2.
JK Rowling owns Harry Potter...no idea who owns DOCTOR WHO...
They exited the TARDIS. "Interesting vehicle," Dumbledore said. "How big is it?"
"I wish I knew," the Doctor said. "Her corridors go on and on."
"I tried to figure it out," Ace said. "Took a ball of string and
unwound it behind me. I went through all the string we had."
On the way out,they ran into a woman. She carried herself ramrod straight,like a Marine. Her hair was dark and pulled into a bun; her lips were thin and made her look severe. Ace liked her on sight; this is what the Doctor would look like if he were a woman. The Nurse, she thought.
"Ah,Minerva. Our meeting will have to wait. May I introduce the Doctor-"
"Ma'am." The Doctor rolled his hat down his arm and bowed.
"-and this is Ace."
The severe look turned into one of curiosity. "Ace? What's your real name?"
"Dorothy McShane,ma'am."
"Miss McShane-"
"Please just call me Ace."
"All right. Although Dorothy is a wonderful name."
"L. Frank Baum thought so," Dumbledore mused. "Minerva,could you take
Ace to the Great Hall? The Doctor and I need to find Eleanor-"
"Sinistra's in the Astronomy Tower."
"Precisely where we were headed."
"This way,Doctor. Mind the stairs. Sometimes they're quite playful."
McGonagall watched them ascend until they were both out of sight.
She turned back to Ace with a curious look.
"What?" Ace asked.
"Well,you obviously aren't a late admission-"
"I just got here with the Doctor."
"Doctor what?"
"Sorry?"
"His name,Ace,his name."
"I don't know his real name. He's always been The Doctor to me. He's from a planet called Gallifrey. He's their Lord Supreme High Know-It-All or something like that."
"Are you an alien as well?"
"I'm from Perivale," she said. "I just travel with the Doctor."
A shadow fell across the wall; Ace turned to see a dark-garbed,greasy-haired man looking at her. She thought of the Master. This is his third cousin,Ace thought. The one he never talks about. "Oi,where'd you come from?"
"Could I speak with you for a moment,Professor?" the man asked. He led her away from Ace. He spoke in a harsh whisper. "Minerva,who-"
"I'm not twelve," Ace said. "You can ask me."
Professor McGonagall shot such a look at the man.
"My name is Ace."
"Ace?"
"Miss Dorothy McShane," Professor McGonagall said. "Otherwise known to her friends-"
"-as Ace," Grease Factory Man finished.
"Right," Ace said.
"Professor Severus Snape," the man said. He was so stiff. "Known to my students and strangers as 'professor' or the much simpler to remember 'sir.'"
Behind him,Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. "As well as a myriad of simpler terms."
Snape smirked at McGonagall. "You have me there," he said. "Now who is that little man Albus was escorting to the astronomy tower?"
"The Doctor."
"The Doctor?"
"The Doctor," Ace said.
"May I inquire as to his field?"
"President of the Time Lords on the planet Gallifrey."
"Ah. I see. Of course he's from another planet...Minerva-"
"-except he's a renegade Time Lord who got sick of his people's non-interference policy...he travels around the universe righting wrongs."
"And where do you fit in?"
"I'm along for the ride. See the sights, help people who can't help themselves..." She resisted the urge to say 'blow stuff up.'
"Well," he said. He shrugged his shoulders. "I wash my hands of any
and all responsibility."
"Well,then,if you don't mind,Severus," McGonagall said,"I was escorting Miss McShane to the Great Hall. She happens to be on time for lunch."
The way to the Great Hall was complicated. The stairs kept moving around.
"Do they do that all the time?"
"They seem to be more docile than usual," Professor McGonagall said. "I think they like you."
Ace grinned. "So...this castle-"
"Oh,it has a consciousness all its own. It's like a living being."
"So does the TARDIS."
"That's the police box in the Headmaster's office?"
Ace nodded. "It's supposed to transform to correspond to its surroundings,but the thingy controlling it doesn't work." she paused.
"This castle is awesome," she said.
Professor McGonagall couldn't help grinning.
"We were in this other one-" She was distracted by a painting on the wall; the man in the picture smiled and waved at her. "Love your hair," he said.
"That guy...in the picture-"
"Of course he did," the Professor said.
"Yeah,of course," Ace said.
They waited for a set of stairs to change; Professor McGonagall turned to Ace. "There is life on other planets,then?"
"Oh,there's tons. Not all of it's friendly,though."
Eventually,they found themselves in front of a huge pair of doors.
"Here we are," Professor McGonagall said,and opened the door.
Ace stepped inside.
"Wow," she said. The hall was absolutely enormous. There were tables,and the ceiling-"What's with the ceiling?"
"It's bewitched to look like the night sky."
"So if it's a full moon,you see it in here?"
"Exactly."
"Wicked!"
It was a good thing Ace turned away,because Professor McGonagall had to stifle a laugh.
Ace surveyed the tables. "They're all kids."
"Well,this is a school."
"Right," Ace said. "Of course. So,they're all learning magic?"
"Yes,they are. I think of them as my children. Some more than others. You might want to be careful. Some of them don't like Muggles."
"What's a Muggle?"
"One who does not use magic."
"I've made a few things disappear," she muttered.
"Hmmm?"
"Can aliens be Muggles?"
"Interesting question."
She led Ace to a table; the kids-who varied in age-eyed her curiously.
"Mr. Weasley," she called. "Mr. Potter."
Two kids stood up; one of them was a goofy-looking kid with red hair and the other boy-who was shorter-wore glasses. He looked like the missing Beatle,with his hair hiding his forehead.
"Mr. Weasley,would you and Harry entertain Ace?"
Mr. Weasley looked so horrified."Entertain her?"
"You know what he means," Harry said. He took Ace's arm and
escorted her to sit down beside him.
"Very charming,Harry." McGonagall said, "Did you see that,Albus?"
"Everything in order,Minerva?"
"Yes,Albus." She turned,and there he was,at his side. "How's the Doctor?"
"He's discussing astronomy with Eleanor."
"Good. Do you have some free time?"
"I do."
"My office," he said. "Ten minutes."
"I'll be there in five."
She managed to walk into one of the Weasley twins. "Sorry. 'Scuse me,Professor."
"Of course,George."
He winced. "I'm Fred."
"I think I can tell the difference between you two by now."
George grinned. "Part of the fun of teaching us. Who's that girl?"
"A visitor. Don't corrupt her beyond all hope,please."
"For you,I'll resist."
He got out of her way; when she had passed,he strode over to his brother.
"-tastes like gasoline," he heard Ace say,spluttering.
"They say Every Flavor-" George began-
"-they MEAN Every Flavor." Fred finished,from the opposite side.
"Bertie Bott sounds like a sadistic weirdo."
"No,he's just very committed," Harry said. "There are all sorts of
flavors."
"Vomit-" George said.
"-ear wax-"
"-blood..."
"Ugh," Ace said.
"Don't you think you're making the wrong impression?"
Ace looked across the table; the girl on the other side smiled at her."Hermione Granger," she said,offering her hand.
"Ace." She took Hermione's hand. "So...are you a good witch?"
"She's the best we have," Ron said.
"Those of us who haven't seen THE WIZARD OF OZ," Fred said. "They take that question literally."
"That's Ron," Hermione said.
"I heard."
"These are his brothers Fred and George. He has three other brothers named Bill and Charlie and Percy and a sister named Ginny who's around here somewhere."
"Seven kids? Wow. I would've gone nuts."
"And this is Harry."
"Pleased to meet you,Harry."
He strechted across the table to shake her hand. As he did,she saw the scar on his forehead. "How'd that happen?" she asked.
The kids grew very quiet.
"Sorry," Ace said.
"No," Harry said."It's not your fault. In fact,you have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone who doesn't know who I am and how I
got this." He tapped his forehead. "I'm famous,you see. A very evil
wizard killed my parents when I was a year old. When he tried to kill
me,something went wrong and he lost his powers and his body-"
"So you laid a psychic smackdown on an evil wizard when you were a baby?"
"Yeah," Harry said. "Left me with this scar. And this wizard-his
name is Voldemort-"
Ron winced. He was the only one who did.
"He's come back," Harry said. "He has a body again and he wants me dead."
"Why does he want you dead?"
"Because he knows I'll be his downfall."
"Harry's beaten him four times," Hermione said. "It's become a tradition around here."
"I don't have a mum or a dad,either." Ace said.
"You don't?" Harry asked.
"Nah."
"Did they die?"
"I don't know. I don't care."
An owl soared down to the table,in front of Harry.
"This is Hedwig," Harry said. He fed her something from his plate.
"She's beautiful," Ace said. She stroked Hedwig,who cooed.
Another owl darted around Ace's head and fluttered around the table.
"And that's Pig."
"Pig? What kind of name is that for an owl?"
"Oh,all right. Pigwidgeon."
He landed on Ace's shouleder.
There was a letter tied to Pigwidgeon.
Ron managed to get it and opened it.
"What is it,Ron?"
"It's from Mum." He read the letter. "This is weird. Apparently,
the clock says we're all in Mortal Peril and she's worried."
"Weird," George said.
"Write her back and say everything's fine. We'll all sign it. You
can sign it if you like,Ace."
"Will you be attending Hogwarts,Ace?" Fred asked.
"Nah," Ace said. "The Doctor and me-"
"Who's the Doctor?"
"You'll probably meet him later-"
"So this is the Muggle I'm hearing about."
Ace knew she would hate whoever she saw when she turned; the voice was full of snobbery and mean intentions. She proved herself right when she saw the little blond Nazi and the two other blobs behind him.
"What's your problem?"
"You're my problem," he said. "I don't like Muggles."
"Could be worse."
"Really."
"I could be you,Macaulay."
His mouth dropped open,and his eyes widened.
"Excuse me," he said,and stumbled away. He didn't seem to have a particular destination in mind.
Ace turned back to the kids.
They were staring at her as if she were God.
"Who was that git?"
"Draco Malfoy. You just shut up Draco Malfoy."
"His name is Draco Malfoy? Who's he kidding?"
"I wish you were coming here," Ron said. "Where are you from,Ace?"
"Perivale," Ace said. "The Doctor is from another planet,though. Another time."
Harry opened his mouth to speak,but he saw the strange little man entering the Great Hall,followed by Professor Dumbledore and Madame
Hooch.
"Is that him?"
Ace turned,stunned for a moment by Madame Hooch's golden eyes. "That's him."
The Doctor smiled at Ace when he saw her. "Ah,Ace. I hate to take you away-"
"S'alright,Doctor. What's up?"
"Could someone show Ace around the grounds?" the Doctor asked.
Dumbledore nodded. "I know just the man."
He leaned in close to Ace."You'll know what you're looking for the moment you see it."
"See you later,I hope." Harry said.
"Bye," Ace said.
JK Rowling owns Harry Potter...no idea who owns DOCTOR WHO...
They exited the TARDIS. "Interesting vehicle," Dumbledore said. "How big is it?"
"I wish I knew," the Doctor said. "Her corridors go on and on."
"I tried to figure it out," Ace said. "Took a ball of string and
unwound it behind me. I went through all the string we had."
On the way out,they ran into a woman. She carried herself ramrod straight,like a Marine. Her hair was dark and pulled into a bun; her lips were thin and made her look severe. Ace liked her on sight; this is what the Doctor would look like if he were a woman. The Nurse, she thought.
"Ah,Minerva. Our meeting will have to wait. May I introduce the Doctor-"
"Ma'am." The Doctor rolled his hat down his arm and bowed.
"-and this is Ace."
The severe look turned into one of curiosity. "Ace? What's your real name?"
"Dorothy McShane,ma'am."
"Miss McShane-"
"Please just call me Ace."
"All right. Although Dorothy is a wonderful name."
"L. Frank Baum thought so," Dumbledore mused. "Minerva,could you take
Ace to the Great Hall? The Doctor and I need to find Eleanor-"
"Sinistra's in the Astronomy Tower."
"Precisely where we were headed."
"This way,Doctor. Mind the stairs. Sometimes they're quite playful."
McGonagall watched them ascend until they were both out of sight.
She turned back to Ace with a curious look.
"What?" Ace asked.
"Well,you obviously aren't a late admission-"
"I just got here with the Doctor."
"Doctor what?"
"Sorry?"
"His name,Ace,his name."
"I don't know his real name. He's always been The Doctor to me. He's from a planet called Gallifrey. He's their Lord Supreme High Know-It-All or something like that."
"Are you an alien as well?"
"I'm from Perivale," she said. "I just travel with the Doctor."
A shadow fell across the wall; Ace turned to see a dark-garbed,greasy-haired man looking at her. She thought of the Master. This is his third cousin,Ace thought. The one he never talks about. "Oi,where'd you come from?"
"Could I speak with you for a moment,Professor?" the man asked. He led her away from Ace. He spoke in a harsh whisper. "Minerva,who-"
"I'm not twelve," Ace said. "You can ask me."
Professor McGonagall shot such a look at the man.
"My name is Ace."
"Ace?"
"Miss Dorothy McShane," Professor McGonagall said. "Otherwise known to her friends-"
"-as Ace," Grease Factory Man finished.
"Right," Ace said.
"Professor Severus Snape," the man said. He was so stiff. "Known to my students and strangers as 'professor' or the much simpler to remember 'sir.'"
Behind him,Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. "As well as a myriad of simpler terms."
Snape smirked at McGonagall. "You have me there," he said. "Now who is that little man Albus was escorting to the astronomy tower?"
"The Doctor."
"The Doctor?"
"The Doctor," Ace said.
"May I inquire as to his field?"
"President of the Time Lords on the planet Gallifrey."
"Ah. I see. Of course he's from another planet...Minerva-"
"-except he's a renegade Time Lord who got sick of his people's non-interference policy...he travels around the universe righting wrongs."
"And where do you fit in?"
"I'm along for the ride. See the sights, help people who can't help themselves..." She resisted the urge to say 'blow stuff up.'
"Well," he said. He shrugged his shoulders. "I wash my hands of any
and all responsibility."
"Well,then,if you don't mind,Severus," McGonagall said,"I was escorting Miss McShane to the Great Hall. She happens to be on time for lunch."
The way to the Great Hall was complicated. The stairs kept moving around.
"Do they do that all the time?"
"They seem to be more docile than usual," Professor McGonagall said. "I think they like you."
Ace grinned. "So...this castle-"
"Oh,it has a consciousness all its own. It's like a living being."
"So does the TARDIS."
"That's the police box in the Headmaster's office?"
Ace nodded. "It's supposed to transform to correspond to its surroundings,but the thingy controlling it doesn't work." she paused.
"This castle is awesome," she said.
Professor McGonagall couldn't help grinning.
"We were in this other one-" She was distracted by a painting on the wall; the man in the picture smiled and waved at her. "Love your hair," he said.
"That guy...in the picture-"
"Of course he did," the Professor said.
"Yeah,of course," Ace said.
They waited for a set of stairs to change; Professor McGonagall turned to Ace. "There is life on other planets,then?"
"Oh,there's tons. Not all of it's friendly,though."
Eventually,they found themselves in front of a huge pair of doors.
"Here we are," Professor McGonagall said,and opened the door.
Ace stepped inside.
"Wow," she said. The hall was absolutely enormous. There were tables,and the ceiling-"What's with the ceiling?"
"It's bewitched to look like the night sky."
"So if it's a full moon,you see it in here?"
"Exactly."
"Wicked!"
It was a good thing Ace turned away,because Professor McGonagall had to stifle a laugh.
Ace surveyed the tables. "They're all kids."
"Well,this is a school."
"Right," Ace said. "Of course. So,they're all learning magic?"
"Yes,they are. I think of them as my children. Some more than others. You might want to be careful. Some of them don't like Muggles."
"What's a Muggle?"
"One who does not use magic."
"I've made a few things disappear," she muttered.
"Hmmm?"
"Can aliens be Muggles?"
"Interesting question."
She led Ace to a table; the kids-who varied in age-eyed her curiously.
"Mr. Weasley," she called. "Mr. Potter."
Two kids stood up; one of them was a goofy-looking kid with red hair and the other boy-who was shorter-wore glasses. He looked like the missing Beatle,with his hair hiding his forehead.
"Mr. Weasley,would you and Harry entertain Ace?"
Mr. Weasley looked so horrified."Entertain her?"
"You know what he means," Harry said. He took Ace's arm and
escorted her to sit down beside him.
"Very charming,Harry." McGonagall said, "Did you see that,Albus?"
"Everything in order,Minerva?"
"Yes,Albus." She turned,and there he was,at his side. "How's the Doctor?"
"He's discussing astronomy with Eleanor."
"Good. Do you have some free time?"
"I do."
"My office," he said. "Ten minutes."
"I'll be there in five."
She managed to walk into one of the Weasley twins. "Sorry. 'Scuse me,Professor."
"Of course,George."
He winced. "I'm Fred."
"I think I can tell the difference between you two by now."
George grinned. "Part of the fun of teaching us. Who's that girl?"
"A visitor. Don't corrupt her beyond all hope,please."
"For you,I'll resist."
He got out of her way; when she had passed,he strode over to his brother.
"-tastes like gasoline," he heard Ace say,spluttering.
"They say Every Flavor-" George began-
"-they MEAN Every Flavor." Fred finished,from the opposite side.
"Bertie Bott sounds like a sadistic weirdo."
"No,he's just very committed," Harry said. "There are all sorts of
flavors."
"Vomit-" George said.
"-ear wax-"
"-blood..."
"Ugh," Ace said.
"Don't you think you're making the wrong impression?"
Ace looked across the table; the girl on the other side smiled at her."Hermione Granger," she said,offering her hand.
"Ace." She took Hermione's hand. "So...are you a good witch?"
"She's the best we have," Ron said.
"Those of us who haven't seen THE WIZARD OF OZ," Fred said. "They take that question literally."
"That's Ron," Hermione said.
"I heard."
"These are his brothers Fred and George. He has three other brothers named Bill and Charlie and Percy and a sister named Ginny who's around here somewhere."
"Seven kids? Wow. I would've gone nuts."
"And this is Harry."
"Pleased to meet you,Harry."
He strechted across the table to shake her hand. As he did,she saw the scar on his forehead. "How'd that happen?" she asked.
The kids grew very quiet.
"Sorry," Ace said.
"No," Harry said."It's not your fault. In fact,you have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone who doesn't know who I am and how I
got this." He tapped his forehead. "I'm famous,you see. A very evil
wizard killed my parents when I was a year old. When he tried to kill
me,something went wrong and he lost his powers and his body-"
"So you laid a psychic smackdown on an evil wizard when you were a baby?"
"Yeah," Harry said. "Left me with this scar. And this wizard-his
name is Voldemort-"
Ron winced. He was the only one who did.
"He's come back," Harry said. "He has a body again and he wants me dead."
"Why does he want you dead?"
"Because he knows I'll be his downfall."
"Harry's beaten him four times," Hermione said. "It's become a tradition around here."
"I don't have a mum or a dad,either." Ace said.
"You don't?" Harry asked.
"Nah."
"Did they die?"
"I don't know. I don't care."
An owl soared down to the table,in front of Harry.
"This is Hedwig," Harry said. He fed her something from his plate.
"She's beautiful," Ace said. She stroked Hedwig,who cooed.
Another owl darted around Ace's head and fluttered around the table.
"And that's Pig."
"Pig? What kind of name is that for an owl?"
"Oh,all right. Pigwidgeon."
He landed on Ace's shouleder.
There was a letter tied to Pigwidgeon.
Ron managed to get it and opened it.
"What is it,Ron?"
"It's from Mum." He read the letter. "This is weird. Apparently,
the clock says we're all in Mortal Peril and she's worried."
"Weird," George said.
"Write her back and say everything's fine. We'll all sign it. You
can sign it if you like,Ace."
"Will you be attending Hogwarts,Ace?" Fred asked.
"Nah," Ace said. "The Doctor and me-"
"Who's the Doctor?"
"You'll probably meet him later-"
"So this is the Muggle I'm hearing about."
Ace knew she would hate whoever she saw when she turned; the voice was full of snobbery and mean intentions. She proved herself right when she saw the little blond Nazi and the two other blobs behind him.
"What's your problem?"
"You're my problem," he said. "I don't like Muggles."
"Could be worse."
"Really."
"I could be you,Macaulay."
His mouth dropped open,and his eyes widened.
"Excuse me," he said,and stumbled away. He didn't seem to have a particular destination in mind.
Ace turned back to the kids.
They were staring at her as if she were God.
"Who was that git?"
"Draco Malfoy. You just shut up Draco Malfoy."
"His name is Draco Malfoy? Who's he kidding?"
"I wish you were coming here," Ron said. "Where are you from,Ace?"
"Perivale," Ace said. "The Doctor is from another planet,though. Another time."
Harry opened his mouth to speak,but he saw the strange little man entering the Great Hall,followed by Professor Dumbledore and Madame
Hooch.
"Is that him?"
Ace turned,stunned for a moment by Madame Hooch's golden eyes. "That's him."
The Doctor smiled at Ace when he saw her. "Ah,Ace. I hate to take you away-"
"S'alright,Doctor. What's up?"
"Could someone show Ace around the grounds?" the Doctor asked.
Dumbledore nodded. "I know just the man."
He leaned in close to Ace."You'll know what you're looking for the moment you see it."
"See you later,I hope." Harry said.
"Bye," Ace said.