I left before I thought he would see me go. Normally I hate leaving him alone and the torture it must be. I can't imagine it. I can't see myself watching him walk out the door looking like a fallen angel. To know that he'd be sleeping with someone else. Saying sweet things that I thought he only to me to a stranger.
He was in the lobby when I tried to leave, with out words he looked at me and I followed him into the elevator. I kissed him, where the crease would be. He told me I looked beautiful, and that I was insane to wear these shoes. I nearly cried then. As we reached our floor he kissed me goodbye and I rode back down.
The doorman likes me, he likes me like a grandfather likes a granddaughter, he always asks me when I'm going to marry Dominic, when I'm going to get a proper job. He tells me in a kind way that I'm screwing up. As I walk past him he looks at me sadly and shakes his head.
"When are you going to stop putting that boy through hell?" His voice weighs like a thousand pounds on my chest. How do I tell then all that I don't like it?
"Soon Robert, soon." I answer him. When we first moved in here Robert though I was Dominic's mistress and made the sign of the cross when ever I passed, giving me the evil eye reserved for the most disreputable. One day we started talking, I explained that I needed the money and I wasn't good at much else. He felt sorry for me and adopted me in a way. Saying that his own daughter lives in Nebraska and he doesn't talk to her often. I hate letting him down.
Its freezing out. Maybe Dom was right and I should wear a coat. Oh well doesn't matter really. I head to my spot, hoping it won't be a busy night, then maybe I can go home early. One of the other girls just got into a car, she leaves her son at home while she does this.
That reminds me have to get my pregnancy test. I know I might just be late but what if… Oh he'll look so disappointed in me. I can't expect him to stick around. I might have missed my chance, I can't expect anyone to stick around to raise and support a child that might not be there's. Maybe I should do one job then get the test. Bring some money home, just in case.
He's sweet as all hell but like I said I don't expect him to stick around. Maybe I should go home right now, have at least one more night of him before I find out.
Some one pulled over, they want a girl for the night, I don't do full nighters, I have more respect for Dom then that. I'll wait around for a few more minutes then buy the test.
No one has even stopped. I've been talking to a few of the girls about what to do. One said I was lucky to have Dom in the first place and to abort it with out telling him. Another said to keep it and hope its his. I don't know what to do. No one stopped, I told them I'd be heading out so now I am.
I've never felt so self conscious. Its obvious I'm a whore from my outfit. Dominic never lefts me call myself that, tells me I'm better then that. Some of the girls have pimps who remind them that they're whores every day. Why don't they get pregnant not me? Some guy just tried to pick me up. I hate that, I hate the feeling of being cheep. Its really bad when I'm with Dominic and someone tries to pick me up saying they'll pay more then he is. They'll recognize me and flash money at me, I'm always embarrassed and I can tell he is.
The clerk is judging me looking at my leather skirt and heels, and the test I'm pushing forward, just like when I try and buy condoms. Maybe he recognizes me. One of the guys here knows me. He's sweet, never judges me and is wonderfully sympathetic. I've talked to him a fair few times. Maybe he's here now.
"Is Dylan here?"
"Listen girl, he won't want to use your services." The man tells me. "He's gay."
"I just want to talk to him." No way in hell this man believes me.
"He ain't around." The man takes my money and doesn't give me the change , or a bag.
I leave and run into Dylan who is smoking in front of the store. He looks at the test in my hand. "Honey." He sighs, letting me into the employs bathroom to take the test.
I hate waiting I'm staring at this test thinking that if I stare long enough it will say what I want it to, only I don't know what that is either. I don't want to look.
I'm pregnant. I throw the test away and try again.
Still pregnant. Shit.
Dylan looks at me as I come out, he looks sympathetic and hugs me. I don't have to tell him. Now I have to tell Dominic.
I walk in Robert is done with his shift and this doorman just wants to screw me. I go upstairs slowly pushing the button for every level up to mine. I forgot my key. I knock on the door. "Dom?"
"Are you okay?" How can he tell something's bothering me from the other side of the door?
"I'm fine." Technically it is true, I'm fine and I'm pregnant. "Let me in!" I want to be near him right now!
"Normally your not in for another two hours." How danm inconsiderate! I came home early!
"You don't want me here, well that's Fine!" I move to leave, knowing its an empty threat.
"Adri, you know I want you here, I love you." He hugs me bringing me back into our apartment. "Bad night?"
So he thinks that's the only reason I would come home early? "You can stop gloating." I pull off my shoes, he's right they are stupid. The bed looks so nice, I crawl onto it snuggling up like a small child. I must look silly.
"I'm not gloating." He's so reasonable, I can't be mad at him for that. He comes over and sits next to me.
"Yes you are." I pout.
"No I'm not." He moves so he's tracing my features lightly, its so intimate without seeming so. He tickles me accidentally and I giggle.
I reach up and catch his hand kissing his fingers. I should tell him now. "Dominic." I start.
"What?" He asks, patient. I feel the sudden urge to take my shower, I get up and grab my Pj's. Leaving him waiting, again.
After I get out of the shower I dry my hair. I think its too thick but he loves to bury his hands in it as he kisses me. I go out feeling better in the old Pjs then in my earlier ensemble. I see the bed and it looks deliciously warm. I almost leap for it snuggling in. Dominic has been ready for bed for a few hours at least. He climbs in.
"I won't be going out again." I tell him, I know he's relieved even though he won't say so outright.
"I never said you had to." he whispers pulling me closer.
"I'm pregnant." I say feeling the weight of the words crash down on him. "I know its wrong but we can have an abortion if you don't want it." I want to make sure he knows I want to stay with him, even if it means going to hell. "It might not be yours anyway." I want to make sure he knows that too.
"Adriana" He whispers "it doesn't matter if its mine or not, I'll love it no matter what." He kisses me softly, I don't think he knows how much that means to me.
"I just, your not mad." I'm crying over this but I don't think he knows how important that kiss was to me, how important that last thing he said to me was. How worried I didn't know I was that he would yell at me call me a whore and throw me out. And he didn't.
"Never." Oh I love him so much.
"Bumlets." Why did I call him that, a stupid nickname but the name I first knew him as. The one he gave me when he paid me that time. The only time he paid me. "I'm scared." Terrified more like it
"Magic, It will be okay. I can work a double shift and we have money set aside…" So sweet.
"Not about that, what if it doesn't grow up to be any better then us." What if my child has to walk the streets at night? What if my child grows up to live nothing better then me.
He kissed me, Joy and I felt great, all worries left me as he kissed me. I think he really wants this child.
Disclaimer: I own Magic/ Adriana and Disney owns Bumlets/Dominic.
Author's notes: Gahhh that was sad, I nearly cried writing it!
Author's Notes II: If you want more of this then I want reviews, dead serious! I have Ideas I need your reviews to make me wanna write it!
Cards on:
Clocks- I have three in my room and none of them are on time….
Shout outs:
Crutch: Well here's more!
Falco: Wow people really seem to like Magic!!
Gypsy: Yeah I wrote it! And I wrote more!
Deejay Supastar: You thought that was sad this must be maken' ya bawl…
Shortie: Yeah he does seem the daddy type…
Sparks: Here is more!!