Disclaimer: Sorry, haven't been doing this the past 4 chapters. Haha, I'm a
bad girl. Anyway, here's the stupid disclaimer. I don't own any of the
characters but the ones I make up, okies? This goes for the past and coming
chapters.
Author's Notes: Thanks again for the continued reviews! 15 already! Whoo hoo!! Hehe, yes StarGazer, Selphie and Rinoa's friendship was basically based on ours. I'm glad you noticed! There's much more to come everyone, so keep on reading, and reviewing, okay? Thanks a bunch!! Oh, and I'm sorry this is a little short; it was really hard to write this. I'm not the greatest at the crazy type of person writing, so bear with me, okay?
Secrets of the Sorceress Chapter 4 Turmoil
As my lips left Squall's, I breathed hard and shallow. He stared at me with incredulity, and I shakily left his lap. My knees were knocking together, seeing his face not covered in the pain I'd just witnessed, but in confusion. My bottom lip trembled, and I quickly left the room, straight into our bedroom, and into the bathroom. I made sure to lock the door, leaving the silence to myself for a moment. I flipped the seat on the toilet down, and sat on top of it, placing my hands on my forehead in a Squall-like fashion. I ran the images through my head again, only to feel a migraine coming on.
Soon enough, I heard a rapping on the door, only increasing the ache in my head. I rubbed my temples in desperation, and tried to erase the thoughts running through my mind. I heard Squall's voice, no matter how unwanted it was right then.
"Rinoa? Are you alright?" The question was accompanied by more knocking, and I wanted to scream for him to stop, but nothing would come from my voice. I couldn't respond; my throat wouldn't cooperate to produce a sound other than a small whimper. When he heard no reply, I assumed he was growing panicked. The knocks intensified into pounds, and I finally reached up and opened it before he tore it down. I found that tears were escaping my eyes, despite my best efforts to slow them. The look of bewilderment had turned into one of alarm, and I knew I'd worried him.
"Are you alright?" he repeated, leaning down to look in my damp eyes. I could only manage a small nod, and then more tears squeezed out of my eyes, blurring my vision and making my cheeks soaked.
"What happened?" he asked, placing a warm hand on my face. I tried desperately not to shy away.his touch was the last thing I needed at the moment. I closed my eyes, only to see his face again, and cried out. He jumped back a little, making me wish I hadn't made a sound. I was digging myself deeper into questions I couldn't answer. I let out a sigh, and shuddered. Finally, I found my voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing. Just a sorceress thing, I guess." I managed a weak smile, trying to show him I was fine, but inside, I was a mess.
After my episode in Squall's office, he kept a careful eye on me. I stayed as far away from his touch as I could, afraid I'd see the visualizations again, even though every time I tried to sleep, they would return. My eyes became bloodshot, my body grew weak, and people noticed quickly. One day, while I was sitting with Irvine and Selphie at lunch, Irvine's arm draped around Selphie's shoulders, my head was rested on my hand, which was erect on the table. My eyes drooped slightly, but I refused to close them. I couldn't see the worried glances of the couple, and ignored them. Not on purpose, I just couldn't be bothered to notice.
"Rinoa?" Irvine drawled, his voice slurring in my ears. I opened my eyes a little further, wincing from the diminutive effort it took. Selphie gaped at the disheveled appearance I'd taken on, but right then, I could have cared less what I looked like. The only thing I knew was I couldn't let myself sleep...they would come over me again.
Oh Hyne, I thought silently. Did I just use inanimate things in the connotation of, "they?" I really did need some help for this. "What?" I said quietly, a weary tone in my voice. He leaned his head across the table, taking his arm away from Selphie, and stared at me.
"What?" Now I was getting testy. I wasn't in the best of moods, and Irvine breathing down my neck wasn't helping.
"How much sleep have you gotten lately?" The question was simple, but my brain had trouble recalling the answer. I ogled at him like he'd just asked me a twelve step geometry problem, and tried to recall the past weeks events, finding I couldn't even summon those, let alone how much sleep I'd gotten.
"I don't know...why?"
"You look like a zombie, Rinoa. I really think you should go up to your room and get some rest."
I wasn't sure I liked the fact that Irvine was meddling in my personal life. In fact, I hated it. I didn't need a babysitter watching out for my health, telling me when my bedtime was. I brought my elbow up from the table, as well as my sagging body, as much as it protested the movement. I looked at Irvine with what I thought was a cold gaze, and huffed up.
"Look Irvine," I snapped. "I can take care of myself, okay? I don't need you ordering me around, telling me what to do. I'm just fine, alright? Just back off." With that, I drug my body up from the sitting position, and walked out of the Cafeteria, bursting through the door, and not looking back.
***********************************************************************
After a few days of avoiding Squall in the most unnoticable way I could think of, I realized it wasn't working. He confronted me about it, as much as I despised the thought of talking about what was going on with me. It was late evening, I was getting undressed in the bathroom, one indication to Squall that I was still trying to shy away from him, I came out, where he was waiting for me.
I immediately went on guard, hoping he hadn't decided to be intimate tonight, and rounded to my side of the bed. His eyes followed me, sizing me up, and quietly, he said, "I know you've been avoiding me, Rinoa."
I didn't meet his gaze, and simply started undoing the covers in my regular fashion. "What makes you say that?"
He sighed, getting up from his spot on the bed. "Since our night together, you haven't been intimate with me at all, you haven't talked to me during the day, you've been shunning me all together."
I bit my lower lip. This was hard, so hard. But I had to keep the visions at bay. No matter what it took, I'd do it. Even if it meant steering clear of the one I loved. I looked up at him, letting out a sigh myself. "Squall, I'm sorry, I've just been really busy lately," I lied straight to his face. "I've been stressing about this whole baby issue, and I can't seem to get a moment's peace without someone telling me what to do. I know you want to do what we did the other night again...I just haven't been in the mood, okay? Can we get some sleep?"
He didn't fight hard, because without another word, he pulled the covers over his head and turned out the light. My heart ached for him, but I knew I needed to keep myself sane for the time being...just as soon as I could figure this all out.
A few hours later, I finally went to sleep, without the disturbing scenes, without the screams. And I couldn't have been more grateful for it. My only question was...
How long would it last?
Author's Notes: Thanks again for the continued reviews! 15 already! Whoo hoo!! Hehe, yes StarGazer, Selphie and Rinoa's friendship was basically based on ours. I'm glad you noticed! There's much more to come everyone, so keep on reading, and reviewing, okay? Thanks a bunch!! Oh, and I'm sorry this is a little short; it was really hard to write this. I'm not the greatest at the crazy type of person writing, so bear with me, okay?
Secrets of the Sorceress Chapter 4 Turmoil
As my lips left Squall's, I breathed hard and shallow. He stared at me with incredulity, and I shakily left his lap. My knees were knocking together, seeing his face not covered in the pain I'd just witnessed, but in confusion. My bottom lip trembled, and I quickly left the room, straight into our bedroom, and into the bathroom. I made sure to lock the door, leaving the silence to myself for a moment. I flipped the seat on the toilet down, and sat on top of it, placing my hands on my forehead in a Squall-like fashion. I ran the images through my head again, only to feel a migraine coming on.
Soon enough, I heard a rapping on the door, only increasing the ache in my head. I rubbed my temples in desperation, and tried to erase the thoughts running through my mind. I heard Squall's voice, no matter how unwanted it was right then.
"Rinoa? Are you alright?" The question was accompanied by more knocking, and I wanted to scream for him to stop, but nothing would come from my voice. I couldn't respond; my throat wouldn't cooperate to produce a sound other than a small whimper. When he heard no reply, I assumed he was growing panicked. The knocks intensified into pounds, and I finally reached up and opened it before he tore it down. I found that tears were escaping my eyes, despite my best efforts to slow them. The look of bewilderment had turned into one of alarm, and I knew I'd worried him.
"Are you alright?" he repeated, leaning down to look in my damp eyes. I could only manage a small nod, and then more tears squeezed out of my eyes, blurring my vision and making my cheeks soaked.
"What happened?" he asked, placing a warm hand on my face. I tried desperately not to shy away.his touch was the last thing I needed at the moment. I closed my eyes, only to see his face again, and cried out. He jumped back a little, making me wish I hadn't made a sound. I was digging myself deeper into questions I couldn't answer. I let out a sigh, and shuddered. Finally, I found my voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing. Just a sorceress thing, I guess." I managed a weak smile, trying to show him I was fine, but inside, I was a mess.
After my episode in Squall's office, he kept a careful eye on me. I stayed as far away from his touch as I could, afraid I'd see the visualizations again, even though every time I tried to sleep, they would return. My eyes became bloodshot, my body grew weak, and people noticed quickly. One day, while I was sitting with Irvine and Selphie at lunch, Irvine's arm draped around Selphie's shoulders, my head was rested on my hand, which was erect on the table. My eyes drooped slightly, but I refused to close them. I couldn't see the worried glances of the couple, and ignored them. Not on purpose, I just couldn't be bothered to notice.
"Rinoa?" Irvine drawled, his voice slurring in my ears. I opened my eyes a little further, wincing from the diminutive effort it took. Selphie gaped at the disheveled appearance I'd taken on, but right then, I could have cared less what I looked like. The only thing I knew was I couldn't let myself sleep...they would come over me again.
Oh Hyne, I thought silently. Did I just use inanimate things in the connotation of, "they?" I really did need some help for this. "What?" I said quietly, a weary tone in my voice. He leaned his head across the table, taking his arm away from Selphie, and stared at me.
"What?" Now I was getting testy. I wasn't in the best of moods, and Irvine breathing down my neck wasn't helping.
"How much sleep have you gotten lately?" The question was simple, but my brain had trouble recalling the answer. I ogled at him like he'd just asked me a twelve step geometry problem, and tried to recall the past weeks events, finding I couldn't even summon those, let alone how much sleep I'd gotten.
"I don't know...why?"
"You look like a zombie, Rinoa. I really think you should go up to your room and get some rest."
I wasn't sure I liked the fact that Irvine was meddling in my personal life. In fact, I hated it. I didn't need a babysitter watching out for my health, telling me when my bedtime was. I brought my elbow up from the table, as well as my sagging body, as much as it protested the movement. I looked at Irvine with what I thought was a cold gaze, and huffed up.
"Look Irvine," I snapped. "I can take care of myself, okay? I don't need you ordering me around, telling me what to do. I'm just fine, alright? Just back off." With that, I drug my body up from the sitting position, and walked out of the Cafeteria, bursting through the door, and not looking back.
***********************************************************************
After a few days of avoiding Squall in the most unnoticable way I could think of, I realized it wasn't working. He confronted me about it, as much as I despised the thought of talking about what was going on with me. It was late evening, I was getting undressed in the bathroom, one indication to Squall that I was still trying to shy away from him, I came out, where he was waiting for me.
I immediately went on guard, hoping he hadn't decided to be intimate tonight, and rounded to my side of the bed. His eyes followed me, sizing me up, and quietly, he said, "I know you've been avoiding me, Rinoa."
I didn't meet his gaze, and simply started undoing the covers in my regular fashion. "What makes you say that?"
He sighed, getting up from his spot on the bed. "Since our night together, you haven't been intimate with me at all, you haven't talked to me during the day, you've been shunning me all together."
I bit my lower lip. This was hard, so hard. But I had to keep the visions at bay. No matter what it took, I'd do it. Even if it meant steering clear of the one I loved. I looked up at him, letting out a sigh myself. "Squall, I'm sorry, I've just been really busy lately," I lied straight to his face. "I've been stressing about this whole baby issue, and I can't seem to get a moment's peace without someone telling me what to do. I know you want to do what we did the other night again...I just haven't been in the mood, okay? Can we get some sleep?"
He didn't fight hard, because without another word, he pulled the covers over his head and turned out the light. My heart ached for him, but I knew I needed to keep myself sane for the time being...just as soon as I could figure this all out.
A few hours later, I finally went to sleep, without the disturbing scenes, without the screams. And I couldn't have been more grateful for it. My only question was...
How long would it last?