Title: Unspoken
Author: mikage-aya
Disclaimer: I owned nothing. Nothing
Summary: Late night musings
Author Notes: Sorry people. This is sort of a written on the spot kind of thing and English Is not my first language. I apologized for any mistakes and hope you all Enjoy this. Read and review please!!
The chemical formula for tears of sadness and tears of joy are the same..
I knew she was looking at me at night. I feel her eyes watching even as I drift into my uneasy slumber. Sometimes I wonder why she want to do this.
But deep in my heart, I understand.
And so I never chase her away, giving her a measure of comfort at the expense of intrusion into my privacy.
I love her so.
Sometimes, I want to go away. To cut myself away from those who call themselves my friends. Simply because I need the space.
And I don't think they understand.
I don't think they understand how hard it is to live with yourself once your hands shed blood. Blood of the innocent.
Despite what names they give, a hitokiri will always be a hitokiri.
As I said before, back in those times of the Bakumatsu, no one was wrong. Everyone fought for what they believe to be justice and truth.
Actually, the Ishin Shishi won only because this era chose them to be the inheritor. The world is changing and we need people of insight and foresight to see past the waves.
She is my pillar, you know. Simply because of who she is, and what she is.
A sword that protects, a sword that does not kill.
I wonder if I'm running to her for affirmation or approval. It is the nature of people to segregate into groups of similar thinking. I was no exception
Sometimes, I wonder if I love her. Love her the way I love Tomoe, loving her enough to let go. But I realize that that kind of love can only be given once. And I gave it to Tomoe already.
I love her, but I cannot let her go.
Because letting her go means letting myself go. It means the ideals that I fought for those past ten years were ashes and redemption is no more further away than east is to west.
I am selfish that way. But you have to be selfish when you have so little left.
And I only have my ideals left.
Without them, there is nothing to stop me from killing. There is nothing to stop me from destroying.
Words are pretty decorations, justifications are meant to be fabrications and good and evil will then cease to exist.
But I love her. I truly do. It hurts me to see her cry. To see her sad.
I vowed to protect her. To protect her as one would protect their ideals.
She knows my feelings towards her. That is why she persist in coming my room.
She can love me because she knows she do not need to fear me loving her back romantically. And I can love her because I know that says the same of her too.
We complete each other. In those unspoken hours.
The End
Author: mikage-aya
Disclaimer: I owned nothing. Nothing
Summary: Late night musings
Author Notes: Sorry people. This is sort of a written on the spot kind of thing and English Is not my first language. I apologized for any mistakes and hope you all Enjoy this. Read and review please!!
The chemical formula for tears of sadness and tears of joy are the same..
I knew she was looking at me at night. I feel her eyes watching even as I drift into my uneasy slumber. Sometimes I wonder why she want to do this.
But deep in my heart, I understand.
And so I never chase her away, giving her a measure of comfort at the expense of intrusion into my privacy.
I love her so.
Sometimes, I want to go away. To cut myself away from those who call themselves my friends. Simply because I need the space.
And I don't think they understand.
I don't think they understand how hard it is to live with yourself once your hands shed blood. Blood of the innocent.
Despite what names they give, a hitokiri will always be a hitokiri.
As I said before, back in those times of the Bakumatsu, no one was wrong. Everyone fought for what they believe to be justice and truth.
Actually, the Ishin Shishi won only because this era chose them to be the inheritor. The world is changing and we need people of insight and foresight to see past the waves.
She is my pillar, you know. Simply because of who she is, and what she is.
A sword that protects, a sword that does not kill.
I wonder if I'm running to her for affirmation or approval. It is the nature of people to segregate into groups of similar thinking. I was no exception
Sometimes, I wonder if I love her. Love her the way I love Tomoe, loving her enough to let go. But I realize that that kind of love can only be given once. And I gave it to Tomoe already.
I love her, but I cannot let her go.
Because letting her go means letting myself go. It means the ideals that I fought for those past ten years were ashes and redemption is no more further away than east is to west.
I am selfish that way. But you have to be selfish when you have so little left.
And I only have my ideals left.
Without them, there is nothing to stop me from killing. There is nothing to stop me from destroying.
Words are pretty decorations, justifications are meant to be fabrications and good and evil will then cease to exist.
But I love her. I truly do. It hurts me to see her cry. To see her sad.
I vowed to protect her. To protect her as one would protect their ideals.
She knows my feelings towards her. That is why she persist in coming my room.
She can love me because she knows she do not need to fear me loving her back romantically. And I can love her because I know that says the same of her too.
We complete each other. In those unspoken hours.
The End