Harry Potter and the Holy Grail
Yellow: What happens in this scene?
Red: Oh! Oh! It's Dennis!
Yellow: No, no, Pansy took too long, let's go to the witch part.
Red: But I like Dennis.
Yellow: Go sit in your corner, Red, and shutup!
Red: Ah.(Red walks away)
Yellow: Oh poo.I like Dennis too.
The Little Racist Town
Red: Gawd, I hate that town!
Crowd of People: It's a muggle! A muggle! Burn 'im! Burn 'im!
Hagrid: (playing Stoopid Racist Villager #1) We found a muggle, may we burn 'im?
Hermione: (playing Bedivere) How do you know he's a muggle?
Hagrid: (looks at script) Er.'e looks like one!
Neville: (Now taken out of Crucio curse to be a muggle) Wait,I'm not a muggle!
Hermione: But you are dressed as one.
Neville: What? They dressed me as this!
Hermione: Did you dress him as this?
Hagrid: Noooo.
Filch: (playing Stoopid Racist Villager #2) Naw.
Hermione: Well then! You're a muggle!
Neville: No! No really! I'm not!
Hermione: Then simply fix.these glasses! (holds out glasses)
Crowd: (gasps) Gasp!
Neville: Oculus Reparo!
(nothing happens)
Filch: 'E's a muggle!
Neville: Wait! This is not my wand. It's a stick!
Hagrid: Noooo.
Filch: Naw.
Hermione: Well, there are other ways of telling if he's a muggle.
Hagrid: Really? What?
Filch: Yes, tell us!
Hermione: What do you do with muggles?
Crowd: Burn 'em!
Hermione: And what do you burn apart from muggles?
(pause) cricket cricket cricket
Filch: Wood?
Hermione: Good.
Hagrid: Oh yeah, of course!
Hermione: And how do you burn the wood?
Hagrid: Yer pour vodka on it!
Hermione: Yes! And what else do you do with vodka?
Hagrid: Drink it!
Hermione: And who drinks vodka? (to Hagrid) Apart from you?
Filch: Russians!
Hermione: Yes and since all Russians are drunken witches and wizards unless they are muggles, that means.
Hagrid: So if 'e drinks the vodka, it means 'e's Russian.
Hermione: And therefore.?
Hagrid: A drunk?
Hermione: No, a witch! (shoves vodka bottle in Neville's mouth)
Neville: No! I'm not drinking that! Ew!
Red: Good boy that Neville!
Neville: I'm not even Russian! I'm Polish and Dutch!
Red: I'm confused.
Yellow: Let me get this straight.He's a wizard if he drinks the vodka, but only if he's Russian.What if he's not Russian?
Red: Then he's screwed.
Filch: Wait, I'm Russian and I don't drink.
Hagrid: Burn 'em all!
Yellow: Okay everyone! Shutup! You're all racist!
(everyone stops)
Yellow: I'm the director! Now I say.Hagrid you're a stoopid drunk, Neville is cool, Filch is cool, don't kill them! Hermione, you're bad at muggle stuff, and this isn't working so we're just moving on! Red! Be the narrator! I'm going on a break! Ugh!
Red: Yes! My turn as narrator! Ahem! (clears throat) After the villagers tried to burn Neville, Harry took him on his quest. (Neville no is playing Sir Robin) Harry also chose Hermione (Sir Bedevere), Ron (Sir Galahad), and Malfoy (Sir Lancelot).
Yellow: What happens in this scene?
Red: Oh! Oh! It's Dennis!
Yellow: No, no, Pansy took too long, let's go to the witch part.
Red: But I like Dennis.
Yellow: Go sit in your corner, Red, and shutup!
Red: Ah.(Red walks away)
Yellow: Oh poo.I like Dennis too.
The Little Racist Town
Red: Gawd, I hate that town!
Crowd of People: It's a muggle! A muggle! Burn 'im! Burn 'im!
Hagrid: (playing Stoopid Racist Villager #1) We found a muggle, may we burn 'im?
Hermione: (playing Bedivere) How do you know he's a muggle?
Hagrid: (looks at script) Er.'e looks like one!
Neville: (Now taken out of Crucio curse to be a muggle) Wait,I'm not a muggle!
Hermione: But you are dressed as one.
Neville: What? They dressed me as this!
Hermione: Did you dress him as this?
Hagrid: Noooo.
Filch: (playing Stoopid Racist Villager #2) Naw.
Hermione: Well then! You're a muggle!
Neville: No! No really! I'm not!
Hermione: Then simply fix.these glasses! (holds out glasses)
Crowd: (gasps) Gasp!
Neville: Oculus Reparo!
(nothing happens)
Filch: 'E's a muggle!
Neville: Wait! This is not my wand. It's a stick!
Hagrid: Noooo.
Filch: Naw.
Hermione: Well, there are other ways of telling if he's a muggle.
Hagrid: Really? What?
Filch: Yes, tell us!
Hermione: What do you do with muggles?
Crowd: Burn 'em!
Hermione: And what do you burn apart from muggles?
(pause) cricket cricket cricket
Filch: Wood?
Hermione: Good.
Hagrid: Oh yeah, of course!
Hermione: And how do you burn the wood?
Hagrid: Yer pour vodka on it!
Hermione: Yes! And what else do you do with vodka?
Hagrid: Drink it!
Hermione: And who drinks vodka? (to Hagrid) Apart from you?
Filch: Russians!
Hermione: Yes and since all Russians are drunken witches and wizards unless they are muggles, that means.
Hagrid: So if 'e drinks the vodka, it means 'e's Russian.
Hermione: And therefore.?
Hagrid: A drunk?
Hermione: No, a witch! (shoves vodka bottle in Neville's mouth)
Neville: No! I'm not drinking that! Ew!
Red: Good boy that Neville!
Neville: I'm not even Russian! I'm Polish and Dutch!
Red: I'm confused.
Yellow: Let me get this straight.He's a wizard if he drinks the vodka, but only if he's Russian.What if he's not Russian?
Red: Then he's screwed.
Filch: Wait, I'm Russian and I don't drink.
Hagrid: Burn 'em all!
Yellow: Okay everyone! Shutup! You're all racist!
(everyone stops)
Yellow: I'm the director! Now I say.Hagrid you're a stoopid drunk, Neville is cool, Filch is cool, don't kill them! Hermione, you're bad at muggle stuff, and this isn't working so we're just moving on! Red! Be the narrator! I'm going on a break! Ugh!
Red: Yes! My turn as narrator! Ahem! (clears throat) After the villagers tried to burn Neville, Harry took him on his quest. (Neville no is playing Sir Robin) Harry also chose Hermione (Sir Bedevere), Ron (Sir Galahad), and Malfoy (Sir Lancelot).