Chapter One
DISCLAIMER and JUNK: I own nothing except the plot. The end. A brief warning. I have a tendency to start fics with one chapter and never finish them. However, this fic has at least 8 chapters already written out. If I get a good response I'll put the rest of them up. It doesn't complete the fic, but at least it's substance. R and R!
Balamb Garden: After the game ends. Squall is lying on his bed with his arms behind his bed, grinning like an idiot at his ceiling. The sound of the ocean can be heard through his window.
Squall: (thinking) Why the hell am I smiling? I *never* smile. C'mon Squall, stop it. Rinoa isn't here anymore!
Squall: (out loud, dreamily) Rinoa….
Squall: (thinking) Will you stop it with that lovey dovey crap! I thought I was a loner…(turns over on the bed) I thought that the only reason I was putting up with this mush crap was that it might piss off Seifer, but now…(stands up on his bed, makes a sweeping motion with his hand, and says out loud) I think I love her. (holds his hands up to the ceiling and shouts) I LOVE RINOA! Whoa! (he loses his footing and falls face first on the floor)
Cid's Office: Cid and Edea are loafing around in two big armchairs when they hear a loud thump beneath them.
Edea: (looks down at the floor) What was that dear?
Cid: I think it was Squall.
Edea: (surprised) Squall? What makes you think that was him?
Cid: (matter of factly) Quistis memorized where his room is located beneath us. The sound came from his general direction.
Edea: (shakes her head) She never learns, he's just not interested in her.
Cid: She knows that now. I just hope she finds somebody soon, before she has a nervous breakdown.
Edea: Getting back to the subject, what do suppose Squall is *doing* down there?
Cid: (shrugs) I don't know huney, but I think it's time… Mr. President? (diverts his attention to a man standing in the shadows by the window)
President: (glances at Cid) Hmm?
Cid: I think that now is the time that you should go talk to Squall.
Edea: But huney, it's 2 o'clock in the morning.
Cid: (rolls eyes) I *know* what time it is Edea, but if Squall is awake this is as good a time as any.
President: (nervously) Are you sure he's ready for this?
Cid: He fell out of bed, that has to be a good sign.
The President nods, and steps out of the shadows, revealing the face of Laguna Loire.
Edea: Good luck Mr. Loire.
Laguna: (steps into the elevator) Oh God…I feel a leg cramp coming on.
The elevator door shuts. Cid and Edea turn to each other.
Edea: He's toast.
Cid: Dead meat.
Edea: Gardian Force dogfood.
Cid: History.
In the meantime, Squall has left his room in search of his love, Rinoa. He wanders down the dormatory hallway.
Squall: (thinking) Hooooo boy, shouldn't have had sooooo much ta drink at the party. Still, it's a good thing I look ten years older than my actual age or I never would've been able to get the beer in the first place. (out loud) Rinoa?! Hunneykins? Sweetie-pie? Jiggleypuff? Where are yoooooo? I have something to tell yoooooo!
Suddenly, Squalls sees the Guardian Force known as Siren strolling down the hall with Cerberus on a leash.
Cerberus: Ohh, mommy look, a fire hydrant!
Siren: Stupid doggy, that's…WHOA! (Cerberus drags her by the leash over to Squall, lifts his leg and pees on the poor young SeeD)
Squall: Oh, cool! More beer!
Siren: Good potty, Cerberus!
Siren and Cerberus go trotting off and Squall continues on his merry way, until about 30 seconds later he realizes that it wasn't beer he was doused in and he runs to the bathroom. We never really do see what the Garden toliets look like, so now we do. It looks just like any other bathroom, except that it's painted hot green, pink, and orange. Squall heads to one of the showers ands starts to douse himself in water.
Squall: (thinking) I don't know what that was all about, but it wasn't fun. Since when do my Guardian Forces go strolling about Garden? And since when do they talk? Sure I know they can talk, but this is ridiculous….
Squall goes on thinking for about another half an hour before he decides that he's clean and ventures out again to find Rinoa. Meanwhile, at the first floor elevator…
Xu: (annoyed) Sir, please let go of my leg…
Laguna is clinging to Xu's leg like a baby, refusing to move.
Laguna: I can't do it! I thought I could, but I can't! Do you realize what he would do if I told him? (he stares delirously at Xu, she shakes her head in annoyance) He'd give me that look. That look that only he can do, the "What are you, some kind of a moron?" look.
Xu: Look, Mr. President, I have no idea who or what your talking about. But I'm sure you would get a much better response if you told your problems to that lamp post over there instead of me.
Laguna: (still clinging to her leg, to himself) How am I go going to prove to him that's it's true if he doesn't believe me? (lightbulb) I know! I'll have Ellone show him the time that Raine and I….uh, then again…
Xu: (notices someone aproaching) Dr. Kadowaki! HELP!
Dr Kadowaki approaches the struggling pair.
Dr K: What seems to be the problem here?
Laguna: (leaps away from Xu and grabs the Dr's labcoat) Doctor! You remember what you and I were talking about. The Big Secret.
Dr. K: (eyes go wide) That!? (whispers) What about it?
Laguna: (whispers) Well, it's time to let the secret out, if you know what I mean?
Xu: (rolls eyes) Gimme a break!
Dr K: Alright. I've been giving some thought to your problem, and I have an idea.
She and Laguna go off to the infirmerary with their heads bent together, discussing a plan. Xu watches them leave in bewilderment.
Xu: Big Secret?……oh, *that* Big Secret! (she grins evilly) In that case, he's toast.
What is Laguna's big secret? Will Squall ever find Rinoa and declare his love in his drunken state. Will I ever get on with the main plot? Will my writing skills improve? Find out next time on Succesion of the Fantasies!