Title: Unspoken
Author: mikage-aya
Disclaimer: I owned nothing. Nothing
Summary: Late night musings
Author Notes: Sorry people. This is sort of a written on the spot kind of thing and English Is not my first language. I apologized for any mistakes and hope you all Enjoy this. Read and review please!!
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I thought once that money makes the world go round. Now I realize it is just gravity.
------ unknown ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I looked at him while he is sleeping at night. I slipped into his room quietly and watched him till the breaking of dawn. Sometimes I think he knows I'm looking at him. But most of the time, I just don't care.
I need him by my side so much.
Always, I marvel at the way his soft red hair reflected the moonlight, the way those crimson lashes cast crescent shadows upon his pale face. The scar on his left cheek seem enticing, begging for a touch. I praise Mother Nature for making one with beauty as his, both physical and internally.
I watched as his chest rose and fall, a rhythm that symbolizes life. He looked even younger in sleep, an aura of innocence and mystery surrounding him.
People often thought I love him, or at least I have a crush on him. Well, I do love him, but not as the love that is of eros, you know.
I need him, needed him like the sunshine and air that I breath, needed him like the water and food that I consume. I need him like fire needed oxygen.
But need and love is different.
I cannot love him with the unselfish type of love because I am selfish. Agape does not exist in our dictionary of relationship.
I love him like one would love an idol.
Admire from far.
I know he loves me too. Love me like the way he loved his non-killing ways. Love me because I am the symbol of the dream he hoped to achieve. Love me because my very presence means he is right and he did not waste all these years wandering atoning.
Love me because my presence represents Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. That using a sword to protect instead of kill is possible. That whatever we do is not a mockery.
Love me because loving me means loving himself. That he is right.
I don't really care why he loves me as long as he is by my side. I don't care because I'm that selfish.
Sometimes, tears would trickle down my cheeks and I would feel the urge to leave. To forget everything and start over again.
But I will go into his room and look at him again and I will forget all my ideas of leaving.
Where can I go? Where can I run? I'm like a plant that clings desperately onto its support.
He knows about my feelings for him. That I am sure of. He is neither stupid nor naïve.
We complete something in each other. He filled my loneliness and I reaffirmed his values.
Love? Maybe this is also a form of love. But I will not know. Because I never knew what love is.
However, sitting here by the moonlight, watching him sleeping brought me a measure of peace that I never knew before. It sooths my heart and ease the pain just a little. And even though the next morning comes, we will simply act out the roles we casted for ourselves.
But I always look forward to the nights, nights when the time spent between us is unspoken.
The End
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Author: mikage-aya
Disclaimer: I owned nothing. Nothing
Summary: Late night musings
Author Notes: Sorry people. This is sort of a written on the spot kind of thing and English Is not my first language. I apologized for any mistakes and hope you all Enjoy this. Read and review please!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought once that money makes the world go round. Now I realize it is just gravity.
------ unknown ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I looked at him while he is sleeping at night. I slipped into his room quietly and watched him till the breaking of dawn. Sometimes I think he knows I'm looking at him. But most of the time, I just don't care.
I need him by my side so much.
Always, I marvel at the way his soft red hair reflected the moonlight, the way those crimson lashes cast crescent shadows upon his pale face. The scar on his left cheek seem enticing, begging for a touch. I praise Mother Nature for making one with beauty as his, both physical and internally.
I watched as his chest rose and fall, a rhythm that symbolizes life. He looked even younger in sleep, an aura of innocence and mystery surrounding him.
People often thought I love him, or at least I have a crush on him. Well, I do love him, but not as the love that is of eros, you know.
I need him, needed him like the sunshine and air that I breath, needed him like the water and food that I consume. I need him like fire needed oxygen.
But need and love is different.
I cannot love him with the unselfish type of love because I am selfish. Agape does not exist in our dictionary of relationship.
I love him like one would love an idol.
Admire from far.
I know he loves me too. Love me like the way he loved his non-killing ways. Love me because I am the symbol of the dream he hoped to achieve. Love me because my very presence means he is right and he did not waste all these years wandering atoning.
Love me because my presence represents Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. That using a sword to protect instead of kill is possible. That whatever we do is not a mockery.
Love me because loving me means loving himself. That he is right.
I don't really care why he loves me as long as he is by my side. I don't care because I'm that selfish.
Sometimes, tears would trickle down my cheeks and I would feel the urge to leave. To forget everything and start over again.
But I will go into his room and look at him again and I will forget all my ideas of leaving.
Where can I go? Where can I run? I'm like a plant that clings desperately onto its support.
He knows about my feelings for him. That I am sure of. He is neither stupid nor naïve.
We complete something in each other. He filled my loneliness and I reaffirmed his values.
Love? Maybe this is also a form of love. But I will not know. Because I never knew what love is.
However, sitting here by the moonlight, watching him sleeping brought me a measure of peace that I never knew before. It sooths my heart and ease the pain just a little. And even though the next morning comes, we will simply act out the roles we casted for ourselves.
But I always look forward to the nights, nights when the time spent between us is unspoken.
The End
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