A.n.-Ugh, I seriously have no idea where this came from...I put my hands on the keyboard meaning to start with Ryou-chan's p.o.v. and I ended up with Anzu's...I really can't stand her and yet I've written a chapter for her....feel free to shot me.....
Dissclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "In The End" by Linkin Park.
Dedication-Fyredra, Blue Demon, Renee The Rabbid Squirrel, *Blah*, Tohru, --NC--, Amy Bakura, Asian Angel 12, Vampire Huntress D, sliverlaugh1155, and SeaGroundSky. Arigatou for all of your reviews!!^_^ **tosses you all roses and chocolates and chibi dolls of Ryou, Bakura, Malik, and Yami Malik**^_^hehe
~Its starts with one thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time~
~All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day~
Its not fair.
He doesn't deserve him. He never has. How he became the Hikari of such a person as Bakura I'll never know. He's weak. He's pathetic. He has nothing to offer him. I on the other hand, have so much to give him. So much...and he doesn't see it. He's blinded by Ryou. I suppose he always will be.
But that doesn't make it right.
They simply.....don't fit. Sure, maybe Ryou is the other half of his soul.....the lighter half. The weak part that is. Ryou should have been the one sealed in the Ring back in Ancient Egypt. Not Bakura. I stared hard at my reflection in the mirror. I was beautiful, wasn't I? Wide, deep blue eyes, full kissable lips; perfect complexion and high cheekbones; my heart-shaped face framed lightly by black hair with shots of brown running through it.
Why, then, did he choose that baka over me?
I growled softly, snarling at my reflection as I walked out of the bathroom. As I walked down the halls I pulled my shirt front a little lower to reveal my ample assets as I peeked in through the door. Bakura was leaning over Ryou's unmoving form like some sort of avenging angel. Anger burned through out my soul.
Where had I gone wrong? Had I not made him happy, had I not brought him enough pleasure in my bed.....had I not been there for him when his weakling Hikari had sealed himself in the Ring? Couldn't he see that Ryou's being gone was a blessing, his return was merely to complicate Bakura's free existence here.
I felt my skin crawl suddenly and out of the corner of my eye I saw Malik walking toward me. He probably wanted to check in on Bakura. Hmp.
I turned from the sickening scene within the bedroom and made my way into the living room, shaking my hips a little more then necacary as I walked. My fury slowly leaked away to be replaced with a sort of resigned sadness.
It wasn't fair.
I deserve him.
I care about him, far more then his pathetic lighter half ever will.
Abruptly I heard a knock on the door. Confusion crinkling my brow I rose and opened the door. There standing half shrouded in the darkness of the night was Yami and Yuugi. Crimson eyes bore through me, seeming to read my very soul and from the frown that darkened the once Pharaoh's lips he was not happy with what lay there.
I glared at them, feeling a righteous anger fill me. Who is he to judge me? He stole Yuugi from me when he appeared to him, chances are that its his fault that Bakura may have fallen for his weakling other half. Yami brushed past me with a regal air, his hand clutching the slender one of Yuugi's with a possessive grasp.
Overbearing bastard.
My fall from grace came from him. Yuugi worshiped the very ground I walked upon before he came along. The only reason I got together with Bakrua was to make Yuugi jealous. My plan backfired horribly when Yami moved in and stole Yuugi's affection from me. A betrayle I will never ever forget.
~The clock ticks life away
Its so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the go right out the window
Trying to hold but didn't even know how
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried it all fell apart
What it mean to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when I tried~
I heard Malik enter the room, I felt my skin heat up at the sight of him. Bleached blonde hair gleamed in the light, amazing lavender eyes survaid the room as his musical voice entered the air. His every movement made my heart pound with attraction. The satisfaction I derived from being with his darker half was nothing, though, compared to being with Bakura. Nothing could top that. Ever.
I turned and walked out of the room, as I heard Malik begin to explain the events of Ryou's return. I'd rather not have to hear about that worthless worm any more then I have to. The pitiful thing, always pulling some sort of sympathy from everyone. Oh, i'm poor little Ryou who is a spineless little wuss. Hmp.
I peeked into the bedroom where Bakura kneels next to the bed where that whimp lays. From the angle i'm at I can see the tears that burn his eyes. How can he cry over him of all people? He's worthless, barely worth anyones time really. I turned away from the disgusting scene within and walked back into the living room.
Instantly I noticed the black looks I was from both Yuugi and Yami. Apparently they knew of the way i'd been trying to keep Bakura and Ryou apart. Couldn't they see i'd been doing the right thing? Can't they see that Ryou and Bakura just aren't....right. Its wrong. Its simply not meant to be.
Darkness and light. They don't go together, no matter what those two might wish to belive. Bakura and I on the other hand--its simply right. It fits. He and I belong together. Yami and Yuugi start to try and explain that Ryou loves Bakura and vice versa. That I shouldn't have tried to keep them apart....that I was standing in the way of destiny or some crap like that.
Whatever.
I spat a couple words of sneering cruelty at them, feeling a firm satisfaction as tears builded in Yuugi's eyes at my taunts. Still....I feel a pang of guilt at making him cry. I did love him once upon a time after all. But....what I felt for him is nothing compared to what I feel for Bakura. He and I are meant to be, why can't these snivelling fools see that?!
Yami yelled a few words of fury at me. Saying I was a worthless whore who wasn't worth anyones time and that sending me to the Shadow Realm would be too kind a punishment. His words of my being a whore struck home though. I wasn't a whore....was I? Sure, I used my body to tempt many. Used it to control a man with my womanly wiles; and had slept with many a different man to get what I wanted--but that didn't make me a whore.
How dare he try to threaten me anyway. I had stood by his and Yuugi's side during the entire quest to get Yuugi's Jii-chan back; and this is how they repay me? Screw them. Yelling a few very well chosen words about his 'manlinesss' and his stupid belief in the 'heart of the cards' and crap I tossed my head back and crossed my arms.
Malik suddenly ordered me to leave. Me? Take orders from him? Not in a million life-times. As sleekly beautiful as Malik is, his beauty doesn't compare to that of his Yami's. Not that was a man who knew how to please a woman. After saying just as much I suddenly saw the hardened eyes of Yami Malik glaring back at me.
The golden light of the Sennen Rod flashed and I suddenly found myself standing out on the cold doorstep of house. I banged and kicked at the door for a minute before finally giving up. For a reason I didn't understand I felt tears burn at my eyes. I walked around the house before coming to the window that would show the being of my affection leaning over his weakling other half.
Ryou had just awoken apparently, the room was silent. The two simply staring at each other. The room cackled with tension though. Wether it was romantic or anger I didn't know. I turned and walked away, making my way through the blanked out streets of Domino.
Where do I have to go now?
~I Tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter~
~One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard~
~In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you've fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far ~
Its not fair.
I've tried so hard...so very hard to get all that rightfully belonged to me only to have it ripped away. This wasn't how it was suppose to turn out. Not at all. I closed my eyes slightly as I walked into my house and up into my bedroom. Theres nothing left for me now. My so called 'friends' don't understand.
They wouldn't understand if I shove it into the god-damned faces and tried to force them to see. I walked into the bathroom and started to fill up the tub with warm water. I watched as the steam rose into the air from the nearly over warm water. If I can't have Him, then my life simply isn't worth living.
Nothings worth it without him. I tried so hard, didn't? Wasn't I caring enough? Wasn't I beautiful enough for him? I glanced up into the mirror. I hold no illusions about my own physical appearance. I'm hot, that it.
They've all fought with me for so long, each one taking for granted my very presence. The bastards. I had done my best though, to change that. Show them all just how indispensable I am to their pathetic little group of social outcasts. I'm the only thing that kept them all from getting the crap beat of them every freakin' day.
I'd known for a long time Yuugi's attraction to me. It was so very blindingly obvious. But, emotion is just a game. With Yuugi everything would be too real, I needed time to be free.....I waited too long though. Because then Yami came into the picture. Yami was Yuugi's full potential unleashed, his every action seductively perfect.
But, Yami was untouchable. That's what made me want him so bad. Then I'd seen it, the hungry look of affection reserved for only one person: Yuugi. It angered me. Yuugi was mine. He would always be only mine. I loved his lavishing compliments. The feel of utter affection I basked in each day. I saw it being threatened.
Then their was that weakling Ryou's Yami. Apparently he'd decided to make "peace" with the group he was more or less safe territory at the moment. The attraction I felt for Bakura then had been simple lust and a desire to make Yuugi jealous. To show him that if he didn't act now then I was going to be gone just like that.
And I wanted to see a little bit of war over me.
Theres no high like seeing two guys fight of me.
~Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to
In the end
You kept everything inside
And even though I tried it all fell apart
What it mean to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard~
My plan backfired though and Yuugi ended up with Yami. They were so close, so very close to each other. Nothing I did could possibly break them apart. The mere realization made me angry. I threw myself into the relationship with Bakura, holding onto the blind hope that Yuugi would return and everything would go back to the way it was before.
It didn't though.
I knew then that Ryou had feelings for Bakura. I didn't care then, and I don't give a damn now really. Bakura was mine the minute I layed my eyes on him with interest. Ryou was just kinda...there.
Then he did something to do us all a favor. He sealed himself away and Bakura fell into more or less a depression. It made it easier for me to get closer to him. I pulled him into me, doing my best to make myself into the dreams he desired. I'd of given him the stars to keep him with me and away from Ryou.
I knew he cared about Ryou more then just as an Abiou. And I refused to lose anther man I wanted to the other half of his soul. I couldn't lose. So I moved in to his house with him to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't think about Ryou too much. And for a long time, it seemed to work. It did work. Or at least I thought it did.
Bakura was great for physical or talkative moments. Though as the relationship drew on I began to lose a little bit of interest in him. I'd staked my claim and gotten all I wanted and life was becoming a little dull. So I spiced it up, throwing myself into sexual relationships with nearly every guy I knew.
I brought them pleasure and they in turn gave me gifts and permanent vows for any future problems I needed help in. Life was good. Then I'd finally decided to step up my game and try and tame Malik's Yami. Hell, if I could get one who's to say I couldn't have two.
~I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter~
Being with him was nearly as great as being with Bakura. Though Yami Malik had a thing for the rough style. Not that it mattered...a little pain only adds to the physical gratification. But then my little game went awry and I was caught red-handed in it. Kami-sama, the look of betrayle on his face.
It hurt.
For the first time it actually hurt me.
Maybe it was love, maybe it was lust......I just knew I had to have him back. Bakura was MINE damn it, I couldn't let him get away. Then everything would change agine. I couldn't take another change. Change had never been good to me after all. So I went to him, and reclaimed him as my own. It wasn't that hard.
A little bit of gentleness can do a lot really. I wanted him, so I toke him back. Using my years of an actress to an advantage I manipulated him into my bed once more. It was easy, and things were o.k. agine....or so I thought.
With Bakura things were better, life was sweeter and more fast. He was a drug I couldn't get enough of. Ryou was out of the picture so I had nothing to worry about. I thought there was no chance for that weakling to return. I was wrong though......Looking back maybe I was simply over-confident.
~I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know~
~I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know~
The pathetic little ingriet came back! Returned from the Ring. Spoiling my little world I had created. Everything I worked for fell apart the minute that white-haired freak came back.
I growled softly, grabbing a razor from near the sink edge. I undressed quickly and lowered myself into the warm water, my flesh burning at the abrupt change in temperature. I've lost him now. Ryou's back and theirs nothing I can do to change it. I would simply kill the little wuss, however that would be killing Bakura and I could never do that.
I loved Bakura, I think I do at least. I've never felt this way for any one before....ever. I chewed my bottom lip nervously, shifting the blade between my fingers.
I could end it all now and then they'd all be sorry. Then they'd all fall apart. I'm the only thing that keeps them together, the only thing that keeps them all safe. The only thing in their pathetic lives that matter. Without me, they're nothing. NOTHING!
I chuckled softly. So, this is the end. This is how it all turns out. Defiantly unexpected. Never the ending I thought I would have. Though, as long as they all suffer from my death I don't give a damn.
And they will suffer, oh yes they will. When i'm gone they're all going to see. They're all going to understand the lengths I went to. Sad though that such a body as mine will me marred by blood and be buried beneath the ground. A face and body like mine going to such waste...its kinda sad really.
Though, maybe if I'm gone Bakura will realize just how pathetic Ryou is and go back to his "punishments" he used to give Ryou. The little weakling needs a few good punches in the face and broken bones to teach him a lesson. Shame I won't be there to see the blood running through his hair and his cries of agony.
I'd of enjoyed that really.
Still, its better this way. Nothing matters now but the fact that they're all going to suffer from my death. I laughed insanely, loving the sound of my own voice vibrating off the walls. Yes, this is the right thing.
I made a quick slash across my wrists before making a long cut up the vein to my elbows. Blissful pain that was nearly like ecstasy filled be as I relaxed fully in the warm water. Watching the water begin to take a pinkish tint as the blood spread through it. I wish I could see the look on their faces when they find my body.
It'd be ever so amusing.
But this is the end. Shame that all my hard work was for nothing...it was still fun as hell though. I felt a few tears make their way down my cheeks. I really have fallen far haven't I? I'm committing suicide in a tub for goodness sake. Doubt and fear begin to cloud my thoughts as I jumped out the tub abruptly, feeling suddenly weak and dizzy. I ran out of the bathroom, fumbling with the lock furiously.
Its the end for me now maybe...but...i'm not...i'm not ready...yet...am I?
I stumbled out of the bathroom, tripping and falling onto the plush carpeting as I went. I layed there, my breathing slowly steadying from the harsh panic that it had been in a moment before. What did it matter? Why was I still fighting? Nothing mattered now. It was better to let go....right?
Yes, this is the smart thing. The right thing. Nothing matters now. That was my last thought as my thoughts fell into a blissful oblivion.
~I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall and lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter~
A.n.-Ugh, I can't belive I wrote that...But for some weird reason I felt that Anzu kinda needed her p.o.v. shown. I really hate her character, but I felt her small little tidbit of this story needed to be told....the next chappie will be in Ryou-chan's p.o.v. though I promise^_~
Dissclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "In The End" by Linkin Park.
Dedication-Fyredra, Blue Demon, Renee The Rabbid Squirrel, *Blah*, Tohru, --NC--, Amy Bakura, Asian Angel 12, Vampire Huntress D, sliverlaugh1155, and SeaGroundSky. Arigatou for all of your reviews!!^_^ **tosses you all roses and chocolates and chibi dolls of Ryou, Bakura, Malik, and Yami Malik**^_^hehe
~Its starts with one thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time~
~All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day~
Its not fair.
He doesn't deserve him. He never has. How he became the Hikari of such a person as Bakura I'll never know. He's weak. He's pathetic. He has nothing to offer him. I on the other hand, have so much to give him. So much...and he doesn't see it. He's blinded by Ryou. I suppose he always will be.
But that doesn't make it right.
They simply.....don't fit. Sure, maybe Ryou is the other half of his soul.....the lighter half. The weak part that is. Ryou should have been the one sealed in the Ring back in Ancient Egypt. Not Bakura. I stared hard at my reflection in the mirror. I was beautiful, wasn't I? Wide, deep blue eyes, full kissable lips; perfect complexion and high cheekbones; my heart-shaped face framed lightly by black hair with shots of brown running through it.
Why, then, did he choose that baka over me?
I growled softly, snarling at my reflection as I walked out of the bathroom. As I walked down the halls I pulled my shirt front a little lower to reveal my ample assets as I peeked in through the door. Bakura was leaning over Ryou's unmoving form like some sort of avenging angel. Anger burned through out my soul.
Where had I gone wrong? Had I not made him happy, had I not brought him enough pleasure in my bed.....had I not been there for him when his weakling Hikari had sealed himself in the Ring? Couldn't he see that Ryou's being gone was a blessing, his return was merely to complicate Bakura's free existence here.
I felt my skin crawl suddenly and out of the corner of my eye I saw Malik walking toward me. He probably wanted to check in on Bakura. Hmp.
I turned from the sickening scene within the bedroom and made my way into the living room, shaking my hips a little more then necacary as I walked. My fury slowly leaked away to be replaced with a sort of resigned sadness.
It wasn't fair.
I deserve him.
I care about him, far more then his pathetic lighter half ever will.
Abruptly I heard a knock on the door. Confusion crinkling my brow I rose and opened the door. There standing half shrouded in the darkness of the night was Yami and Yuugi. Crimson eyes bore through me, seeming to read my very soul and from the frown that darkened the once Pharaoh's lips he was not happy with what lay there.
I glared at them, feeling a righteous anger fill me. Who is he to judge me? He stole Yuugi from me when he appeared to him, chances are that its his fault that Bakura may have fallen for his weakling other half. Yami brushed past me with a regal air, his hand clutching the slender one of Yuugi's with a possessive grasp.
Overbearing bastard.
My fall from grace came from him. Yuugi worshiped the very ground I walked upon before he came along. The only reason I got together with Bakrua was to make Yuugi jealous. My plan backfired horribly when Yami moved in and stole Yuugi's affection from me. A betrayle I will never ever forget.
~The clock ticks life away
Its so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the go right out the window
Trying to hold but didn't even know how
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried it all fell apart
What it mean to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when I tried~
I heard Malik enter the room, I felt my skin heat up at the sight of him. Bleached blonde hair gleamed in the light, amazing lavender eyes survaid the room as his musical voice entered the air. His every movement made my heart pound with attraction. The satisfaction I derived from being with his darker half was nothing, though, compared to being with Bakura. Nothing could top that. Ever.
I turned and walked out of the room, as I heard Malik begin to explain the events of Ryou's return. I'd rather not have to hear about that worthless worm any more then I have to. The pitiful thing, always pulling some sort of sympathy from everyone. Oh, i'm poor little Ryou who is a spineless little wuss. Hmp.
I peeked into the bedroom where Bakura kneels next to the bed where that whimp lays. From the angle i'm at I can see the tears that burn his eyes. How can he cry over him of all people? He's worthless, barely worth anyones time really. I turned away from the disgusting scene within and walked back into the living room.
Instantly I noticed the black looks I was from both Yuugi and Yami. Apparently they knew of the way i'd been trying to keep Bakura and Ryou apart. Couldn't they see i'd been doing the right thing? Can't they see that Ryou and Bakura just aren't....right. Its wrong. Its simply not meant to be.
Darkness and light. They don't go together, no matter what those two might wish to belive. Bakura and I on the other hand--its simply right. It fits. He and I belong together. Yami and Yuugi start to try and explain that Ryou loves Bakura and vice versa. That I shouldn't have tried to keep them apart....that I was standing in the way of destiny or some crap like that.
Whatever.
I spat a couple words of sneering cruelty at them, feeling a firm satisfaction as tears builded in Yuugi's eyes at my taunts. Still....I feel a pang of guilt at making him cry. I did love him once upon a time after all. But....what I felt for him is nothing compared to what I feel for Bakura. He and I are meant to be, why can't these snivelling fools see that?!
Yami yelled a few words of fury at me. Saying I was a worthless whore who wasn't worth anyones time and that sending me to the Shadow Realm would be too kind a punishment. His words of my being a whore struck home though. I wasn't a whore....was I? Sure, I used my body to tempt many. Used it to control a man with my womanly wiles; and had slept with many a different man to get what I wanted--but that didn't make me a whore.
How dare he try to threaten me anyway. I had stood by his and Yuugi's side during the entire quest to get Yuugi's Jii-chan back; and this is how they repay me? Screw them. Yelling a few very well chosen words about his 'manlinesss' and his stupid belief in the 'heart of the cards' and crap I tossed my head back and crossed my arms.
Malik suddenly ordered me to leave. Me? Take orders from him? Not in a million life-times. As sleekly beautiful as Malik is, his beauty doesn't compare to that of his Yami's. Not that was a man who knew how to please a woman. After saying just as much I suddenly saw the hardened eyes of Yami Malik glaring back at me.
The golden light of the Sennen Rod flashed and I suddenly found myself standing out on the cold doorstep of house. I banged and kicked at the door for a minute before finally giving up. For a reason I didn't understand I felt tears burn at my eyes. I walked around the house before coming to the window that would show the being of my affection leaning over his weakling other half.
Ryou had just awoken apparently, the room was silent. The two simply staring at each other. The room cackled with tension though. Wether it was romantic or anger I didn't know. I turned and walked away, making my way through the blanked out streets of Domino.
Where do I have to go now?
~I Tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter~
~One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard~
~In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you've fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far ~
Its not fair.
I've tried so hard...so very hard to get all that rightfully belonged to me only to have it ripped away. This wasn't how it was suppose to turn out. Not at all. I closed my eyes slightly as I walked into my house and up into my bedroom. Theres nothing left for me now. My so called 'friends' don't understand.
They wouldn't understand if I shove it into the god-damned faces and tried to force them to see. I walked into the bathroom and started to fill up the tub with warm water. I watched as the steam rose into the air from the nearly over warm water. If I can't have Him, then my life simply isn't worth living.
Nothings worth it without him. I tried so hard, didn't? Wasn't I caring enough? Wasn't I beautiful enough for him? I glanced up into the mirror. I hold no illusions about my own physical appearance. I'm hot, that it.
They've all fought with me for so long, each one taking for granted my very presence. The bastards. I had done my best though, to change that. Show them all just how indispensable I am to their pathetic little group of social outcasts. I'm the only thing that kept them all from getting the crap beat of them every freakin' day.
I'd known for a long time Yuugi's attraction to me. It was so very blindingly obvious. But, emotion is just a game. With Yuugi everything would be too real, I needed time to be free.....I waited too long though. Because then Yami came into the picture. Yami was Yuugi's full potential unleashed, his every action seductively perfect.
But, Yami was untouchable. That's what made me want him so bad. Then I'd seen it, the hungry look of affection reserved for only one person: Yuugi. It angered me. Yuugi was mine. He would always be only mine. I loved his lavishing compliments. The feel of utter affection I basked in each day. I saw it being threatened.
Then their was that weakling Ryou's Yami. Apparently he'd decided to make "peace" with the group he was more or less safe territory at the moment. The attraction I felt for Bakura then had been simple lust and a desire to make Yuugi jealous. To show him that if he didn't act now then I was going to be gone just like that.
And I wanted to see a little bit of war over me.
Theres no high like seeing two guys fight of me.
~Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to
In the end
You kept everything inside
And even though I tried it all fell apart
What it mean to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard~
My plan backfired though and Yuugi ended up with Yami. They were so close, so very close to each other. Nothing I did could possibly break them apart. The mere realization made me angry. I threw myself into the relationship with Bakura, holding onto the blind hope that Yuugi would return and everything would go back to the way it was before.
It didn't though.
I knew then that Ryou had feelings for Bakura. I didn't care then, and I don't give a damn now really. Bakura was mine the minute I layed my eyes on him with interest. Ryou was just kinda...there.
Then he did something to do us all a favor. He sealed himself away and Bakura fell into more or less a depression. It made it easier for me to get closer to him. I pulled him into me, doing my best to make myself into the dreams he desired. I'd of given him the stars to keep him with me and away from Ryou.
I knew he cared about Ryou more then just as an Abiou. And I refused to lose anther man I wanted to the other half of his soul. I couldn't lose. So I moved in to his house with him to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't think about Ryou too much. And for a long time, it seemed to work. It did work. Or at least I thought it did.
Bakura was great for physical or talkative moments. Though as the relationship drew on I began to lose a little bit of interest in him. I'd staked my claim and gotten all I wanted and life was becoming a little dull. So I spiced it up, throwing myself into sexual relationships with nearly every guy I knew.
I brought them pleasure and they in turn gave me gifts and permanent vows for any future problems I needed help in. Life was good. Then I'd finally decided to step up my game and try and tame Malik's Yami. Hell, if I could get one who's to say I couldn't have two.
~I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter~
Being with him was nearly as great as being with Bakura. Though Yami Malik had a thing for the rough style. Not that it mattered...a little pain only adds to the physical gratification. But then my little game went awry and I was caught red-handed in it. Kami-sama, the look of betrayle on his face.
It hurt.
For the first time it actually hurt me.
Maybe it was love, maybe it was lust......I just knew I had to have him back. Bakura was MINE damn it, I couldn't let him get away. Then everything would change agine. I couldn't take another change. Change had never been good to me after all. So I went to him, and reclaimed him as my own. It wasn't that hard.
A little bit of gentleness can do a lot really. I wanted him, so I toke him back. Using my years of an actress to an advantage I manipulated him into my bed once more. It was easy, and things were o.k. agine....or so I thought.
With Bakura things were better, life was sweeter and more fast. He was a drug I couldn't get enough of. Ryou was out of the picture so I had nothing to worry about. I thought there was no chance for that weakling to return. I was wrong though......Looking back maybe I was simply over-confident.
~I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know~
~I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know~
The pathetic little ingriet came back! Returned from the Ring. Spoiling my little world I had created. Everything I worked for fell apart the minute that white-haired freak came back.
I growled softly, grabbing a razor from near the sink edge. I undressed quickly and lowered myself into the warm water, my flesh burning at the abrupt change in temperature. I've lost him now. Ryou's back and theirs nothing I can do to change it. I would simply kill the little wuss, however that would be killing Bakura and I could never do that.
I loved Bakura, I think I do at least. I've never felt this way for any one before....ever. I chewed my bottom lip nervously, shifting the blade between my fingers.
I could end it all now and then they'd all be sorry. Then they'd all fall apart. I'm the only thing that keeps them together, the only thing that keeps them all safe. The only thing in their pathetic lives that matter. Without me, they're nothing. NOTHING!
I chuckled softly. So, this is the end. This is how it all turns out. Defiantly unexpected. Never the ending I thought I would have. Though, as long as they all suffer from my death I don't give a damn.
And they will suffer, oh yes they will. When i'm gone they're all going to see. They're all going to understand the lengths I went to. Sad though that such a body as mine will me marred by blood and be buried beneath the ground. A face and body like mine going to such waste...its kinda sad really.
Though, maybe if I'm gone Bakura will realize just how pathetic Ryou is and go back to his "punishments" he used to give Ryou. The little weakling needs a few good punches in the face and broken bones to teach him a lesson. Shame I won't be there to see the blood running through his hair and his cries of agony.
I'd of enjoyed that really.
Still, its better this way. Nothing matters now but the fact that they're all going to suffer from my death. I laughed insanely, loving the sound of my own voice vibrating off the walls. Yes, this is the right thing.
I made a quick slash across my wrists before making a long cut up the vein to my elbows. Blissful pain that was nearly like ecstasy filled be as I relaxed fully in the warm water. Watching the water begin to take a pinkish tint as the blood spread through it. I wish I could see the look on their faces when they find my body.
It'd be ever so amusing.
But this is the end. Shame that all my hard work was for nothing...it was still fun as hell though. I felt a few tears make their way down my cheeks. I really have fallen far haven't I? I'm committing suicide in a tub for goodness sake. Doubt and fear begin to cloud my thoughts as I jumped out the tub abruptly, feeling suddenly weak and dizzy. I ran out of the bathroom, fumbling with the lock furiously.
Its the end for me now maybe...but...i'm not...i'm not ready...yet...am I?
I stumbled out of the bathroom, tripping and falling onto the plush carpeting as I went. I layed there, my breathing slowly steadying from the harsh panic that it had been in a moment before. What did it matter? Why was I still fighting? Nothing mattered now. It was better to let go....right?
Yes, this is the smart thing. The right thing. Nothing matters now. That was my last thought as my thoughts fell into a blissful oblivion.
~I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall and lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter~
A.n.-Ugh, I can't belive I wrote that...But for some weird reason I felt that Anzu kinda needed her p.o.v. shown. I really hate her character, but I felt her small little tidbit of this story needed to be told....the next chappie will be in Ryou-chan's p.o.v. though I promise^_~