our work." Mac's expression turned hopeful. "But would you mind if I considered these little outings of ours as. . . dates?"
Harm grinned widely in return, feeling that the situation called for a little boldness on his part. "You know, Mac. . . people have been known to kiss on dates."
Mac's heart began to beat a little faster and her knees felt weak. "I think. . . that would be okay."
Harm leaned closer towards her and gently caressed the side of her face with a single finger. "Good." Then, his grin turned slightly wicked. "So, Mac, do you have any plans for dinner?"
*****************
The End
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