Chapter six:
Confessions
Hey! This is Melfina Starwind...I just changed my name!
Enjoy!
Snape's homework had left us in Gryffindor common room for most of our afternoon. Ron rushed through it, hoping to just get the answers right out of luck. I kept my eyes on my homework while my mind had wondered off most of the time. Every so often I would look up and see what Harry was up to.
These feelings that stirred up the day before scared me. Then the events of the morning frightened me more. These things couldn't be helped, they just couldn't. The feelings that had stirred inside me needed to be expressed, but I didn't know when to…or how to for that matter. I was afraid that Harry wouldn't feel the same…or did he?
"Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yes?" I replied, my voice my pinched with fear.
"What did you get for number ten?" he said, "'Two uses for monkey feet in potions of wizard medicine'."
"Oh…" I muttered and looked down at my sheet of parchment. "Um, cure for forgetfulness and when mixed with monk-foot root it becomes a healer."
"Thanks," he whispered.
I nodded and kept my head down facing my paper. I felt the warmth of a tear on my cheek, gliding down ever so slowly.
"No problem," I said and whipped the tear away.
'Listen to yourself Hermione! You're crying for what reason?' I asked myself. My reply was, 'I don't know…I just am.'
My tear had no true reason for crying, just like I had no chance to sum up my courage to tell him how I felt. Some things were better left unsaid…better not to scar any one. I was going to be seventeen not ten and my birthday was less then two weeks away.
I stood up and gathered my books and made my way to the dormitory. I cast my eye on Harry who watched me leave. I looked down and felt foolish for avoiding him for no true reason.
"Good night, Harry," I said.
"Hermione, is there something wrong?" he asked when I spoke.
"Me? Nothing!" I replied too quickly.
"Don't lie. It's just not something you do well; you are a terrible liar, Hermione," Harry said and I heard him walk over to me.
"I'm telling you, Harry, there is nothing wrong. If there was something wrong I'd tell you…unless it was personal," I said.
Harry put a hand on my shoulder, "It can't be that personal that you just started to cry and not talk to me like you normally do, Hermione."
"How do I normally talk to you?" I asked.
"Like a friend, now you talk to me like you are nervous when you talk…like some fan of mine," he replied, "come on, I know you better than that."
I sighed and turned around, "Maybe, just maybe I cannot see you the way I normally do."
I had done it…I had let out more than I should have. I bit my lower lip nervously, not wanting to let out anymore information. I was not willing to say anything that may reveal my true feelings to him. Harry was right, I couldn't lie…I was too predictable. I couldn't hide anything from my friends, not willingly or unwillingly, somehow they would be able to find me out.
"How do you see me then?" he asked quietly.
"Depends," I replied. "I want to know, do you see me as just a friend?"
He was quiet for a moment. "'Just as a friend'?" he repeated with confusion.
"Do you see me just as a friend, like a sister, or…or more then that?" I explained tripping over my own words a little.
Harry was quiet again. He looked as if he didn't know what to say or make of my question.
"Never mind," I said and started back off to the stairs before I went up the stairs I turned around, "Just remember this Harry…I love you no matter what happens here, even if Voldemort came and tried to kill you again."
With that I went up the stairs knowing too well that I had revealed to him that I was in love with him. I knew that it wasn't going to be long before Harry asked me what I had meant in saying what I had. That's when I'd tell him the truth. I'd tell him everything from the start…question was…what was the start?
I sat on my bed thinking about what I would say to him…and what I should say to him. I herd a low mewing sound and felt something jumping onto my bed. It was Crookshanks; he was purring quite loudly and rubbed against me. I stroked his fur and sat thinking. I quickly changed my mind from thinking about Harry to thinking about that mysterious voice and what could have made the whole castle shake like it did.
A/N: So, far this is chapter six, but wait! it is not done (and yes I meant to do that with the "! lower case letters"...old fasioned thing). I'm sorry that this rook a long time and...yes I had changed my name, it was "Melfina Starwind" before.
Confessions
Hey! This is Melfina Starwind...I just changed my name!
Enjoy!
Snape's homework had left us in Gryffindor common room for most of our afternoon. Ron rushed through it, hoping to just get the answers right out of luck. I kept my eyes on my homework while my mind had wondered off most of the time. Every so often I would look up and see what Harry was up to.
These feelings that stirred up the day before scared me. Then the events of the morning frightened me more. These things couldn't be helped, they just couldn't. The feelings that had stirred inside me needed to be expressed, but I didn't know when to…or how to for that matter. I was afraid that Harry wouldn't feel the same…or did he?
"Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yes?" I replied, my voice my pinched with fear.
"What did you get for number ten?" he said, "'Two uses for monkey feet in potions of wizard medicine'."
"Oh…" I muttered and looked down at my sheet of parchment. "Um, cure for forgetfulness and when mixed with monk-foot root it becomes a healer."
"Thanks," he whispered.
I nodded and kept my head down facing my paper. I felt the warmth of a tear on my cheek, gliding down ever so slowly.
"No problem," I said and whipped the tear away.
'Listen to yourself Hermione! You're crying for what reason?' I asked myself. My reply was, 'I don't know…I just am.'
My tear had no true reason for crying, just like I had no chance to sum up my courage to tell him how I felt. Some things were better left unsaid…better not to scar any one. I was going to be seventeen not ten and my birthday was less then two weeks away.
I stood up and gathered my books and made my way to the dormitory. I cast my eye on Harry who watched me leave. I looked down and felt foolish for avoiding him for no true reason.
"Good night, Harry," I said.
"Hermione, is there something wrong?" he asked when I spoke.
"Me? Nothing!" I replied too quickly.
"Don't lie. It's just not something you do well; you are a terrible liar, Hermione," Harry said and I heard him walk over to me.
"I'm telling you, Harry, there is nothing wrong. If there was something wrong I'd tell you…unless it was personal," I said.
Harry put a hand on my shoulder, "It can't be that personal that you just started to cry and not talk to me like you normally do, Hermione."
"How do I normally talk to you?" I asked.
"Like a friend, now you talk to me like you are nervous when you talk…like some fan of mine," he replied, "come on, I know you better than that."
I sighed and turned around, "Maybe, just maybe I cannot see you the way I normally do."
I had done it…I had let out more than I should have. I bit my lower lip nervously, not wanting to let out anymore information. I was not willing to say anything that may reveal my true feelings to him. Harry was right, I couldn't lie…I was too predictable. I couldn't hide anything from my friends, not willingly or unwillingly, somehow they would be able to find me out.
"How do you see me then?" he asked quietly.
"Depends," I replied. "I want to know, do you see me as just a friend?"
He was quiet for a moment. "'Just as a friend'?" he repeated with confusion.
"Do you see me just as a friend, like a sister, or…or more then that?" I explained tripping over my own words a little.
Harry was quiet again. He looked as if he didn't know what to say or make of my question.
"Never mind," I said and started back off to the stairs before I went up the stairs I turned around, "Just remember this Harry…I love you no matter what happens here, even if Voldemort came and tried to kill you again."
With that I went up the stairs knowing too well that I had revealed to him that I was in love with him. I knew that it wasn't going to be long before Harry asked me what I had meant in saying what I had. That's when I'd tell him the truth. I'd tell him everything from the start…question was…what was the start?
I sat on my bed thinking about what I would say to him…and what I should say to him. I herd a low mewing sound and felt something jumping onto my bed. It was Crookshanks; he was purring quite loudly and rubbed against me. I stroked his fur and sat thinking. I quickly changed my mind from thinking about Harry to thinking about that mysterious voice and what could have made the whole castle shake like it did.
A/N: So, far this is chapter six, but wait! it is not done (and yes I meant to do that with the "! lower case letters"...old fasioned thing). I'm sorry that this rook a long time and...yes I had changed my name, it was "Melfina Starwind" before.