Daria and all related characters belong to their creators and MTV, not me.
I'm just borrowing them for a while.
To Russia With Loathe By Winnalynne27
Daria and Tom are sitting in Tom's car after another date. Daria: No. No way. I am not going. Tom: Please, Daria? Daria: No, an eight hour plane ride is not my idea of fun. Tom: Come on, Daria, it'll be fun. Daria: No way. And you dare use my name and fun in the same sentence? Tom: Yeah, come on, Daria. You always wanted to go to Russia. Daria: I don't believe I ever said that. Tom: Tell me that you never wanted to see Lenin's tomb, the Red Square, the Hermitage. Daria: I have never wanted to see them. Looking at pictures in book is alright with me. And aren't Lenin's Tomb and Red Square in Moscow? Tom: Um, yeah. We're going there for a day. Besides, it'll be a good reason to miss school for two weeks in the fall. Plus you'll be away from your parents for two weeks and what else are you going to use five years of Russian for? Daria: For my college transcript and for getting out of a language requirement in college. Tom: You have to come. ??????????? (Please?) Daria: Two weeks with the uber-rich snobs from your prep school? No way." Tom: Please, Daria? Will you at least think about it? It really would mean a lot to me if you could come." Daria: Tom, not everyone's as rich as your family. I don't know if I can cough up the $1500 for the trip. Tom: But it's a deal of a lifetime! You don't even have to pay for a hotel because we're staying with host families. Daria: Isn't it a little late in the process anyway? Tom: We had a last minute cancellation and now there's an extra spot. It would really disappoint her host. She's been looking forward to it all year. The first three payments are already in; you'd only have to pay half. Can you at least ask your parents? Daria: I make no promises." Tom: Call me tomorrow, could you? And at least try. Please? Daria: Goodnight, Tom. Tom: Bye, Daria. He said as he swiftly planted a goodbye kiss on her lips. She was still unused to their relationship and stiffened slightly, but relaxed before quickly departing from the car. Tom: Call me!
The Morgendorffers are enjoying another meal of lasagna while gathered at their kitchen table. Quinn: And so then Sandi said to Stacy that there's a new foaming face wash out, that makes your pores all cute and tiny and smells so good and how that would help some people, and she totally meant me. Helen: (automatically) That's nice, Quinn. Daria, Quinn, Eric allowed me some time off at the end of September and your father and I decided that a family cruise would be a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with you girls. Jake: We did? Helen: Yes, Jake. Remember, last night?" Jake: Yeah, right before we. Helen: Jake! Not in front of the girls! Now, as I was saying, a cruise in the Caribbean would be a wonderful opportunity to relax and have some fun together. Daria: (acidly)Yes, right between the long-distance calls to Eric and the endless hours on the laptop, editing briefs. Helen: I promise! I'll leave all of my work behind. This is a family vacation and a little time with your family wouldn't hurt you any. Quinn: What about me? Why should I go? Daria: Nonstop gem shopping and foreign men with accents. Isn't that your department? Quinn: Well, if you put it that way. It's a big ship, isn't it? So I can do my own thing? Daria: Yes, thus confirming the trip as a family affair. Helen: So, Daria, what are your thoughts on this trip? Daria: Well, as delighted as I would be to go on this trip, Tom has asked me to go to St. Petersburg with his Russian class at the end of September. Jake: Hey! That's only in Florida! I'm sure we can drop you off before the cruise! Helen: No, Jake, she means the St. Petersburg in Russia, not Florida!" Jake: Oh. Sorry. Helen: Well. I don't know. Isn't it a bit late to plan for this trip? Daria: They had a last-minute cancellation, with half the trip paid for. Helen: Well, it is the trip of a lifetime. But I had been looking forward to this trip together. Daria: But it is a trip of a lifetime. And we wouldn't want to disappoint that poor Russian host. Quinn: Daria gets to go to Europe! That's not fair! Daria: If you saw Russian men, you would be glad to go on that cruise. Jake: Helen, isn't it more than we can afford? Helen: It would cost as much if she went to St. Petersburg as if she went on the cruise with us. And it's a wonderful opportunity for Daria. As long as you behave, you can go. No funny business with Tom and no drinking. Daria: I'll try to avoid those stereotypes of the ugly American as much as possible.
Cut to scenes of the Morgendorffers packing. Quinn shopping. Quinn packing. Quinn shopping. Quinn packing. Quinn stuffing more clothes into her giant suitcase. Daria spending ten minutes to take three skirts and a pair of jeans out of her closet, plus several tops. In an afterthought, the cheese comes too. Cut to scene of Morgendorffers loading up their car, with Jake swearing because he can't get Quinn's 4 suitcases into the trunk. Cut to Lawndale International Airport.
Jake: Well, here we are kiddo! Daria: Thanks, Dad. Tom enters. Helen: Now remember. Daria: I know, don't do anything you wouldn't do. And everything else too. Smirks. An announcement over the loudspeaker. Announcer: Finn Air flight 666 to Helsinki is now boarding at gate 13. Tom: That's our flight, we'd better go. Daria: Yeah, we'd better go. Quinn: Wouldn't want to miss the chance to see those Russian guys. Daria: I'll miss you too, Quinn. Daria looks back with one last smirk.
On the plane. Tom: A bit nervous? Daria: Not at all. Tom: Then tell that to your hand. I'm losing feeling in my arm here. Daria: Eep! Sorry. Tom: Don't worry, Daria. This'll be fun. Daria: Then why did the tickets say from LWD to HEL? We're going from one hell to another. Tom: Well, at least you can say you've been to hell and back. Daria: Thanks. I think. Tom: Just relax and enjoy the next 8 hours. Daria:Sighs. I'll try.
To Russia With Loathe By Winnalynne27
Daria and Tom are sitting in Tom's car after another date. Daria: No. No way. I am not going. Tom: Please, Daria? Daria: No, an eight hour plane ride is not my idea of fun. Tom: Come on, Daria, it'll be fun. Daria: No way. And you dare use my name and fun in the same sentence? Tom: Yeah, come on, Daria. You always wanted to go to Russia. Daria: I don't believe I ever said that. Tom: Tell me that you never wanted to see Lenin's tomb, the Red Square, the Hermitage. Daria: I have never wanted to see them. Looking at pictures in book is alright with me. And aren't Lenin's Tomb and Red Square in Moscow? Tom: Um, yeah. We're going there for a day. Besides, it'll be a good reason to miss school for two weeks in the fall. Plus you'll be away from your parents for two weeks and what else are you going to use five years of Russian for? Daria: For my college transcript and for getting out of a language requirement in college. Tom: You have to come. ??????????? (Please?) Daria: Two weeks with the uber-rich snobs from your prep school? No way." Tom: Please, Daria? Will you at least think about it? It really would mean a lot to me if you could come." Daria: Tom, not everyone's as rich as your family. I don't know if I can cough up the $1500 for the trip. Tom: But it's a deal of a lifetime! You don't even have to pay for a hotel because we're staying with host families. Daria: Isn't it a little late in the process anyway? Tom: We had a last minute cancellation and now there's an extra spot. It would really disappoint her host. She's been looking forward to it all year. The first three payments are already in; you'd only have to pay half. Can you at least ask your parents? Daria: I make no promises." Tom: Call me tomorrow, could you? And at least try. Please? Daria: Goodnight, Tom. Tom: Bye, Daria. He said as he swiftly planted a goodbye kiss on her lips. She was still unused to their relationship and stiffened slightly, but relaxed before quickly departing from the car. Tom: Call me!
The Morgendorffers are enjoying another meal of lasagna while gathered at their kitchen table. Quinn: And so then Sandi said to Stacy that there's a new foaming face wash out, that makes your pores all cute and tiny and smells so good and how that would help some people, and she totally meant me. Helen: (automatically) That's nice, Quinn. Daria, Quinn, Eric allowed me some time off at the end of September and your father and I decided that a family cruise would be a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with you girls. Jake: We did? Helen: Yes, Jake. Remember, last night?" Jake: Yeah, right before we. Helen: Jake! Not in front of the girls! Now, as I was saying, a cruise in the Caribbean would be a wonderful opportunity to relax and have some fun together. Daria: (acidly)Yes, right between the long-distance calls to Eric and the endless hours on the laptop, editing briefs. Helen: I promise! I'll leave all of my work behind. This is a family vacation and a little time with your family wouldn't hurt you any. Quinn: What about me? Why should I go? Daria: Nonstop gem shopping and foreign men with accents. Isn't that your department? Quinn: Well, if you put it that way. It's a big ship, isn't it? So I can do my own thing? Daria: Yes, thus confirming the trip as a family affair. Helen: So, Daria, what are your thoughts on this trip? Daria: Well, as delighted as I would be to go on this trip, Tom has asked me to go to St. Petersburg with his Russian class at the end of September. Jake: Hey! That's only in Florida! I'm sure we can drop you off before the cruise! Helen: No, Jake, she means the St. Petersburg in Russia, not Florida!" Jake: Oh. Sorry. Helen: Well. I don't know. Isn't it a bit late to plan for this trip? Daria: They had a last-minute cancellation, with half the trip paid for. Helen: Well, it is the trip of a lifetime. But I had been looking forward to this trip together. Daria: But it is a trip of a lifetime. And we wouldn't want to disappoint that poor Russian host. Quinn: Daria gets to go to Europe! That's not fair! Daria: If you saw Russian men, you would be glad to go on that cruise. Jake: Helen, isn't it more than we can afford? Helen: It would cost as much if she went to St. Petersburg as if she went on the cruise with us. And it's a wonderful opportunity for Daria. As long as you behave, you can go. No funny business with Tom and no drinking. Daria: I'll try to avoid those stereotypes of the ugly American as much as possible.
Cut to scenes of the Morgendorffers packing. Quinn shopping. Quinn packing. Quinn shopping. Quinn packing. Quinn stuffing more clothes into her giant suitcase. Daria spending ten minutes to take three skirts and a pair of jeans out of her closet, plus several tops. In an afterthought, the cheese comes too. Cut to scene of Morgendorffers loading up their car, with Jake swearing because he can't get Quinn's 4 suitcases into the trunk. Cut to Lawndale International Airport.
Jake: Well, here we are kiddo! Daria: Thanks, Dad. Tom enters. Helen: Now remember. Daria: I know, don't do anything you wouldn't do. And everything else too. Smirks. An announcement over the loudspeaker. Announcer: Finn Air flight 666 to Helsinki is now boarding at gate 13. Tom: That's our flight, we'd better go. Daria: Yeah, we'd better go. Quinn: Wouldn't want to miss the chance to see those Russian guys. Daria: I'll miss you too, Quinn. Daria looks back with one last smirk.
On the plane. Tom: A bit nervous? Daria: Not at all. Tom: Then tell that to your hand. I'm losing feeling in my arm here. Daria: Eep! Sorry. Tom: Don't worry, Daria. This'll be fun. Daria: Then why did the tickets say from LWD to HEL? We're going from one hell to another. Tom: Well, at least you can say you've been to hell and back. Daria: Thanks. I think. Tom: Just relax and enjoy the next 8 hours. Daria:Sighs. I'll try.