Chapter 6
I stayed in Mary's room after the police left at around 3:30am. I didn't sleep, I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing 'his' face! Why would a guy like him, who could obviously get any girl he wanted, be doing something like this to me?! A nobody! A hired help! The more I thought about it the less sense it made....but there was no one else!! I didn't know what to do or where to go from there! My thoughts turned to home, to Mick! Our cosey little flat in London, so far away now. Mick couldn't help me from England, so maybe I should go back there?! I'd tried, that was the main thing - tried & failed, end of story, thankyou very much, goodnight! God being a nanny was all I'd ever wanted to do - I didn't even know how to do anything else! What would I do back in England - become a shop assistant?! After all the hard work, training & tears I'd put into being a nanny I wasn't going to give it up that easily!! Plus the kids loved me & in the short space of time that I'd looked after them I'd grown to love them too! Their next nanny might not understand Daniel's little words, or know what flavour ice cream was his favourite! Tears welled up in my eyes........I had some serious decisions to make!
Mary woke up early as usual! She couldn't have had more than three hours sleep but she got up as bright & energetic as a woman half her age who'd been asleep for a week! She amazed me!
"Have you been sitting there all night?"
I nodded, "I couldn't sleep!"
"You know who it is don't you?"
I was surprised by her question, it caught me off guard & I didn't know what to say so I just turned & looked out of the window & chewed on my thumb nail some more!
"Bec.....honey if you have any idea...well you can tell me & maybe we can go to the police?!"
"NO! Look Mary I don't know really! I just.......I had a feeling, but in the cold light of day I realise I could be way off the mark! I don't want to go throwing wild accusations arround - that's how people get hurt!"
"Why do you think you're way off the mark?"
"Because....because I am! It can't be J.....it can't be the person I thought it was because he doesn't have any reason......oh look I just want to forget about the whole thing! I have to go & get the kids up!"
"Oh no you don't young lady! You're staying right where you are! Sarah & I will see to the little'uns today! You need some rest!"
"Mary no! I couldn't ask you to do that! I kept you up all night as it is! NO this is my job & I'm being paid for it! Which reminds me, let me know how much it is to get the window fixed & I'll ay for that!"
"Like hell you will! John's paid to do his job too, handyman - you know what that means?"
"Yes...but...."
"Handyman - a man paid to do repairs around the place!!!" She wagged her finger at me, "...so I've called John & he'll have that window fixed in no time & I want no buts!"
"OK if you're sure! Thankyou!"
"Same goes for the kids!" she smiled, "You don't have to stay in bed or anything, just have some time to yourself today, go out, shop, whatever, but just try to relax ok?"
I nodded, I knew there was no arguing with this woman! I decided I'd feel much better after a shower, so while mary bustled around getting the kids ready for school, that's exactly what I did!
By the time I got dressed & went downstairs the house was deserted. I made a cup of coffee & sat at the table, drumming my fingers & pretending I didn't have a care in the world! 'The sun was shining, the house was full of people, I had a million pounds in my bank account & there was no boogie man!! I let out a laugh, but it sounded so hollow in the empty house & I suddenly felt very alone, alone & vunerable! I heard a floorboard creak & I jumped! My heart was racing! The tap on the sink dripped.....the wind rustled the leaves outside the back door, the clock ticked & there was a cat mewing somewhere in the distance! At every sound my heart skipped a beat & I held my breath! I'd had enough! I grabbed my coat & stepped outside into the cold November morning!
I went down to the local store, just to be among other people! Out of habit I bought a packet of ciggarettes, I'd quit smoking over a year ago but my mind was in such a turmoil when I realised I'd have to buy something or I'd look like a freak! That was the first thing that came out of my mouth!! While I was paying for my ciggarettes the door opened behind me, but I hardly noticed. I thanked the old guy behind the counter & turned to leave, walking head first into someone's chest! I held my breath, not daring to look up into his face! I just stood there doing absolutely nothing!
"Hey we have to stop meeting like this!"
I forced my head up & stared at Jeff. Our faces were only inches apart. 'You're not going to frighten me asshole!' I thought to myself, but I was still about piss on the floor!!
"Hi! Erm.....gotta go! Bye!" I said & hurried out of the door!
"Hey! Are you ok?" He called but I ignored him & closed the door quickly behind me! Once outside I took a deep breath & went around the side of the building away from the door incase he was to come out any
time soon! I fumbled with the ciggarettes, almost dropping them I was shaking so much! I put one in my mouth & looked at my trembling hands.
"What has gotten into you girl!!?" I said quietly. I searched my pockets frantically looking for a light - why I thought there'd be one in there after so long I had no idea! Once I realised I wasn't going to find one I took the ciggarette out of my mouth & threw it to the floor!
"SHIT!" I put a hand to my head. "SHIT! GODDAMN BASTARD!" I kicked the wall! I was so angry at myself for getting so worked up over this! "MOTHER FUCKER!!" I turned my back to the wall & leaned on it, looking up at the grey sky & wishing I was someone else!
"Kicking walls is bad for your health!" said a voice.
I jumped & then slowly turned to see it was Matt! "Oh Matt! Christ it's you!" I held my chest & gasped from the fright!
"Jesus what's eating you today!? Sorry I didn't mean to scare you!"
"It's ok..." my heart felt like it was going to jump right out of my coat! "...it doesn't take much to scare me these days!"
"Man I hope you don't mind me saying but you look like shit!"
I laughed sarcastically, "Well I feel about ten times worse than I look believe me!" I looked over my shoulder, "Look...erm.....feel like a walk?"
"Um yeah ok! I just need to find Jeff! Is he in the st..."
"NO!...no he isn't in there! Come on let's get out of here!" I walked away & Matt followed me! I knew how ridiculous this was & I was trying to think calmly, but rational thinking was never my strong point, least of all today!
"So, what's with those things?" Matt pointed to the ciggarettes in my hand & I quickly stuffed them into my pocket.
"Oh nothing, force of habit I guess.............luckily for me I didn't even have a light!"
"Has something else happened since yesterday?"
"Yeah you could say that!" I looked over my shoulder again to see if Jeff was anywhere in sight, he wasn't! Matt did the same, trying to see what I was looking for! "I had a bit of a rough night!" I sighed.
"Coffee & a shoulder to cry on?" he raised his eyebrows & I looked away, biting on my lip. "Hey," he said softly & touched my arm, "I have pretty good shoulders!" I laughed! "A smile!!!!" he said & pinched my cheek!
"Ok ok let's go!"
So, that's how I found myself back at the Hardy's house!
*******
I told Matt everything that had happened in the middle of the night & he listened without saying a word.
"The thing is Matt I'm getting seriously freaked out man! I'm scared! I'm thousands of miles away from home, I have no firends & I'm freking out!"
"I'm wounded!" he joked, clutching his chest. I looked at him confused! "What about me?! Am I not a friend?"
"Yeah I guess...but I hardly know you, that's what I meant!" He reached across the table & took hold of my hand. "Until yesterday you were just a picture on my little brother's wall!" I smiled.
"Well if you need a friend you count on me....." I started to cry! "Oh hey come on!" He came around the table, hoisted me to my feet & put his arms around me. My head only came up to his chest! He pulled me close to him, stroking my hair. "Come on! It'll be ok!"
"It won't! I'll have to go home and...."
"It's just some silly kid with a crush!" He rocked me & tried to calm me down, "Whoever it is will get tired of these games, just try not to let it get to you!"
"But it IS getting to me Matt!" I sobbed, "I'm a nervous wreck here!"
Matt squeezed me tightly & I held onto him like we were the last two people on the planet! He was right....he did have good shoulders!!
I stayed in Mary's room after the police left at around 3:30am. I didn't sleep, I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing 'his' face! Why would a guy like him, who could obviously get any girl he wanted, be doing something like this to me?! A nobody! A hired help! The more I thought about it the less sense it made....but there was no one else!! I didn't know what to do or where to go from there! My thoughts turned to home, to Mick! Our cosey little flat in London, so far away now. Mick couldn't help me from England, so maybe I should go back there?! I'd tried, that was the main thing - tried & failed, end of story, thankyou very much, goodnight! God being a nanny was all I'd ever wanted to do - I didn't even know how to do anything else! What would I do back in England - become a shop assistant?! After all the hard work, training & tears I'd put into being a nanny I wasn't going to give it up that easily!! Plus the kids loved me & in the short space of time that I'd looked after them I'd grown to love them too! Their next nanny might not understand Daniel's little words, or know what flavour ice cream was his favourite! Tears welled up in my eyes........I had some serious decisions to make!
Mary woke up early as usual! She couldn't have had more than three hours sleep but she got up as bright & energetic as a woman half her age who'd been asleep for a week! She amazed me!
"Have you been sitting there all night?"
I nodded, "I couldn't sleep!"
"You know who it is don't you?"
I was surprised by her question, it caught me off guard & I didn't know what to say so I just turned & looked out of the window & chewed on my thumb nail some more!
"Bec.....honey if you have any idea...well you can tell me & maybe we can go to the police?!"
"NO! Look Mary I don't know really! I just.......I had a feeling, but in the cold light of day I realise I could be way off the mark! I don't want to go throwing wild accusations arround - that's how people get hurt!"
"Why do you think you're way off the mark?"
"Because....because I am! It can't be J.....it can't be the person I thought it was because he doesn't have any reason......oh look I just want to forget about the whole thing! I have to go & get the kids up!"
"Oh no you don't young lady! You're staying right where you are! Sarah & I will see to the little'uns today! You need some rest!"
"Mary no! I couldn't ask you to do that! I kept you up all night as it is! NO this is my job & I'm being paid for it! Which reminds me, let me know how much it is to get the window fixed & I'll ay for that!"
"Like hell you will! John's paid to do his job too, handyman - you know what that means?"
"Yes...but...."
"Handyman - a man paid to do repairs around the place!!!" She wagged her finger at me, "...so I've called John & he'll have that window fixed in no time & I want no buts!"
"OK if you're sure! Thankyou!"
"Same goes for the kids!" she smiled, "You don't have to stay in bed or anything, just have some time to yourself today, go out, shop, whatever, but just try to relax ok?"
I nodded, I knew there was no arguing with this woman! I decided I'd feel much better after a shower, so while mary bustled around getting the kids ready for school, that's exactly what I did!
By the time I got dressed & went downstairs the house was deserted. I made a cup of coffee & sat at the table, drumming my fingers & pretending I didn't have a care in the world! 'The sun was shining, the house was full of people, I had a million pounds in my bank account & there was no boogie man!! I let out a laugh, but it sounded so hollow in the empty house & I suddenly felt very alone, alone & vunerable! I heard a floorboard creak & I jumped! My heart was racing! The tap on the sink dripped.....the wind rustled the leaves outside the back door, the clock ticked & there was a cat mewing somewhere in the distance! At every sound my heart skipped a beat & I held my breath! I'd had enough! I grabbed my coat & stepped outside into the cold November morning!
I went down to the local store, just to be among other people! Out of habit I bought a packet of ciggarettes, I'd quit smoking over a year ago but my mind was in such a turmoil when I realised I'd have to buy something or I'd look like a freak! That was the first thing that came out of my mouth!! While I was paying for my ciggarettes the door opened behind me, but I hardly noticed. I thanked the old guy behind the counter & turned to leave, walking head first into someone's chest! I held my breath, not daring to look up into his face! I just stood there doing absolutely nothing!
"Hey we have to stop meeting like this!"
I forced my head up & stared at Jeff. Our faces were only inches apart. 'You're not going to frighten me asshole!' I thought to myself, but I was still about piss on the floor!!
"Hi! Erm.....gotta go! Bye!" I said & hurried out of the door!
"Hey! Are you ok?" He called but I ignored him & closed the door quickly behind me! Once outside I took a deep breath & went around the side of the building away from the door incase he was to come out any
time soon! I fumbled with the ciggarettes, almost dropping them I was shaking so much! I put one in my mouth & looked at my trembling hands.
"What has gotten into you girl!!?" I said quietly. I searched my pockets frantically looking for a light - why I thought there'd be one in there after so long I had no idea! Once I realised I wasn't going to find one I took the ciggarette out of my mouth & threw it to the floor!
"SHIT!" I put a hand to my head. "SHIT! GODDAMN BASTARD!" I kicked the wall! I was so angry at myself for getting so worked up over this! "MOTHER FUCKER!!" I turned my back to the wall & leaned on it, looking up at the grey sky & wishing I was someone else!
"Kicking walls is bad for your health!" said a voice.
I jumped & then slowly turned to see it was Matt! "Oh Matt! Christ it's you!" I held my chest & gasped from the fright!
"Jesus what's eating you today!? Sorry I didn't mean to scare you!"
"It's ok..." my heart felt like it was going to jump right out of my coat! "...it doesn't take much to scare me these days!"
"Man I hope you don't mind me saying but you look like shit!"
I laughed sarcastically, "Well I feel about ten times worse than I look believe me!" I looked over my shoulder, "Look...erm.....feel like a walk?"
"Um yeah ok! I just need to find Jeff! Is he in the st..."
"NO!...no he isn't in there! Come on let's get out of here!" I walked away & Matt followed me! I knew how ridiculous this was & I was trying to think calmly, but rational thinking was never my strong point, least of all today!
"So, what's with those things?" Matt pointed to the ciggarettes in my hand & I quickly stuffed them into my pocket.
"Oh nothing, force of habit I guess.............luckily for me I didn't even have a light!"
"Has something else happened since yesterday?"
"Yeah you could say that!" I looked over my shoulder again to see if Jeff was anywhere in sight, he wasn't! Matt did the same, trying to see what I was looking for! "I had a bit of a rough night!" I sighed.
"Coffee & a shoulder to cry on?" he raised his eyebrows & I looked away, biting on my lip. "Hey," he said softly & touched my arm, "I have pretty good shoulders!" I laughed! "A smile!!!!" he said & pinched my cheek!
"Ok ok let's go!"
So, that's how I found myself back at the Hardy's house!
*******
I told Matt everything that had happened in the middle of the night & he listened without saying a word.
"The thing is Matt I'm getting seriously freaked out man! I'm scared! I'm thousands of miles away from home, I have no firends & I'm freking out!"
"I'm wounded!" he joked, clutching his chest. I looked at him confused! "What about me?! Am I not a friend?"
"Yeah I guess...but I hardly know you, that's what I meant!" He reached across the table & took hold of my hand. "Until yesterday you were just a picture on my little brother's wall!" I smiled.
"Well if you need a friend you count on me....." I started to cry! "Oh hey come on!" He came around the table, hoisted me to my feet & put his arms around me. My head only came up to his chest! He pulled me close to him, stroking my hair. "Come on! It'll be ok!"
"It won't! I'll have to go home and...."
"It's just some silly kid with a crush!" He rocked me & tried to calm me down, "Whoever it is will get tired of these games, just try not to let it get to you!"
"But it IS getting to me Matt!" I sobbed, "I'm a nervous wreck here!"
Matt squeezed me tightly & I held onto him like we were the last two people on the planet! He was right....he did have good shoulders!!