Guildenstern: Strange.
Rosencrantz: What is?
Guildenstern: The simple act of clustering. Note our peers, each happy to be part of a larger group. Only part mind you, not individual. Who controls it? Is there some sort of system? Or are we bound by natural laws, instinct, one might call it. And if so, why am I not experiencing this phenomenon? Perhaps I am caught in a field of sub- un- or supernatural forces where instinct does not apply.
Rosencrantz: What are you talking about? Come on, let's play ball!
Guildenstern: Syllogism the first: One: The act of clustering is due to instinctual urges beyond our control. Second: We are not affected by these instincts. Therefore: We our in control of our instinctual urges.
Rosencrantz: Then why do I have a sudden craving to play ball?
Guildenstern: Oh, forget your silly ball! Here's a new game. (Draws out coin from pouch.) I'll spin. Heads, you keep it and I'll spin another. Tails, I keep it, and you spin one. See here, have you got any coins?
Rosencrantz: I've forgotten.
Guildenstern: What's your name, anyway?
Rosencrantz: What's yours?
Guildenstern: Guildenstern
Rosencrantz: So's mine.
Guildenstern: No it isn't!
Rosencrantz: All right, Rosencrantz if you like.
Guildenstern: What's all this nonsense about my name being yours then?
Rosencrantz: I don't remember my name easy. It's no good anyway. Guildenstern's easier
Guildenstern: Syllogism the second: One: You don't like your name. Two: You can't remember your name. Therefore: You suppress memories of disliked things. Look here, what sort of things do you dislike?
Rosencrantz: Things I don't like?
Guildenstern: Yes.
Rosencrantz: Why would I want to think of those?
Guildenstern: Case in point. Syllogism the third: One: You suppress memories of disliked things. Two: You remember my name. Therefore: You like my name. I'm flattered.
Rosencrantz: Can we play ball now?
Guildenstern: Have you ever seen a unicorn?
Rosencrantz: No-Why?
Guildenstern: Never mind. Look here, I'll spin my coin.
Rosencrantz: If we can't play ball, how about Questions?
Guildenstern: Syllogism the fourth: One: You suppress memory of disliked things. Two: You don't remember if you have any coins. Therefore: You have an amount of coins that is unsatisfactory to your liking. I'd guess none. Oh well. How does one play at Questions?
Rosencrantz: Have you forgotten?
Guildenstern: I've never learned.
Rosencrantz: Aha! Statement! One, Zero.
Guildenstern: What?
Rosencrantz: I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
Guildenstern: What?
Rosencrantz: Repetition. Two, Zero.
Guildenstern: What are you talking about?
Rosencrantz: Haven't you ever played this game before?
Guildenstern: Didn't I just tell you I'd never learnt?
Rosencrantz: Did you?
Guildenstern: Are you mad?
Rosencrantz: Are you crazy?
Guildenstern: Why won't you talk sense?
Rosencrantz: Is it I who am talking nonsense, or you?
Guildenstern: Don't you discriminate?
Rosencrantz: Should I?
Guildenstern: Yes!
Rosencrantz: Statement. Three, Zero. Love.
Guildenstern: I don't even know what we're playing!
Rosencrantz: I'm murdering you! Statement! Four, nothing!
Guildenstern: Will you please tell me the rules?
Rosencrantz: Why do you want to know?
Guildenstern: Why is the sky blue, for heavens sake!
Rosencrantz: No non-sequitors. Five to nil.
Guildenstern: What's wrong with you?
Light fades as confused Guildenstern and smug Rosencrantz continue to argue.