A.n.-And we have another chapter^_^I never really expected for ya'all to like this fic so much^_^I was sure it was just going to end up another lost fic in the sands of the Internet^_^. Hehe:)Don't forget to review, onegai^_^. Reviews are the life-blood of what I write. They're my motivation....no reviews no motivation -_-'.....so, review onegai!^_~
Dissclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own this song: "Like You Never Had A Broken Heart" By Trisha Yearwood.
Dedication-Tohru, AnimeQueen, Lunatic Lisa (LL, Vampire Huntress DD, Chibi B, X.X. (OHHHHHHH), --NC--, Blue Diamond, Asian Angel 12, Yami-kun, and Renee The Rabid Squirell.^_^Domo Arigatou Minna for all your reviews!^_^
~Don't be afraid to hold me tight
You know I won't break in two
What we're doing here tonight
Sure beats what we're going through~
My heart thundered painfully in my chest as I stared down at the unmoving form of my Hikari. I longed to reach out and brush a tendril of that snowy white hair, but I couldn't. What right do I have to touch him? I'm a tainted bastard who he caught in bed with one of the biggest whores in Domino. Who asked for forgiveness when that was asking more then a saint could even give.
Forcing myself to move I kneed next to the bed, resting my hands of the worn quilt. Tear stains marred his too pale features, though it didn't detour from the soft beauty that had always been his...that would always be his. My mind did a flashback to the moment when he had appeared from the ring. His slightly longer silver hair falling heedlessly over his face, nearly hiding those glories brown orbs that shown a light unknown to many
Ra, the look on his face...the utter betrayle....the pain....it hurt me to know that once more I was responsible for my Hikari's pain. Though I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised. All I've ever brought to his life is misery. I love him though....I do....despite the fact that I always seem to hurt him in someway I do love him.
I was locked in the Ring many a millina ago for sins only the Pharaoh and Yami Malik know about. Though their memory's are somewhat dimmed, like my own, from the passage of time that passed while sealed away. From slipping slowly into madness from having only yourself and being swallowed by a darkness too deep for anyone to survive.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Malik stare in at me and Ryou. Shifting my gaze from the golden-haired Egyption back to my Abiou I layed a single hand against his snow white hair; half expecting Ra to strike me down for daring to touch. Nothing happened though. Closing my eyes I recalled what had happened earlier that night.
What I had done to damn myself yet agine, and to harm my chibi hikari yet again.
~We both loved and lost before
You know the sadness it can bring
Tonight let's close the door
And hold onto the nearest thing~
It had been dusk, yet another worthless day without my Hikari at my side had passed so that didn't really matter that much to me anymore. My eyes felt swollen, a quick glance in the mirror had shown me that they were puffy and red; my features pale and creased in appearance. Yet I couldn't truly bring myself to care.
What did it matter that I looked like hell when my Hikari had sealed himself away and the perfect little illusion I had created to make everything seem somewhat whole while I waited for his return was shattered. Maybe this was Ra's revenge on me for treating Ryou so cruelly in the beginning. Maybe, this was hell.
For without him that's exactly what my life was: hell. Then she had come in. With her big blue eyes staring over at me, her shoulder length nearly black hair falling to her shoulders as she walked into the room. She began to speak to me, touching my face gently as she did so. Her words passed right through me, I didn't even hear them really. I only saw her sudden gentleness.
Felt the feather light kindness that only one being in this entire hypocracy damned world had ever given me. I looked up at her, at Anzu, and for the briefest moment I saw sincerity in her gaze. Well, the almost sincerity I suppose. The sincerity that she wanted me back that is. She told me she had lost Yuugi to the Pharaoh and knew how I felt, in a way, about losing Ryou inside the Ring.
Even if we didn't have the same attachments that the Pharaoh and his hikari have. I nearly laughed aloud. She didn't know. Didn't know that my love for Ryou far went beyond being his protector and as redemption for how I treated him. It went farther then that. He is the other part of me, the lighter half of my Soul. Without him at my side I can never be complete...ever.
But, what I feel for Ryou went, perhaps, beyond even the bond a Hikari and Yami share. I love beyond words, beyond description. But in that moment, as I looked into her eyes...I saw something. It wasn't innocence, wasn't purity or anything like what I always saw and felt in Ryou....It wasn't even pity or anything, more like....empathy, a sense of understanding that I hadn't felt in a long time.
She'd put her arms so gently around me, laying her head against my chest in the same way that Ryou used to.....
~Lets keep hangin' on
So we won't fall apart
Lets make love tonight
Like we never had a broken heart~
I don't know what happened really after that. The next thing I knew her lips were pressed so firmly against mine. Her hands running down over my body with a restlessness only lust can provide.
It wasn't love.
It wasn't even lust for her.
It was barely even her gentle touch.
It was the fact that as I closed my eyes her soft touch became his. Became Ryou's. And for a single brief instance.......it wasn't Anzu who I was with.....it was my Abiou. It was his lips who rained kisses down over me, it was him who's body was against me. I could suddenly ignore all the major differences in his body and hers....and simply imagine that it was him with me. Not in the ring, but warm and alive, pulsating beneath me.
I could pretend with her a reality that had become a dream to me. And for that one split hours or so in time.....my dream was real. I had him laying in my arms. When it was over she cuddled against my body, her soft breathing tickling warmly my neck. The illusion by then had shattered and I felt sick to my stomach.
Sick with myself, sick with her, sick with this friggin' life that I'm forced to live. Sick with not having him here, beside me, in my arms...where he belongs. For a minute I actually longed for the days when he had first received the Ring. At least then he wouldn't be locked in his blasted soul room and I could be holding him and not this slut.
The mere thought made guilt and shame fall over me. Not at the thought of having him here with me and not that whore.....but that for a second I had wanted the days when he had been so afraid of me. When he had been so ....when I had hurt him so much...
Time passed over me as I fought with the sudden urge to throw the out of my arms and into the floor; And maybe throw myself out the window or something when I was finished throwing her out of the house and my bed for that matter. But I did nothing. I simply layed there, my arms motionless around her small frame.
Ryou. I loved him, yet I had just gone back to that slut who had tore us apart in the first place. How had I become so weak? How had I become such a fool? My stomach was churning with disgust, my pride and heart aching vibrantly at what I had done. I was waiting for his return so I could tell him exactly how I truly feel for him, yet here I was back in bed with her.
Abruptly I golden light shown from my Ring, flashing brightly through the darkness in the room. I could feel something i'd not felt in months, the bare feeling of my Hikari's soul against my own, nothing blocking off his thoughts and mine....nothing between the two of us anymore.
~Don't be afraid to close your eyes
Pretend i'm someone that you love
And I won't have to tell you lies
'Cause its not you i'm thinkin' of~
~Lets keep hangin' on
So we won't fall apart
Lets make love tonight
Like we never had a broken heart~
Anguish tore through me, of all the nights for the Ring to reject his presence it was now. The figure I had longed for all this time appeared not too far away from the bed on hi hands and knees. Slightly longer silver hair hung raggedly over his shoulders and I let in a gasp vaugly hearing Anzu do the same. Apparently the light had awoken her.
Chocolate brown eyes of the same intensity I remembered snapped open, tears burned in their depths."Hikari..."I breathed out the word, feeling the need to say it to prove I wasn't asleep and dreaming this. That I hadn't slipped so far into madness that I was imagining this.
He stood slowly, his eyes falling onto me as I searched him over. Feeling the need to memorize every detail about him, to imprint his image even further into my mind. Anzu wrapped an arm around me, pressing her nude body against my back. I didn't bother to shove her off, her presence in my mind already forgotten really.
Ryou backed away suddenly, a small cry escaping his lips as tears rushed down his face. What was wrong? Abruptly the realization hit me. I was in his bed, with Anzu.....naked. It didn't take a baka to figure out what had happened really. I started to stand up, trying to get out of Anzu's sudden death grip.
I pulled myself out of her grasp angrily, seeing the expression of utter hate and envy she shot at Ryou. She knew. Silently she was telling me that if I rose and went to him then anything we had would be gone. Like I really give a damn.
"Hikari...."I said, my voice sounding weak and shaky in my ears,"I'm....sorry...I didn't...I didn't think you'd really be back so soon...please...just...wait...I've so many....so many things to tell you!"
Words, useless words now. Ryou bolted from the room, heedless of the apologizes I yelled that this was only a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding? -Just- a misunderstanding? It was far more then that. Jumping off the bed I quickly grabbed my boxers off the floor and tugged them on along with my discarded pants.
Practically diving out of the room after my Hikari I raced after him out the door and into the darkness of the streets of Domino. The bright silver light of the moon lite my path, stinging my eyes slightly since they'd become rather unused to much light over the time I'd spent locked in Ryou's room.
I called after my Abiou to stop, though unsupriseingly he didn't. Pushing more speed into my run I began to gain on him. Ryou can be very fast when he wants to be, I knew that....however, I'm still superior to him in physical sense. Jumping forward I tackled him to the ground. Tears were rushing down my face though I paid them no mind really. What did they matter? I had him back...to lose him now was to lose him forever.
"I am so sorry, Hikari...I didn't mean...I don't"I blubbered, unable to get my thoughts strait,"....Forgive me please..."
He relaxed suddenly beneath me, his eyes staring up at me with surprise, anguish, and many other emotions too deep to ever be completely unraveled. His breathing slowed beneath me, I realized suddenly that his lips were inches from my own...so close..
"B-bakure...did....you get him?"A voice I recognized as Anzu's gasped out.
Beneath me I could feel the abrupt change in my Abiou's manner. Those beautiful innocence chocolate orbs clouded suddenly with tears, his breath becoming erratic as he stared up at me brokenly. With surprising strength he shoved me off and toke off running agine. I remember how Anzu had wrapped her arms around me, trying to hold me back as she told me to let him go. That he'd come back eventually and if he didn't, who cared.
I'd shoved her off me and toke off after him, who cared...who cared?! I did damn it! Infront of me I saw a golden light flash and someone grab Ryou and push him against the wall. Bleached blonde hair flashed in the light along with a tan, perfectly honed body I recognized instantly as Malik.
I realized in an instant that he was using the power of the Sennen Rod to calm Ryou down. I saw my Hikari struggle in his grasp, a choked sob and whimper rippling through the night air before he fell motionless against the lavender-eyed figure. Malik had simply lifted him into his arms, walked over to me and began to walk toward Ryou's home....our home I mean.
And here I am. Leaning over his under-fed form so possively. I'd hurt him agine. I'd told myself that I would never hurt him again and yet I had. It seems that history does indeed repeat itself. Behind me I heard Malik sigh before walking out of the room. Good...I don't really feel like talking to him.....
Sure, you can usually have some real deep conversations and all....but i'm not really in the mood. Besides, he already called the Pharaoh and his Hikari about my Abiou's return...I mean, sure I'm not trying to steal the puzzle anymore but couldn't I have one night alone with my own Abiou to talk?
I mean...when he wakes up I know i'm going to have some major explaining to do...and besides...its time that he knows. Knows just how I feel for him. Its long past the time that I stop being such a friggen' coward and stand up, look him in the eye and tell him everything. I bite my lip nervously as a small moan erupted into the air.
I tensed and look timidly down as a pair of chocolate brown eyes slowly opened.
The expression that layed there made my breath catch in my throat.
Anger.
Hate.
Love.
Pain.
Anguish.
If looks could kill, though, i'd be six-feet under right now.
~Tonight we'll just pretend
We've been in love right from the start
Let's make love again
Like we never had a broken heart
Lets make love again
Like we never had a broken heart~
~Don't be afraid to close your eyes~
A.n.-Well, what didja all think? ^_^Please review:)I live off ya'all's reviews y'know!^_^hehe
Dissclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own this song: "Like You Never Had A Broken Heart" By Trisha Yearwood.
Dedication-Tohru, AnimeQueen, Lunatic Lisa (LL, Vampire Huntress DD, Chibi B, X.X. (OHHHHHHH), --NC--, Blue Diamond, Asian Angel 12, Yami-kun, and Renee The Rabid Squirell.^_^Domo Arigatou Minna for all your reviews!^_^
~Don't be afraid to hold me tight
You know I won't break in two
What we're doing here tonight
Sure beats what we're going through~
My heart thundered painfully in my chest as I stared down at the unmoving form of my Hikari. I longed to reach out and brush a tendril of that snowy white hair, but I couldn't. What right do I have to touch him? I'm a tainted bastard who he caught in bed with one of the biggest whores in Domino. Who asked for forgiveness when that was asking more then a saint could even give.
Forcing myself to move I kneed next to the bed, resting my hands of the worn quilt. Tear stains marred his too pale features, though it didn't detour from the soft beauty that had always been his...that would always be his. My mind did a flashback to the moment when he had appeared from the ring. His slightly longer silver hair falling heedlessly over his face, nearly hiding those glories brown orbs that shown a light unknown to many
Ra, the look on his face...the utter betrayle....the pain....it hurt me to know that once more I was responsible for my Hikari's pain. Though I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised. All I've ever brought to his life is misery. I love him though....I do....despite the fact that I always seem to hurt him in someway I do love him.
I was locked in the Ring many a millina ago for sins only the Pharaoh and Yami Malik know about. Though their memory's are somewhat dimmed, like my own, from the passage of time that passed while sealed away. From slipping slowly into madness from having only yourself and being swallowed by a darkness too deep for anyone to survive.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Malik stare in at me and Ryou. Shifting my gaze from the golden-haired Egyption back to my Abiou I layed a single hand against his snow white hair; half expecting Ra to strike me down for daring to touch. Nothing happened though. Closing my eyes I recalled what had happened earlier that night.
What I had done to damn myself yet agine, and to harm my chibi hikari yet again.
~We both loved and lost before
You know the sadness it can bring
Tonight let's close the door
And hold onto the nearest thing~
It had been dusk, yet another worthless day without my Hikari at my side had passed so that didn't really matter that much to me anymore. My eyes felt swollen, a quick glance in the mirror had shown me that they were puffy and red; my features pale and creased in appearance. Yet I couldn't truly bring myself to care.
What did it matter that I looked like hell when my Hikari had sealed himself away and the perfect little illusion I had created to make everything seem somewhat whole while I waited for his return was shattered. Maybe this was Ra's revenge on me for treating Ryou so cruelly in the beginning. Maybe, this was hell.
For without him that's exactly what my life was: hell. Then she had come in. With her big blue eyes staring over at me, her shoulder length nearly black hair falling to her shoulders as she walked into the room. She began to speak to me, touching my face gently as she did so. Her words passed right through me, I didn't even hear them really. I only saw her sudden gentleness.
Felt the feather light kindness that only one being in this entire hypocracy damned world had ever given me. I looked up at her, at Anzu, and for the briefest moment I saw sincerity in her gaze. Well, the almost sincerity I suppose. The sincerity that she wanted me back that is. She told me she had lost Yuugi to the Pharaoh and knew how I felt, in a way, about losing Ryou inside the Ring.
Even if we didn't have the same attachments that the Pharaoh and his hikari have. I nearly laughed aloud. She didn't know. Didn't know that my love for Ryou far went beyond being his protector and as redemption for how I treated him. It went farther then that. He is the other part of me, the lighter half of my Soul. Without him at my side I can never be complete...ever.
But, what I feel for Ryou went, perhaps, beyond even the bond a Hikari and Yami share. I love beyond words, beyond description. But in that moment, as I looked into her eyes...I saw something. It wasn't innocence, wasn't purity or anything like what I always saw and felt in Ryou....It wasn't even pity or anything, more like....empathy, a sense of understanding that I hadn't felt in a long time.
She'd put her arms so gently around me, laying her head against my chest in the same way that Ryou used to.....
~Lets keep hangin' on
So we won't fall apart
Lets make love tonight
Like we never had a broken heart~
I don't know what happened really after that. The next thing I knew her lips were pressed so firmly against mine. Her hands running down over my body with a restlessness only lust can provide.
It wasn't love.
It wasn't even lust for her.
It was barely even her gentle touch.
It was the fact that as I closed my eyes her soft touch became his. Became Ryou's. And for a single brief instance.......it wasn't Anzu who I was with.....it was my Abiou. It was his lips who rained kisses down over me, it was him who's body was against me. I could suddenly ignore all the major differences in his body and hers....and simply imagine that it was him with me. Not in the ring, but warm and alive, pulsating beneath me.
I could pretend with her a reality that had become a dream to me. And for that one split hours or so in time.....my dream was real. I had him laying in my arms. When it was over she cuddled against my body, her soft breathing tickling warmly my neck. The illusion by then had shattered and I felt sick to my stomach.
Sick with myself, sick with her, sick with this friggin' life that I'm forced to live. Sick with not having him here, beside me, in my arms...where he belongs. For a minute I actually longed for the days when he had first received the Ring. At least then he wouldn't be locked in his blasted soul room and I could be holding him and not this slut.
The mere thought made guilt and shame fall over me. Not at the thought of having him here with me and not that whore.....but that for a second I had wanted the days when he had been so afraid of me. When he had been so ....when I had hurt him so much...
Time passed over me as I fought with the sudden urge to throw the out of my arms and into the floor; And maybe throw myself out the window or something when I was finished throwing her out of the house and my bed for that matter. But I did nothing. I simply layed there, my arms motionless around her small frame.
Ryou. I loved him, yet I had just gone back to that slut who had tore us apart in the first place. How had I become so weak? How had I become such a fool? My stomach was churning with disgust, my pride and heart aching vibrantly at what I had done. I was waiting for his return so I could tell him exactly how I truly feel for him, yet here I was back in bed with her.
Abruptly I golden light shown from my Ring, flashing brightly through the darkness in the room. I could feel something i'd not felt in months, the bare feeling of my Hikari's soul against my own, nothing blocking off his thoughts and mine....nothing between the two of us anymore.
~Don't be afraid to close your eyes
Pretend i'm someone that you love
And I won't have to tell you lies
'Cause its not you i'm thinkin' of~
~Lets keep hangin' on
So we won't fall apart
Lets make love tonight
Like we never had a broken heart~
Anguish tore through me, of all the nights for the Ring to reject his presence it was now. The figure I had longed for all this time appeared not too far away from the bed on hi hands and knees. Slightly longer silver hair hung raggedly over his shoulders and I let in a gasp vaugly hearing Anzu do the same. Apparently the light had awoken her.
Chocolate brown eyes of the same intensity I remembered snapped open, tears burned in their depths."Hikari..."I breathed out the word, feeling the need to say it to prove I wasn't asleep and dreaming this. That I hadn't slipped so far into madness that I was imagining this.
He stood slowly, his eyes falling onto me as I searched him over. Feeling the need to memorize every detail about him, to imprint his image even further into my mind. Anzu wrapped an arm around me, pressing her nude body against my back. I didn't bother to shove her off, her presence in my mind already forgotten really.
Ryou backed away suddenly, a small cry escaping his lips as tears rushed down his face. What was wrong? Abruptly the realization hit me. I was in his bed, with Anzu.....naked. It didn't take a baka to figure out what had happened really. I started to stand up, trying to get out of Anzu's sudden death grip.
I pulled myself out of her grasp angrily, seeing the expression of utter hate and envy she shot at Ryou. She knew. Silently she was telling me that if I rose and went to him then anything we had would be gone. Like I really give a damn.
"Hikari...."I said, my voice sounding weak and shaky in my ears,"I'm....sorry...I didn't...I didn't think you'd really be back so soon...please...just...wait...I've so many....so many things to tell you!"
Words, useless words now. Ryou bolted from the room, heedless of the apologizes I yelled that this was only a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding? -Just- a misunderstanding? It was far more then that. Jumping off the bed I quickly grabbed my boxers off the floor and tugged them on along with my discarded pants.
Practically diving out of the room after my Hikari I raced after him out the door and into the darkness of the streets of Domino. The bright silver light of the moon lite my path, stinging my eyes slightly since they'd become rather unused to much light over the time I'd spent locked in Ryou's room.
I called after my Abiou to stop, though unsupriseingly he didn't. Pushing more speed into my run I began to gain on him. Ryou can be very fast when he wants to be, I knew that....however, I'm still superior to him in physical sense. Jumping forward I tackled him to the ground. Tears were rushing down my face though I paid them no mind really. What did they matter? I had him back...to lose him now was to lose him forever.
"I am so sorry, Hikari...I didn't mean...I don't"I blubbered, unable to get my thoughts strait,"....Forgive me please..."
He relaxed suddenly beneath me, his eyes staring up at me with surprise, anguish, and many other emotions too deep to ever be completely unraveled. His breathing slowed beneath me, I realized suddenly that his lips were inches from my own...so close..
"B-bakure...did....you get him?"A voice I recognized as Anzu's gasped out.
Beneath me I could feel the abrupt change in my Abiou's manner. Those beautiful innocence chocolate orbs clouded suddenly with tears, his breath becoming erratic as he stared up at me brokenly. With surprising strength he shoved me off and toke off running agine. I remember how Anzu had wrapped her arms around me, trying to hold me back as she told me to let him go. That he'd come back eventually and if he didn't, who cared.
I'd shoved her off me and toke off after him, who cared...who cared?! I did damn it! Infront of me I saw a golden light flash and someone grab Ryou and push him against the wall. Bleached blonde hair flashed in the light along with a tan, perfectly honed body I recognized instantly as Malik.
I realized in an instant that he was using the power of the Sennen Rod to calm Ryou down. I saw my Hikari struggle in his grasp, a choked sob and whimper rippling through the night air before he fell motionless against the lavender-eyed figure. Malik had simply lifted him into his arms, walked over to me and began to walk toward Ryou's home....our home I mean.
And here I am. Leaning over his under-fed form so possively. I'd hurt him agine. I'd told myself that I would never hurt him again and yet I had. It seems that history does indeed repeat itself. Behind me I heard Malik sigh before walking out of the room. Good...I don't really feel like talking to him.....
Sure, you can usually have some real deep conversations and all....but i'm not really in the mood. Besides, he already called the Pharaoh and his Hikari about my Abiou's return...I mean, sure I'm not trying to steal the puzzle anymore but couldn't I have one night alone with my own Abiou to talk?
I mean...when he wakes up I know i'm going to have some major explaining to do...and besides...its time that he knows. Knows just how I feel for him. Its long past the time that I stop being such a friggen' coward and stand up, look him in the eye and tell him everything. I bite my lip nervously as a small moan erupted into the air.
I tensed and look timidly down as a pair of chocolate brown eyes slowly opened.
The expression that layed there made my breath catch in my throat.
Anger.
Hate.
Love.
Pain.
Anguish.
If looks could kill, though, i'd be six-feet under right now.
~Tonight we'll just pretend
We've been in love right from the start
Let's make love again
Like we never had a broken heart
Lets make love again
Like we never had a broken heart~
~Don't be afraid to close your eyes~
A.n.-Well, what didja all think? ^_^Please review:)I live off ya'all's reviews y'know!^_^hehe