Harry Potter and the Holy Grail
We're skipping to the knight part cuz that's weally, weally funny!
Pansy: (walking away from Harry with nose in the air)
Harry: Come on Pansy! Puh-lease! I need you for my quest!
Pansy: (quickly turns around) You are not a king and you are not on a quest. This is a low-budget story and my paying wages are as bad as a Chinese railroad worker's!
Yellow: Okay, first of all, this is a film, and second.
Red: We pay her that much?!
Yellow: Shutup Red! (to readers) Sorry, we pay her.uh.$10 an hour!
Red: Isn't that our budget money?
Yellow: Shutup Red! (to readers) Yes, she's well paid and fed! (to Pansy) And you better not say anything otherwise!
Pansy: Well, I don't care because I quit!
Yellow: You can't quit!
Pansy: And why not?
Yellow: Because you uh.
Red: Signed the contract!
Pansy: I didn't sign any contract!
Red: Yes you did!
Pansy: Then show me.
Yellow: Show her the contract, Red.
Red: Huh?
Yellow: (elbows Red and grits teeth at her) Show her the contract, Red!
Red: Uh.oh yes! Wait, I have it.(reaches in pockets and grabs pen and paper and scribbles:
"I Pansie wont kwit and stuf
cuz I luv red and yello.
-Pansie"
Red: Here it is!
Pansy: You just wrote that!
Red: No I didn't.
Pansy: Yes, yes you did! That's your handwriting!
Red: (looks at paper) Nope, no. That's not mine. Yellow? Did you write that?
Yellow: No, I have neat handwriting.
Pansy: My name's not spelled right! Nothing's spelled right!
Yellow: What?! (grabs paper) Red, can I talk to you?
Red: Sure.
Yellow: I don't know how you got into Honors English, but your spelling.generally.SUCKS!
Red: Yeah.I know.
Yellow: Okay.Plan B?
Red: What's Plan B?
Yellow: (whispers to Red)
Red: Oh! I like Plan B!
Yellow: (runs forward and handcuffs Harry and Pansy together) Oh no! You have become a two-headed creature!
Harry: (completely falling for it) Oh no!
Pansy: You just handcuffed us together!
Red: Or so it seems!
Pansy: Look! You did! (shakes handcuffs)
Yellow: Well, Red, do you know what that means?
Red: Yes.oh wait.no.
Yellow: (rolls eyes) It means they have to agree on things!
Red: Oh yes! I knew that!
Yellow: Now, Pansy, do you want to quit?
Pansy: I think we have established that.
Yellow: Harry, do you want to quit?
Harry: Uh.
Red: (holds up sign that says:)
"Nowe!"
Harry: (sounds it out) Nnnnn.No!
Yellow: Very good! Sorry Pansy, you can't quit!
Pansy: Then I demand a raise!
Red: Do you want bubblegum?
Pansy: No! I want a raise!
Red: (sticks gum in Pansy's mouth and tapes her mouth shut) There! You have bubblegum! Shutup!
Yellow: Now, before we get side tracked again.(glares at Pansy) let's continue!
Red: But I want bubblegum too!
Yellow: SHUTUP!
Red: (gasp) You said the Sh-word!
Yellow: (whacks Red on the head repeatedly with a brick) Why won't you die?
Red: I'm immune!
Pansy:: Mmmhmf! Mmmfhm! Mmm!
Yellow: What'd she say?
Red: (who has seen Kenny on South Park oh so many times replies) She said, "I'm calling my lawyer!"
Harry: Uh.can we go on with the story?
Yellow: Yes Harry! Now act!
Pansy: Mmfmh! Mmfph! Mmh!
Harry: No, actually, I prefer Papaya over peach-lemon, but that's beside the point, let's go!
Neville: I am the "tin-foil" knight!
Yellow: Yes, we didn't have enough money to but Neville a real black suit, so we wrapped him in tin foil.
Red: My mommy didn't like that.
Harry: Hey! You already killed the guy!
Neville: Well, you took so long, and.I got bored.
Harry: Great! You just blew the whole fight scene!
Neville: Sorry.
Pansy:: Ooeeoo!
Neville What'd she say?
Harry: (lifts tape off Pansy's mouth)
Pansy: (lifts wand) Crucio!
Neville: (twitching on the ground in pain) Ahhh!
Harry: Good job! Come Pansy!
Pansy: Shutup.(trails behind Harry)
We're skipping to the knight part cuz that's weally, weally funny!
Pansy: (walking away from Harry with nose in the air)
Harry: Come on Pansy! Puh-lease! I need you for my quest!
Pansy: (quickly turns around) You are not a king and you are not on a quest. This is a low-budget story and my paying wages are as bad as a Chinese railroad worker's!
Yellow: Okay, first of all, this is a film, and second.
Red: We pay her that much?!
Yellow: Shutup Red! (to readers) Sorry, we pay her.uh.$10 an hour!
Red: Isn't that our budget money?
Yellow: Shutup Red! (to readers) Yes, she's well paid and fed! (to Pansy) And you better not say anything otherwise!
Pansy: Well, I don't care because I quit!
Yellow: You can't quit!
Pansy: And why not?
Yellow: Because you uh.
Red: Signed the contract!
Pansy: I didn't sign any contract!
Red: Yes you did!
Pansy: Then show me.
Yellow: Show her the contract, Red.
Red: Huh?
Yellow: (elbows Red and grits teeth at her) Show her the contract, Red!
Red: Uh.oh yes! Wait, I have it.(reaches in pockets and grabs pen and paper and scribbles:
"I Pansie wont kwit and stuf
cuz I luv red and yello.
-Pansie"
Red: Here it is!
Pansy: You just wrote that!
Red: No I didn't.
Pansy: Yes, yes you did! That's your handwriting!
Red: (looks at paper) Nope, no. That's not mine. Yellow? Did you write that?
Yellow: No, I have neat handwriting.
Pansy: My name's not spelled right! Nothing's spelled right!
Yellow: What?! (grabs paper) Red, can I talk to you?
Red: Sure.
Yellow: I don't know how you got into Honors English, but your spelling.generally.SUCKS!
Red: Yeah.I know.
Yellow: Okay.Plan B?
Red: What's Plan B?
Yellow: (whispers to Red)
Red: Oh! I like Plan B!
Yellow: (runs forward and handcuffs Harry and Pansy together) Oh no! You have become a two-headed creature!
Harry: (completely falling for it) Oh no!
Pansy: You just handcuffed us together!
Red: Or so it seems!
Pansy: Look! You did! (shakes handcuffs)
Yellow: Well, Red, do you know what that means?
Red: Yes.oh wait.no.
Yellow: (rolls eyes) It means they have to agree on things!
Red: Oh yes! I knew that!
Yellow: Now, Pansy, do you want to quit?
Pansy: I think we have established that.
Yellow: Harry, do you want to quit?
Harry: Uh.
Red: (holds up sign that says:)
"Nowe!"
Harry: (sounds it out) Nnnnn.No!
Yellow: Very good! Sorry Pansy, you can't quit!
Pansy: Then I demand a raise!
Red: Do you want bubblegum?
Pansy: No! I want a raise!
Red: (sticks gum in Pansy's mouth and tapes her mouth shut) There! You have bubblegum! Shutup!
Yellow: Now, before we get side tracked again.(glares at Pansy) let's continue!
Red: But I want bubblegum too!
Yellow: SHUTUP!
Red: (gasp) You said the Sh-word!
Yellow: (whacks Red on the head repeatedly with a brick) Why won't you die?
Red: I'm immune!
Pansy:: Mmmhmf! Mmmfhm! Mmm!
Yellow: What'd she say?
Red: (who has seen Kenny on South Park oh so many times replies) She said, "I'm calling my lawyer!"
Harry: Uh.can we go on with the story?
Yellow: Yes Harry! Now act!
Pansy: Mmfmh! Mmfph! Mmh!
Harry: No, actually, I prefer Papaya over peach-lemon, but that's beside the point, let's go!
Neville: I am the "tin-foil" knight!
Yellow: Yes, we didn't have enough money to but Neville a real black suit, so we wrapped him in tin foil.
Red: My mommy didn't like that.
Harry: Hey! You already killed the guy!
Neville: Well, you took so long, and.I got bored.
Harry: Great! You just blew the whole fight scene!
Neville: Sorry.
Pansy:: Ooeeoo!
Neville What'd she say?
Harry: (lifts tape off Pansy's mouth)
Pansy: (lifts wand) Crucio!
Neville: (twitching on the ground in pain) Ahhh!
Harry: Good job! Come Pansy!
Pansy: Shutup.(trails behind Harry)