Chapter Three

WARNING: This is probably the raciest chapter. It's still rated the same as the others and show nothing R rated or anything, but certain things are implied that might seem wrong to some people. This is because I was younger when I wrote this Chapter and liked to write things that were indecently funny. However, although certain things are implied in this Chapter, I can assure you that they did NOT actually happen. Now you cannot complain that I didn't warn you!

The next day, Squall awakens in the infirmary. He is covered head to toe in bandages. The window is open and a calm breeze is blowing over his body. Soft sunlight streams through the window.

Squall: (thinking) Am I dead? I fought with Eden, how can I be alive? It was about to kill me, and then…….the moron rescued me?! Wait a minute, that clown couldn't have beaten Eden. What the hell happened? I thought I heard Dr. Kadowaki's voice, but it also sounded like……GILGAMESH!!!! Holy crap, Dr K is a GF! Good God, for all I know Cid may be a GF too! And every other minor character too! I thought that Rajin and Fujin's bantering sounded a lot like Sacred and Minotaur.

Squall turns around in bed to get more comfortable, a comes face to face with Laguna.

Squall:………

Laguna:…….

Squall:…….

Laguna:…….

Squall:……….???!!!

Laguna: :-)

Squall: aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKK!!!

Somewhere, at the other side of Garden, Rinoa starts from her sleep at the sound of screaming.

Rinoa: Uh-oh. Sounds like Squall's awake. (gets up and runs from the room)

In the cafeteria, Zell and Quistis, now sober, are leaning over two cups of coffee. Zell is clothed normally, and so is Quistis, thank God. Zell, of course, is also eating a hotdog.

Quistis: (looks up drowsily from her coffee) What was that?

Zell: Who cares? Probably some bird that got caught in a jet engine.

Off in a dorm room somewhere, Irvine awakens in nothing but his hat and his boxers. Selphie is draped across him.

Irvine:…………..$%&!

Selphie: (awakes) Huh? Whoa! Irvy!? What are *you* doing in my room?

Irvine: I don't know! The last thing I remember doing is sneaking in Squall's room and taking all the GFs outta his drawers. …….Why am I in my boxers?

Selphie: (grin grin)

Irvine: (nervously) Ah, Sefie…did we….?

Selphie: I hope not.

Both:…………..

Irvine: I think I would've remembered.

Selphie: Me too…..

Both:…….

Selphie: (flustered) Well, um, let me get offa you. (gets off of him) I think you should go back to your room and put some clothes on, maybe? (unconsciously smoothes her hands down the sides of her yellow jumper) I think we're okay, I'm still in my clothes. I think I remember you dancing on a bench in your boxers.

Irvine: (sits on the bed) Remember anything else?

Selphie: A lot of fire. And a giant hot dog. That's about it.

Irvine: Okay…

Selphie:……..kay.

Irvine: (gets up) Well, I'll go now. I'll see you later, perhaps?

Selphie: (looks down at her feet and blushes) Perhaps…..

Irvine: Good, okay, see ya. (he rushes out of the room leaving Selphie alone)

Selphie: (puts her hands on her chest and sighs) He can't know, he can never know. If he knew how I felt about him…(shakes her head, and wanders off towards her bathroom) I wonder how Squall and Sir Laguna are doing…

We switch from one uncomfortable scene to another, where Squall finds that someone's been sleeping in his bed, while he's still in it no less…

Squall: YOU MORON!!! What are you doing in my bed?

Laguna: (cocks eyebrow) *Your* bed? This is *our* bed.

Squall: (fumbles out of bed to get away from Laguna) What the heck are you doing, sleeping in the same bed as me?!

Laguna: The infirmary only has one bed, remember?

Squall: (dryly) You could've slept in your room.

Laguna: (smiles) I wanted to catch up on lost time.

Squall: What do you mean, lost time?

Laguna: (gets up) I'll explain later today. Meet me in the library, we need to talk.

Squall: (shrugs) Whatever.

Laguna: (stretches) Ack, those potions give me cramps!

Squall: Sir?

Laguna: Huh?

Squall: I thought that we burned to death…

Laguna: Did you ever hear of a Phoenix Down?

Squall: …Oh.

Laguna: (heads to the door) You should take those bandages off, you look stupid in them. And I know you hate looking stupid.

Squall: (shrugs) Whatever.

Laguna: Okay, I'm gonna find Ellone.

Squall: (bored) Like I care…

Laguna: (sarcastic) Nice to see you back to normal Mister Serious. Remember to meet me.

He exits. Squall stares at the door for awhile, and realizes that he's alone in the infirmary. He starts to take his bandages off, and realizes that he isn't burned at all. (ain't potions wonderful) Once he has removed the bandages, he is completely naked. Just at this time, Rinoa comes bounding into the room like a leaping antelope.

Rinoa: (catching sight of Squall's butt) WHOA!!!

Squall: (turns around) HOLY HELL!!! (grabs the bedsheets and quickly covers himself up in them)

Rinoa: (stutters) Ah..Squall..you..you're…

Squall: Naked.

Rinoa: (nods) Yup.

Squall: Thanks for stating the obvious.

Rinoa: (upset) Oh, don't be a meanie!

Squall: (offended) Hey, have you ever woken up to find the President of Esthar sleeping beside you?

Rinoa: Laguna? (Squall nods) I'm sorry. But that's not half as bad as what happened before…

Squall: (thinks) Here she goes again. It's a good thing I love her.

Rinoa: Oh Squall, it was terrible! I was in my room last night when I heard this loud noise out in the hallway. I went out and everyone was going crazy. Irvine was tap dancing in his boxers. Selphie was acting like Satan incarnate. Zell thought he was a giant hotdog, and Quistis was…(shudders)

Both: Naked.

Squall: (wraps an arm around her) I know.

Rinoa: (continues) And what's worse, the GFs were loose. I think while we were out on the balcony, Irvine and Selphie snuck into your room and let 'em loose. Selphie was shouting, "GF's Revenge!" and lighting everything on fire. Then Diablos captured me(looks frightened and hugs herself) and he dragged me off to the Training Center where the GFs took me hostage waiting for you to come. (violently hugs him) Oh Squall, I'm sorry I couldn't stop them, but my powers aren't any good against GFs! I was so scared for you.

Squall: (softly) It's okay….what happened after they took me away?

Rinoa: (holds him tighter) Diablos knocked me out. Angelo managed to drag me out of the Training Center before anything ate me. Now this is the scary part. When I woke up in my bed, Dr Kadowaki was there and explained what had happened to you, but she (whispers) looked like Gilgamesh…

Squall: She is Gilgamesh. (Rinoa gapes at him) I'll explain later. I need to tell you something…

Rinoa: (bats eyes) Yeah?

Squall: (eyes go wide) Um….uh….I…

Rinoa: (smiles seductively) Yes?

Squall: I…I'm…going to see Laguna later on today. Will you come with me?

Rinoa: (disappointed) Oh. Sure. I guess I owe him a thank you for saving my boyfriend.

Squall: (sighs in relief) Good, thanks Rinoa. (thinks) Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!

Will Squall ever say the three big words to Rinoa? (maybe) Did Irvine and Selphie do it? (no) Will Laguna tell Squall "The Big Secret"? (someday) Will I ever get on with the main theme of the story? (yes) Keep reading, on the next chapter of Succession of the Fantasies.