Chapter Four

When he rose the next morning, he went running, covering almost twenty five kilometers before he returned back to his house for breakfast.  He grabbed a fruit and nut breakfast bar and then began to dress himself.

First, he pulled on his cat suit, a tight leather fighting suit that allowed him full movement, but protected him from knives and physical weapons.  He then attached his belt and his shoulder and ankle holsters.  He placed a gun on each ankle, and a knife on the inside of each thigh.  On the outside of one he put a sword, his wand on the other.  He shrunk his staff, placing on his belt and then attached throwing knives, daggers and numerous potions to the belt.  He placed a gun in his shoulder holster and another wand in the other.  On top of that, he pulled white day-to-day robes that billowed and hid all the weaponry, but when in battle would allow easy access to the weapons.

He apparated to Dumbledore's office then, going straight through the anti-apparition wards that were supposed to be impenetrable, and sighed, wondering how this would all end and if he would ever be forgiven by his old friends.  Somehow, he doubted it.

"Headmaster," he nodded, "can I help you this morning?"

"The Order is meeting at lunch time, as you know, we cancelled the meeting last night."

"That's why I'm here," Harry said, "I believe it is time for my initiation, isn't it?  And you wanted to talk to me?"

"Sirius and Remus will be here shortly," Dumbledore said quietly, "we will talk when they arrive."

Harry nodded and leaned back in the chair unconcernedly, even though he was quailing inside.  He zoned out again, and his mind flowed away from the everyday world he normally inhabited, and in his meditation he began to deal with the emotions from the night before and his rejection by Sirius, who he had hoped for unconditional acceptance and love from, and Remus who had had hoped would understand.

A few minutes later, the door swung open and an angry Sirius stormed in, followed by a more passive Lupin, "What do you want Albus?" Sirius demanded, "I was enjoying my sleep this morning."

If he caught sight of Harry, Sirius made no comment, he took a seat on the opposite side of the room, his eyes fixed on Dumbledore.  Remus acknowledged Harry with a brief glance, and sat down beside Sirius who hadn't even looked towards Harry.  That hurt Harry more than he cared to admit, but he dismissed his emotions and turned to Dumbledore.

"I thought you might want to be privy to this discussion, is all," Dumbledore said calmly.  He turned to Harry, "before you can be initiated to the Order, Harry, I need some honest answers.  Is that alright?"

Harry inclined his head.

"Have you ever been a Death Eater, or fought for Dark outcomes?"

"I have never been a Death Eater.  I have done things which could be termed Dark," Harry said tonelessly.

"And what would those be?"

"I did things that could possibly have hurt others for personal gain.  I have never killed someone for personal gain and I have never used the three unforgiveables on another."

"I received your records last night, from Kruger.  You have one hundred and sixty-two offences.  Would you care to explain them?"

"Twenty five were for trying to contact my godfather," Harry said quietly, "I received three days in the chambers for each of them.  Fifty were for trying to escape, I was given physical labor after a week in the chambers for those, and the rest were for various offences that came down to my attempts to return to my home, here.  I took various punishments for those."

"And the Chambers were?"

Harry's temper flared, "You know damn well what the chambers are, Dumbledore, and I know what you're trying to do.  I don't appreciate you trying to manipulate me.  You might be almost six hundred, but I've lived more in my twenty five years than you have in your entire lifetime."

Remus blinked as he sensed much pent up anger being released but unfocused.  Sirius seemed to have tuned out to the conversation and was humming to himself quietly.  Dumbledore was staring hard at Harry.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," he said quietly, "The only remaining question is, when the Phoenix places you, will you accept your position without complaint?"

"Of course," Harry said simply, "like I have accepted everything else that I could not change, without a word."

"What do you mean by that?" Remus demanded suddenly.

Harry kept his eyes on Dumbledore, "I never wanted to be what I was made; I never wanted to be The Boy Who Lived, and I never wanted to have everyone just assume that I would be there to save their lives, there was a higher chance of me dying than there was of me saving their lives at the time that these assumptions were made.  I was one of the only people who ever accepted that and understood it.  You, perhaps, came close."

Remus nodded, appearing satisfied.  Harry shrugged to himself and looked at Dumbledore, "Can we get on with this?" he demanded, "I have work to do."

"Work?" Dumbledore asked, surprised.

"Yes, work.  As in, a job!" Harry said with a tinge of sarcasm.

There was a popping sound for a few minutes as over twenty people apparated into the room.  Harry didn't even look at them, he already knew who each one was: He was, after all, wearing his "Marauder Glasses" – a self-made invention, they looked like sunglasses but were actually an eye-size Marauder's map of the immediate area around Harry.

Dumbledore stood up after a moment, "As the Phoenix of the present day, I welcome you to the initiation of a new Phoenix member and the first meeting of the final phase in the battle against Lord Voldemort.

"After the judging of Harry James Potter, we will begin our meeting."

There was a startled shift, as the order members heard who the new member was, but when he stood up it was nothing to the number of wands that were pointed at him.  Sirius and Remus stood, too, and looked around at everyone, not saying a word.

Fawkes came flying in, and looked around, her golden brown eyes falling on Harry.  He bowed deeply to her, and she trilled to him,

"So, you are finally wanting to join the order…"

He inclined his head, "Yes, your majesty."

"And you wish to be judged."

"I do not wish for anything, your majesty.  I do only what is asked of me in a time of need, only what is necessary to help."

The phoenix inclined her head in understanding and with a flick of her tail, trilled a short song, looking out the window as though she was expecting something.

Moments later, another phoenix flew through the window, a white-gold one with tufts of red, green and blue feathers, it spoke with Fawkes for a few moments before turning it's emerald green eyes on Harry, "I am Saraide, I am the newest Phoenix to the order.  Take a feather of mine, one of the Gold ones."

Harry blinked, nodded, and grasped a golden feather.  Immediately, Saraide flew up and landed on his shoulder, "Thank you," he said to her.

Harry held out the feather to Dumbledore, "This is what I was given."

There was a muted muttering around the room, and Dumbledore stared at it for a moment, his thoughts shielded, "That is not possible, Harry."

Raising an Eyebrow, Harry turned a piercing gaze on Dumbledore, "and why not?"

Saraide, sitting on his shoulder chirped loudly, "Exactly," she said, in Phoenician.

Fawkes flew across to Dumbledore and chirped into his ear, unfortunately Harry couldn't understand it.  Finally Dumbledore nodded, "Lord Phoenix!" he said, dipping his head sharply to Harry.

There is a certain etiquette to bowing;  The deeper the bow, the more respect and more you like someone.  Because Dumbledore had only dipped his head, it showed he had little respect.  The others in the room took their lead from Dumbledore and only dipped their heads; The only two variations were Remus and Sirius.  Sirius dropped his eyes, not moving his head, and Remus gave a half-bow, showing his mistrust but open undecidedness.

"Thank you for your honesty, everyone," Harry said quietly, "I bring this meeting of the Order of the Phoenix to order."  He smiled genially at everyone, ignoring the mistrustful looks he received, "We are all here because of one person: Voldemort.  He has hurt everyone in some way or other," Harry looked around, seeing fear in peoples faces from the name, "As a part of the Order of the Phoenix, you will all train in both Magical and Muggle fighting techniques,"

One of the men stepped forwards, "Why should we listen to you?  What qualities make you our leader over Dumbledore?"