Hello, Mirror
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Eh...first CCS fanfiction. Love it, hate it, just keep in mind that it's my first. Anyway, I've always wondered what was going on in Yukito's mind when he found out that he wasn't _just_ Yukito. (It's also been a while since I last watched an episode--so, once again, just bear with me.) I hope you enjoy this, anyway! Ja ne!
Disclaimer: Neko-chan doesn't own Card Captor Sakura. The manga is excellent and beautifully drawn and the (subbed) CCS is great! So Neko-chan can't take any credit at all for it... Bah.
Ah. Hello, mirror. It's been a while, hasn't it? How long? I can't really remember. But, it's nice to finally see you again. I can't really say that I've actually _missed_ you, but it _is_ nice to see you again after so long. Or would it be that you're finally seeing _me_?
But which me would you actually me seeing? The me that I think I am...or the me that's deep inside me, the me that I never knew existed until a little while ago. I was told his name, but I wanted to forget it. After all, how would you feel if you were told that you weren't completely human?
Oh!; but _that's_ a laugh! If you think about it, are we ever completely human?
I'm just even less human than most people. After all...do they have a whole and completely different person sharing the same body with them? I'm sure--and I'm positive that you'll agree with me--that most people don't seem to have to deal with that type of problem. And that makes me different. Completely and totally different from everyone else.
It terrifies me, sometimes. Knowing...knowing that another person is resting deep within me. I know that he would never harm me or my friends--he's sworn to protect Sakura, whatever that really means.
I know that I don't really sound like my usual self right now. That I'm being cynical and harsher than I really am. But I'm bitter. Wouldn't you be, too, if you were told that you weren't really human? That all of your experiences, your life, your friends...all are just like figments of a dream. I don't really know what to believe anymore. What if...what if I wake up and find out that all of my friends really _were_ just dreams...and I would be left all alone. Just by myself... And Yue.
I _do_ want to wake up. But why can't I? Why can't this all be some huge joke? Or why can't this just be a dream? I _want_ to be human. But why can't I? I never asked for this. I never wanted this. I never wanted to be special. I just wanted to be me--Yukito. I wanted to be like everyone else. I just want to be loved, have a family, go to school, have a career. Maybe someday get married. But how _can_ I?
I'm not even _human._
Everything is just so confusing right now. I don't know what to think and I don't know what to do. How can I? I don't even know who--or what--I am anymore. I don't know I really am _me._ Surreal... And harsh. Sometimes, it does seem just like a dream. And other times...it seems harsher than reality. What I just said _does_ sound contradictory. But if you understood what I'm going through, then you'll know all too well that my descriptions fit my feelings, my _perceptions_ exactly. Perfectly.
Everyone tells me that everything will be alright. But...will it really and truly end up being alright? For some reason, I doubt them. I have a niggling feeling that everything will NOT end up being alright. After all, in the end, they'll still be themselves. I'll always be me...and _not_ me. (Am I confusing you yet? Try being me just for a single day and then--and only then--will you understand confusing.)
I pause for a moment.
Mirror? You're still listening to me? Everyone else would have left me to my thoughts a long time ago. But you're still here. You're still listening to me while I express the frustration and the confusion that I feel within me. Thank you for staying. Thank you for listening to me. But wait a minute more--please don't believe that everything will continue on as it had before now. I've grown wary of you. I don't really want to visit you anymore. Don't expect me to come back, mirror. I'm sorry, but... I just can't handle the reflection that you show me anymore. It _has_ been a long time since I had last visited you...and it'll probably be an even longer time before I visit you once again.
I stare a bit longer into the mirror and, suddenly, my reflection changes into someone completely different. There is me. The HUMAN me. Yukito. And then there is Yue, the NON-HUMAN me. Our images seem to merge for a moment and then he finally steps away. Now there are two separate mes--the Yukito-me and the Yue-me.
"Hello, mirror," I tell the Yue-me.
"Hello, mirror," he replies back.
A/N: Anyway, personally...I think that this is crappy. But I hoped you liked it anyway! If you actually managed to read this the whole way through, be a wonderful reader and leave a review, 'kay? Aishiteru! *MWA* ^_~ Ja ne!
~Neko-chan